A Hero's Heart (21 page)

Everything was loaded into the wagon: the kids, the cooking utensils, the tent. Other wagons were beginning to pull out, getting a head start. She couldn’t wait any longer. It was time to put last night behind her and face the reality of the new day.

She swallowed the lump that seemed lodged in her throat. Disappointment turned into fear.

Rachel climbed up into the wagon. Maybe it was better this way. Had she misread his feelings from the night before? Had it not been a meaningful experience for him?

She grabbed the reins, yelling at the oxen, “Move!”

Chapter Thirteen

S
lumped in the saddle, Wade reluctantly rode into camp as the sun slipped low in the sky. A cook breeze grazed his cheeks, and he knew it wouldn’t be the only cool reception he’d receive.

This morning, the sight of Rachel’s hair sprawling across his naked chest, the feel of his buttocks snug against his groin, had sent him fleeing from the wagon. He had deliberately stayed away all day, trying to sort out his feelings for Rachel.

His thoughts had swirled like a whirlwind, never reaching an end, always coming back to the face he loved. But the facts didn’t change. He was a gambler who had a brother to find, and she was a lady.

A sigh escaped him, and he clenched his fists, knowing she was going to hate him for making love to her and never proposing marriage, hate him for walking away when all he wanted to do was stay.

All day, he’d tried to drive the lust from his body by pushing himself to the extreme, though all he’d wanted to do was crawl back into Rachel’s bed.

Toby came bounding toward him, grabbing Sadie’s reins. “Hey, Wade. Where you been?”

“Hunting,” Wade replied. It wasn’t totally honest, but it wasn’t a lie, either.

“Rachel’s been acting kind of funny today,” Toby said. “Did you two fight?”

“I wouldn’t worry, Toby.” Wade swung his leg over his horse. Handing the reins to the boy, he tipped back his hat and swiped his brow with the back of his hand. “I’ll check on her.”

“Thanks, Wade.”

That morning, part of Wade had wanted to ride away and never look back, but he’d known he couldn’t do that to Rachel and the children. Yet he doubted his ability to keep his hands off her for the next six weeks.

Only one part of his anatomy had been doing the thinking last night, and unfortunately, it wasn’t the smartest part. Only an ignorant fool would have let things go so far. Tonight, he knew he couldn’t let it happen again.

Supper sizzled on the fire, filling the camp with a welcome aroma, while Grace and Daniel chased each other around the tent. Their exuberant squeals were strangely soothing as he watched their childish play.

A dainty slippered foot peeped out of the tent, followed by the rest of Becky, dressed as if she were off to afternoon tea. Daniel’s little legs came toddling at full speed around the tent and plowed straight into Becky’s peach cotton skirt. He wrapped his grimy hands into the folds of the clean material.

“Don’t touch me!” she shrieked as she jerked the tot’s fingers from her skirt. Daniel gazed up, his big brown eyes questioning. With a firm grip, she held him at arm’s length, away from her clothing. Twisting his body, he kicked out at her until, exasperated, he stuck his tongue out and blew, the sound echoing Wade’s opinion.

“Grace!” Becky demanded. “Get this kid away from me.”

“Come on, Daniel,” Grace called, drawing the toddler away from Becky. “Let’s go play somewhere else.”

Wade inhaled a deep breath, trying to control the surge of anger Becky always seemed to provoke. “Where’s Rachel?”

“She’s in the wagon,” Becky replied with barely a glance.

“Take the children and follow Toby to the river to feed and water the horses.”

“I don’t have time,” she replied, turning away.

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you,” Wade called after her, not in any mood to argue.

She glanced back at him. “I have plans.”

“Your plans just got delayed. Stay with the children by the river.”

The look she gave Wade should have singed the whiskers off his face. She stared, as if trying to decide whether to give up or continue her argument. Finally, she emitted a loud groan before she grabbed Grace by the arm. “Get Daniel and let’s go.”

