A Leap of Faith (The Hands of Time: Book 2) (13 page)

Valerie felt another contraction sink its teeth into her as she heard the commotion downstairs.  She needed to know if the searchers had found Finn.  She tried to rise, but Bridget stopped her.  “I will go.  Ye’re in no condition to be walking down the stairs.”  She sprinted out the door and left Valerie alone with her pain.  The contractions began shortly after her water broke, getting closer at an alarming rate.  Valerie gritted her teeth, waiting for the pain to subside.  This was her third labor, and still she couldn’t believe the severity of pain that her body could put her through.  She tried to focus on what was happening downstairs, rather than allow her mind to roam free.  She had spent the whole day worrying about Finn, but subconsciously she was also terrified for her baby. 

She wasn’t due for another two months.  She knew that plenty of premature babies
survived, but the chances were diminished in the seventeenth century.  What if the baby’s lungs weren’t developed, and it needed to be on a respirator?  Valerie tried to push the frightening thoughts away.  Bridget said that everything was going well and reassured her repeatedly.  She didn’t know exactly how many weeks along she was, but she was closer to eight months, based on the date of her last period.  The baby might be small, but it would be fully formed by now.  Another contraction drove all thoughts from Valerie’s mind, making her ball her hands into fists and grind her teeth.  Sweat broke out on her forehead, and her legs shook as the pain tore through her mercilessly, oblivious to her fears.

The door opened
, and Alec walked in.  He looked awful.  His hair was all tangled with bits of leaves and twigs in it, his clothes filthy and damp.  There were scratches on his face, and he looked near collapse.  Valerie raised herself on her elbow.  “Did you find him?”

Alec nodded before sinking into
the chair vacated by Bridget.  “He’s going to be all right.  His leg is broken and needs a splint, but he is all right.  He had a terrible fright.”

“I want to see him,” Valerie moaned. 

“I’m afraid you are going to have to wait until you’ve delivered.” 

“No. 
This might be my last chance to see my son.  Please, Alec, bring him here.”  Valerie gave him a stern look just as the next contraction took her breath away.

“
Sweetheart, don’t talk like that.  You’re not going to die.  Bridget said everything is progressing normally.”  He looked scared, so Valerie softened her tone.

“Nevertheless, I need to see him.  Please.” 

“All right.  I will bring him to see you.  He’s lying down on his bed, eating hot buns.”  Alec got up, ready to go back down again.

“Alec, are you all right?  You look dreadful.”  The pain subsided, giving Valerie a momentary break.

“I just need to sleep for a day or two and I will be right as rain.  I’m getting old, Val.”  He gave her a searching look, trying to figure out if she was still angry. 

“Alec,
I don’t believe what Charles said.  I never did.”

“It’s not true, Val
erie.  I swear to you on everything that’s holy, that I never touched the girl.  Never.  I don’t know who killed her, if anyone at all, but I will find out.  Just not today.”  Alec kissed her tenderly on the forehead and left the room.

Kit looked around his new home.  He’d moved into the captain’s cabin a few days ago, and was still getting used to his new accommodations.  This cabin was a far cry from the berthing of the first mate.  It was much larger, with an actual bed hung with crimson velvet curtains, and a trunk for his clothes.  The windows spanned the entire width of the stern, making it appear light and spacious.  The walnut desk, placed before the windows to capture the light, held a naval log, inkwell and several sharpened quills, as well as various nautical instruments.  A bookshelf, containing texts on navigation, astronomy and geography, was built-in below the row of windows to maximize use of space.  A round table in the center of the cabin, which was used only for dining and entertaining company, completed the decor.  Every available surface gleamed with polish, painstakingly administered by the steward every day. 

Kit finished shaving and tied his hair back with a thong.  His company would be along shortly.
He had invited Louisa to dine with him, and had to admit, he was a little nervous.  His arm felt much better, thanks to her, so he had no trouble getting dressed.  The table was set for two, and the steward would bring up the first course as soon as Louisa arrived.  Kit wondered if she would bring her maid along as a chaperone.  She did when she dined with Captain Fellowes, but he fervently hoped she would come alone.

