A Flicker of Light (24 page)

“Yes, I guess you’re right. We have to hope they are telling the truth.”

“You see all those bags of grain outside? The SS brought those. They want me to bake some bread. So I will do it, and you will help me. We will look like perfect German Nazis. That way they won’t be looking for anything.”

“All right, Mama, I agree with you. But I am so nervous, and Aaron said to be sure to remind you and Klaus that we need to find a better hiding place for the rest of the food and the radio.”

“Well, it’s too late for that now. We must just hope they don’t know anything about it. I understand that you’re scared, but we must try to fool them. I told Klaus the same thing. He’s outside helping the guard who’s overseeing those poor folks, the prisoners
from the camps. We don’t want
trouble, so we must pretend to be exactly what they want us to be.”

S

iegland and Petra spent the afternoon kneading and rolling dough to prepare the heavy German breads for baking. The heat from the oven made the temperature inside the house almost unbearable, but despite the sweat trickling down their faces and pooling beneath their arms, they continued the effort.

In the deep seclusion of the woods, Aaron walked. His sensitivity to light heightened as the sun burst through the trees. So much time in the darkness had made him appreciative of every small creature. Squirrels scampered up trees, running across the branches above him. Butterflies enhanced the beauty of the forest with their grace and beauty. For two hours he strolled with no obvious path, until he came to a stream. The water ran over rounded stones of all sizes, cool and clear, beckoning him, and so he bent to drink. The life-giving liquid had a pure, refreshing taste, and he took off his clothes to partake of a swim. Fish fluttered by his legs, tickling him as they did. Aaron luxuriated in the soft, gurgling water as he felt cleansed of his past suffering. Once he had his fill of this luxury, he left the stream and stood naked, the sun
embracing him as the water dripped off of his muscular body. Before he could rest, he washed the filth from his clothes and laid them out to dry. Then he lay his relaxed and freshly-clean body down and let the sun seep deep into the core of his being. As he felt the cool earth beneath him, his mind drifted to Petra.

Back at the farm,
Siegland
addressed Petra in a soft whisper, “It’s not safe for you to go tonight.”

“You knew I planned to go to see Aaron, Mama?’

“Of course, I know. But I think that tonight maybe it would be better if you stay here. I think they might follow you.”

She ached to be with Aaron - to sleep in his arms - but she thought that perhaps
Siegland
might be right. If she went, she could lead them to him. Outside, the soldiers sang German war songs as the family sat with false smiles, awaiting their departure and hoping it would be soon.

At the end of the day, the SS herded the prisoners away as usual. Broken, tired and sickly-thin, the men and women in their striped uniforms walked slowly forward to the open trucks as the guards prodded them with their rifle butts. Petra watched through the window as the vehicles, loaded with the walking dead, drove away.
Siegland
gave her a knowing look, and the two women reached for each other’s hands and held tight.

A

s the full moon took her rightful place in the night sky, Aaron sat waiting under the oak tree. Petra did not come. His mind spun in circles. Worry and concern consumed him. Had they been found out? Could Petra be in trouble? He knew she would come if she could. Patience, he told himself, don’t go to the farm. Trust her judgment. Wait for her. She will be here. The night passed and she never arrived. By morning, he’d become frantic. Aaron paced the forest like a wild cat. One more night - perhaps he should give her one more night before he went to the farm to investigate. The entire day he stayed beneath the tree where they had agreed to meet. He thought that perhaps she might come, but she didn’t.

The following day he caught a fish in the stream. It took over three hours of grasping at the slippery creatures, only to have them slide off into their watery world, but at long last he’d succeeded. Without a fire he ate the fish raw. Sickened by the thick, slimy texture of the skin and worried about Petra’s safety, he soon grew nauseated, but he knew he must control his urge to vomit. He needed the nourishment to survive. Aaron left the stream and found
his way back into the forest, out of the sun. He hoped that the shade would alleviate the headache that had begun pounding behind his eyes.

Aaron could not wait for nightfall. It would be too difficult to see in the dark. If he went now he would be at a disadvantage, unprotected in the light of day. But his concern for Petra would not allow him to wait any longer to be sure everything was all right. So he went as far as he could under the protection of the trees, and then, in order to get closer, he walked out of the safety of the forest and continued on his way towards the farmhouse.

The soldiers were camped all around the
Bruchmei
e
r
land. Afraid to alert them, no one from the family had dared to question them about how long they planned to stay. The SS guards continued to appear in the morning with the prisoners
,
ready to finish harvesting the crops. Klaus watched
Siegland
. He feared that she might say something dangerous if she felt her sense of righteousness was pushed too far. In the early years of their marriage, Klaus had admired his wife’s outspoken nature. How she’d stood up when she observed an injustice. Now, however, that kind of behavior could only serve as a hazard to them all.

Loud and boisterous, the soldiers surrounded the farm
, noisy
with their co
nversations and laughter. Duffel
bags and discarded clothing lay strewn about. Many of the men had removed their boots and tended to their injured feet. Others came to
Siegland
in their undershirts and drawers, requesting that she wash their uniforms.

Petra knew that Aaron would be worried. She prayed that he would not come back looking for her. If he did she, feared that they would spot him. But he would need food soon, and as things stood, she could not bring it to him. For Petra there was some reassurance in the knowledge that he had survived in the forest before, and he would now, at least until she could get away and go to him.

