A Girl Between (4 page)

Dr. Lee came in to see me late in the afternoon.  Fortunately,
my aunt and cousins had left the hospital for a breather.  I’m not ready to
explain this to them.  It’s too weird.

I tried to get a read on Dr. Lee by looking into her eyes.  Ever
since I was young, I knew I had a talent for sizing up people that way.  When I’ve
sensed something about a person’s character or personality, I know I’m usually
right.  At least it’s turned out that way, so far.  If I’m off, I believe it’s
because someone’s persona can be hidden by a temporary strong emotion, such as immediate
anger or joy.  Anyway, I had some difficulty reading Dr. Lee.  Her professional
façade turned her eyes into stone.  That’s too bad.  I find it easier to deal
with people when I sense that I can trust them. 

Dr. Lee was conservatively dressed with her hair tied back.  She
looked a little younger than Aunt Amy.  She strode over to my bed with her hand
extended.  “Hello, Tessie. I’m Dr. Lee.  Your staff doctor, Dr. Yang, asked me
to stop by and talk with you as soon as possible.”

I shook her hand and politely looked at her; however, I kept
myself closed.  “Hello, Dr. Lee.”

She pulled a chair over to my bed, and pulled out a pad and
pencil before she spoke.  “Dr. Yang explained to me that you have a rather unusual
head injury.”

I replied, “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

She looked at me and asked, “What have your symptoms been
since the injury?”

“I’m getting headaches,” I answered.

Dr. Lee cleared her throat and continued, “What else is
happening?”

“I’m seeing colors,” I replied.

Dr. Lee was starting to look exasperated.  Good.  Showing
emotion made her appear more human.  “Tess, could you please get into more
detail with me.  I don’t want to have to pull everything out of you.”

I wanted to ignore her, but I finally answered, “The visuals
started after I woke up from the injury.  The first time I experienced them was
when my family came here to visit.  My aunt and my cousins had colors
surrounding them, particularly around their heads.”

“Does this apply to anyone you see?” She asked.

I should just come right out and tell her.  She’s probably
wondering if I see colors around her.  “Yes, I see colors around anyone that
I’ve had contact with since the injury.  Just so you know, I see a blue/green
colors around you, too,” I asserted.  I think I took Dr. Lee by surprise.

‘Tess, there may be more than one possibility, but I can
only think of one that makes real sense to me.  This is a very unusual case.  I
can’t remember ever hearing of something like this.”  Dr. Lee had her hand on
her chin, her eyes on my face.  “I hope you don’t mind, but I find this
fascinating.  I’m aware you must be feeling some distress about this unusual
ability you have.”

Talk about clinical!  I guess I grabbed her interest,
anyway.  At least that’s something.  At that point, I asked her sarcastically,
“If you get a spare moment, perhaps you could explain to me what the heck is
happening, and how I can stop it?”

She smiled sheepishly and said, “I’m sorry.  I am a doctor,
but I’m also a scientist.  My specialty is paranormal brain activity.  I would
say that your abilities fall within that category.  It is of great interest to
me, but of course, you’re looking for an explanation.”  I nodded in agreement.

“I brought my laptop so that I can access my current
research,” Dr. Lee commented, as she placed her computer onto my bedside table
and turned it on.  “It would be helpful to refer to my files for accuracy, or,
if you have additional questions.”  She continued searching through files on
her hard drive.  “Here’s the correct section.  I knew it was in here,
somewhere.”  She turned to me and asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yep, I’m all ears,” I replied.

She turned back to her computer.  “I believe that you’ve acquired
what’s been called ‘The Third Eye’ by some.”  She paused for a second before
proceeding, going over the material, before telling me, “There’s a gland in
your frontal lobe called the pineal gland.  It’s about the size of a grain of
rice, located near the center of the brain, and tucked in a groove between the two
cerebral hemispheres.  The pineal gland has been known as ‘the organ of inner
vision’.  As she said that, she raised her eyebrows, and then continued, “It’s
likely that your pineal gland was pierced by the sharp metal pin, which then
stimulated the gland in some way.  Some people theorize that such stimulation
can lead to the enhancement of psychic talents, including the ability of reading
auras.  Does this make sense to you so far?” she looked over to me with her
eyebrows raised.

‘Well, it sounds like this metal pin entered a gland in my
head that in turn may have triggered an unusual response.  I didn’t get the
last part,” I admitted.

