A Lova' Like No Otha' (8 page)

I rushed into the apartment and went straight to Chase's Bible. I opened it again to the Twenty-third Psalm. But instead of reading just the first line, I went a little further.

“‘The Lord is my shepherd,’” I read out loud. “‘I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.’”

Ha! That's a trip,
I thought. My grass seemed brown and dead.

“‘He leadeth me beside the still waters.’”

That's another thing that's not true for me. I got a whole lot of waves ragin' in my life right now.
“Father,” I prayed, “I need You to say, ‘Peace; be still’ to all these crazy situations I'm going through.”

Before I could read or pray further, I heard a rattling noise in the back room. I looked up, startled. What now? An intruder?

My heart pounded as I heard footsteps coming from the back. My eyes darted around the room, searching for anything that I could use as a weapon. I grabbed my purse. With as much junk as I had in it, I could probably knock someone out cold, or at least give him a good scare. My eyes opened wide when the intruder entered the living room.

“Chase!”

He looked at me blankly.

“What are you doing here?”

“I live here, remember?”

“What happened to training camp?”

He slumped over to the couch. “I got released. Coach let me go.”

I sat beside him and noticed how bad he looked. His red eyes were weary and it looked like he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. I could imagine how he felt. To get a shot at your dream, to get so close to succeeding, to almost accomplish your desire, and then be denied. That had to be the toughest pill to swallow.

“You know what really bugs me?” he muttered. “I was good. I was catching the passes, running the routes; I had the speed. One day I knew I was in, and the next day, I was gone with the wind.”

Chapter 5

I
could empathize with Chase. Though he hadn't been left at the altar, he looked like I felt. As if he'd lost everything. All his hopes and dreams were gone. Remembering the agony that I'd felt, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.

It was as if my touch hit a release button inside of him. Chase began to sob. Never before had a man cried in my arms. It was almost unbearable seeing him break down, but it also felt good because I wanted to help him. I was determined to lift him up the way he had lifted me.

This world seems so unfair, Lord,
I thought.
Why couldn't You give Chase what he wanted so desperately?
It was hard enough for me to get over the Lord not allowing me to have the man I wanted, but it wasn't like I was a perfect Christian. I felt pure shame for all the times Devyn and I had been intimate. It looked as though I was turning into a tramp, which was what my poor mother had become after my dad died. I couldn't be mad at God for not granting me my wish. God sure didn't owe me any favors.

But Chase? He had told me long ago that he was still a virgin and planned to stay that way until he was married. He studied the Word every day. He was practically a walking Bible. He wasn't perfect, but he was the closest thing to Christ I'd ever seen. So why didn't God allow him his heart's desire? It didn't make sense.

“I can't believe God would allow this.”

Chase lifted his head off my shoulder and shook his head. “You know what, Zoe? I'm upset, but there is one thing I know. One of my favorite Scriptures says that all things work together for good for those who love Him. I know God's got a reason for taking me through this.”

“I can't believe you're saying this—you wanted to be on that team so badly.”

“I know,” he said with a sniff, “but I just gotta figure out what God's tryin' to say to me. I can't miss it. I don't want to block the blessing. I just gotta praise Him, ask Him for strength and then thank Him.” Chase took my hand. “I look at it this way. One guy at training camp got a dislocated shoulder. Another messed up his knee. Even though I got cut from the team, at least I'm healthy.”

I couldn't believe the strength Chase already had. Even though he'd broken down, he was still ready to find his blessings.

He said, “Physically, I'm fine.”

“You sure are fine,” I joked, stroking his muscular arm that seemed bigger than before. “You really worked out in Seattle, didn't you?”

He laughed and I was pleased that I eased his pain a little.

“It's gonna be okay,” I assured him. “You're right. God's still in this. He knows what's going on.” I wanted to believe the words that I said, but I wasn't sure.

“Yeah,” Chase said, eyeing me. “He does.” We hugged each other again, but this time I didn't feel Chase's grief. This time, there was nothing but joy. Chase's situation with the NFL hadn't changed, but he had an inner peace that went beyond his circumstances. Even though he'd been cut from the Seattle team, he knew that he was still a part of God's team.

