A Healing Heart (13 page)

My voice strained, trying to find the right words. “No, I’m okay. It’s just my dad used to always say that to me. He’d tap me on my nose and ask me that question. It was always a little joke between us. I haven’t heard anyone say that for a long time.”

Collin wrapped me tightly in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Bailey, I didn’t know.”

“
I know. It’s okay, really. I’m fine. I was actually thinking of how this all feels like a dream for me. I’ve lived under a constant nightmare for so long, it’s hard for me to really believe things could be right again. Almost every night since the accident, I relive it in the nightmares, many times being woken up by my own screams. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been able to sleep through the entire night, completely nightmare free. I can’t tell you how amazing that is for me.”

“
You’ve had nightmares every night for the past two years?”

“
Yeah, pretty much.”

“
And now they’re gone?”

“
Yes, because of you.” Reaching up, I ran my fingers along the side of his face and down his cheeks. Our eyes locked, his blue eyes dark as the night; I felt like he could see into my soul. His arms tightened around me and pulled me closer to him; gently he touched his lips to mine. The electric jolt I always felt when we kissed pulsed through my body. My hands moved up behind his head, my fingers running through his thick hair. Slightly pulling back, he still kept me close, our faces just inches from each other, our noses touching, so slightly, so gently.

“
I’m glad I could help chase away your nightmares.”

“
Me too.”

“
It’s getting late, we should probably get back.”

“
Yeah, you’re probably right, but I wish we could stay here, just like this, forever.”

* * *

We walked back to the car loaded down with our bags and chairs. As we got closer, I could tell Savannah was maneuvering to get the front seat again. I vowed that she would be the one that ended up in the backseat on the way home. Dumping everything in the hatch, I was able to reach the passenger door first.

“
Here, Savannah, go ahead and get in back. I’ll hold the seat up for you.”

Her eyes glinted with anger, which she quickly tried to hide, but it confirmed my fear that she could be potentially dangerous. Without a doubt, I knew that my instincts were correct and that I needed to watch her carefully.

Her voice was strained as she tried to sound normal. “Thanks, Bailey. I guess it’s only fair that we trade off.”

Smiling to myself, I knew it was petty, but one small victory felt good. I slid the seat back after she had climbed in and settled into the front seat with plenty of legroom.

The ride home was mostly quiet. It was late, and we were all tired from the day in the sand and sun. My hand lay interlocked with Collin’s on the console most of the way home.

“
I’m going to drop you off first, Savannah, then I’ll take Bailey home.”

“
Oh. Isn’t that kind of a waste of gas, though?”

“
It’s no big deal. The front door should be open for you. I’ll be back in a bit.”

The car stopped in front of Collin’s house, and I opened the door and stepped out, allowing the front seat to slide forward so that Savannah could extract herself out of the tiny backseat. As she gracefully exited the car, our eyes caught. Her deep chocolate brown eyes were hard and cold, and hostility was plain in them. The battle lines had been drawn, and we both knew it.

“
Goodnight, Savannah, it was great meeting you.” The lie stuck in my throat.

“
You, too Bailey. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” Her voice was icy.

She turned and walked up the sidewalk with her bag, and I got back into the warmth of the car and to the boy that had stolen my heart.

~
Savannah
~

I had the urge to stomp all the way into the house. Fury blinded me; Bailey had no idea what she was up against. She might have the upper hand right now, but Collin was not something I had any intentions of losing. As I sat in that backseat all the way home, having to stare at their hands together on the console made me sick.

Earlier in the day I had seen Collin kissing Bailey, and it had made me crazy. Collin should be kissing me, not that twit. I didn’t have very much time, and before long my family would be headed home, back to Las Vegas, hours away. I needed to get the ball rolling quick. Drastic times called for drastic measures. I just had to figure out what the best approach was going to be.

CHAPTER EIGHT

~
Bailey
~

T
he
rest of the week was uneventful and seemed to fly by. I just had to make it through two more days until Savannah’s family left town. That day couldn’t come soon enough for me.

I rushed to finish getting ready, since I was supposed to be over at Eileen’s in less than twenty minutes. It was taking me a while to get used to actually sleeping in the morning, and many times now, I had overslept my alarm. It was so good, feeling rested and alive. I felt like I was ready to take on the world again. The haziness of the past two years was quickly fading, as if I had finally left the shadow and moved into the sunlight, able to feel the warmth of life as it moved around me.

After grabbing the clothes I planned to wear that night on my date with Collin, I tossed them on the bed as I walked out the door. Time would be short after I was done baby-sitting Riley, and I would only have a few minutes to get ready before Collin would be there to pick me up. As I walked out of my room, I sent a text to him:

Good morning sweetheart :) have a great day I’ll c u later

hey sweetie have fun with Riley text me when u r done and I’ll come pick u up

Rushing down the stairs, I practically flattened my aunt as she was coming up.

“
Sorry! I’m late for baby-sitting! I’ll see you later.”

“
It’s okay. Hey, Bailey.”

Halting at the bottom stair, I turned to look back up at my aunt.

“
Yeah?”

“
It’s good to have you back. I mean, really back. The shadows are gone from under your eyes, and you seem like yourself again. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me.”

Feeling the tears welling in my eyes, I took the couple of steps back up to my aunt and gave her a hug. Her face, so much like my mom’s, yet different, had been a constant reminder of what I’d lost. At first that resemblance had been difficult for me, but I knew I’d never have been able to survive without her gentle care and unconditional love.

“
Thanks, Aunt Rachelle. I love you, and thank you for being here for me.”

Squeezing me harder, she whispered so softly, I could barely hear it: “I love you too.” As I turned away, I could see a tear as it slid down her cheek.