“An aura is an energy field that surrounds human beings.  The
true aura of a person is supposed to reflect what’s inside of the person; who
they are as an elemental being.  You might say that the aura is supposed to
reflect what is truly in their soul.  It sifts through a person’s superficial
facade of manners, customs, habits and the lies they may tell.  Some readers of
auras also claim that auras can sometimes detect if a person is experiencing an
extreme mood, such as jealousy, or even their current state of health,” Dr. Lee
stated.

“What’s an aura again?” I asked.

“Let’s look up the exact meaning.  It says, ‘An invisible breath,
emanation, or radiation; a distinctive but tangible quality that seems to
surround a person’.”  She turned to me, “Does that answer your question?”

I asked, puzzled, “I’m seeing all these different colors around
people.  Are auras supposed to be different colors?”

“Different colors are supposed to signify different
qualities.  For example, pink might suggest that someone is very loving.  A
flash of bright red may signify extreme anger.  It’s also believed that auras
can detect serious health issues affecting major organs.”

I looked at Dr. Lee in astonishment.  “Are you saying that
when I see someone’s aura colors that I’m seeing the real inside person, not
the phony nice act that people put out there, or the ‘look at how tough I am’
act?”

She chuckled, “I forgot that you’re in high school, the time
of ultimate posturing.  Adults of course, wear a veneer of respectability,
whereas adolescence is a time of mutual peer rebellion and detachment from
figures of authority.”

I looked at her like she was crazy, “What the heck are you
talking about?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.  I am getting off track.  You are very
mature for your age.  I was using psychology jargon.”  Dr. Lee actually looked
chagrined. 

“I can’t stand that kind of talk,” I remarked.  “Anyway, I
have another question.  You mentioned that some people can read auras?  I
presume they didn’t have an accident like I did.  How can THEY then read auras?”

Dr. Lee looked over her material and then answered, “Actually,
there are old writings that indicate your accident was not the only one to have
activated auric reading.  Those writings are not documented, so we don’t know
if they’re very truthful.  However, it is believed that some people are born
with the ability to read auras.  There are others, still, who claim to have
trained themselves to read auras through practice and meditation.  I don’t know
if that’s true or not.”

“What about some of the colors I see?  For example,
I
see a clear blue/green around you.  What does that mean?” I asked.

Dr. Lee referred to her research and replied, “The colors
mean all different things.  Clear green is frequently associated with healers.  Seeing
that you’re in a hospital, you’ve probably seen a few people in here with a
green aura.  Bright blue is associated with someone who’s down to earth, calm
and purposeful.  Dark or muddy colors usually indicate something undesirable, such
as an immature ego, a negative emotion, or the presence of a serious ailment.”

“How can I find out about other aura colors that I see?” I inquired.

“If you’d like, I can make a copy of this article for you. 
There are also some good books on the subject which I could recommend.  They’re
based on research.  Don’t read just any old thing on the internet.  Some of the
material out there on psychic ability is very speculative.  Be aware that any
information on psychic phenomenon, in general, will not be precise.  It is an
inexact science.”  She turned to me and remarked, “Does this information ease
your mind at all?”

I glared at her, “Are you serious?  Do you know how this
could impact me?  How can I shut the darn thing off?  That’s what I need to
know.  Can you imagine going around and seeing people as they really are, all
the time, especially the bad stuff?  I have to say that I’m really good at
reading people by looking in their eyes.  I make a point not to see into people
because I don’t want to know what’s really going on with them.  I worry about
people, even strangers.  It would be such a heavy load to carry around all the
time.  I couldn’t stand it.”

Dr. Lee smiled at me with sympathy in her eyes.  “I’m sorry,
Tess.  I know I’ve gotten a little carried away with all of this.  I have to
remind myself that we’re talking about your life.  You just made a very
eloquent case for learning how to shut it off, at least periodically.  Before
we go onto that, I would like to comment on something you said about being able
to read people by looking into their eyes.  Special abilities such as that are commonly
linked to other special gifts; one leads to another.  In other words, you may
have been susceptible to acquiring the ability to read auras because you
already have a special talent.  Anyway, that’s neither here nor there.