As we held each other, I prayed that I could have just a little of the light that God had obviously given to Chase.

Chase spent the next two days fasting and lifting God up, thanking the Lord for loving him and saving him. I had never seen anything like it. He became stronger, developing a strength and beauty I'd never witnessed in anyone. I made sure to eat only when Chase wasn't with me, so his fast wouldn't be any harder on him.

While Chase fasted, prayed and read the Bible, I spent my time checking out the classifieds every day. The end of the month was approaching, and I still didn't have a job or a place to live. Now, neither did Chase.

On the third day of Chase's fast, I listened from the hallway as he spent an hour just praising God. As I listened, I waited for Chase to ask God for something—a request to get back on the Seattle Storm or to have another team call him. Anything that would make God work for him. Yet when Chase finished, he had spent the minutes only praising. I went into the living room and sat next to him.

He was breathing heavy, as if he'd just finished working out.

“Why do you spend so much time just thanking the Lord? I mean, you need to start figuring out what you're gonna do with your life. That's what I've been doing. Checking out want ads, trying to find a new apartment.”

“I gotta worship God, Zoe. He can work a miracle anytime. But first He wants to make sure I love Him more than football or anything else in my life. If God wanted to, He could make me a star in the league. But if I can't thank Him when I got nothin', I could easily get off focus when He gives me everything.”

I shook my head. “So you still think God is going to work things out for you with the Seattle Storm?”

“I'm not saying He's gonna give me football. Maybe I'll go back to the university and get my degree. I'm only one semester away from finishing. But right now, the only thing I want to do is worship Christ. I've got so much to be thankful for, I just can't stop telling Him about it.”

What do you really have to be thankful for was what I wanted to ask him. But I remained silent, keeping my thoughts to myself.

Chase placed his hand on my cheek and stroked my face. “You are so beautiful, Zoe. I feel blessed that God brought you to me.”

I smiled. If those sweet words had come from any other guy, I would have thought he was full of it. But I knew Chase was sincere. I was starting to fall in love with him, and not because he worked hard to make me feel that way. The love I felt for Chase was developing slowly and naturally.

Part of me wanted to fight my feelings because, after all, Chase was Devyn's friend. And yet there was another side: Chase had always made it very clear that he thought I deserved better. Maybe he thought that I deserved him.

I think it was seeing Chase's love for Christ that made me realize I was ready for Chase to love me. It was time for me to tell him.

I turned to face him directly but the telephone rang. I sighed at first, but as I crossed the room to answer, I felt a sense of relief. The diversion of the phone got me off the hook. Maybe I wasn't ready to tell Chase what I was feeling.

“Hello?” I said into the receiver.

“This is Jerry Sykes from the Seattle Storm. Is Chase Farr in?”

“Yes! Yes. Hold on a second.” I stumbled over my words. With the biggest smile on my face, I mouthed to Chase, “It's the team!”

He jumped up and grabbed the phone. I paced the floor and listened for what seemed like an eternity. Then Chase said, “Yes, sir, that would be great. I'll see you Monday. Thank you.” He hung up and looked at me with a serious expression I couldn't read.

“Well? What's up? Tell me!”

Suddenly a huge smile lit up his precious face. “They want to sign me, but not on the team. They want to put me on the practice squad.”

“What's that?” I frowned, though I wanted to be excited. “If you're on the team, you're on the team, right?”

“The practice squad lines up against the starting guys and practices with them through the week. We're the punching bags. I won't be traveling to away games and I won't suit up for home games. And it's half the salary I would've got if I made the team.”

“Hey, it beats the salary you have now, right?” I joked. “Something's better than nothing.”

He chuckled. “You're right about that. Seventy grand a year ain't exactly chicken feed.”

“What!” I squealed. “How can you not be happy with that kind of money?”

“Oh, I'm very happy. But not just about the salary. I know God's got more for me. You just watch. The practice squad today, twelve touchdowns tomorrow!”

