A Handful of Pebbles (28 page)

‘
It called a
koufetta
,’ Jenny states in her monosyllabic tone. ‘The bittersweet of the almonds represents life itself but we coat them with sugar in hopes that the married life will be sweet. So I guess they give them to guests to pass on some of that sweetness.’

‘
Oh, do you think that is where the word confetti comes from?’ Sarah asks. Jenny shrugs and picks up another couple of bags to hand to the guests behind Sarah. She moves on so as not to be in the way.

A horse and carriage picks Finn and Helena up and the guest
s wander after the carriage along to one end of the waterfront, where waiters in cummerbunds eagerly greet them, and Sarah enters the shiny foyer of a large hotel. This could be anywhere in the world; all Greekness is lost.

The room is as lavish as a setting could be, with linen and flowers competing with the silverware and glass in abundance. A board in the entrance maps out the seating arrangements. As expected
, she has been placed on the top table. It is also inevitable that she has been seated next to Laurence.

Hanging back, Sarah waits for the tables to fill. She uses the time to find that Liz and Neville have been seated by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows. Outside, the sun’s brilliance on the sea is mesmerising. It seems a shame to be indoors; the lunch will go on all afternoon with a dance in the evening. At least Finn and Helena will spend some time in the sunshine. Jim has arranged for them to be flown by helicopter from the reception to a destination of his choosing. No one, not even Finn and Helena, know where they are headed for their honeymoon. Maybe the helicopter will take them to the airport, or maybe to a nearby island. Either way, it is very romantic but right now, Sarah just wants to go outside, sit by the water’s edge, and soak up the sun. Actually be in this country, not in some characterless hotel.

More guest
s are filling the room and discrete music is being channeled through unseen speakers. Finn enters with Helena on his arm. Sarah has never seen Finn so happy. Joss is right behind him; he, too, looks lost in the moment. Laurence is with them, and Joss turns and speaks to him, smiling. Maybe now would be a time to meet Laurence; with all the attention on the newlyweds, it will feel safer. Slipping between tables, she approaches the group to address Helena.

‘
Congratulations, daughter-in-law, or should I call you Mrs Quayle?’ Sarah kisses Helena on both cheeks.

‘
Oh my face hurts from smiling so much.’ Helena squashes her cheeks together with both hands, her bouquet getting in the way.

‘
Oh very attractive,’ Finn teases and leans in and kisses her.

‘
Hello.’ Laurence addresses Sarah, the muscles around his mouth tense.

‘
Hi.’ Sarah replies briefly. ‘Congratulations Finn. No longer my little boy now.’ Helena lets out a chortle.

‘
Always your son, Mum, but husband to Helena first now.’ He kisses Sarah on the cheek and then Helena on the mouth.

‘
As it should be.’ Sarah reaches for Helena’s hand and puts it in Finn’s.

Joss steps forwards and puts his arms around Sarah and pulls her in to him. He is smiling at something Finn said that she missed. Taking
the hand that dangles over her shoulder, she gives it a brief kiss, knowing he will not tolerate any more than that. They all glide to their places and it is only when they are sitting that Laurence hisses, ‘Where were you? I have been worried to death. You are so irresponsible.’

This is it, the moment she must make her stand.

With no lowering of her voice, she says as calmly as she can, ‘Not now, Laurence.’

To her relief
, this one confrontation is enough to keep him silenced during the wedding lunch. He does try to hold her hand as they all file out to see Finn and Helena off to the waiting helicopter. But Sarah shakes free, refusing to lose the last moments with her youngest son.

Then Finn is gone. Joss pats her on the shoulder and walks back inside with her and Pru. Laurence gets separated from them in the crowd. A live band
has set up in one corner of the room and Jim, with his wife, is on the dance floor. He gently sways with her, arm in arm.

Sarah looks around for Liz. She had caught her eye over the dinner
, when Liz had been grinning from ear to ear. They had raised a glass to each other from a distance but now, she must let her know she is going. With relief, she spots Liz being taken onto the dance floor by Neville. Nicolaos is dancing with Frona. The man in the shiny suit is dancing with a thin lady in a low-cut dress who looks pale and fragile. The floor is rapidly filling.

