A Hope Springs Christmas (12 page)

“You startled me, Levi. That’s why I pushed you away. I didn’t mean for you to fall in the water. I’m sorry the others laughed, but I wasn’t laughing.”

He rolled on his side away from her. “I want to sleep now.”

“All right. I’ll be here if you need me.” He didn’t answer.

She left him alone and took a bowl of soup up to Atlee. She was pleased when he managed to eat most of it. She hoped Levi would be able to take some later.

With Moses working in the carriage shop, Sarah got busy on something she had been dying to do for days—putting Levi’s house to rights.

She re-washed all the dishes in the cupboards. As she suspected, some of them had had only a cursory cleaning. After that, she scrubbed down the kitchen walls and counters. She was getting ready to mop the floor when she heard the door open. Expecting Moses, she was surprised to see Nettie Imhoff and her aunt Emma coming in.

She rushed to stop them from entering. “There is sickness in the house, ladies. It would be best to visit another time.”

Nettie set a large basket on the kitchen table. “My son Elam told me as much. Knowing that Levi is a bachelor, I came to see if I could be of use. I stopped by Emma’s place and asked her to join me.”

“Men are no good at taking care of themselves or anyone else when they’re sick,” Emma declared.

“You look like you could use a stout cup of coffee. I can do that much.” Nettie untied her bonnet, hung it along with her coat on the peg by the door and smoothed her apron.

“That sounds lovely.” Sarah kept her voice low so she wouldn’t disturb Levi.

Nettie glanced at the cot in the other room. “How is he?”

“A little better, I think. I was very worried this morning. Atlee is sick, too, but his fever isn’t nearly as high as Levi’s.”

Nettie said, “My friends in Sugarcreek wrote that this flu has been harsh, but it only lasts a few days. Levi and his brother will be better in no time.”

Sarah felt the unexpected sting of tears in her eyes. “I’m silly to fret, but with Christmas coming I can’t help but worry that something bad will happen again. Jonas, my parents, Bethany, they were all taken from me at Christmastime.”

Emma drew her into a comforting hug. “God has given you far too much grief for one so young, but do not doubt His mercy.”

Sarah sniffed and wiped her eyes. “You’re right. I must lean on His strength.”

“What can we do to help?” Nettie asked.

“Until Levi or Atlee need something, I’m trying to put this house in order.”

Emma frowned at the grimy floor. “The house is missing the mistress.”

“I can’t give Grace high marks in housekeeping. Levi seems to be the only one in the family who likes an orderly existence. The twins are slobs.”

The older women chuckled and Sarah smiled. It was good to have them here. She hadn’t realized how scared she had been. Having Levi laid up brought back so many bad memories of her husband’s illness and death.

“A strong cup of
kaffi
first, then we clean,” Emma declared. She glanced toward the living room and lowered her voice. “While the men are stuck in bed and can’t mess it up before we’re finished.”

With the three of them working, they were able to scrub the kitchen floor, strip and air the beds, wash a half dozen loads of laundry and clean the bathroom, all before two-o’clock in the afternoon.

Sarah blew out a weary breath as she hung the last sheet on the line. She glanced down the rows of bed linens, shirts, pants and socks flapping in the breeze. Thankfully, the day was sunny. She’d be able to gather them in a few hours and begin the process of ironing, mending and putting them away. She’d forgotten how much work it was to do laundry for more than one person. She was tired, but in a good way.

At least her string of suitors wouldn’t come looking for her over here.

Her aunt and Nettie left after exacting a promise that Sarah would send for them if she became ill or the Beachy brothers didn’t recover as expected.

Levi refused any supper, but since he was keeping liquids down, Sarah left it at that. Atlee was feeling better while Moses came in looking worn to the bone. Sarah laid a hand on his forehead. “Are you feeling ill now?”

He shook his head. “It was a busy day, that’s all.”

“Levi will be pleased when he learns how you stepped in to take his place. I’ve left some soup on the stove and there is fried chicken staying warm in the oven. Just put the leftovers in the refrigerator.”

He sniffed the air. “What’s that funny smell?”

Sarah tried not to laugh. “Pine cleaner.”

“Oh.”

“Moses, I’m sorry about tossing water on you this morning.”

He grinned. “I reckon Atlee and me played enough jokes on you that I had a little payback coming. Just remember what I said about pranks.”

“It’s only funny the first time?”

“Ja.”

