A House Is Not a Home (26 page)

“If you're my date, I won't be.”

They grinned.

Raheim settled back but leaned in to the left, moving a little closer to him. “So, tell me about the job.”

Mitchell took the fax off the coffee table and handed it to him. After Raheim read it over, Mitchell filled him in on the conversation he'd had with Em. By the time he was done, Raheim's arms were draped across Mitchell's legs, which were stretched across Raheim's thighs.

“They would want to be comin' at you like that. You deserve it.”

“Thanks.”

“Sounds like a great opp.”

“It is.”

“But . . . ?” Raheim knew Mitchell had reservations—or, rather, one. And he knew what that reservation was. . . .

“I . . . I just don't know if now is the right time.”

Raheim's eyebrows rose. “
Right
time?”

Mitchell breathed a chuckle. “The
best
time to do something like this.”

“Why wouldn't it be?”

“I do have a full house.”

Raheim stated the obvious. “E. is goin' away to college next year. And Destiny ain't a baby no more. In fact, things are fallin' into place the way we . . . you planned.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. That you would stay home with Destiny until she went to the first grade.”

He remembered
. “Yeah. Boy, those years flew by.”

“Uh-huh. They grow up . . . and away. And Destiny's really independent. It's time she really saw that her daddy can be, too.”

Mitchell was thrown by that comment. “Huh?”

“Well, you been there for her ever since she was born—right there.”

Mitchell became a little defensive. “I was
supposed
to be.”

“Of course you was supposed to be. You've given her a life many kids don't get. But, like I said, she ain't a baby. You can't be afraid to let go.”

“Let go?”

“Yeah. You armed her with the tools to go out in the world and make a space for herself and she's already doing that in her own way. Now you gotta give yourself permission to do what you want for you, knowin' that what you do will make things better for the both of y'all. That's gonna be another jood lesson for her: she'll know where that independence can take her.”

Mitchell looked at Raheim quizzically. “You been watchin'
Dr. Phil
?”

They laughed.

“Actually, yeah. The past few days. I'm goin' on his show next month.”

Mitchell knew what the topic would be. “You're becoming, what they call on the talk show circuit, an ‘expert.'”

“Not an expert, just experienced. That's how I know it ain't gonna be easy, lettin' go. I'm still tryin' to do it with Li'l . . . E.”

“So I hear.”

“We can't keep 'em little forever. We gotta cut the cord. She can survive. And you can too.”

Silence.

“It's . . . gonna be scary,” Mitchell admitted.

“What is?”

“Being . . . out there. I haven't been out there in so long.”

“You make it sound like another planet.”

“In a way it will be. I haven't punched a time clock as a journalist in ten years. The world is a much different place.”

“It is. But you'll be coming at it differently, as the E-I-C. And you can handle it. The question is can
it
handle
you
. It may not be able to take you and Emil.”

“Hmm . . . two Black SGL men helming Black magazines not specifically for Black SGL people. That would be major. Funny, but I never thought of that.”

“I bet they have. They probably don't want you wavin' a rainbow flag . . .”

“You know I won't be.”

“Yeah. But they gotta know your bein' SGL is gonna draw attention to the magazine.”

“And it's all about spin.”

“Right.”

“Hmmph. No wonder the letter mentions race
and
sexual orientation as issues the company takes seriously. Because of that, I should ask for twice the money.”

They laughed.

Mitchell sighed. “That means I may have to have
that
talk with Destiny.”

“You haven't already?”

“No. We've talked about there being different kinds of families in the world. But not that her daddy is a Same-Gender-Loving man.”

“How did that topic come up?”

“At the beginning of the school year, she made a friend named Tammy, who has a mother and a stepmother. She wanted to know how this could be.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That some children only have a daddy, like she does. Some only have a mommy. Some have both a mommy and daddy, some have two daddies like Errol, and some have two mommies like Tammy. Sometimes the parents that made you don't raise you—and that's not a bad thing. Look at Tammy: she lives with her stepmother. And look at us.”

“Mmm. I remember when I told Li'l . . . E. about us. I couldn't even say the
word gay
. . .”

Li'l Brotha Man, you know what it means when two people are together, right?

Uh-huh. That means they a couple.

Right. And who can make up a couple?

A man and a woman.

Right. But, a man and a woman . . . they not the only two people that can make a couple.

What do you mean, Daddy?

A man can be with a woman. But a man can also be with a man. And a woman with a woman. They all couples. Just different kinds.

How can that be, Daddy? A man and a woman get married and have a baby. Like you and Mommy. But you didn't get married.

That's right. But the way a person feels for someone else . . . it don't have to have anything to do with havin' a baby or gettin' married. See . . . there are some men who just have feelings for women. And there are some men who just have feelings for men. And then there are some men who have feelings for men and women. Like me.

You have feelings for men and women?

Yeah.

Like . . . I have feelings for you, and I have feelings for Mommy?

No, Li'l Brotha Man. It's different. The way you feel for me and Mommy, that's how a parent and child feel about each other. What I'm talkin' about . . . I had feelings for your mom and now I have the same kind of feelings for . . . Mitchell.

Mitch-hull?

Yeah.

How can you do that?

It's . . . it's just natural for me. I feel really close to Mitchell the way I used to feel close to Mommy. But that don't mean I don't have feelings for Mommy. I still care for her. But . . . I feel closer to Mitchell now.

Oh. Do Mommy know you and Mitchell . . . close?

Yeah, she do. And, to be honest with you, she's not too happy about it.

Why?

'Cause . . . now she likes Mitchell a lot, and she loves the way he's been a godfather to you. You like that, too, right?