Wade watched the little procession head, down the path after Toby. Grace turned and looked back at him as if he were punishing her. Daniel’s little legs ran to keep up. Wade’s heart wrenched at the sight, and he realized leaving them behind would be almost as bad as walking away from Rachel.

But nothing could hurt as much as relinquishing Rachel.

His boots seemed filled with sand as his stride slowed on the final steps to the wagon. He dreaded this first meeting.

The wagon creaked, and Wade watched Rachel crawl over the seat, her back to him. She stepped down onto the wheel, and he reached up to catch her at the waist. The feel of her reminded him of the night before.

She stiffened at his touch. “You’re back.”

As her feet touched the ground, she whirled around to face him. Her eyes were red-rimmed as if she’d been crying.

“Where have you been all day?”

“Where I am every day, scouting the trail.”

She looked at him as if she wanted to wrap her hands around his throat and strangle him. “I missed you at breakfast.”

“Too busy. Had to take care of the animals.”

He couldn’t tell her the tender touch of her slender thighs against his this morning had sent him running. But, dear God, the sight of her now made him want her back in his arms tonight, holding her close for whatever time they had left.

“Supper should be ready in a little while,” she coldly replied as she turned and walked to the fire.

“Thanks. I’ve got to talk to Frank. I’ll be back soon.”

The woman wasn’t ignorant; she knew something was wrong. Somehow her easy acceptance didn’t bring the relief he thought he’d feel. It only made him ache worse.

* * *

The fire sizzled as drippings from the roasting rabbit drizzled onto the coals. Kneeling, Rachel turned the meat on the skewer. She couldn’t help but commiserate with the poor rabbit. The morning had left her feeling naked and exposed, while the warm sun had broiled her raw emotions at a slow cook all day.

Brushing back a stray lock of hair, she rose from the head of the fire and, like a limp rag, collapsed into the rocker.

Wade had gone to visit Frank. The children and Becky were down at the river. Being alone was a rare luxury, and for a moment, she leaned her head back and let the peace wash over her.

When he returned this evening, Wade has been as warm as a snowflake on a frostbitten day. The warm lover of last night had disappeared with the dawn, and now, her dreams were evaporating into thin air. She had gambled her heart and virtue. And the gambler had taken his winnings and left the table.

The sounds of footsteps interrupted her peaceful moment. Rachel opened her eyes to see Toby hurrying toward her, a worried frown upon his face.

“Rachel, I can’t find Grace,” he cried. “We were all down by the river. She just disappeared. I’ve looked everywhere.”

“Where’s Daniel?”

“I left him with Mary,” Toby replied.

“Good. Grace has to be nearby,” Rachel stood up from the rocker. “What were you doing down at the river.”

Toby pulled Rachel toward the tree-lined riverbank. “I was watering Wade’s horses.”

The river’s noisy splashing over rocks sped her feet toward the water. “Is Becky searching for Grace?”

“Uh—I don’t know where she is. She left me to watch the kids,” Toby said as he followed her.

“What was so important that she left you with two little children on a riverbank?” Fear sharpened Rachel’s voice.

Toby glanced away. “I don’t know. She didn’t say.”

The river stretched ahead, the water rushing past. She couldn’t think about Becky when Grace needed her full attention.

“Where did you last see Grace?” Rachel fought to keep the fear from her voice. Surely, Grace couldn’t have wandered far.

“She and Daniel were playing down by the water. I tried to watch them, but the horses needed a rubdown. Last I saw, she was picking flowers near the bank; then she was gone.

“Are you sure she didn’t fall in?” Rachel asked, her heart almost stopping at the thought.

Toby’s eyes grew large with fright. “I didn’t hear a splash or a scream.” His shoulders started to shake as tears welled up in his eyes. “I called and called. I ran up the river, all the way to where it curves into the canyon.”

Rachel gave him a comforting pat as she tried to rein in her building panic.

“Grace,” she called, her voice echoing from the canyon.

