A Leap of Faith (The Hands of Time: Book 2) (12 page)

Kit woke up later than usual.  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually slept through the night.  His shift was usually from 4 p.m. until 8 p.m., and then again from 4 a.m. until 8 a.m., but lately he’d been putting in a lot more hours due to Captain Fellowes' fondness for drink.  Kit tried to stretch, but the sharp pain in his left arm reminded him of the reason he got to sleep in the first place.  He put a hand to his forehead.  He was still a little warm, but not as fevered as last night.  Louisa’s ministrations must have helped.  His arm was still on fire, swollen and oozing blood, but the linen bandage wasn’t soaked, just stained.  Definitely better.  Kit was about to get up, but decided to give himself a few more minutes.  No one had come to call him back to the bridge, so things must be under control for the moment. 

He
’d been enjoying a most pleasant dream before he woke up.  He closed his eyes, trying to recapture the image of a naked Louisa moaning beneath him, as he sheathed himself in her body.  Had he really asked her to marry him last night?  He had.  And he’d meant it.  It was time for him to stop grieving for Helena and get on with his life.  Louisa was the first woman to really capture his interest in a long time.  There was something different about her.  Something he couldn’t put his finger on.  Most women her age were either married or in service, but she didn’t seem concerned by her single state.  He failed to believe that no one had wanted to marry her.  Nonsense.  She was too beautiful not to have any suitors.  There was something else there.  Something he would discover in time.  She seemed very guarded sometimes, almost tense, but at other times she allowed herself freedoms that most women would find improper, like wearing her hair down, or touching him absentmindedly when speaking to him.  Strange. 

Kit’s thoughts turned to his dream.  As an unmarried woman she would be expected to be a maiden, but he had his doubts.  Louisa looked like a woman who had known love, physical love. 
She’d mentioned a man last night.  Maybe she had been his mistress.  Kit shifted on the berth, easing the tightness of his breeches.  He hadn’t had a woman in a long time, and his stones were aching with need.

“Enter,” Kit called out as a timid knock sounded on the door.

“Begging your pardon, sir, but you are wanted on the bridge.  Mr. Prescott is organizing a service for Captain Fellowes.  He passed during the night.”  Daniel Willis looked forlorn as he handed Kit a cup of ale.  “I thought you might be thirsty.”

“Thank you, Mr. Willis.  I am.  I will be up shortly.  Have you see
n Mistress Jamison this morning?”  Kit swung his legs over the side of his bed, looking around for his boots.  He needed a clean shirt too.

“No, sir.  I haven’t seen her.  May I assist you?”

“Yes, get me a clean shirt from that chest over there, and help me with my boots.  I am actually famished this morning.   Are there any rolls left?  I can’t stomach those biscuits today.”  Kit allowed the boy to help him with his boots and pushed his arm carefully into the sleeve of the shirt.

“I’ll go check, Mr. Sheridan.
I mean, Captain.” 

“Daniel, you
acquitted yourself well, son.  You took good care of him.  It’s not your fault.”  Kit could see the relief on the boy’s face. 

“Thank you, sir.  I appreciate that.  Now, let me see about those rolls.”

Kit drained the cup of ale and shrugged on his coat before going up on deck.  He was the captain now, and he had to take charge. 
I have a battered ship, a skeleton crew, and a long way to go
, he thought. 
At least the cargo is intact, for now
.

Most of the
crew was already on deck, gathered around the reverend who stood on a barrel, Bible in hand.  Captain Fellowes’ body laid before him, sewn into sacking and ready for his final journey.  Kit went up to the front to pay his respects, the sailors parting to let him pass.  The rain had stopped, but the sky was still the color of dirty laundry, everything damp and dripping.  The reverend took a deep breath and began, his voice quivering with emotion.

Man
that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live, and is full of misery. He cometh up and is cut down like a flower; he flieth as it were a shadow, and never continueth in one stay. In the midst of life we be in death: of whom may we seek for succor but of thee, O Lord, which for our sins justly art displeased. Yet, O Lord God most holy, O Lord most mighty, O holy and most merciful savior, deliver us not into the bitter pains of eternal death. Thou knowest, Lord, the secrets of our hearts, shut not up thy merciful eyes to our prayers: but spare us Lord most holy, O God most mighty, O holy and merciful savior, thou most worthy judge eternal, suffer us not at our last hour for any pains of death to fall from thee.