Uh-huh, I do.

She knows you mean a lot to him. But . . . she's a little uncomfortable with our bein' together. You know what that word mean
, uncomfortable?

Uh-huh. That's when something bothers you.

Right. It's not that she don't like Mitchell. It's that me and Mitchell bein' a couple, loving each other . . . I guess its hard for her to accept.

So . . . you love Mitch-hull?

Yeah, I do.

And . . . Mitch-hull loves you?

Yeah. Some people think that it's wrong for people like me and Mitchell to be together.

What kind of people are you, Daddy?

Two men . . . who love each other. But when two people love each other, that's a jood thing.

I love you. And I love Mitch-hull. Will people think that's wrong?

Some people might. But you know in your heart that it ain't wrong.

Um, how long you and Mitch-hull been a couple, Daddy?

Uh . . . like four years.

Wow. That's a long time. It's like you married.

Uh, kinda sorta, yeah. We not married but we love you like a married couple would.

That means we a family.

Right. Me, you, and Lit—Little Bit, we a family.

Who is Little Bit, Daddy?

That's what I call Mitchell. Like, your nickname is Li'l Brotha Man, his nickname is Little Bit.

Oh. Why do you call him that?

'Cause, standin' next to your daddy, he's a little bit of a man. He shorter and weighs less than me. But he's got a big heart.

That's what Grammy said about Mitch-hull, too.

Grammy is right.

Daddy?

Yeah?

Why didn't you tell me before?

Well, Li'l Brotha Man . . . when me and Little Bit became a couple, you was so young . . . I . . . I didn't know what to say . . . or how to say it . . . so that you would understand.

You coulda told me back then, Daddy.

I could?

Uh-huh. I liked Mitch-hull from the first time I met him. Like I liked Winston the first time I met him. When Mommy got married to Winston, he became my stepfather; what do I call Mitch-hull?

I don't know, man. You can talk to him and choose somethin' together.

Okay.

So, are you comfortable with me and Little Bit bein' a couple?

I think so.

Jood. You lucky, Li'l Brotha Man. Your mommy and daddy both got somebody in their lives that love them and love you. And that means you get twice the love from us.

Ooh . . . like to the second power?

Yup. Like to the second power.

That's a jood thing. If it's twice as much that means it's twice as jood!

Ya know it.

“. . . so, tryin' to break that concept down is gonna be an even bigger challenge. But, like you said: ‘They may not be able to put it into words, but they know.'”

“Mmm-hmm. She acts the same way around us Errol did at her age.”

Silence.

“Have you thought of a name for the magazine?”

“I was thinking of . . .
Rise.
”

“Hmm. Why
Rise
?”

“It's a nod to Maya's poem. What I hope we can do is help readers understand that, no matter what they have or may be going through or will face, they can rise above and beyond it.”

“You sound like Iyanla.”

They chuckled.

“Maybe she can do a column. Or Maya. And I'd like to publish monthly essays from celebrities talking about a pivotal moment in their lives as children that shaped who they are.”

“Mmm . . . maybe I can do one.”

“Indeed. And we'll be putting you on the cover.”

“Won't that be a conflict of interest?”

“How?”

“Putting your . . . ex on the cover.” He'd never referred to himself as that to Mitchell before. He hoped he'd never have to again.

“You will be playing a man many of us don't know about and should. It's not our fault we were . . . once a couple.” Mitchell had never referred to their union in the past tense to Raheim before—and he, too, hoped it would be the last time.

“Ha, is that what you gonna tell your peers?”

“Yes. Think they'll buy it?”

“No.”

“Like I care? We're living in the era of the
un
fair and
un
balanced Fox News. If anything, the controversy will help sell magazines. And movie tickets. All about spin.”

“See, you're beginning to think like the E-I-C.”

They breathed together. Just like they used to.

Mitchell rose. “I'll be right back.”

He returned with a tray and sat it down on the coffee table. He handed Raheim the champagne bottle. “Will you do the honors?”

When the cork popped, Mitchell caught much of the bubbly splashing out with one of the glasses. Raheim finished filling them.

“Here's to . . . new beginnings,” Mitchell toasted.

“I'll drink to that. And . . . uh . . . happy anniversary.”

Wow
, Mitchell thought.
We met exactly ten years ago this evening
. Raheim was always jood about remembering things like that; he wasn't. But after they split, he found himself remembering . . . and wishing. The smile on his face told Raheim he, too, had remembered—and it was something he wanted to remember.

They clinked. They sipped. They sat back, shoulder to shoulder, each slightly leaning on the other.

“What are your plans for Father's Day?” Raheim inquired.

“I'm going to the Wall. I'll be taking Destiny. She's asked about my father. I told her he died fighting a war. She wanted me to point out Vietnam on her globe. She said it looked like he was a million miles away from home.”

“How y'all goin' to D.C.?”

“Amtrak. She loves taking the train. She's been to Richmond to see her grandfather's relatives a couple of times.”

“Uh, if you want . . . I can drive down.”

Mitchell was touched by the offer. “I . . . we'd love that, very much. But, don't you want to spend the day with
your
father?”

“I think he'd understand. Besides, every day is Father's Day for him.”

“And what about your son? He may have plans for you two.”

“He does. He wants to break our tie and be crowned the
Jeopardy!
champ.”

“Ah. I played him a few times and, as with his father, could never beat him.”

“He'll probably wanna go with us. I think he'd appreciate the Wall.”

“Yeah. He would.”

The radio was on, but they weren't paying much attention to it. But they did when . . .