He answered the knock himself, inviting Louisa into the cabin.  She looked lovely, with her hair piled high on her head
, and obviously recently washed.  Kit could still smell the lavender soap she used and took a discreet whiff, enjoying the fragrance.  He pulled out a chair, inviting her to sit down.  Cook had promised some soup and roast fowl, which would be a welcome break from the salt pork and boiled potatoes everyone had been having for days.  She deserved a decent meal and some good wine.  Captain Fellowes made sure that his cabin was well stocked.  Kit poured Louisa a glass of red and sat down across from her.  They made small talk as the steward served the soup, waiting for him to depart.

“How is your arm, Christopher?”  Louisa asked.  He could see that she was feeling a
trifle self-conscious under his intense gaze.  She took a spoonful of soup and snuck a peek at him from under her lashes.

“I am much improved.  Thank you.  How is the soup?”

“Delicious.”

“You never gave me an answer.”  She looked up, startled.

“How did you go from soup to marriage in three seconds?”   she asked with a smile. 

“I
’m not one for wasting time.  I hope to convince you to marry me between courses.  We have about ten minutes until the next course comes.”  He watched her blush, enjoying her reaction.

“Kit, we barely know each other.”

“A lot of marriages have been built on less.  Why don’t you tell me about yourself?  Where were you born?”  The question seemed to fluster her further, and she looked away from him, focusing on the soup.

“Why don’t we start with
you?  Where were you born?” 

“I was born in London in 1585.  My father was a ship’s captain
, and had sailed with Sir Francis Drake before taking command of his own ship.  He fought against the Spanish Armada, and was awarded a title by Queen Elizabeth for his bravery.”  Kit took a sip of wine and smiled at Louisa.  “What else would you like to know, my sweet?”

“What about your mother?  Do you have any siblings?”

“I have an older sister from my father’s first marriage.  My father was nearly forty-five when I was born, and my mother nineteen.  I am their only child.”  She seemed to completely miss the bit about a title being bestowed on his father, and he was glad.  He didn’t want her to think he was trying to impress her with his lineage.  She obviously hadn’t heard of Lord Robert Sheridan. 

“How did you meet your wife?” 
She must be concerned that I still love my wife
, Kit thought. 
That’s why she’s reluctant to give me an answer
. 

“Helena was my mother’s second cousin.  My mother took her in when her parents died.  I suppose my mother was lonely with my father away at sea for at least six months out of the year.  Helena was the daughter she never had.  I went to sea when I was ten years old as a cabin boy.  I sailed with my father, who tried very hard not to show me preferential treatment.  Helena was always there when I came ashore.”

“Did your father succeed in not showing you favor?” 

“Not even close.  He was stern in front of the crew, but when we were alone together
, he was very affectionate and fatherly.  He always saved little treats for me and bought me presents when the ship came into foreign ports.  It was a good life.”  Kit still missed his father desperately.  The old man suffered horribly for many months before he finally died, leaving a terrible hole in Kit’s heart.

“Is he still alive?”  Louisa asked, as if reading his thoughts.

“He had a tumor in his stomach.  It took its time killing him.  He died when I was twenty-five.”

“I
’m sorry.  It sounds as if you two were close.”  Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and Kit reached over and took her hand.

“I take it you lost your own parents.”  She just nodded, a tear sliding down her cheek.

Kit let go of Louisa’s hand as the steward pushed open the door, balancing a heavy tray.  The chicken smelled heavenly, making his mouth water.  He waited for the steward to serve them and leave. 

“So, have you made up your mind?”  She looked up at him, a smile playing
on her lips, and pushed away her plate.  Louisa walked around the table and sat in Kit’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.  Her lips came down on his, taking his breath away, as he pulled her closer, kissing her hard.  Her mouth opened under his, her tongue sliding into his mouth, exploring him shamelessly.  Kit felt himself grow hard against her thigh, and shifted a little to avoid shocking her, although at this point he wasn’t sure she’d be shocked.  Louisa obviously knew what she was doing.  She slid her hand downward and began to rub her palm against his cock, driving him mad with lust.  Kit grabbed her wrist and broke the kiss.  Louisa looked momentarily shocked as she looked into his eyes. 

“Louisa, I can’t.  You must see that.” 

“See what?”  She seemed genuinely confused as he shook his head in wonder. 