Liz and Neville glide towards her.

‘Look.’ Liz breaks free of Neville’s hold. She needlessly lifts her chin to the ceiling; the necklace and earring are so dazzlingly ostentatious. Liz tosses her hair and looks back at Sarah. ‘And.’ She leans in as if to tell a secret. Sarah smells the whiskey. ‘He doesn’t want a divorce, so his ex is not moving in. Indonesia, here we come!’ She taps her nose to Sarah as Neville pulls her back to dance. He holds her tightly, and round and round they go.

‘
Round and round,’ Sarah says to herself and, seeing Laurence marching her way, she heads off to the cloakroom. Bypassing the front doors, she hurriedly follows a maid pushing a linen truck down a corridor. Sarah leaves the hotel through a service door which comes out between rows and rows of refuse bins. The heat of the sun after the air conditioning is thrilling. Without a glance behind her, she walks slowly to the end of the bins where she can look around the building and see the sea.

With the jumble of thoughts demanding her attention
, it is not easy to enjoy the view. Laurence will be expecting her to drive with him up to Athens tonight, as their flight home is first thing in the morning. Their cottage rental ends this evening, so it would be a good idea to get back and see if Juliet can let her stay on for a day or two whilst she makes arrangements with Jim. She cannot expect to move into the housekeeper’s rooms the day after the wedding. Besides, it would put her in a weak position. If she seems needy, she would have to take whatever terms were offered. If she stays independent, they are more likely to agree to something that was mutually beneficial. She quite likes all the independence. It gives her a feeling of power.

The taxi drops her at the end of the lane. There is no cat to greet her and the walk feels like a bit of a dream as the momentousness of what she is doing begins to become a reality.

Juliet is not on the patio, but the door is open. Sarah steps in and calls her name. There is no answer.
Surely she wouldn’t leave it open and go out.
A noise from the garden takes her around the side of the house to find Juliet lying on her back on the curved bench around the twisted old olive tree. It doesn’t look all that comfortable.

‘
Are you off?’ Juliet pushes herself to sitting and puts a olive leaf in her book as a mark.

‘
Actually, that’s what I wanted a word about.’ Sarah begins. ‘Do you have new people coming tomorrow?’ She intertwines her fingers in front of her.

‘
No the day after. Everything okay?’ Juliet stands and stretches. ‘Was the wedding beautiful?’

‘
Oh it was amazing.’ Her fingers unlock, her arms relax. ‘Helena looked stunning. Jim, that’s her father, has flown them off to a surprise honeymoon. The whole thing was so romantic.’

‘
Oh lovely. So now it’s your turn to go.’ She looks Sarah up and down, frowns briefly before sitting down again and nodding to the seat next to her. For no reason whatsoever, Sarah feels on the edge of tears, but considering what she is about to do, maybe it is not surprising. It is bound to all feel stressful until she finds her feet.

‘
I was just wondering, if it is not too much trouble, if I may keep the cottage on for the night.’ The cat slides round the corner of the house and approaches them purring, flopping onto its side before it reaches them.

‘
Sure, why not. Everything okay? Your flight still running?’ Juliet asks.

‘
No, yes, the flight’s fine.’ She straightens her back. ‘Well, I suppose you might as well be the first to know
I
am not going home.’ She stresses the
I
and looks Juliet straight in the eye as she does so.

Juliet does not move, nor does she say anything. They sit for what feels like
minutes until Juliet says very quietly, ‘Are you sure?’

Sarah nods. The image of the green car with Laurence
’s head turned away flashes through her mind. She is absolutely sure.

‘
Well, of course you can stay tonight, but after that, I am afraid it is booked. Have you any plans? Where will you go?’ Juliet sounds cautious.

‘
Just tonight is fine.’ Actually, just the one night should be enough, and there is always the hotel in Saros. ‘I have been offered a job. One night, should all work out just perfectly.’

‘
A job, how exciting.’ Juliet’s moment of caution is gone. She springs into excitement.