“I’ll see you first thing in the morning. Don’t be afraid to come get me if either of them get worse.” She glanced once more toward Levi’s bed. He would be fine. She had to have faith. So why didn’t she?

* * *

Levi wasn’t sure if he was still among the living, but he decided he must be when he rolled over and every muscle in his body protested.

Daylight streamed in through the window on the east side of the house. What time was it? How long had he been asleep?

He sat up in bed and discovered he could do it without getting dizzy. He was definitely on the mend. Maybe it had been Sarah’s tea.

He realized he was thirsty. Rising, he made it as far as the kitchen. There was a pitcher of orange juice and several glasses on the table. He sat down and poured himself a drink. It tasted wonderful.

“You need a haircut.” Sarah was standing behind his chair. He should have known she was in the house. When was the last time one of the twins made fresh-squeezed orange juice? Before he could form an answer, she was running her fingers through his hair.

His ability to speak vanished altogether. He stopped breathing. It was the first time a woman who wasn’t his sister or his mother had touched him like this.

“I never realized you have such nice curls.” She tugged gently, testing the length and thickness of the hair he battled into smooth submission with a brush each morning. His scalp prickled, and gooseflesh rose on his arms. A shiver raced through his body.

She stopped. “Are you cold?”

He wasn’t, but he lied. “A little.”

“Do you want to move closer to the stove?”

“Nee.”
He could already feel the heat building in his body. Did she realize how her touch affected him? He hoped not. He prayed not.

She said, “How foolish of me. A haircut can wait until you’re feeling better.”

Even if he had been at death’s door it wouldn’t have mattered. All he wanted was for her to keep her fingers in his hair. He managed to say, “I reckon a haircut is past due. Might as well get it over with. If you don’t mind the chore.”

“I don’t mind at all. Let me get a towel.” She seemed delighted with his capitulation. She left the room humming and returned a few moments later with a large white towel under her arm, scissors and a comb in her other hand.

Setting her tools aside, she shook out the towel and put it around his neck, fastening it behind him with a safety pin. Taking up the comb, she studied him for a moment. He glanced at her from beneath his lashes.

Her blue-green eyes narrowed as she assessed his head. She tilted her face first one way and then another. She ran the comb through his hair. It caught on a tangle and he winced.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.” He prepared to withstand a few more pulls for his hair was matted from his fever.

She started combing again, more gently. “Levi, can I ask you something?”

“Ja.”

“Yesterday, you said... Oh, never mind.”

“I accused you of laughing at me. I know you weren’t. You were only trying to help.”

“That’s true, but you said when we were in school that I...that I asked you to kiss me. Why did you say that?”

“It was a long time ago. Can we just skip it?”

“I want to know what I did that gave you that impression.”

“Impression? You wrote me a note. It said to meet you by the creek if I wanted to kiss you. What other impression was I going to get?”

She stopped combing his hair. “I did not.”

Anger rose in him. “Now you’re saying I’m a liar?”

Taking a seat beside him, she faced him without flinching. “I don’t know a more honest man than you, Levi Beachy. You must believe me when I say I did not write you such a note.”

“If you didn’t, why were you waiting under the willow tree?”

Her eyes widened, and she sat back with a stunned expression on her face. “She wouldn’t have.”

“Who?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Did the note say exactly where I would be?”

His anger drained away. He was tired, and he wanted to lie down again. He didn’t want to rehash the most embarrassing event of his youth. “Does it matter?”

“I guess not, but I think I know what happened. My sister was a prankster equal to or better than your brothers. When school let out that day she said she had a surprise for me. I was to wait by the willow tree and keep my eyes closed. Then you came, and I forgot all about her surprise.”

Sarah rose to her feet and resumed combing his hair. “I’m sorry she made you a pawn in her game, Levi. Bethany never thought how her actions would affect others.”

All this time he had blamed Sarah, and she hadn’t had anything to do with his humiliation. What a fool he had been. What a fool he still was. “I’m sorry I fell into her trap so easily.”

“We were kids. It happened. It wasn’t a bad kiss, you know.”

Embarrassment made him want to sink through the floor. Why did she have to admit that now?

She stopped combing and bit the corner of her lower lip. “I need better light.”

He started to rise, but she laid a hand on his shoulder. “Just scoot your chair a little closer to the window.”

The legs of the chair grated on the wooden floor as he shifted closer to the light. She pressed her hand to his chest to stop his forward movement. “That’s fine.”

When his poor heart started beating again, Levi realized with a jolt what Gideon had recognized weeks ago.

