A Hero's Heart (20 page)

Reaching the wagon, Wade set her on the ground and pulled her into his arms. “Are you sure this is what you want, Rachel?”

A flutter of fear and eagerness rippled through her. She smiled at the uncertainty in his eyes before turning to climb up into the wagon. Though she appeared calm on the outside, inside she was shaking harder than a baby’s rattle.

Glancing back over her shoulder, she said, “Come to bed, Wade.”

Without another word, he hastened to follow her. Feeling awkward, she glanced at the pallet they had often shared. This was what she wanted, what she had waited for all her life. Tomorrow would be soon enough to think about regrets.

With the strike of a match, he lit the lantern. Its warm glow filled the narrow confines. Rachel drew the pucker strings of the canvas tight, enclosing them in a sensuous cocoon.

She turned slowly to face Wade. In the tight quarters, he sat upon a cedar chest, his face anxious in the dim light. Gently, he pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling the need to support her shaky legs.

Brushing away the curls that lay on her neck, Wade blazed at path from her shoulder with warm lips. He traced the outline of her ear with his tongue as his hands pulled the few pins from her hair, releasing it.

Threading his fingers through her tresses, he whispered, “You hair is so soft.”

Rubbing his cheek against her curls, Wade sought her earlobe with his lips. Rachel squirmed from the tingly sensations his tongue provoked. The experience wasn’t unpleasant, more like a tease, sending delicious shivers down her spine.

His warm lips trailed soft butterfly kisses

across her cheek, to her lips. There he kissed her softly, his fingers threading themselves through her hair. As he hugged her closer, his lips turned from soft and gentle to strong and demanding, taking her by surprise.

Carried along in his ardor, she ran her fingers through his hair, pressing his head closer to her, wanting more of him, meeting his response with her own urgent need.

His kiss made her hungry for more, aching with the need to be closer to him. Awkward and unsure, but curious at the sensations building within her, Rachel longed to touch him in intimate places, to feel his naked skin, beneath her hands. As yearning stirred between her legs, her awareness increased of a hard pressure against her thighs.

With a gentle stroke, his hand touched her breast, caressing her through her clothes. The urge to arch her back, give him easier access to her flesh, overwhelmed her, yet the need to feel his hand on her naked breast surprised her.

With one hand, she tried to unbutton his shirt, but the button refused to budge. She wrestled with the little disk until finally she tugged, sending the piece of wood flying across the wagon. The clatter against wood, shocked her. Who was this wanton woman driven to rip open his shirt, explore his flesh?

“Rachel!” he groaned against her lips.

“I’m sorry about your button,” she whispered, her voice husky in the darkness.

“Forget the damn shirt,” he rasped, grappling with the rest of the buttons and shrugging the unwanted garment from his body.

“Touch me,” he pleaded.

She ran her hands across his chest, feeling his nakedness beneath her fingertips. Muscles, hard and firm, warm and silky, flexed at her touch.

Wade reached back and, with both hands, began the tedious task of unbuttoning her dress. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the dress slide from her shoulders the cool night air caressing her skin.

“Turn out the lantern,” she said her voice shaky.

“Only because of the shadows,” Wade replied as he extinguished the light. “I long to see every naked inch of you.”

He pushed the dress down and over her hips until it landed in a puddle at her feet. She continued to sit on his lap, clad only her chemise and stocking feet, her cheeks hot in the darkness.

Lifting her in his arms, he laid her on the pallet occupying the floor of the wagon, then returned to sit on the chest. In the darkened wagon, she watched as he bent to remove his boots, the muscles in his back stretched taut.

When his hands reached for the waistband of his pants, Rachel’s breathing almost stopped, yet she refused to look away.

She wanted to see all of Wade.

In one fluid motion, he pushed his pants down, kicking them away. In the darkness, his manhood stood at attention, erect and proud, sending a shiver of anticipation through Rachel.

Kneeling down on the pallet beside her, his skin glowed in the shadowy moonlight. With his fingertips, he caressed the length of each leg as he removed her stockings, leaving behind a tingling trail of sensation.

Reaching behind her, he clasped the strings of her chemise and untied the bow. Fear made her heart pound in her chest, but love soothed the anxious feelings and turned them into desire. The need to touch him intensified as she ran her fingers lightly across his face and lips.

He kissed her fingertips before raising her up to a sitting position. Slowly, he removed her chemise, leaving her totally naked and exposed to his gaze. Though inside she cringed with apprehension, she refused to cower as he looked upon her.

“Oh, God, Rachel. You’re more beautiful than I dreamed,” he said, his voice husky.

The heat from his gaze made her ache Rachel ache with need. She wanted him next to her, wanted to feel his naked skin against her, wanted him to kiss her until she couldn’t breathe.

Wade bent over her breast, closing his mouth around her nipple. She clenched her fists in his hair to keep from moaning out aloud as he lovingly kissed each breast.

The sensations flowing through her were totally foreign and all Rachel knew was she never wanted him to stop. His hand touched the moist, tender spot between her thighs.

She arched her back, crying out loud with need. “Wade!”

“It’s okay, sweetness,” he reassured her. “You’re supposed to feel this way.”

No one had told her that making love would be so wonderful. She wanted more, she wanted to feel all of him. She couldn’t resist touching him as he slid over her skin. Gently, she raked her fingernails over his back, pulling him ever closer to her.

Moist with the honey of her arousal, his fingers continued to evoke delicious feelings while his mouth finally found its way to hers. She attacked his lips, needing the feel of him deep inside her.

