A Love of My Own (28 page)

BOOK THREE

Ready for Love

INDIA.ARIE

1
__________________

Three days and nights passed, and one day was just like the next. I lay in the coziness of my bed, wishing for snow during an unnaturally warm winter. I watched a lot of talk shows, some good and a few so bad I couldn't believe they were on the air.

I drank a lot of water and tea and ate a lot of tuna fish with crunched-up potato chips, a delicacy from my youth. I don't know what I was thinking or hoping for, maybe that Davis would show up at my doorstep and tell me he couldn't run
Bling Bling
without me and beg me to come back on my terms.

I thought maybe my dream had come true when the doorbell rang just as dusk had begun to cover the neighborhood. I was so eager to see another human being who wasn't a television character that I raced from my bed and opened the door quickly.

“Miss Zola, have you lost your mind scaring me like this!” Hayden said as he walked into my house carrying a brown bag with handles.

“Did Kai call you and tell you what happened?” I asked.

“Yeah, she did, but she didn't have to. It's all over the radio and in the tabloids. Wendy Williams has been talking about it every day, calling it the Battle of the Tennessee Titans. Did you know that you and Miss Yancey B. are from the same area?”

“I think so. What have they been saying on the radio?” I asked as I followed Hayden into the kitchen.

“You haven't been listing to the radio? It's been on Tom Joyner and Doug Banks. I thought you didn't miss a day of listening to their shows,” Hayden said as he pulled out several plastic containers of what smelled like good food.

“If it hasn't been on CNBC,
Regis and Kelly
or
The View,
then I haven't heard it,” I said as I sat down at my little kitchen table.

“It seems that Miss Yancey has proof she was out of the country touring and promoting her CD when you guys said she was in rehab. The other day Wendy Williams said she had an interview with Yancey B. during the time
Bling
said she was drying out, and that's major 'cause Miss Wendy don't like Yancy B.,” Hayden said.

“Tell me you're kidding,” I said.

“I wish I could. Don't you have a lawyer or somebody helping you with this?”

“Not yet. I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to do next,” I said.

“Might I suggest changing that old-lady nightgown,” Hayden said as he let out a short, powerful laugh.

“What's that?” I asked as I pointed to one of the containers.

“I figured you weren't eating right, so I stopped and picked up some food. You can't be skin and bones when you're getting ready for battle. I brought a little tossed salad with ranch dressing, some tasty spinach ravioli, and if you're good, crème brûlée,” Hayden said. He walked over to my cabinets and pulled out two plates and then turned and said, “I hope you got some liquor up in here.”

“I have some wine, I think.”

“Then that will have to do,” Hayden said as he started dishing the food onto the plates.

“Hayden, aren't you supposed to be working tonight?”

“I called in sick.
The Lion King
is grueling, honey, and Hayden needs more than a couple of days of rest. Back problems, you know.”

“That's why I didn't call you. I knew you'd be worried,” I said.

“I'm not worried. I just need to get you ready for battle. You can't just let Davis take your job and then leave you out here to fight alone. If I were you, I would call one of them gossip columnists like LaVonya or Liz Smith and tell your side of the story,” Hayden said.

“They don't want to talk to me,” I said.

“You've got to talk to somebody even if you don't do nothing but tell them you thought the story was true. What's going on with the child who wrote the article, and did she even pass by a journalism school?”

“I think Davis has already gotten to her. She won't even return my calls,” I said as I took a bite of the ravioli.

“You want me to get one of my men to rough her up?” Hayden asked.

“Hayden.”

“I can't have everybody disrespecting my girl. Have you talked with Reverend Justine?”

“No.”

“You want me to call her?”

“For what?”

“Zola, please. You girls need to stop this high school stuff. You two have been through so much. I know Justine would want to be here to support you. Shit, maybe you need to see how close she is to Jesus and let her pray and lay hands on you. I'm sure Jesus can get your job back,” Hayden said.

I didn't say anything, but I felt the tears sting my eyes. I had carried the sadness of life without Justine in a private space in my heart that I refused to visit because it was so painful.

“What are you thinking about?”

I couldn't tell Hayden just how much Justine's friendship truly meant to me. I remained silent and clenched my eyes shut to fight back the tears and then opened them when I felt I could look at Hayden without crying. He moved his chair close to me and squeezed my hand lovingly. I could no longer contain my sadness, and the tears began pouring out of my eyes like water from a dam.

Hayden held me tight and whispered, “Everything's going to be all right, Zola. Everything. We all love you and we'll be there for you.”

I cried for several minutes and then I pulled myself from Hayden's embrace. I was heading toward my bathroom to wash my face, but instead I just splashed some water on it from the kitchen sink. I used my nightgown to dry my face like I was a young child.