Levi cared about Sarah. Not just as his responsibility, not because she had been Jonas’s wife, but because she was a warm and vibrant woman. As much as he wanted to deny it, his heart would no longer be silent.

He was falling foolishly and hopelessly in love with Sarah, and she treated him like a brother.

She stepped behind him and carefully pulled the comb through his hair again. The rasp of the teeth over his scalp, the tugs when she encountered tangles, none of those small discomforts mattered, because each time she smoothed them away with her other hand. She started humming again.

No matter how he felt, he knew she would never return his feelings. She had loved her husband. Levi was a poor substitute for a man such as Jonas. It was pure foolishness to think anything else.

He would never embarrass her with unwanted displays of affection. He was good at keeping his feelings hidden. He would remain her friend as he had promised Jonas he would.

She ran her fingers through his hair again. “I haven’t done this in a while. I hope I remember how. Are you sure you’re not too tired to do this?”

If he said yes, she would stop. He should send her away. He opened his mouth to do so, but couldn’t speak the words. Instead, he said, “I’m fine.”

She said, “Here goes.” He heard the snip of the scissors.

Levi closed his eyes and gave himself up to the forbidden luxury of her touch.

Chapter Twelve

S
he was making a terrible mistake.

Sarah knew it even before she began cutting locks of Levi’s hair. Her barbering skills were adequate to the task, but what about her self-control?

Her desire to do this small, wifely task had seemed so innocent when it first occurred to her. Now, with her fingers entwined in Levi’s curls, she admitted her motives were far from innocent. She wanted more than to run her fingers through his hair. She wanted to know what it would be like to be held in his arms, to be kissed by him.

How had this happened?

In the space of a few weeks she had come to see Levi as much more than the neighbor and friend that he had been for five years. Her plan to uncover the man behind his shy exterior was meant to help her find the right kind of woman for him. The real Levi was a man with a quiet soul, a big heart and a wonderful sense of humor...someone who thrilled her with the simple touch of his hand.

And he was courting her friend, Leah.

That was exactly what she had hoped would happen. Only now, she wanted to undo what she had done. She wanted to keep the man she had uncovered to herself.

How selfish she was. This wasn’t about what she wanted anymore. Levi had become more important to her than she ever expected. She cared deeply about him.

She drew the comb through Levi’s hair, measuring with her fingers and cutting away the excess. What would he do if she told him how she felt? Probably fall out of his chair. In five years he hadn’t given the least hint that he saw her as anything more than his dear friend’s widow.

Should she ask him about Leah? It wasn’t any of her business.

What if he married Leah and they began happily raising their children next door to her? Could she watch from her kitchen window and not be jealous of their happiness? She wasn’t sure.

Would it be better if he moved away? Or would not seeing him be worse? Would he finally follow his dream of living where he could see the Rockies from his front porch each morning? She was torn between praying for his happiness and praying for her own.

She drew his hair upward, snipping the long ends and letting them drop to the towel around his shoulders. She worked slowly, but she was finished all too soon. She plucked one perfectly formed crescent from the towel and slipped it into her pocket. She would keep it as a memento of today.

When he was gone or married, she would be able to remember the texture of his hair beneath her hands and how she longed to press a kiss to his brow.

She stood behind him with her hands resting on his strong shoulders, relishing the feel of his strength beneath her palms.

After a few moments, he asked, “Are you finished?”

His voice was rough and raspy. She chided herself for keeping him sitting here while she indulged in a sad fantasy. “I’m finished. I didn’t give you many bald spots.”

“Lucky for me, I get to wear a hat.”

She started to turn away, but he captured her hand and held it tight. The air around them became charged with electricity. She stopped breathing, waiting for him to speak.

She heard footsteps on the stairs before he could say anything. One of the boys was coming down. Levi released her hand, and she moved quickly to fetch the broom leaning in the corner of the kitchen.

“Guder mariye.”
Atlee entered the kitchen wearing a threadbare blue robe over his pajamas. His hair was disheveled and he looked tired, but his eyes were bright and his color was better.

“Good morning, Atlee. How are you feeling?” Sarah unpinned the towel from Levi’s neck and began sweeping up the loose hair on the floor. She was careful not to meet his gaze. Her stolen time with him was over. She had to come back to the real world.

Atlee sat beside Levi at the table. “I’m a little better. Brother, how are you?”

“I think I’ll live.”

