A Hopscotch Summer (28 page)

‘What, that she’s having a babby?’

‘That it could be yours. That you want to marry her.’

The answer did not come for some time. The sound of the children clattering the plates came through the floorboards. At last he said, ‘It could be. She says it is.’

There was silence. Bob was in a torment.

‘And
her
, d’you want
her
?’ Her voice cut him like a blade.

‘No . . .’ But he didn’t quite mean it, even after what he had just seen: her cold, calculating spite. Still she had the old hold on him which would not release him. Still he longed to protect her.

‘I just . . .’ He shrugged helplessly, an impossible tension within him.

‘Because if you do, you’d better go . . .’

‘
What?
Cynth, no, I dain’t mean . . . All that happened was . . .’

Cynthia twisted round to look at him. ‘Don’t tell me about it!’ she cried fiercely. ‘I don’t want to know. There was me feeling that bad for letting you all down, when all the time . . .’ She turned away again, her voice quiet and sad. ‘But I did let you down, so maybe it’s no more than I deserve. If you’re not going to stand by us, don’t want us – if you love her – then go. I don’t want you here.’

‘No! It ain’t that! None of that was your fault, Cynth!’ He hurried round the bed towards her but she held out her hand to keep him away. She was not emotional. She seemed detached and iron hard.

‘Do you love her?’

He put a hand to his head. ‘No, but . . .’

‘You do,’ she stated.

‘
No!
’ He was breathing hard, almost sobbing. ‘But she’s got a grip on me, like. I was lonely –
scared
. I dain’t know if you was ever coming back. And now I’ve gone and got myself into this. I can’t just leave her.’

Cynthia watched him with her frigid, terrible calm, then turned away. ‘Then go. I don’t want you in my bed.’

‘But Cynth!’

‘I said
go
.’ She waved a hand, her devastating hurt bursting out in a snarl. ‘Take your things and bugger off. You’ve got another family now. We’ll manage without you.’

‘Did you know, Dot?’

Cynthia was in such a state, she didn’t even wait for Dot to clear the twins and Nancy out of the room. The four of them were sitting round the table finishing their tea when she erupted into the house, trembling with emotion. The children all stared. Dot stood up, holding a white rag that had been in her lap.

‘Know what, Cynth?’ she asked carefully. But her eyes held a mixture of fear and sorrow.

‘You knew about her, didn’t you?’

Without turning her head, Dot ordered, ‘Boys, Nance – out.’

‘But Mom, I haven’t—’ Terry began.

‘I said out!’

In seconds they were alone. Dot looked down, wringing the rag between her hands. ‘It’s hard not to know things round here.’ She had not seen Flossie’s coming and going next door this evening, but Cynthia had obviously found out somehow.

‘You were helping him, looking after the kids all the time – so he could be with
her
!’

‘No!’ Dot’s eyes flashed now and she flung the cloth on the table. ‘That’s not how it was, Cynth! I ended up minding your kids all the time cos he was never bloody well here! He spent every moment he could with the sodding woman and—’ She stopped, realizing she’d said too much. More gently, she went on, ‘Thing was, Cynth – Em was left doing everything and she couldn’t manage, not at her age. The poor kid was in a right state, wearing herself to a wafer. Joycie spent most of her time round here with Nance. What else could I do? In the end I was getting them to school – and to bed most nights. They needed a mom and I was the nearest thing. It wasn’t to help him play about. I just tried to do my best for ’em when it was you they wanted. I felt for the little mites.’

Cynthia sank shakily onto a chair. ‘God, Dot, I don’t half owe yer,’ she said, tears welling in her eyes. ‘I didn’t really come round ’ere to have a go. I just don’t know which way to turn. I s’pose you didn’t really have a choice, keeping quiet about it, not wanting to upset me. I’d’ve done the same.’ She gave a deep sigh, wiping her hands over her face. ‘While I was in that place I was too wrapped up in myself. I mean, I worried about the kids, course I did, but it was like another world over there: nothing else was real. And I couldn’t do anything about it all so I sort of shut it out of my mind, the day-to-day stuff and how they were managing. I just hoped they were. But I owe it all to you, Dot.’

‘How did you find out about her?’

‘She came. Just now while we were having tea.’

‘What, just turned up?’

Cynthia nodded bleakly.

‘I s’pose she came to spread her spite and make trouble,’ Dot said bitterly. ‘I always knew she was a nasty piece of work. I tried to get through to Bob, please believe me, Cynth.’ Dot came and sat beside her, talking earnestly. ‘We had some right old ding-dongs. But he wouldn’t listen. It was as if that woman had bewitched him!’

‘Did the kids know about it?’ Cynthia looked directly at her. She was still trembling, but her eyes were clear of tears.