He positioned himself over her, his knee gently spreading her legs. There was a brief moment of anxiety as he placed his manhood between her thighs.

She tensed for just a second, but he kissed her, until she was so caught up that the pain of his entry caught her off guard.

As he eased his way into her body, she cried out.

“Easy sweetheart. The pain will soon be over,” he whispered against her temple as he lay still within her.

What seemed like minutes passed as he murmured softly to her. Finally, she felt him move within her. The pleasure soon began to rebuild, surprising her.

His lips surrounded hers, kissing her until she felt she would suffocate with joy.

An incredible urge to rock him to her made her hips fall into a natural rhythm. He plunged within her, each thrust creating new sensations, all centered in the increasing heat between her thighs.

To Rachel it seemed her body was climbing, reaching, for some unknown destination, building and gathering every feeling in the center of her being. When she thought she couldn’t take any more, her world exploded in a shattering release.

Spiraling back to Earth, she cried out his name, just as he, too, exploded within her.

She lay still, her pulse pounding in her ears, her heart swelling with love. The wonder of the moment left her feeling whole, complete and more than a little languorous.

Wade’s head lay against her shoulder, his body pressed into hers as his heartbeat slowed and his breathing returned to normal. Rachel ran her hand down the sleek power of his back, loving the feel of him within her. For several minutes, they lay quietly, savoring the moment.

Finally, she asked, “Is it always like this?”

Wade raised up on one elbow, his eyes glowing like green embers in the faint light. He brushed back a lock hair that lay against her cheek. “No. Next time it’ll be better?”

Rachel snuggled closer. “How can it get any better?”

Wade laughed and kissed her softly. “The first time is usually painful for a woman. It shouldn’t feel that way again.”

“I wasn’t thinking about the pain,” she replied. “I was considering the way you made me feel. Is it always so intense?”

Wade smiled. “Only when it’s good, Rachel.”

* * *

In the hours before dawn, Wade awoke to the sounds of the camp beginning to stir. His arm was wrapped around Rachel, her naked body tucked up against him. Holding her revived the joy of making love far into the night, each giving and receiving.

The preacher’s daughter had taken him to heights of pleasure, he’d never before experienced. She’d loved him like a wildcat and now she lay curled in his arms, sleeping like a kitten.

Last night, they had teased and flirted about curing his craving, but the morning light found him more in love with her than the night before. This craving was definitely not cured. One sweet sip of her nectar would never be enough.

But to continually drink from the well, would soon find him addicted to the water. And though he loved Rachel with all his heart, he could never tell her.

Speaking the words out loud would only make them permanent, and they had could never last. Rachel deserved a far better man than he was, a man who could provide a home and family for her.

But what a price to pay. To give up the woman who had finally captured his heart.

If he made her his wife, one day she would wake up and realize he could never be the man she wanted. Then she would hate him for not walking away.

Hell, she was going to hate him regardless. No matter what she’d said last night, this morning, she would expect declarations of love. A proposal of marriage. Something he could never offer if he wanted to see her happy.

So what did he do now? The night was over, and the morning sun would soon welcome the day, along with the consequences of their actions last night.

He ran his hand down her arm, across her breasts and stomach to her hip. Satin-smooth skin against his rough fingers, invited further exploration. Even this morning, his body’s reaction was swift and sure as she snuggled closer to him, her bottom rubbing against his manhood. Last night had not cured anything. In fact, his feelings were more complicated now than ever before. In the darkness, Wade eased up off the pallet and found his clothes. Long before dawn he left camp, his heart aching with the pain of his decision.

* * *

Dear Diary,

Last night changed everything. Two months ago I hated Wade Ketchum. But now, more than anything, I want to be his wife. For the first time in my life, I’m in love. This is not the infatuation I felt for Ethan. This much, much stronger.

Even though we’re not truly married, I feel as though we are man and wife. So much so that I became his wife in the truest sense last night. I had never imagined how it could be between a man and a woman. No one told me of the joy I would feel.

Rachel closed the diary and blew out the lantern. She had awakened before the first glint of daylight to an empty wagon. Wade had already left to take care of the stock, though his scent clung to his pillow. She picked up the cushion and hugged it to her, wishing Wade had lingered in the wagon.

Her skin tingled with the memory of the love they’d shared through the night. Never before had she felt so alive, so much in love. The need to see Wade, hug him to her, sent her scurrying out of bed into the cool dawn air.

Though her body was tender in places, her heart was overflowing with happiness. She dressed quickly eager to find him, eager to share this morning—and the rest of her life—with Wade.

As she stepped out of the wagon, a soggy mist slapped her like a wet sponge. The dew-wet grass soaked the hem of her skirt, but Rachel vowed nothing could dampen her spirits.

She stroked the fire, hoping to break the chill as the sun began to lighten the eastern sky with the promise of a new day. Like a giddy young girl, she waited for Wade.

When she could to tarry no longer, she started breakfast, expecting him to walk into camp at any moment. The children returned from Mary’s expecting to be fed just like on any other morning. Afterward Rachel was the dishes and packed the tent.

Still no sign of Wade.

Giddiness turned to disappointment, as she hitched the oxen to the wagon. Most mornings, he was back before breakfast. Most mornings, he was underfoot. But this morning, the dawn of their new love, he was nowhere to be found.

Rachel tightened the cinch on the harness to the oxen. The doubts she’d pushed away last night, returned with a vengeance. Last night, he’d never said he loved her. He’d never promised marriage.

Had she imagined the way his eyes glowed when he looked at her, the way his body had responded to her touch? Or could it be he was having second thoughts about making love to her?