“I don’t know what kind of men you’ve known, but I am an honorable man
, and I will not lie with you without marrying you first.”  Kit was confused by the shock on her face.  What had he said that surprised her so?  Most women longed for marriage, but Louisa seemed willing to take him to bed without accepting his proposal.  She slid off his lap and went back to her seat, obviously perplexed by his reaction. 

“Louisa, I don’t understand.
  Have I offended you in some way?”

“I
’m sorry, Mr. Sheridan.  I think I’ll take my leave now.”  Kit watched helplessly as Louisa walked out of the cabin. 

Louisa couldn’t bear to go back to her stifling cabin, so she decided to take a walk on deck and prayed that she wouldn’t run into Reverend Blackley.  Her cheeks burned with humiliation, as she willed herself not to cry.  She wasn’t sure why she was so upset, but she felt as if Kit had just kicked her in the stomach.  She had never been rejected by a man before and although his reasons were honorable, it still hurt her terribly.  She’d been thinking with her twenty-first century brain, and she made a terrible mistake.  She just wanted him to love her, to touch her.  She couldn’t contemplate marriage without knowing what it would be like to kiss him and feel him. 

She wouldn’t be contemplating marriage at all if she wasn’t so scared. 
She had always thought of herself as being strong, but at the moment she felt anything but.  She had never truly been alone before she went back in time, and she desperately wanted to belong to someone, and have someone care of her.  She had to admit that the idea of marrying Kit Sheridan gained appeal with every passing minute.  He made her feel safe and protected.  Nothing bad would happen to her as long as he was there, and the fear that constantly gnawed at her stomach was almost gone when she was with Kit. 

Of course, there were also drawbacks to getting married. 
She was just trying to understand this world she landed in and she was terrified of doing something that would ruin everything.  This wasn’t 2012.  In 1620, her husband would become her lord and master, and would be able to control her in every way that mattered.  She didn’t think Kit would be a dominating or cruel husband; she simply wasn’t ready to make that kind of commitment to him.  She needed to find Valerie, first and foremost.

Louisa was shaking with frustrated desire as she stomped around the deck, trying to calm down.  What had she done?  What possessed her to act like that?  Now he would think her a w
anton hussy and treat her accordingly.  She should have known better than trying to seduce a man like Kit.  All he wanted was to give her his name and protection, and she threw it back in face and insulted his honor.  What a fool!  What would their relationship be like now?

Kit stared at the door of his cabin, still reeling from Louisa’s reaction.  What had he done wrong?  Should he have declared his love for her?  Was that what kept her from accepting him?  She seemed very willing to let him take her, so why refuse his proposal?  Maybe she wasn’t free to marry.  She seemed very secretive about her past.  Could it be that she was running away from an abusive husband?  It didn’t seem that way.  God, what a fool he had been.  He’d humiliated her by rejecting her advances, and now she would never forgive him.  He’d ruined everything. 

Kit rose from the table and headed for the door.  He would go find her and
apologize.  He wasn’t sure what he would be apologizing for, but an apology seemed to be in order, and he didn’t want to put it off and create tension between them.  He would give her a little time and try again.  They still had several weeks until they reached Virginia.  He would pursue her more carefully, giving her time.  She was like a skittish horse.  She simply needed to be reassured and gentled.

Kit knocked on Louisa’s cabin door, surprised to face a startled Agnes.  “She is not here, sir.  I thought she was dining with y
e tonight.” 

“Ah, we had a slight misunderstanding.  I’ll go look for her.”  Kit went up on deck.  Where else would she be? 

He saw her standing alone behind the figurehead.  She’d let down her hair, and it was blowing in the evening breeze, silvery in the moonlight.  Kit could see by her posture that she was tense and upset, and cursed himself yet again for being a complete idiot. 

“Louisa?”   She spun around at the sound of his voice.  He could see that she
’d been crying.  “I am so sorry.  I didn’t mean to offend you.  I believed I was doing the right thing.”  At this point, he had no idea what the right thing was, but he’d be damned if he didn’t figure it out soon.

“
I can’t imagine what you must think of me.”  She turned away from him, obviously embarrassed.