Kit bowed his head, listening to the words
.  He would miss Captain Fellowes.  He had been a good man and a great captain; when he was sober.  It would be tough filling his shoes.  The reverend finished the funeral service, and asked for a moment of  silence, before several burly seamen heaved the body overboard.  It was time get on with things.

The sun was fully up now, warming Alec’s shoulders and lighting the way.  He had become completely separated from the other men, but hoped that they’d signal him if they found Finn.  They all had hunting horns to use for communication.  One long blow meant that they found Finn.  Two blows meant they needed help.  Alec hadn’t heard anyone blow their horn, so he continued his search.  He wished he could check on Valerie, but he couldn’t lose precious time going back to the house.

The sound of a waterfall caught his attention
, and he decided to investigate.  At the very least he would get a drink.    Alec stepped out of the dense woods into a lovely glade.  There was a small waterfall rushing into a pool of water that looked like an oval mirror in the middle of the forest.  The surface of the pool sparkled in the sunshine, reflecting the pristine sky and wispy clouds lazily floating overhead.  Alec sank to his knees and swallowed a few handfuls of water.  It was cold and sweet, reviving him slightly.  He stood up, looking around carefully, his eyes sliding over every surface, looking for clues. 

Alec saw something closer to the waterfall
.  It was worth checking.  He touched the surface of the rock and looked at his finger.  Blood.  He stood still, taking in every detail of the ground before him.  There it was.  More blood and a trail of flattened grass.  Something large had been dragged toward the waterfall.  Alec loaded his gun and began to follow the path on silent feet.  He wasn’t sure what to expect, and didn’t want to startle a wounded animal, if that’s whose blood he found.  There were more smears of blood as he got closer to the water’s edge; then they disappeared.  The mist from the waterfall was making his face damp, but he got closer and closer, looking through the gushing water; then he saw it -- the narrow mouth of a cave, hidden behind the waterfall.  Alec pressed himself against the stone, inching through the narrow tunnel between rock and water to the opening.  It was dark and dank inside the cave, but Alec thought he heard ragged breathing.

“Finn!  Finn!”

“Oh, Daddy.”  He heard the boy calling as he crawled through the narrow opening.  Finn lay on his side, wet and shivering.  His teeth were chattering from the cold, his leg at an odd angle.  Alec finally got to his side and put his gun down to examine Finn. 

“
I think my leg is broken.  I can’t move it, and it hurts so badly.  I thought I would die here.”  Finn was sobbing like a baby, his arms around Alec’s neck.  “I want to get out of here.  I want to go home.”

“I
’m going to move you very slowly.  Hold my gun.”  Finn gave Alec a pitiful look in the darkness. 

“Is it going to hurt?”

“Most likely, but you have to be strong.  There is no other way for me to get you out. Ready?”  Finn nodded and let out a shriek as Alec moved him a few inches.  “Finn, you have to help me.  Push off with your good leg.  It will go faster that way.”  Alec tried again.  By the time he got Finn to the mouth of the cave, the boy was nearly insensible with pain, screaming and crying for Alec to stop.  “I have to get you to the bank, and then we’ll figure something out.  Just a little bit longer, son.”  Finn nodded, and Alec began to pull him again, ignoring his pitiful whimpering. 

At long last he laid Finn on the grass, letting the sun warm him and dry his wet clothes.  “How in the world
…?”  Finn was still crying softly, but he blew his nose on Alec’s handkerchief and tried to answer.

“I went out to set the traps
, and I just kept going.  I wanted to explore this part of the forest.  I heard the sound of the waterfall and thought I’d have a swim.  I was hot, and the water looked so cool and inviting.  I swam for a while.  It was wonderful.  After I got out and got dressed, I started walking on the rocks.  That’s when I slipped and fell.  I didn’t know what to do.  I was far from home, and no one knew where I was.  I just lay there for a while, thinking about my options when I heard them in the distance.  I think there were three of them.”

“Who did you hear?” 

“Indians.  They were talking and laughing and making no effort to stay quiet, so I thought I must be on their land.  I didn’t know what they would do if they found me, so I crawled into the cave.  I’d seen it while I was swimming.  The Indians stopped by the water and had a drink, but they left soon after.  It was getting dark, and I was afraid to come out.  My leg was hurting even more after crawling into the cave, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk home.  I thought it was safer to stay in the cave through the night, and then try to get home in the morning.  I was thinking of making a crutch out of a sturdy branch.”  Finn took Alec’s hand and squeezed it. 