“Let’s get to your big concern, which is how to shut it off.
 I’m afraid I’ll have to use an educated guess for that.  Unfortunately,
turning it off isn’t usually the problem.  Most research involves how to enhance
reading auras, not stopping it.  You’ll probably have to train yourself to turn
it off through trial and error.  I suggest that when you see someone and their
aura starts to appear, immediately think about something that will grab your thoughts,
such as your favorite book, or something you want to do later in the day.  Do
not look in the person’s eyes or think about them.  Switch your mind to
something else.  When the aura appears, don’t look at it; try to completely
ignore it.  This will be a gradual process.  Once your mind understands how to
slow it down, you can then use the same technique to block it.  Once you learn
to block it, you may be able to see the aura or stop it at will.”

I was trying to absorb everything she’d told me.  I’ve
noticed that since talking with Dr. Lee, her aura has disappeared.  Now that
I’m thinking about it and watching her, it’s flowing back around her.  Perhaps
her suggestions will work.  Well, it’s all I’ve got for now.  “Thanks for your
help, Dr. Lee.  I’ll try using your suggestions.”

“By the way, Tessie, I have a good friend who’s a
psychiatrist at Yale New Haven Hospital, in Connecticut.  I did my psychiatric
residency with him.  If it’s all right with you, I’ll contact him and tell him
all about your case.  Then, if you need some future assistance when you get to
Connecticut, someone familiar with your situation will be available for you to
see.  Take my card and call me, or send me an email and I can set things up.  His
name is Dr. Harris.”  She handed me her professional business card.

Dr. Lee started to close up her computer when her eyes lit
up.  “Tess, there is one more bit of information about auras that I wanted to
tell you, but I had forgotten.  It is quite interesting.  Would you like to
hear it?”

It looks like she’s about to salivate.  I guess I’ll let her
tell me.  “OK, go ahead.”

“Well, I don’t know if it is true or not, but it’s certainly
an intriguing piece of research.  I’ve studied paranormal activity as it
relates to the different major religions of the world.  There are some Eastern
religions that believe in auras; however, they view them from a different
perspective.  They believe that people live many lives for the purpose of spiritual
evolution.  We’ve been discussing how the color of a person’s aura is a
reflection of their one and only present life.  These Eastern religions believe
that the clarity, brightness and color of an aura reveal the age and the evolutionary
progression of a person’s soul over their many lives.”

I raised my eyebrows.  “Over their many lives?  They believe
that people live many lives?  Now THAT sounds crazy!”

The next day I was released from the hospital.  We stayed
overnight at a hotel near the train station and then boarded the train the next
morning.  I think Aunt Amy was concerned about how I would feel, being on the
train again, but I was OK.  I was already worried about how much this stop had
cost her, between the hotel and the hospital.  I didn’t want to add to her
worries by asking her to pay for bus or plane tickets in order to get to
Connecticut.

I was more concerned about seeing auras all over the place
once I was out of the hospital.  I knew that would’ve driven me crazy, so I
donned a pair of dark sunglasses when I left the place.  The glasses definitely
helped.  I was also trying some of the techniques that Dr. Lee had mentioned,
such as ignoring the auras and focusing on other things.  That seemed to be
working, too, at least some of the time.  I was also super tired so I ended up
sleeping much of the time we were on the train.  It seemed to take forever to
get to our destination, but finally we arrived.

We got to Hartford and took a taxi to my grandmother’s house
in Woodley.  My cousins and I have never been in this part of the country
before.  The highways and office buildings don’t look that different from
Colorado, but the houses and the landscape are very different.  There are
beautiful large trees and old homes everywhere.  We don’t have these kinds of
historical buildings where we lived.  There’s also something about this area
that seems familiar to me.  I can’t exactly put my finger on it.  “Aunt Amy,
are you sure I’ve never been to Grandma Edwina’s house before?”  Even as I was
asking her, I knew it wasn’t possible.

“No, you’ve never been here,” she answered.  “I haven’t even
been here myself since I married Frank.  He didn’t get along with Grandma Edwina,
so I stayed away to keep peace in the family.  It’s been over 13 years since
I’ve been back.” 

I realized that I was still feeling this sense of familiarity
with the general layout of Woodley and a few of the old homes.  I also knew
that there was an old Congregational church next to a bridge on the way to Grandmas. 
Why would I know that?  I wouldn’t say anything to my cousins or my aunt
because they think I’m strange as it is.  Maybe I’ve seen pictures of the town
while looking at photos of Grandma Edwina’s house.  That doesn’t sound right,
but nothing else made sense.