“I think I want you more than I’ve eve
r wanted any woman in my life.”  She looked up at him, her eyes full of confusion.  What did she want?  He had no idea, but he knew damn well what he wanted.  He took a step toward her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her hard.  If this was what she wanted, he would give it to her.  Louisa stiffened in his arms for a second, but then she kissed him back.  Her relaxed against his, her arms going about his neck, pulling him closer.  She tasted so good.  He pushed her up against the railing, cupping her breast and grinding his body against hers.  He was so enflamed, he could have taken her right there, but he couldn’t jeopardize Louisa’s reputation or undermine his authority as captain.   

Kit
let her go reluctantly and studied her face.  She was looking up at him with such longing, that he strongly considered throwing her over his shoulder and taking her back to his cabin, but he took a step back and willed himself to behave. 

“Kit, I can’t marry you.  I’ve sacrificed more than you can possibly imagine to find my sister
, and that’s what I must do.  Valerie is the only family I have left.  I can’t make any commitments until I find her.  Can you understand that?”

“Do you think I would prevent you from looking for your sister?”
He seemed taken aback by her insinuation.

“No, but if I was to become your wife, my first responsibility would be to you
, and I can’t give you that right now.  Besides, you live in England and my sister is in Virginia, at least I hope she is.” 

“What about a compromise?”  Kit asked, feeling more hopeful.  “Let us become betrothed, but we won’t marry until you are ready.  I will help you find your sister when we get to Virginia
, and ask her for her blessing.”

“You really want to marry me that much?”  Louisa seemed surprised, but he could see the beginning of a smile.

“Louisa, I loved my wife, but I’m done with grieving.  I burn for you the way I haven’t burned for anyone in years.  I don’t care where you come from or what you’ve done.  I simply want you to be mine.  I know I sound like a besotted fool, but that’s the truth.”

“Would you still want me if you
found out something about me that you didn’t like?”

Kit was momentarily thrown by the question, but the answer came from his heart and not from his brain.  “Yes, I would still want you.”  He sank down to his knees, taking her hands in his.  “Louisa Jamison, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife whenever you are ready to do so?”

“Yes, Christopher Sheridan.  I will.” 

Kit kissed her hands and got to his feet.
  “Do you still want to seduce me?”

“Only if it won’t offend your girlish sensibilities.”

“I think I’m past that. Come back to my cabin,” he whispered to her.  Louisa just nodded and followed him back wordlessly.  Kit locked the door, turning to Louisa.  She was standing by his bed, unsure of what to do.  Kit removed his coat and threw it over a chair as he approached her.  She just stood there, watching him, her eyes full of desire.  Kit took Louisa by the shoulders, slowly turning her around.  He unlaced the gown as he kissed her neck and shoulders, taking the bodice and sleeves off.  Louisa had already untied her skirt, and she let it fall to the floor, remaining in her chemise. 

Helena had never allowed him to see her naked, but he had a feeling Louisa didn’t share those inhibitions. 
Kit pulled down the chemise, leaving Louisa naked, with her back to him.  He wrapped his arms around her, inhaling her scent, enjoying the feel of her warm skin.  She turned around then, letting him look at her.  She was so beautiful.  Her golden hair tumbled over her shoulders, her breasts full and creamy, filling his hand perfectly as he cupped them.  She gave him an enigmatic smile and pulled his shirt over his head, careful of his wounded arm.  Her fingers undid his laces.  She pushed down his breeches, looking at him, her mouth slightly open and her lips moist. 

Kit pushed her onto the bed, spreading her legs.  He needed to see her, to taste her before he allowed himself the pleasure of taking her.  Louisa moaned as he slid his fingers into her.  She was so
ready.  The fact that she was unashamed aroused him, and he got on top of her, drawing her nipple in his mouth.   Louisa took his hand and pushed it down between her legs, not wanting him to stop what he was doing.  Her fingers wrapped around his cock, stroking and teasing until he thought he would explode. 

Kit pulled her to the end of the bed and grabbed her
hips as he plunged into her.  She wrapped her legs around him, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust.  Kit had just enough sense left to pull out before he spilled his seed onto her stomach.  She wasn’t his wife yet and he didn’t want to get her with child.  He slid down to his knees, resting his head against her thigh.  Louisa was still panting; her eyes closed, a satisfied smile on her lips. 

“Do you still want to marry me, Mr. Sheridan?” she asked playfully.

“Yes,” he said simply.  He did.  He had no idea where she came from or who she’d been with, but he was bewitched by her.  No woman had ever loved him like that before.