Sarah cringed at his jest. Life was short and precious and could be snatched away in an instant.
Please, Lord, grant him long full years here on earth before You call him home
.

“Where is Moses?” Levi looked toward the stairs.

Atlee yawned and propped his elbows on the table. “He went out to take care of the stock about an hour ago. I reckon he’s working in the shop. Delbert Weaver brought in his buggy late yesterday. His door was snapped clean off when a pickup sideswiped him. Moses is going to put a new one on this morning. Delbert said his son was hurt pretty bad. He might loose his arm.”

“Which son?” Sarah asked. They had gone to school with several of Delbert’s children.

“Roman. They took him to a hospital in Cleveland.”

“How awful.” Roman was only a few years younger than Sarah.

Levi shook his head sadly. “He was the star of our school’s baseball team and a fine fellow. We must pray for his healing.”

It would be a sad Christmas season for someone other than herself. She needed to put her own fears and worries aside and stop being selfish in her grief. “I must see if we can organize a quilt sale to help pay his hospital expenses. I have two quilts I can donate.”

Levi smiled at her warmly. “I can’t sew, but I can donate a set of wheels.”

Atlee said, “We could hold an auction here after Christmas.”

Sarah nodded. “What better way to celebrate the great gift God bestowed on mankind than to help someone in need?”

Levi met her gaze. His eyes were filled with an emotion she couldn’t read.

Atlee sat up straight. “What’s for breakfast, Sarah? My bellybutton and my backbone are getting to be best friends.”

Levi dropped his gaze. What would he have said if they had been alone?

“I’ll have oatmeal and bacon in a few minutes. Levi, what would you like? Toast? Poached eggs?”

“I reckon I’d like to lay down in my own bed for a bit. Thank you, Sarah, for everything.” He smiled at her, but it was a smile tinged with sadness.

When he had gone upstairs, Atlee brushed a loose piece of hair from the tabletop. He had an odd expression on his face. He glanced at her several times, but couldn’t seem to find a way to speak his piece.

“Is something on your mind, Atlee?”

“We had a letter from our
grossmammi
the other day.”

“Is she enjoying Grace’s visit?”

“I reckon. Grace is staying until the week after Christmas. Sarah, you haven’t really been matchmaking for Levi, have you?”

Embarrassment flooded her face with heat. “What gave you that idea?”

“Grandma wrote that one of Grace’s friends was matchmaking for him. Moses and me thought it might be you.”

So that was how Levi found out. She sighed deeply. “I admit I was trying to help, but Levi has no need of a matchmaker.”

“Course not. He’s not the marrying kind.”

“You may be mistaken about that.”

“What do you mean? Is Levi is seeing someone?”

“I shouldn’t say. When he is ready to wed, he will tell you.”

“
Nee.
Who would marry my brother?”

“A very blessed woman, if you ask me.”

Sarah suddenly glared at Atlee and shook a finger at him. “You must not play tricks or jokes on them, Atlee. Hearts are not playthings.”

He held his hands in the air. “All right. We won’t, but it would help if we knew who she was.”

“I will not say, but if you open your eyes, you can put two and two together. You know who your sister has been seeing, don’t you?”

“That wimp, Henry Zook.”

“He is not a wimp. He is your sister’s choice. She may wed him one day. You must respect that.”

“Okay, but the only woman Levi has been around much is you. Is he courting you?”

An intense sense of loss settled in her chest. “
Nee,
he is not. I believe he has been seeing another.”

“Wait, do you mean Leah Belier? The teacher?” His voice shot up an octave.

Perhaps now the boys would realize Levi’s life no long revolved around them. “It is for Levi to say, not me. How do you want your oatmeal?”

“Oatmeal is oatmeal.” His dejected tone made her smile.

“Not when you add brown sugar and cinnamon or raisins. Would you like to try it?”

“Levi can’t be serious about the teacher. That would be awful. If she came to live with us it would be worse that being in school again. She has eyes in the back of her head. She’d make us toe the line day and night.”

“Someone should.”

He stayed silent, but he wore a belligerent expression that gave her pause.

“I’m sorry I said anything, Atlee. Levi may not be serious about anyone. But if such a thing does happen, you must be happy for him no matter who his choice is.”

Sarah noticed a lock of hair against the table leg that had escaped her broom. Leaning down, she plucked it from the floor and added it to the one in her pocket. Tonight, she would press them between sheets of tissue paper and place them in her Bible. Then she would pray for Levi’s happiness and not for her own.