As we were riding down the road Grandma lived on, my
uneasiness grew.  This was creepy.  There was an old red house that I felt like
I had been in before.  I remembered a large fireplace with a cast iron pot
hanging over it.  I must’ve seen something like that in a picture book.

My Grandma Edwina turned out to be a bit of an eccentric. 
She lived in a large, old colonial house with a big red barn that had two hex
signs on it.  The taxi pulled around to the back, so we went in through the
back porch that ran along the back of the house.  I immediately loved the porch.
 It was screened in, and had a wooden glider and a strung up hammock.  Grandma
met us at the door, wearing an old straw hat, worn jeans and a big old sweater.
 She was very tan, but you knew that she was definitely not one to sit around
in a lounge chair sunbathing.  She must’ve spent a lot of her free time working
outside.  I noticed one of those old push mowers sitting in the back yard.  Do
people still use those things?

Her hair was in a braid that was tied up in a knot at the
back of her head, and her eyes were a startling blue against her tan skin.  Her
eyes matched her bright blue aura.  It was very striking.  I had a hard time
blocking it out for a while.  Words come to mind when I contemplated what her
blue aura means: ‘true blue’, purposeful, quiet, calm, good judgment.  I wasn’t
really sure what aura colors meant, but I believed I was developing a sense for
it.

She stood there for a minute and studied each one of us.  I
had the feeling that she saw us for the refugees that we were, evacuated from
our own family war zone.  She finally nodded, quietly said her hellos, and
hugged each of us in turn.  I got the sense that she was glad to see us; she
just wasn’t one to waste words.  My Grandfather Myron had died around 12 years
ago, so she was used to being alone.  She wasn’t in the habit of talking.

Grandma Edwina finally turned to my aunt, “Sorry to tell you,
but I didn’t feel too badly about Frank; never liked the man.”

My aunt responded, “I know how Frank was.  Some things are
just better left unsaid.”

Walking through Edwina’s house was like entering another
century.  Never mind that Grandma didn’t own a computer.  She didn’t even own a
TV set!  She said she had a television once, but she didn’t like the noise it
made, so she got rid of it.  Said it was “an utter waste of time”.  Grandma’s
only concessions to communication with the outside world were one old dial
telephone and a small radio.

Other than the porch, the best room in her house was the
library.  The high shelves were filled to the ceiling with old books.  It had
this cozy little sitting area with a cushioned window seat overlooking the
garden in the back yard.

Her house was very quiet.  Silence is rather foreign to me
and I’m usually not too comfortable around it.  Being a teenager, I’m addicted
to the mindlessness of lots of noise, media noise, talk noise, any old noise.  After
all, you don’t have to think about things when there’s lots of noise going on.  In
Grandma’s house, other than our occasional comments, all you could hear were
her clocks, tick tock, tick tock, and on the hour, ding, ding, ding.  Imagine hearing
clocks tick!  Somehow, hearing the tiny sounds of clocks tick tock and the hourly
ding, ding made me feel serene.  Surprisingly, I wasn’t missing all that mental
clutter.

Grandma’s father died when she was a little girl.  Her
mother, Theresa (my namesake) decided to turn this place into a rooming house at
that time as a source of income for her and her children.  For that reason, there
were plenty of fully furnished bedrooms.  Granted, they were a little outdated:
creaky high beds, wide oak floors and furniture made of real wood.  What made
them old fashioned was what made them charming.  There were quilts on the beds,
flowery wallpaper and doilies everywhere.  It looked like there was only one
electric plug per room.  That’ll be interesting.  We’ll all share one of those
old fashioned bathrooms with a pedestal sink and a giant claw bathtub. Grandma
did mention that she had a shower put in downstairs in the basement.  That’s a
relief!

Each of us got to pick our own bedroom which was pretty
neat.  I managed to get what I call the Jane Austin room with purple/blue
flowered wallpaper, an ornate side table with an oval mirror and an antique rocking
chair.  Eve got the room with the high canopy bed (and a stool to get up on the
bed!) and real lace curtains.  Annie got Auntie’s old bedroom with an antique
spindle rope bed and one of those big old wooden radios.  My aunt chose a small
room downstairs that used to be Grandpa’s study so she could be near Grandma. 
We unpacked and settled in quickly, as there wasn’t much time to prepare
ourselves.  Real life was coming up on us fast.  We were starting Woodley High
School tomorrow morning.