I laughed.

“Man, I gotta get packed. Tomorrow's the last preseason game. I've got to fly up there tomorrow so I'll be ready for the first game of the season, September first, which is next Monday!”

“This is so great!” I flew to him and threw my arms and legs around him. He cupped his hands under me and held me close. “We have to celebrate,” I said. “Let's go somewhere special.”

“Great idea. A nice restaurant sounds mighty good to me right now! But first,” he said as he put me down, “I gotta pray.”

He knelt beside the couch. I couldn't believe that the first thing Chase wanted to do was pray, but I joined him. He took both of my hands in his.

“Most precious Father, what an awesome God You are. Thank you for showing me that even in the midst of turmoil and strife, when things are cloudy and I can't see what You're doing, You give me the strength to trust You. Lord, I know You can do great things with this opportunity You've given me. I release all my hopes and desires to You, Lord. Help me to be the best stand-in they've ever seen. And yet, keep me humble. May I not get tired with the hits or try to outshine the Cornerbacks. I want to represent You on the field.” He paused and I felt his hands tighten around mine. “And, Lord, thank you for this precious lady You allowed into my life to be my friend and lift me up. Amen.”

“Amen!” I said before I opened my eyes and kissed him on the cheek. “Now, where do you want to eat?”

“Anywhere,” he exclaimed. “I'm starved!”

“Ouch,” I yelled as the crab leg pricked my finger.

“Here, let me do it.” Chase reached over and opened my crab leg, then pulled the meat out of the shell with the seafood fork. He dipped it into the melted butter and held it in front of my mouth. “Here,” he said huskily, “let me feed you.”

With my eyes glued to his, I opened my mouth and he slipped the crab meat onto my tongue. It was a romantic moment. I felt tingly and it wasn't because I was eating my favorite food. It was definitely the server who had me heated up.

But although I was truly enjoying the moment, sadness grew inside me. I was thrilled that Chase was getting the chance to live his dream after all. But on the other hand, I hated the fact that he'd be all the way on the other side of the country away from me. Who knew when I would see him again?

“What's wrong?” Chase asked, interrupting my thoughts. “You don't like the food?”

“Oh, I love the crabs.” I looked up at him and saw concern in his eyes. “Don't worry. I'm okay.”

“No, you're not.”

I was amazed that he was so in tune with what was going on inside me. I continued to insist that I was feeling okay.

“I don't care what you say, Zoe. Something is wrong and I'm not going to stop asking you until you tell me what it is.”

With every day, every action, every word, I was falling more in love with this guy.

“Okay,” I finally admitted. “I'm so happy that you're going back with the Storm, but I'm going to miss you.” I lowered my eyes. I didn't want to see his response in his expression.

Chase reached across the table, took my hand and squeezed it, even though both of our fingers were wet and sticky from the food. “I'll only be a phone call away. Anytime you want to talk, you can call me, okay?”

“Are you sure?” I asked, searching his eyes for more.

“Zoe, do you know what I thought was the best thing about being cut from the team and sent home?” I shook my head. “It was knowing I was going to see you.”

A smile crossed my face, and I could feel myself blushing. I wondered how much longer I'd be able to hold back my feelings for this wonderful man.

When we returned to the apartment, we settled on the couch. Chase put his arm around me as he flipped the channels, finally settling on the news. I wasn't sure if his gesture was romantic or not, but it felt good as I rested my head on his chest.

All of a sudden, there was a loud crash and we both jumped from the couch.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I don't know. I think something outside.”

“It sounded like glass, like a window breaking.”

I slipped on my shoes and Chase walked toward the door. I followed him outside. We weren't the first ones to investigate. The parking lot was filled with our neighbors—all standing around a car. My Probe.

The passenger window was shattered; there was glass inside and outside the car. Chase pushed through the crowd, gingerly reaching inside through the sharp edges of the broken glass. He lifted a red brick from the passenger seat. There was a note taped to the brick. He handed the note to me.

I could hear the muttering behind me—nosy neighbors wondering what kind of drama I'd brought to the neighborhood.