A Lesson in Forgiveness (17 page)

“Yes, please. I would like to talk to her.” The groomsman helped Ginny back up onto the seat of the curricle and then climbed up himself. Leisurely driving toward the village, Ginny wondered what had felt so wrong about the situation. It was Saturday, and many servants had only Sundays off. But that wasn't it either. Maybe it was the lack of papers on the desk. Bethany had been to her father's estate manager's office on occasion and remembered that his desk always looked like a hurricane had hit it. But, maybe Mr. Stevens and her husband had cleaned up a lot of outstanding issues in preparation for his extended holiday.

Feeling foolish, she was about to tell the groomsman to forget it when they arrived at the small house on the outskirts of the village. She still would have told him to drive on except that Mrs. Johnson was standing right in her front garden, pulling weeds. Looking up at them, she stood up and walked over to the curricle.

“Good day, my lady.” Mrs. Johnson was of average height and of medium build, not fat, but not skinny either. She had her mousy brown hair pulled back in a bun, which showed off a generous smattering of grey. She wore a large apron, covered in dirt. “What brings you by today?”

“Actually, I was looking for Mr. Stevens and thought maybe you knew his schedule. I hate to bother you on your day off though.”

“My day off, my lady?” Something about Mrs. Johnson's voice was strange, like she thought Ginny must be pretty dense. “Mr. Stevens quit the other day. He told me that you would recommend me to the new estate manager when he is hired, but that I would not be working until then.”

“What? Mr. Stevens quit. My husband didn't tell me that and as far as I know, no one on our staff knows he quit either. When did he leave?” Ginny began to search her brain, but didn't remember meeting him at her wedding. Of course, she had no idea what he looked like, so maybe she did and just didn't remember. God knew her husband hadn't been very good at making introductions.

“Why, it was only a couple of days ago, he told me to stop attending the house.”

“Did he say why he was leaving?”
“Yes, he said he got a new position in Sussex. The house is closer to his aging mother and he wanted to be able to spend more time with her.”

Ginny didn't want to freak out in front of Mrs. Johnson. “Thank you for the information. I will certainly recommend you to the new estate manager when I find one.” Smiling, Ginny took her leave and walked back to the curricle. “Let's go, Thomas. I have to get back and talk to Pearce again.”

“Of course, my lady.”

The ride back wasn't memorable, mostly because Ginny was busy trying to figure out what the hell she was going to do. She'd never run an estate, knew about as much about farming as any of the girls from
Sex in the City
and wasn't even sure she had the right to spend her husband's money. Ginny refused to think it could get any worse because that is precisely when it does.

Back at the house, the groomsman helped Ginny down from the carriage. Just as she walked up the stairs, Bethany's parents opened the door and stared at her. It was plainly written on their faces that they knew something was up and were prepared to torture the information out of her. Taking a deep breath to prepare for the revelation that their new son-in-law was a lout, Ginny entered the house.

“Young lady, we need to speak to you.” Eugenia looked like she'd been suffering from non-stop constipation for a week. Her face was red and pinched, her back ram-rod straight. “Your mother-in-law is waiting upstairs in the family drawing room.”

Oh, goody
, Ginny thought sourly,
now I get to tell Colin's family what a jackass he is too. There is no escaping the good times wagon today!

With a look of pure resignation, Ginny followed her parents up the stairs to the family drawing room. As she entered, both her mother-in-law and sister-in-law turned and watched her enter. Lord Collingsford stood up and appeared very anxious. No one said a word, they just stared at her astonishingly.

“Mother. Father. Why don't you have a seat.” Ginny turned and closed the doors, hoping that the news of her husband's betrayal would not reach any of the other guests who remained.

Turning back to her audience, oddly exhausted from the day's events, Ginny began her grim story. “Colin has decided to take his extended holiday to the Continent. He did not inform me of this himself, I had to find out from the butler. Somehow I'm supposed to run this house and estate on my own.”