The wind whistled through the thick pines, making them rustle, while the river rushed over rocks and around the bend. The echo died into a lonely silence with no response. Her heart pounded in double time as Rachel realized there were many places a child could get lost or hurt.

“Wade will find her,” she said in a shaky voice. “Come on, Toby, let’s get him.”

Picking up her long skirt, Rachel ran to Frank’s wagon.

“Wade!” she cried as she rushed into camp.

Long seconds passed before Wade ran around the back of the wagon, a frown darkening his green eyes. “What’s wrong?”

She ran to him, her breathing painful. “Grace is missing.”

“When did she disappear?” he asked, dropping the shaving tool beside Frank’s broken wagon wheel.

“About ten minutes ago, down by the river.”

Toby ran up beside her. “I turned my back on her for one second, and she just disappeared.”

“I sent Becky down there with you kids. Where in the hell was she?” Wade demanded.

Toby swallowed, his face a brilliant red. “She left.”

“Damn!” Wade swore. “I’m going to—”

“Wade,” Rachel pleaded. “Not now, we have to find Grace.”

“You’re right. It’ll be dark soon.”

Wade turned, his quick stride carrying him around the back of Frank’s wagon. The two of them returned at once.

“You go ahead. I’ll call the men together. We should find her before dark,” Frank reassured Rachel. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Ketchum. She’ll be okay.”

“Thank you, Frank,” Rachel said, fear shaking her voice.

“Toby, saddle Sadie and bring her to me.”

The boy scurried off, eager to do Wade’s bidding.

Wade pulled Rachel toward their wagon. “When Toby gets back, I want the two of you to search along the river. Maybe by the time you search there, the men will be ready to check farther downstream. But I’m not waiting, I’m heading out now.”

“Do you think she fell in?” Her heart’s wild action squeezed air from her lungs.

He looked over her head. “It’s possible.”

If Grace had fallen into the river, the swift current would have quickly carried her away. A small child wouldn’t last long battling the strong river.

Toby rode atop Sade. He jumped out of the saddle, handing the reins to Wade. Rachel stared. Two months ago, Toby couldn’t saddle, let alone ride, a horse.

Wade put his foot in the stirrup and pulled himself into the saddle. He looked down at Toby and Rachel. “We’ll meet back here after dark unless we find her earlier. I don’t want you to wander from camp. Search for her in this area only.” He leaned over the saddle, and squeezed Rachel’s hand. “Try not to worry. We’ll find her.” Wade rode away toward the canyon.

“Come on, Toby. Let’s get started. You walk along the shore of the river, and I’ll climb up to the top of the hill and look along the ridge. Yell if you find her.”

“Rachel?” Toby studied his feet. “When Becky left I should have brought the kids back to camp. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right, Toby. Let’s just find Grace, then we’ll deal with Becky. Grace is probably huddled out of sight, playing with her dolls, forgetful of the time.”

Rachel prayed they would find Grace, hidden by the trees or the rocks, playing a practical joke, but she couldn’t quite believe it. “I’ll meet you at the crook in the river.”

“Okay,” Toby said as he started off walking along the shore.

Rachel watched him for a few moments, then began the long climb to the top of the hill hugging the river. The canyon sloped gently, with rocky outcroppings and tall pine trees sparse along the sides. Searching in every nook, Rachel climbed to the crest, calling to Grace.

She clambered among the rocks, watching for snakes, looking for any place a child could hide. Panic had risen to her throat.

When the wind blew, she could hear, very faintly, Toby’s voice, and every few minutes she shaded her eyes to spot the boy.

The breeze blew the sound of laughter, soft and tinkling like a child’s, in her direction. Rachel hurried forward, her determined feet carrying her toward a large, jagged rock. When she found Grace, she would hug her, then give her the spanking of her young life.

Rachel’s boots slipped in the soft dirt, and she almost tumbled down the side of the hill, sending rocks rolling and clattering down the hillside.