Dot hesitated, then nodded. She was surprised by her friend’s new strength.

‘Is that where he was, Christmas Day?’

‘I only knew when Em said after. I wasn’t here on the day cos I went to Jean and David’s. I thought he was coming to see you. But he didn’t, did he?’

Cynthia shook her head wanly. She was shaking even harder, her teeth chattering as if all the shock was coming out. ‘But I was glad in a way. I felt so bad.’

‘Oh, love, look at the state of yer. Where is ’e now? Down the boozer, I s’pose, drowning his sorrows?’

‘He’s gone. To her. I threw him out.’

‘
What?
’ Dot cried. ‘You never!’

Cynthia’s shoulders began to heave with sobs. ‘That’s what he wants. I could see. And with a babby on the way, what’s the use in me being a millstone round his neck? He’s always going to be wishing he was somewhere else, or sneaking off to her. I couldn’t stand that.’

‘A
babby
? You mean she’s . . . ? God, Cynth . . .’ It began to sink in. ‘And he just went? But you can’t let him get away just like that! How’re you going to manage? I mean, four kids . . .’

‘Well, you’ve managed,’ Cynthia wept. ‘I dunno, I haven’t had time. I’ll have to get out to work.’ She clutched her head in confusion. ‘I can’t even think straight.’

‘Oh, love.’ Dot leaned forward and put her arms round her distraught friend. ‘That’s it, you have a bit of a blart, make yer feel better. Oh dear, after all you’ve been through an’ all . . . I’d give you a drop of hard stuff to buck you up if I had any – but I don’t!’

‘It doesn’t suit me anyhow!’ Cynthia sniffed. ‘Makes me sick . . .’ She wiped her eyes, looking stunned.

‘I can’t believe Bob’d just take off and desert you all,’ Dot said, in shock herself. ‘He’s no good with her anyway.’

‘What d’you mean? She looks pretty and . . . Well, better than me.’

‘No,’ Dot said emphatically. ‘Oh no. She’s a looker all right, but that one’s a smooth operator if ever I saw one! She hung about getting her claws into Bob. Course he’s handsome and strong, but he ain’t no Rockefeller. Why not go for someone better off?’ She frowned. ‘There’s summat fishy about her in my opinion. Summat doesn’t add up.’

‘What d’you mean?’ Cynthia seemed dazed.

Dot shook her head. ‘I can’t put my finger on it but she’s just queer – the way she talks and puts on airs, and she’s not as poor as you’d expect, not for a widow bringing up a girl on her own. I mean, she ain’t rich but she seems to be comfortable. Summat just doesn’t fit right about her.’

Cynthia looked despairing. ‘But whatever it is, he’d rather be with her than me.’

‘No – I don’t think that’s it. You’ve got to fight for him, bab, not just let that strumpet walk all over the pair of yer. Bob’s a weak man in some ways, but you and the kids are his sun and stars, you know that. He’s always been a family man! He’ll soon miss you all like hell and come running back. I don’t know what the hold she has on him is, but somehow she’s pulled him right off the rails.’ Dot was looking thoughtful. ‘Tell you what, bide your time, give ’im a chance to get sick of her and let’s see if we can find out a bit about her. We could talk to Em, see what she knows. I know they’ve been in her house.’

Cynthia looked reluctant. ‘I don’t want the kids dragged into this. They’ve had enough to put up with.’

‘They’re in it anyway,’ Dot said. ‘What with her turning up and carrying on the way she did. And you’re going to have to say he’s gone with her for the moment. What choice have you got? Look, Em’s quite grown-up for her age now, she’s had to be. We’ll talk to her. But you’ll have to tell them. You don’t want them finding out from someone else, do yer?’

Later that evening, Cynthia gathered the children round her before they went to bed. She had been surprised none of them had asked where Bob was, until Sid remarked, ‘I s’pose Dad’s down the Crown again?’

Things had obviously been even worse than she realized while she was away, but once they were all round her, scrubbed and ready, Violet in her arms, she said, ‘I’ve got summat to tell you that’s not easy to explain. You know that lady who came round this evening?’

‘Mrs Dawson?’ Joyce said earnestly.

‘Yes. Well, as you’ve no doubt noticed, your dad’s got rather . . .’ She had to hold on to herself very tightly so as not to cry. ‘He’s rather fond of her. Anyway, for the moment, he’s going to be staying with her in her house.’

‘Why?’ Sid asked, frowning furiously. ‘I don’t like her. Why’s he stopping with her?’

‘To – help her out a little bit,’ Cynthia said, groping desperately for reasons that would make any sense to the children.

‘Is that because of the babby?’ Em asked.

‘Yes,’ Cynthia said faintly. The children had obviously not missed any of the shouted exchange when Flossie turned up. ‘That’s right. She just . . . she just needs a bit of help.’