Hayden walked over toward the sink and took my hands and asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“What?”

“Whatever is making you so sad, Zola, I know you've had a lot happen the last couple of days, but those tears and moans sound like a deeper pain than losing your job,” Hayden said.

“I was thinking maybe I've been wrong about a couple of things.”

“Wrong about what?”

“Deserting Justine. Maybe this religion thing is real for her.”

“Is that why you're crying so hard?”

“Sorta. I was thinking about a really painful time in my life and how Justine was there for me blow by blow whenever I needed her,” I said.

“What happened?”

“Maybe you should sit down for this. I promised myself I would never tell this story, because telling it means reliving that night,” I said.

“If it's causing you so much pain, then you should release it. Now, Zola, you know I love a good story and gossip, but whatever you tell me will remain right here,” Hayden said as he patted his heart.

“His name was Wilson Montgomery III, and he was the man of my dreams even when he was in the seventh grade. He was smart and from one of Nashville's finest families. Wilson's grandfather owned a successful chain of rib joints from Nashville to Memphis. He had used his money to make sure Wilson's father got the best education available to black men during that time. Wilson Jr., my boyfriend's father, was the first black man to graduate from the law school at the University of Tennessee,” I said as I paused and took a tiny sip of wine.

“I dated Wilson from the tenth grade, since my parents wouldn't let me go out with boys until I was in high school. Still, I felt like we started dating before then because he used to write me these wonderful love letters. The boy could write words of love, and he promised me he would write me a love letter at least every week for the rest of our lives. Wilson was smart and he was captain of both the golf and tennis teams.”

“So you were really sprung?”

“Big-time. When I graduated from undergrad, as I was walking across the stage to get my degree, I was stunned when Wilson suddenly appeared from behind the president with a smile on his face. I was shocked to see him, because he was enrolled at the Air Force Academy, and had told me he couldn't come to my graduation. He looked so handsome dressed in military white. Wilson got down on one knee and—”

Hayden interrupted me and said, “Performed oral sex on you for the first time?”

“Fool, stop it or else the story will end there,” I said.

“Okay. I promise,” Hayden said.

“He proposed to me in front of the entire auditorium. When I said yes, everyone gave us a standing ovation. We made plans to get married that summer at the chapel at Vanderbilt University. Wilson had to fulfill his military commitment and I was headed to Chicago and Northwestern. Since the proposal had been so public, it seemed the entire city of Nashville was a part of our wedding. We were on the morning talk shows and in the newspaper. People were literally begging for an invitation. A local designer made my gown for free,” I said as I paused for a moment and thought about the beautiful white lace gown with the long train I had planned to wear on my wedding day. I could see the dress in my head like I was looking at a photo in a scrapbook.

“Earth to Zola. Don't leave me hanging. What happened?” Hayden asked.

I continued. “The night before the wedding, we had the rehearsal. A lot of Wilson's classmates from the academy had come down to serve as groomsmen. I was so filled with joy I couldn't contain myself. I felt like a true princess. But during the rehearsal dinner at the Grand Ole Opry Hotel, Wilson disappeared. Several of his friends went looking for him, but no one could find him. I became upset because I thought something really bad had happened to him. I was crying just like I was tonight, so I went into the ladies' room to pull myself together. When I got in there I heard moaning and groaning like somebody was in a great deal of pain. I pushed open the stall door and realized the sounds weren't from pain but lust. Wilson, the love of my life, and my sister, Pamela, were having sex.”

“No, she wasn't?” Hayden screamed.

“Yes, she was. My sister, with my intended. The man I had saved myself for couldn't wait for me. I started screaming like a madwoman, and of course it brought several members of the wedding party into the bathroom. Everybody saw them. Even if I had wanted to save face and go through with the wedding, I couldn't. Too many people saw them.”

“What did you do?”

“I ran away from the hotel like a pack of wild dogs was chasing me. When I finally collapsed in the parking lot, I felt somebody's hand on my back, and when I turned around I saw Justine. She held my hand until I was ready to face the world, which took the rest of the summer. Justine's always been there for me,” I said as the tears began to roll down my face.

“So now I understand why you and that tramp sister of yours aren't close. Whatever happened to Wilson?”

“I don't know. I don't want to know,” I said firmly. I didn't tell Hayden I saw Wilson when I went home Thanksgiving.

“Aren't you a little bit curious?”

“No.”

“So let me get this straight. You were the original runaway bride, not Julia Roberts,” Hayden said with a huge smile on his face.

“I guess so.”

“Zola, if I were you, I wouldn't be worried about your job at
Bling Bling.
I'd sit down at the computer and write a book about that shit.”