‘
Yes, just up the road.’

‘
Is it permanent or just for the summer?’ Juliet leans her back against the twisted bark.

‘
Permanent. You know, I think I might just go and take a shower and change. I kind of made a night of it last night and some clean clothes would be very welcome.’

‘
Oh sure, sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you back. Besides, if you are just up the road, there will be loads of time to chat.’ With which Juliet stands, Sarah follows suit, and, after both of them pause to watch a swallow dive for water over the pool, Juliet picks up her book and heads to her house and Sarah heads to the cottage.

The cottage is
, of course, locked.

‘
Oh for goodness sake.’ Sarah flops onto one of the chairs around the patio table. She would rather have showered and maybe even have gone out when Laurence returns. She must face him today, but does she want to do it in the cottage? Maybe meeting somewhere else would be best, somewhere public. She could also do with more sleep. Leaning over the table, she puts her head on her arms. An upturned dish is in the way and, as she moves it to one side, it suddenly occurs to her why it is there.

The key for the cottage is under the dish. Just the sort of thing of which Laurence would think. She hadn
’t come home, he didn’t know where she was, he went out to Neville’s maybe or straight to the wedding, so he left her a key in case she came back. ‘So responsible and predictable, Laurence,’ she tells her absent husband.

Lying in the bath
, Sarah watches the afternoon light turn to early evening, a pinkish hue. The fig tree through the window looks beautiful. She can see the beauty and feel it; the world is a wonderful place. Dipping beneath the water and opening her eyes, the blue ceiling ripples. Her adventure is about to begin. If she stays calm with Laurence, it could just be a very adult conversation, reasonable.

Pulling herself out of the water and wrapping a towel around her
, she pads to the bedroom. Whilst she dresses, she hears the car on the lane.

Without hesitation
, she strides from the bedroom to the sitting room, pulling up zips and tucking in as she goes, and sits neatly on the sofa and waits.

The engine stops but the cooling fan of the car keeps humming. The gate clangs shut. The kitchen door opens.

He stands in the sitting room doorway, twisting the car keys between his fingers, looking at her. Waiting.

Sarah tries to slow her breathing, consciously relaxing her limbs. The prickling heat starts on her neck
; she can feel it rising to her cheeks. She expected to feel nervous, to feel a little fearful even, but all she feels is anger. Raw anger.

‘
Well?’ Laurence hisses.

‘
Laurence, there is no easy way to say this, so I am just going to say it. I am not going back with you. I am staying here.’ The relief is enormous and her hands un-interlock and her elbows relax from digging into her sides.

‘
Don’t be so ridiculous. Are you packed? I suggest we leave in about an hour.’

‘
If you don’t like what I have to say, fine. Don’t listen. But I won’t be coming with you.’ Sarah doesn’t move. Her fingers find each other again and her arms re-pin themselves to her sides. She remains silent.

Laurence is winding up his laptop charger. After gathering all his things from the sitting room
, he disappears into the bathroom and comes back out minutes later with a bulging ablutions bag.

‘
Come on,’ he snaps as he passes her on his way to the bedroom.

How much clear
er can she be? She doesn’t move; she waits.

Laurence returns for the bedroom and stares at her.
‘Okay, we haven’t really got time, but what’s this all about.’ He sits on the chair opposite.

Stay calm.

‘I am staying. You are going. I cannot make it any clearer.’ Sarah realises that he probably won’t send on her mother’s wedding ring or her grandma’s Psalm book. Maybe she can phone Mrs McGee and ask her to send them.

‘
Okay Sarah, look. Everyone feels like that at the end of a holiday; it’s just the way it is. No one wants to go home. If they did, what sort of holiday would that be? I see it all the time: they fly out laughing and fly back silently. It is the nature of the beast. Come on or we are going to have to navigate Athens in the dark.’ He stands. Sarah remains sitting. One of Laurence’s legs begins to jiggle, a muscle in his cheek begins to twitch, his hand in his pocket agitates the coins that are there. ‘Come on.’ This time, his words are firm. He is holding back.