Finishing her speech, Ginny went to the nearest chair and dropped into it. Shoulders slumped, eyes half closed, she looked like just relaying the story had been draining. Quite frankly, it had. Ginny didn't have any more energy to exert, so she sat there like a jellyfish, with no backbone. She waited patiently for the commentary. Perhaps, intense questioning from his family.

“Well.” It was surprising to hear Eugenia say so little.

“Oh, my,” came from her mother-in-law.

Assorted sighs were exchanged between Lord and Lady Collingsford.

Last, but not least, came William, Bethany's father. “I will hunt him down and teach him a lesson in gentlemanly behavior. If he never intended to be a husband to you, Bethany, I would never have allowed this union to take place.” His voice was calm, but his face was blotched and red. “It matters not. Bethany, we will immediately petition for an annulment. The scandal will be difficult to weather, but I will not have you live this way.”

Ginny found her first smile of the day. Not that he was really her father, but it was always nice to learn you have a protector. Even if it should have been her husband instead. Unfortunately, she needed to put an end to his hope. “There will be no annulment, Father.”

“Bethany, you will still marry. There are plenty of good men who will overlook this incident when they learn you were the victim.”

“Father, the church will not annul this marriage after... last night.” Ginny felt her gaze turn down. He may not be her real father, but it still wasn't something she wanted to discuss in front of Bethany's family. However, it was what it was and they needed to know.

Peering up to see his reaction, Ginny saw William's shocked face as it turned away from her. “I assumed... I had not realized.”

“Better not to dwell on it. Bethany, I am at your disposal. I know nothing of running an estate, but I am sure together we can make it work.” Ginny smiled at her new mother-in-law. She had been wondering whose side she would take, if she would take sides at all. Ginny didn't want her to hate her son for his bad judgment, and she didn't want to take the brunt of her anger over the possible scandal.

“Thank you, Lady Whitmore,” Ginny whispered.

“And Lord Collingsford and I would be happy to help. And I know that my brother employed the best estate manager around, so he will take care of most of the day to day issues.”

“I'm sorry to tell you, Evelyn, that my husband's estate manager, Mr. Stevens, quit a few days ago and is gone.”

“What!?” William never screamed, hadn't yelled in years and would barely speak above a quiet voice. His exclamation at hearing this news nearly made Eugenia fall out of her chair. William's face took on a dangerous color and he was breathing fast and heavy. Ginny noticed he was sweating, although the room was not warm.

In an effort to placate him before the news gave him a heart attack, Ginny said, “Father, don't alarm yourself. I'm a strong girl and I obviously have lots of help. I will get through this. It was my mistake that led me here. I take full responsibility. Everything will be fine, you'll see.”

Her father seemed to calm down, at least his face wasn't so red anymore. He smiled weakly at her, feeling the force of his own guilt. After all, his daughter did try to tell him that Lord Whitmore hadn't planned on marrying yet. The indiscretion could have been covered up or glossed over, but in his pride, he demanded marriage. Now his only child would be made to suffer for it. “Your mother and I will stay until you are settled. I know a man who would make a great manager. He was recently released from the Warwick estate when the old earl died. I will write him immediately to see if he would be interested in the position here.”

“Thank you father. I wouldn't have had any idea where to hire a new manager.”

Lady Whitmore, whose face held a perplexed look, suddenly inquired, “What mistake led you here?”

Ginny got up and rang the bell. “This is going to take a lot more tea.” Sitting down, she started from the beginning of the story.

Chapter 15

One year later

Colin was lying in bed, a beautiful senorita draped over him like a coat, dark locks spread across his chest. The pension where he was staying had views of the sea. They were so close he could hear the waves crashing against the shore and smell the salt in the air. The small town of San Sebastion was to be his last stop on his journey through the Continent. Truthfully, he was relieved. He missed his home.