“I could never write about that. I couldn't do that to my family. Besides, my crazy-ass sister would get a lot of joy out of more people knowing what she did to me,” I said.

“What about helping Kai's friend Parson write his story?”

“I think he's going to do it himself. That would be an interesting story, but I still don't know if I believe him.”

“Then write a book about my life. I've got some stories I've been saving,” Hayden said.

“Nobody would believe
them,
” I said.

“A lot of huz-bends would be running for cover. We'd both need twenty-four-hour bodyguards,” Hayden said.

“At least we'd have each other,” I said.

“Always,” Hayden said as he hugged me tight.

2
__________________

“Mr. Raymond, a Basil Henderson is on line two,” Jolie said over the intercom. She was the second temp that Personnel had sent me since Bristol had taken over
Bling Bling.
I started to correct her again and tell her that my first name was Raymond, but figured she wouldn't get it and decided to call Human Resources and get a real assistant.

I picked up the phone and said, “What's up, Mr. Henderson? How is ATL?”

“I'm getting used to it, but, man, I miss New York. What's going on up there? I heard on the Frank Ski show this morning that ole Yancey B. is suing you guys.”

“Man, it's a big mess. We ran a story and it looks like the facts are wrong, but our editor has documentation. She's lost her job over it.”

“You talkin' 'bout that fine sista you were protecting like she was a nuclear bomb site?”

“I was protecting the both of you from exploding,” I said, laughing.

“Dawg, that's cold. I do have to say Yancey is a lot of things but a crackhead isn't one of them. I think you guys better get out your checkbook, 'cause somebody is lying,” Basil said.

“We had rehab reports and everything. Besides, her mother backed it up,” I said.

“That's your problem, then. That Ava Middlebrooks is a lying, evil bitch from the bottom of hell. She'll do anything to keep whatever spotlight she can on Ava. She and Yancey don't get along, but this is like scraping the bottom of the Hudson River in search of attention. Be careful with Ava. Watch out!” Basil said.

“I started to call you about this, but I knew you were busy. How is the case coming with Rosa?”

“Just waiting for the tests to come back,” Basil said.

“What kind of tests? Paternity?”

“We took another one for good measure, even though I have no doubt Talley is my baby girl. Rosa wanted me to take another HIV test,” Basil said.

“Another one?”

“Yeah, dude. I haven't been talking to you as much as I'd like, but that was one of the reasons she up and left. She told me that someone from the health department had called her and told her I was HIV positive. Can you believe that shit? I told her there must have been a mix-up at the hospital. She was off the chain with worry that she and Talley were HIV positive,” Basil said.

As I listened to Basil I thought about the odd call I had gotten from that woman when I'd first moved back to New York. I thought the call was so silly that I hadn't mentioned it to Basil. Maybe the call I received and the one Rosa received were connected.

“Are you sure it was the health department who called Rosa?” I asked.

“That's what she said. Why do you ask?”

“I guess I should have said something before, but somebody called me and told me to be careful with you and led me to believe you might be HIV positive,” I said.

“What? Get the fuck out of here,” Basil said, laughing.

“I guess you still got some enemies out there, but this is low,” I said.

“Why didn't you say anything to me about this before?” Basil asked.

“I figured if it was true, you'd tell me in your own time,” I said.

“Was it a man or a woman who called you?”

“It was a woman.”

“I guess that narrows it down a little, but Rosa told me it was a dude who called her. She said it was an effeminate man.”

“Could have been the same woman trying to act like a man,” I said.

“Yo, the more I try to do right, the more people want to fuck with a brotha,” Basil said.

“So, did you take the test?”

“Damn yo, I have a complete physical every year. Of course, I take the test every year, and my shit is clean as a whistle. But Rosa's ass came with me to the doctor's office and then went back when the results came back.”

“So, everything was cool?”

“Damn straight. Do you want to see the results?” Basil barked.

“That would be pertinent only if we were going to sleep together, and I think we both made the decision that that's not going to happen,” I said.

“You made the decision,” Basil said firmly.

“Do you think it was this Ava lady who's spreading these lies about Yancey?” I asked, switching the subject.

“I wouldn't put nothing past that bitch. I mean, that's what happens when people have money, they don't have shit else to do but try and ruin other people's lives. Even their own children's,” Basil said.

“Maybe I should investigate Ava. Maybe she's the source of both of our problems,” I said.

“I'd bet money on it. I'd kill that bitch if I thought I could get away with it,” Basil said.

“If Ava created this mess, there are other ways to handle her,” I said.

“The bitch in a coffin or an urn would still be the best solution,” Basil said.

“Hey, B, you handle your business with your little girl and I'll take care of this end,” I said.

“That's what's up. Holla,” Basil said as he clicked off the phone.