“I am so glad you came.  My leg became so swollen during the
night that I couldn’t get out of the cave.  I thought I was going to die.”  Finn was crying again.  Alec stroked his hair and tried to comfort him.  He’d obviously been terrified.  Now he had to figure out how to get him home.  They were far away and it would be difficult, not to mention painful for Finn, to carry him all the way home.  Maybe he could call the men, and they could make some kind of stretcher.  On the other hand, if there were Indians nearby, it probably wasn’t wise to announce their presence.

“Finn, I
’m going to have to carry you.  It’s going to hurt, but that is the only way for me to get you home.  Your mother must be sick with worry by now.  We need to hurry.”  Finn nodded miserably. 

“All right, Dad.  I
’m ready.”

It took Alec nearly three hours to carry the boy home.  They stopped periodically for Alec to take a rest and for Finn to catch his breath.  The boy was nearly
unconscious by the time Alec finally caught sight of the house.  He didn’t want to alarm Finn, but he felt as if he might drop him.  The boy weighed more than he thought, and Alec was barely managing to hold him after such a long walk.  He had blown his horn once they got closer to Whitfield land, but no one came to help him.  Alec wondered if they went back some time during the night.

Alec was just approaching the house when he heard Valerie scream.  Oh, God.  What now?

The mood on the ship following the days of the pirate attack was morbid, to say the least.  Empty hammocks swayed with the motion of the ship, relieved of their human cargo.  The mess was half-empty, and the deck was practically deserted, as silent sailors went about their business; mourning their fallen friends and captain.  As if by some unspoken agreement, no one mentioned the Collins family.  Louisa either paced her cabin, or tossed and turned on her berth in a vain attempt at sleep.  Thoughts of Mrs. Collins and Anne permeated her every waking moment.  There was nothing more to be done for the captain or the dead sailors, but the women were still alive somewhere out there; suffering God only knew what.  Luisa hoped they were together, but even if they were, they wouldn’t be for long. 

Louisa gave up on sleep and went up on deck.  Some fresh air always helped
, and at this hour of the morning there would be almost no one about.  Mr. Prescott was now the first mate, so he would be on the bridge instead of Kit, and Louisa was grateful for that.  She just wanted to be alone for a while, and as much as she yearned for Kit’s company, he couldn’t help her come to terms with the events of the past few days. 

The wind whipped Louisa’s skirts as she emerged on deck
, making her glad she’d worn her cap.  The sails above her head snapped as they filled with air, white-capped waves covering the surface of the ocean like a wooly quilt.  The sun would just be coming up, but the morning was misty, the sky overcast and angry looking.  Louisa hoped there wouldn’t be another storm.  Her face was damp from the morning mist, and she absentmindedly tucked a stray curl under her cap to keep it from getting wet. 

Louisa nodded to a passing seaman
, and made her way toward the prow of the ship.  She liked the spot behind the figurehead.  For some reason, it made her feel calmer to see the carved body of the woman, staring straight ahead to their destination, unperturbed by anything that happened on board.  Her yellow hair gleamed with moisture, her arms crossed over her bared breasts in false modesty.  Louisa thought of her as Gloria, named after the ship. 

She was surprised to see the reverend sitting on an overturned crate
; his eyes closed in contemplation.  Louisa thought of turning back, but he called out to her and waved a hand in invitation.  Normally, she would have been annoyed, but today she actually welcomed the reverend’s company.  He was the only passenger left, save for herself and Agnes, and Louisa hoped that in his capacity as a cleric, he might help her deal with the aftermath of the attack.

“Good morning, Reverend.  I didn’t expect to see you up so early.”  Louisa sat down next to him
, keeping a proper distance, and folded her hands in her lap. 

“I never got to sleep,
Mistress Jamison.  Like you, I haven’t been able to come to terms with what’s happened.”  The reverend sighed and looked at Louisa.  She could see the dark shadows under his eyes, the fatigue etched into his features.  He looked tormented; and Louisa felt sorry for the man. 

“Shall we pray together?”  She never expected those words to leave her mouth, but she thought it
was what the reverend needed, and was willing to do it for his sake.  Truth be told, she didn’t mind the comfort of prayer at that very moment.

“Thank you,
Mistress Jamison, but to tell you the truth, I’d rather talk, if you don’t object.”