‘Well, when’s he coming back? Tomorrow?’ Sid demanded.

‘I don’t know,’ Cynthia had to say. ‘I’m sorry, love.’

Sid and Joyce asked more questions, but Em stood silent, her face very solemn, her eyes like two despairing pools.

Em sat biting her nails through her lessons the next day and got told off by Miss Lineham. She felt sick and couldn’t keep her mind on anything after what had happened with Flossie Dawson, and seeing Mom and Dad both looking so upset and frightened, then Dad going. Mom had been trying to act as if everything was normal that morning as they got ready for school, but Em could see how pale and upset she was. Just when things had been getting better, they were all falling apart again.

Out in the playground she saw Sid and Joyce. Sid was running round in the gang of footballers, but Joyce came up to her looking upset.

‘I hurt my finger,’ she said, tears rolling down her cheeks as she showed Em her bruised right middle finger. She had got it caught in one of the doors as someone closed it and it was already purple and swollen. Em gave her a cuddle and tried to distract her, but she could see that her little sister was feeling as unsettled as she was.

‘Can I come round and play at yours?’ Molly said afterwards and Em nodded gladly. If they played out she could forget everything that was happening at home.

When they got to the house, Dot and Cynthia were both waiting for them. Both the women had pegged out their washing after a hard morning’s work and it was swinging gently on the lines in their back yards under a threatening sky.

‘Here, there’s a piece for you,’ Cynthia greeted them as they came in, trying to sound calm. The plate of bread with a scraping of dripping was on the table. ‘Oh hello, Molly. I didn’t know you were coming as well.’ She made herself speak kindly, even though her nerves were screaming that she didn’t want anyone else there, just family and Dot.

‘’Ello, Mrs Brown,’ Molly said.

‘Can Molly have a piece?’ Em asked.

‘Go on, then,’ Cynthia said. She was surprised at the bond that had formed between Em and Molly Fox, and she found Molly quite a likeable girl, once you got past the scruffy, smelly state of her. Jenny Button’s instruction in the manners department had also been a great improvement.

‘Thing is, we want to have a word with you, Em,’ she said, once Sid, Joyce and Nance had taken their bread and run off outside. ‘Nothing to worry about, you ain’t in trouble. Only maybe Molly’d better go on home.’

Em’s face fell. ‘But we wanted to play!’

‘Why don’t you let Molly stay?’ Dot suggested, topping up the teacups. ‘It’ll be all right.’ To Cynthia she added in a whisper, ‘You never know, she might know summat. She hears a lot and she’s no fool, that one.’

Cynthia was none too keen to discuss her business in front of Molly Fox, but she had to realize that a lot of things had changed in the months she’d been away. None of her business was going to be private now, that was one thing for certain.

‘What d’you want to know?’ Em said warily, through a thick mouthful of bread. When adults said they wanted to talk to you it usually meant bad news and trouble. She looked poised to run away.

‘Well,’ Cynthia began gently. She was determined to keep herself under control and not cry. ‘You know that lady who came round last night?’

Em’s lip curled in contempt. ‘Flossie the Floozy.’

‘What? Where did you hear that?’ Cynthia and Dot couldn’t help laughing.

‘Dunno,’ Em said evasively. ‘It’s just what some people call her.’

‘You’ve been to her house, haven’t you? What’s it like?’

Em swallowed her last mouthful, shrugging. ‘S’all right. Quite nice.’

‘Has she got some nice things?’ Dot asked.

Em looked a bit blank. ‘She’s got a dragon – a red one.’

The two women exchanged glances, but this didn’t seem to be getting them anywhere.

‘What about her daughter?’ Cynthia asked.

‘She’s called Daisy and she’s horrible. She was always nasty to us. She isn’t always there. She goes out and they argue about it.’

‘Where does she go?’

‘She’s got an auntie, I think . . .’ Em didn’t seem quite sure.

‘I saw her,’ Molly put in, but no one took any notice.

‘Did she say anything about her auntie?’

Em shook her head. ‘She goes for tea or summat – Sundays.’

‘She was outside this house . . .’ Molly spoke more loudly and at last they all looked at her.

‘Go on, bab,’ Dot said. ‘Tell us what you were going to say.’

‘I saw Daisy – weeks back, when we was living up Aston. She was going along the road – you couldn’t miss her in that hat she wears. I followed her cos I dain’t have anything else to do and I wanted to see where she’d go. It were only for a couple of minutes because she went and knocked on the door of this house, and then someone let her in.’

She had Cynthia’s and Dot’s full attention now.

‘D’you know where the house was?’ Dot asked.

Molly’s eye wandered. ‘I dunno the name of the road – but I know where it is. I could show yer if you want to know that bad.’