Aaron’s anxiety over Petra grew stronger, and he lost si
ght of concern for his own well-
being. When he arrived
,
he hid behind the neighbor’s elm tree
and looked out toward the
Bruch
meiers
’
farm. From where he stood he could see soldiers wearing German army uniforms standing in crowds, socializing. He felt dread at the threat they posed to Petra, as well as
Siegland
and Klaus, who had offered him shelter at great risk to themselves. Every fiber of his being wanted to race out and protect his
love. With all the
restraint he co
uld muster, he stayed in place
and watched. Although Aaron looked all around
,
Klaus
was nowhere to be seen. But finally after several minutes, he saw
Siegland
and Petra walk outside, carrying platters and surrounded by soldiers. The men seemed gracious and oblivious to their surroundings, not like soldiers on duty at all. He contemplated the situation and decided to watch and wait. It did not appear as if Petra was in any danger. Still, he would not go far. Staying close, he would find a way to try to protect her if things got out of control.

Aaron knew that without the sh
ield of the woods he was
much more vulnerable. It would be best, he thought, to wait in the forest until nightfall, and then make his way in the darkness to the
Bruchmei
e
r
farm.

Walking quickly across the road, he did not notice the Nazi officers sitting with their girlfriends in a large black automobile. One of the men and his lady friend were arguing. The woman left the vehicle, slamming the door as she went. Had the Nazis not been watching the woma
n as she marched down the road
,
they would never have noticed the ragged young man racing toward the edge of the dense woods. Incensed with the girl, the SS Officer needed an outlet for his anger, so he jumped from the car and took off after Aaron. Seeing the man in the dreaded uniform, Aaron sprinted faster, slipping and falling upon
some
stones.

Approached by the officer, and dragged from the ground to his feet, Aaron’s heart was beating so loud that he could barely hear the man’s words.

“Who are
you? What are you doing here?” t
he Nazi asked.

“I am a farmer. I am going fishing in the stream!”

“Fishing, huh? So where is your pole? And more importantly, why did you run when you saw me if you have nothing to hide?’

Aaron had not been alert
;
instead he’d been lost in concern for Petra, and now he could not think quickly. The realization hit him he had spoken without thinking. If he were a farmer going fishing he would have a pole. They had him. Fear blasted adrenaline into his muscles, and he dashed away. The Nazi took his gun from his belt and fired, but missed by just inches.

“
Stop,
or I will kill you!”

Aaron stopped.

“Where are your papers?”

“I don’t have them with me,
” Aaron said.

“You are very suspicious. I think you look like a Jew.” Sunlight reflected off of the shiny death-head symbol in
the center of the Nazi’s black hat. “We had a problem sometime back in this area concerning a Jew. Perhaps you are the culprit?” With the butt of his weapon, the officer pushed Aaron to the groun
d. Standing over Aaron as he
lay
there
, the Nazi appeared grand in stature.

The other SS man got out the car and approached now.

“What is this?”
             

“I think we have found a Jew.” Kicking Aaron in the stomach for good measure, he smiled at his friend. That slut of a girl may have rejected him, but no one could consider him powerless, the Nazi thought smugly.

“Good, I believe we have been having some trouble in these parts. I recall a murder committed by a Jew just a few months ago. Perhaps this is him.”

“I remember that incident.” The other officer nodded in agreement with his friend.

“Filthy people, Look at him - they don’t keep themselves clean. They are less than animals.”

“Let’s take him back to headquarters. I am sure they will ship him out to a camp.”

Looking about wildly, Aaron realized that if he tried to run he would be shot immediately. Worse, Petra would find his body. That caused him the most distress of all.

Grabbing his arm, one of the Nazis pulled him to his feet and dragged him to the car. Handcuffing him, the SS man threw him in the back seat. The girl who sat there yelped in alarm.

“What is this?” The girl asked pointing at Aaron.

“A Jew.”

“I don’t want to sit with him!”

“Walk, like your friend did, then.”

The girl folded her arms across her chest and leaned into the window as they pulled away.

Aaron knew his chances for escape were minimal, and yet he thought only of Petra. She would be alarmed when she couldn’t find him
,
and he prayed she would not take any unnecessary chances. Even if he died, as long as she did nothing to alert the enemy, she would be safe with
Siegland
and Klaus. “Dear God,” he thought, “Please do not let Petra ever doubt my love for her.  Please watch over her and keep her safe, and if I cannot return to her, please
let her go on with her life and find a way to be happy without me.”

T

he loud laughter of one of the men interrupted Aaron’s thought
s
.

“What’s so funny?” the girl in the back seat glared at them angrily.

“Look, over there. It’s your friend. She’s walking like a fool on the dirt road in high heels. Do you think we should pick her up?”

“And then I am going to have to sit closer to this dirty Jew?”

The smell of the leather seats mingled with sex and a hint of cologne, while stale cigar smoke permeated the inside of the vehicle. Aaron tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs felt as if they had frozen. His breath came in short, painful gasps as he felt himself becoming lightheaded.

“Well, we could throw him back out onto the road,” the Nazi grinned
.

Aaron’s heart took fligh
t.
C
ould he be this fortunate? From the window of the moving car, the world seemed to
spin by. Dare he trust them? Could he allow himself to believe that he might live, that he might see Petra again? Petra, just the thought of Petra and how she would surely come looking for him stabbed him like a knife in the heart. Half-crazed with frustration that he could not protect her, he felt filled with shame that she had met him now
,
when the Nazis had reduced him to less than a man. It made him feel that he had to fight back, even if it meant he would almost surely die in the attempt.