~
Savannah
~

I walked through the McKenna house and noticed Collin’s cell phone charging on the counter. I knew no one was around, and I stepped carefully to it, listening for anyone approaching. Picking up the phone, I saw the text from Bailey. With only two nights left here, I was determined not to lose another night where Collin was out with Bailey. Glancing around to make sure I was still alone, I quickly sent a text to Bailey.

change in plans, not sure when I’ll be free. I’ll text u later

I didn’t have to wait long until a message came back. I smiled as I read the reply:

ok just let me know

I deleted the last two texts and unplugged the charger from the wall, leaving the cord attached to the phone. Walking quickly away, I felt amazingly better.

~
Collin
~

I was sitting on the front porch swing with Savannah; we had been hanging out most of the day talking about old times. It was a nice change of pace. I’d always had a connection with Savannah, but for me it was just friendship. My mind drifted to some of the things Bailey had mentioned that day at the beach about Savannah wanting more than friendship from me. I was sure Bailey was just reading into things. Looking at Savannah, all I could see was my childhood friend, someone who was like a sister to me. Savannah would never be more than a friend; my heart belonged to another.

My mind was never far from Bailey, and I wondered why she hadn’t texted me yet, but I brushed it off. I was sure Eileen must have been running late, but even then Bailey usually would let me know; this just wasn’t like her. Absently, I felt Savannah’s arm brush against mine. Her touch didn’t scorch me like Bailey’s did. I could feel my phone in my pocket and willed it to ring or signal a text.

I tried to focus on the story that Savannah was retelling. It was another one of our crazy adventures when we’d been kids. I had totally forgotten about this particular escapade. I laughed as I sifted details from my memory; we were always getting into some sort of trouble. I looked over at Savannah, and something in her gaze made me uneasy. In that instant, I felt that Bailey just might be right. There was a different sparkle in Savannah’s eyes I’d never noticed before. Her cheeks were flushed a slight pink, and she had moved closer to me. I was usually more aware of girls’ reactions, and I was kicking myself for not picking up on this sooner. I hadn’t been paying enough attention, and now I realized Savannah’s face was just inches from mine. She put her hand on my cheek and leaned in closer, her lips brushing mine. The kiss stirred no feeling in me; it was like I was kissing my sister. As I was pushing her away, I caught movement in the corner of my eye that made my heart sink.

~
Bailey
~

Pacing my room, I wondered why Collin wasn’t returning my texts or calls. I had been home for over two hours now. Now that I thought about it, after this morning’s texts, I hadn’t heard from Collin all day. Since I’d been busy baby-sitting Riley, it wasn’t unusual not to hear from him, but having him not return my calls or texts though was just weird. Picking up my phone, I dialed his number, but again it went to voice mail. Hanging up, I tossed the phone back onto the bed. I had already left two messages. A sickening fear washed through me and my heart started to beat faster. He could be hurt, or he could be with Savannah. Both of those options made me violently ill. It felt like my stomach had just shot up to my throat. I couldn’t stay here any longer waiting, wondering. I grabbed my keys off the desk and decided I was going over to Collin’s house.

The short drive seemed to take ages. My mind flipped through so many scenarios; none of them were good, and my imagination was running wild now. I pulled my car up to the curb, and there on the front porch swing were Collin and Savannah, sitting far too close for my comfort. Immediately the anger, the feeling of betrayal, burned inside of me My heart was beating so fast it felt like it would explode out of my chest. I sat there for a minute trying to understand how Collin could do this to me. Before I really knew what I was going to do, I was striding up the sidewalk, my anger stronger with every footstep. They seemed oblivious to my approach; Collin’s back was to me, so he didn’t see me. I reached the front yard just as they kissed. I could feel my arms shaking with a violence I had never felt before. I wanted to rip Savannah into tiny pieces.

“
Sorry to interrupt. Guess if you’d had the decency to return my phone calls or texts I wouldn’t be here to bother you,” I spit out, the anger and hurt boiling inside of me.

Collin turned quickly toward me, shock evident on his face. He got up from the swing and was headed in my direction fast. “Bailey, wait. What are you talking about?”

“
I’ve been home for over two hours waiting for you. I’ve called, I’ve texted, and you never responded.”

“
I never got any phone calls or texts.”

“
Yeah, whatever. I’ve seen enough. I’m not stupid. Go back to Savannah.” The words ripped from me with raw anguish. I turned quickly and started running back to my car, the tears already burning my eyes.

Reaching the safety of my car, I jumped in and quickly drove away, tears now flooding down my face. Collin was just a blurry image on the sidewalk as I sped away. Sobs were racking my body, and I tried to calm them, brushing the tears aside so I could see out the front windshield. Trying to focus on the road, I drove through the streets not knowing where I was going, only that I wasn’t going home. I needed to regroup, to think.

All that kept running through my head was why? Why would he lie about his feelings for Savannah? He should have just told me. It would have been hard and hurt badly, but at least it would have been honest. But the dragging it on, telling me that I was the only one, that he was falling for me, that’s what hurt me to the core.

Before I realized where I was going, I found myself at our special lookout. I pulled over and just sat there, my hands still gripping the steering wheel. I bent over and rested my head against the cold hard plastic between my hands. The tears were flowing unstoppable now.

I don’t know how long I sat there, my chest and my stomach aching from the crying. The haziness of the past two years was rapidly surrounding me. I could feel the numbness returning. How could I have been so dumb? Savannah and Collin had history, a lot of history, and she was so beautiful. Why wouldn’t he want her? It only made sense. I would never be able to compare to her. I stared out the front window of my car; some far corner of my brain noticed the breeze picking up outside. My thoughts drifted back to the many times I had been here with Collin: our first kiss; the shooting star; sharing our pasts, our fears, what we hoped our futures would bring. The memories only fueled a fresh round of tears.