Louisa nodded mutely, stunned by the reverend’s sudden need to treat her as a confidant.  “Of course, Reverend.”  She sat back quietly, letting him unburden himself.  The reverend looked out over the deck, fixating on the seagull perched high up in the rigging.

“I wanted to be a clergyman ever since I was a little boy.  Some boys dream of being great soldiers, and others long for a life at Court, but I always wanted to dedicate myself to God.  My brothers laughed at me and called me a “weakling” when I didn’t want to join in their games and preferred to sit by myself, contemplating the miracles of our Lord’s creation.  I never doubted my calling; never wavered.  I know that some people don’t share my faith, or love our Lord Jesus as much as I do, but I’d always hoped that I could show them the way and lead them to the path of righteousness.”  Louisa groaned inwardly, but remained silent and let the reverend speak. 

“I can’t make sense of any of this,
Mistress Jamison.  For the first time in my life I am lost and confused, and can’t find the answers in the Bible.  I watched countless men butchered in cold blood, but that’s not what undid me.  It was the fate of the Collins family. 

Men have died to protect their freedom and possessions from the beginning of time, but
the kidnapping of two helpless women, and the suicide of that poor man, haunt me.  Mr. Collins chose a path forbidden by the Church, knowing full well that his eternal soul would face damnation, rather than go on without his wife and daughter.  To be perfectly honest, I don’t blame him in the least.  I know that as a man of God I should condemn his act, but I simply can’t.  I feel pity for him and want to beg God not to judge him too harshly. 

Now, when I think of the women
, is where my faith is tested even more severely.  Our Lord is merciful and just.  Why would he subject those two poor lambs to such an ordeal?  The fate they face is worse than any death.  They will be abused and humiliated at the hands of their heathen captors, and dwell in a hell on earth before they even meet their Maker.  I can’t make sense of it.  I simply can’t.  Maybe I am not fit to be a religious leader.  How can I preach the word of the Lord when I sit here questioning his judgment?”

Louisa reached out and took the reverend’s hand without thinking, surprised that he didn’t yank it away.  She just held it for a moment, thinking of what to say.  She had never been a very religious person, but she could understand his confusion and emotional turmoil.
  Most people in the future questioned the existence and ways of God early in their lives, but in this place and time, this would be considered heresy.  People accepted God the way the accepted that the sun rose and set each day.  For a man who’d been steadfast in his faith all his life, to doubt his beliefs at this stage would be earth-shattering.

“Reverend, we are not meant to understand the will of God, simply to follow it. 
It’s your duty as a clergyman to help what’s left of this crew to find solace, and accept the terrible loss we’ve all suffered.  I’m tormented by thoughts of Mrs. Collins and Anne, but I hope that by some miracle, they won’t suffer too much at the hands of their captors.  They are good, pious women, and the good Lord will protect them.” 

Louisa hoped that the reverend couldn’t see through her falseness.  She didn’t believe for a moment that the Collins women would be spared, but she couldn’t do anything to help them, so she had to help the reverend instead.  She didn’t particularly like the man, but she could see that he was genuinely suffering
, and wanted to do what she could. 

“Are you saying that there was some divine purpose to this attack?”  Revere
nd Blackley turned his gray gaze on Louisa, studying her as if he was seeing her for the first time.

“I am saying that I don’t know the will of God
, and neither do you.  We must accept what’s given to us, and allow our faith to help us overcome our grief and confusion.  I look to you, Reverend, for guidance and comfort.”  Louisa allowed her eyes to slide away from the reverends face, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze.

“I thank you,
Mistress Jamison.  I knew the good Lord wouldn’t let me doubt him.  He has spoken through you, and I will redouble my efforts and lead this crew in spiritual healing.  I must admit that I had my doubts about you, but I see now that you are a very pious woman indeed.  I must return to my cabin at once and prepare a sermon on the power of faith.  God bless you and keep you.”  With that, the reverend rose from his perch and practically ran along the deck in the direction of the stairs leading down to the cabins.

“Glad I could help,” said Louisa to his retreating back and got up, turning her gaze to Gloria.  “And what do you think?”  She had about as much faith in God as she had in the carved woman in front of her, but she was glad that she
’d been able to help the reverend.  She had no idea where the words came from, but they seemed to offer him comfort.  Luisa genuinely wished that she had some faith.  At the moment, things seemed very bleak, and she would have liked to know the will of God, if he was up there somewhere.