* * *

Levi made a rapid recovery. Sarah didn’t come to his home again after she cut his hair. He would not soon forget those moments together, the feel of her hands, the whisper of her breath, the scent of her body so close to his. It had taken all the willpower he possessed not to take her in his arms and declare his love.

Would she have been repulsed by his actions, or would she have accepted his advances?

He wasn’t half the man Jonas had been, but maybe Sarah could love him just a little. She didn’t have to love him the way she had loved her husband. He could accept that. He would spend a lifetime trying to make her happy and keep her safe.

He didn’t know what answer she might have given him. He lacked the courage to act.

He saw her only briefly the following day when she stopped in at the shop to tell him she wouldn’t be able to work until after Christmas.

He understood, but he missed her and found himself spending most of the day looking out the window toward her house. At least two more men dropped by to visit her. Levi’s punishment for his little joke was having to watch and wonder what was going on inside her home until each man left. Just because he lacked the courage to declare his feelings didn’t mean another man would have such trouble. He prayed for courage and the chance to learn how she felt about him.

On Sunday evening, Levi joined his family at the home of his cousin Rebecca and her husband, Gideon. His grandfather Reuben and Reuben’s wife were there, as well. Levi’s grandmother died before he was born. Lydia was his grandfather’s third wife. She had a sour disposition, but she was a mighty good cook.

The day was cold with occasional snowflakes drifting down from gray skies. The weather suited Levi’s mood.

The company was good, as was the plentiful food. His grandfather’s stories of holidays past had everyone chuckling. When the meal was over, Reuben stepped outside to smoke his pipe. Levi joined him. Few Amish smoked, but the occasional use of a pipe by an elder was permitted.

His grandfather’s snow-white hair held a permanent crimp around his head from the hat he normally wore. His beard, as white as his hair, reached the center of the dark gray vest he had buttoned over his white shirt. His sharp eyes looked Levi up and down. “You are better?”

“I am.”

“
Gotte
es
goot
. I heard those rascally brothers of yours played a pretty good prank on Daniel Hershberger and his new wife.”

“I knew the story would get around quick. The twins rigged the seat to tip over backwards when the carriage started moving.”

“So it is true? Daniel and Susan went rolling down the street with their feet in the air?”

Levi suppressed a grin. “Kicking like a pair of mad babies.”

Reuben pulled his pipe from between his teeth and laughed out loud. “I wish I might have seen it.”

“It was right funny, but what they did was no laughing matter. Had Daniel’s horse run out into traffic, someone could have gotten hurt, or worse.”

“True enough. What have you done about it?”

“I told the boys they had to find work elsewhere,”

“Did you?” Reuben looked surprised. He took a drag on his pipe and blew a ring of smoke in the air.

“Was I wrong?”

“That’s not for me to say, Levi. You’ve dedicated your life to raising those boys. Many admire you for it, some call you foolish. A man rarely has the luxury of knowing if his decision was right or wrong in this life. How did they take it?”

“Better than I hoped.”

“Have you thought about separating them?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m thinking it might be good for them to get along without each other for a time. Your cousin Mark from over in Berlin could put one of the boys to work on his dairy farm. Leah Belier told Lydia her cousin was looking for help in his construction business in Sugarcreek. He and his family are staying with her until tomorrow if you want to talk to him about it.”

“The twins have never been away from each other.”

“Unless they plan to remain old boys all their lives, that will have to change eventually.”

“I will think on it.” He would ask Sarah for her opinion. She had a knack for handling the boys.

A shriek came from inside the house. They hurried in to find Lydia beating the floor with a broom. The twins were doubled over with laughter.

Atlee said, “It’s just a plastic spider.”

“The look on your face was priceless.” Moses caught sight of Levi’s stern face and smothered his grin.

“Oh, you evil boys. I hate spiders, and you know it.” Lydia left the room with a huff.

“You’re lucky my wife didn’t take that broom to your backsides.” Reuben sent a speaking glance at Levi.

He knew what his grandfather meant. It was time the boys learned to go their separate ways. He would speak to his cousin Mark and to Leah’s cousin.

He nodded. “I reckon you are right. It’s time we should be leaving. Gideon and Rebecca, it was a mighty good meal. Merry Christmas to you all. Grandfather, please tell Lydia I’m sorry for her fright. The boys will be over this week to cut and stack a cord of wood for her.”

The expressions on the boys’ faces changed from amusement to outrage. Levi fixed his gaze on them and added sternly, “And they will be happy to do it.”