Maneuvering his way out from underneath the woman, Colin quietly got dressed. He had no interest in waking her, no interest being with her. His guilt had eaten away at his soul from almost the beginning of his journey. Paris, Milan, Rome, Barcelona, now here. A different woman in each city, a different betrayal of his wedding vows. He could still vaguely remember a time when he was a consummate gentleman, not even speaking to a girl if he thought she would get the wrong impression. Now, he was a rake, taking the advances of any pretty girl who was looking to supplement her meager income by becoming his demimonde.

Colin had lost interest in sex, barely achieving an erection most nights. The woman would never comment, in fear of losing the gifts and dinners, the jewelry and clothing. Most nights, he would lie with the woman, wrapping his arms around her and pretending she was his wife. It took almost a year for him to admit that he wanted his wife back, wanted the relationship they had before the kiss. He wanted someone to talk to, debate with. He wanted her witty intelligence, her uncanny insight. Plainly, he wanted her. Bethany.

He had often considered returning earlier, but was afraid. Was she engaged in an affair with someone else? The threat that Clarendon made on his wedding night constantly played in his mind. Well, he had messed it up and he was still trying to figure out how he would get her back.

With the last girl, the one lying in his bed at the moment, he hadn't even consummated their relationship. She was an after thought: new city, new girl. Esmerelda was beautiful, but only spoke enough English to get by and his Spanish was deplorable. She attached herself to him almost immediately, as he checked into his lodgings. He wondered how many other foreigners she'd slept with, how many other men had made her rounds.

Staring out at the sea, Colin felt tired. Tired of running away. He wanted his life back. He was the Earl of Whitmore and he needed to start living that life again. He needed to be a husband to his wife and possibly a father to his child.

Colin had received many letters from Bethany over the year. At least he thought they were from her. He would refuse to read them, since they would only exacerbate his guilt. It had only recently occurred to him that he may have left Bethany pregnant after their one night together. At this moment, he could be a father, albeit an absent one. The letters had stopped a few months back, leaving him no chance to hear about home.

The situation with Napoleon had gone from tolerable to bad to worse in the course of the year. The treaty of Amiens had been broken and it was no longer safe to be English and within the confines of Napoleon's realm. That was only an excuse. He didn't really need one. It was time. Tomorrow was his one year anniversary. He, of course, would miss it. He vowed it was the last thing he would miss.

Colin booked passage to London. Although arriving in Southhampton would be quicker, Colin was unable to find any ships to take him. The quickest ship was leaving today, at high tide. He would be on it and he would make it up to her. He vowed to be the husband he should have been a year ago. He vowed to be the best husband he could be.

Colin remembered how Bethany had owned up to her mistakes. When they were caught kissing, she took immediate responsibility. She was willing to forgo his proposal and live with the scandal. She never wanted to ruin his life. In exchange, Colin wanted to punish her. He made her marry him, led her to believe that it would work out and then left her to clean up the mess. His staff was competent, so she had little to worry about, except possibly a pregnancy.

Bowing his head in shame, he set out to get breakfast. He barely ate anymore, barely slept. He was a shell of his former self, but that would change. It would change as soon as he boarded the ship.

Tonight is the night
, Ginny thought longingly. She'd waited an entire year and why? She certainly couldn't say. Her husband had left her the day after their wedding so he could sleep with a bunch of tarts in Europe. It was her turn. Not to sleep with a bunch of tarts, just one tart. And, quite frankly, he had actually changed. No longer the man whore of rumor, he had become the respectable one. He had become what her husband had once been and had ought to have stayed.

 Lord Clarendon was invited to a private dinner. A private dinner that would lead to much more, if she had any say. And since the man had been actively pursuing her for the past year, she didn't think it would take all that much convincing.

Ginny was currently staying with her in-laws, the Collingsfords. She and Evelyn had become the closest of friends over the past year of waiting. Waiting to see if her errant husband would return and beg her forgiveness. The first few months, she thought she could forgive him after what had led to their nuptials. After all, it was her fault. Then, the next few months, she thought she would make him work for it. He would have to be at her beck and call in order to hope for a reconcilation. But today, when he still didn't appear for their one year anniversary, that had sealed the deal. She was going to sleep with Miles, with very little actual sleeping involved.