A Man of His Word (22 page)

He let out a breath. “I’m sorry for what I said, Rachel. You know. About kissing the pig. That was uncalled for.”

“I deserved it.” She glanced around the shop. “Where’s the dustpan?”

“Hang on.” He disappeared into the back of the shop, then came out with a large metal dustpan. Lowering into a crouch, he placed it on the floor and she swept the debris into it. “No one deserves to be insulted like that,” he continued. “I should watch my mouth.”

At his mention of the word
mouth
, they both looked at each other. She saw his gaze focus on her lips, then dart away. “Finished?” he finally asked, staring down at the floor.

“
Ya
.”

He picked up the dustpan and deposited the shavings into a metal trash can, then leaned it against the can before taking the broom from her grasp. “
Danki
.”

“Don’t mention it. By the way, I just saw your sister before I came in here. Everyone else is inside baking cookies. Elisabeth said they’re making your favorite—oatmeal chocolate chip.”

“Those are her favorite.” Tobias’s lips quirked in a half smile. “She thinks everyone should like what she does. That way she always gets what she wants.”

“Really? That’s an interesting way to look at things.”

“Annoying, but that’s Elisabeth.”

“So what is your favorite cookie?”

“Peanut butter. With little chunks of peanuts sticking out. Actually anything with nuts is good.”

Rachel regarded him for a moment. “What do you think of pecan pie?”

“Love it. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Well, I doubt there’s pie in the house, but the cookies should be good. Believe me, I’ve never met a cookie I didn’t like.”

“We should probably go get some then. I promised Elisabeth I’d come inside. I’m sure
Mami
’s wondering where I ran off to.”

“Yeah, we should go. It’s a little chilly in here anyway.”

As they walked out of the shop, Rachel glanced at the buggy again. “Can it be fixed?”

Tobias nodded. “My cousin works on buggies. He’s coming out tomorrow after work to take a look at it. The axle’s broken and the wheels are bent, but the rest of it’s in good shape. Shouldn’t be too much trouble to fix.”

“That’s good.”

They headed toward the house, but Rachel suddenly stopped in her tracks.

He turned around. “What is it?”

They had just put their differences aside for once, and now she was on the verge of throwing everything off-kilter. But she couldn’t go inside without knowing if he truly meant what he said a few moments ago. “Tobias . . . do you really think I’m a horrible person?”

His head tilted to the right, regret coloring his features. “Rachel, I’m sorry. My mouth again. Keeps saying things it shouldn’t.”

“Even when it’s the truth?”

He scrubbed his face with the palm of his hand before regarding her again. “You asked me, so I’m gonna be honest. You’re always angry with me, Rachel. Most times I feel like anything I do or say will make you mad at me. I’ll admit, sometimes I egg you on. But other times, well, it’s hard to be around you.”

His admission cut deeply, even as she realized his words were true. She was resentful of him, and she didn’t understand why. Not completely anyway.

“Hey, let’s drop it.” Tobias smiled and waved his hand toward the house. “No need for all of us to be depressed. We better get some cookies before everyone else eats them all.”

Rachel sighed. Leave it to a man to think of his stomach above all else. But in all honesty she knew Tobias was creating a diversion, and she was grateful for it. He had enough to deal with right now. He had made his observation, and neither of them were interested in pursuing the conversation any further.

Yet she knew she’d be thinking about what he said for a very long time.

Chapter 9

T
he first few days after Moriah returned home, her family had given her the space she needed. They treated her nearly the same as they had before she married. Her parents didn’t ask many questions, which she appreciated. Her brothers were a bit kinder than before, and her sisters were less inquisitive, especially Elisabeth. They all knew about the baby, but naturally their excitement was tempered by the circumstances.

When Moriah accepted that she couldn’t spend the rest of her life in her bedroom, mourning what she had lost, she busied herself in a flurry of activity. She helped her family with their chores and practically took over all the cooking duties for her mother. She brought lunch out to her father, Tobias, and Luke in the woodshop, and occasionally she helped with customer orders. A few young wives in the church had new babies, and she sewed several outfits for each one. Since she’d always wanted to learn to knit, she bought an instruction book, needles, and several skeins of pale yellow yarn. By the end of the day, she was usually exhausted.

After three weeks of busyness, she still felt lost and confused. At night, the hardest time for her, sleep was always elusive. She tried mentally repeating Scripture, but that didn’t help. Instead, she laid in her single bed, tossing and turning, thinking about Levi, mulling over regrets, asking God why this had happened to her. She was still no closer to an answer. Her future looked bleak and lonely. She could never remarry. Her child would never know his or her father. Or even have a father. Yes, her family had rallied around her, and they would always be there for her. But they couldn’t fill the emptiness she felt when she saw other couples, or stop the sadness she felt knowing she would never have another child.

At times she couldn’t bear to even look at her own family because doing so brought pain and regret. For years the Bylers had spent every Thursday evening engrossed in a family activity—playing a board game, reading the Bible or other stories aloud, or singing hymns together. But even during those family evenings, she felt like an outsider. She would never have the experience of sitting next to her husband, sharing the Bible with their children, as her parents did. Her siblings would all marry and have families of their own. They wouldn’t be looked on by the rest of the community with pity or, even worse, as an outcast. Her dreams of a large family and a loving husband were shattered.

So she did the only thing she could do. She survived and put her focus on her baby. She was powerless to bring Levi back; he had made his decision and there was nothing she could do about it. And while she knew the pain of his rejection and the loneliness filling her soul wouldn’t heal quickly, she had to at least try to have as normal a life as possible, for the sake of her child. Her babe would never feel abandoned or betrayed. She would make sure of it.

When the third week of April arrived, Moriah was busier than ever. The Bylers were hosting church that Sunday, and her family members were deep in the throes of preparations. Their house had a large basement where the service would be held. The furniture and wood floors needed to be dusted, cleaned, and polished. Even though there would be a potluck meal after the service, the Bylers still needed to provide a good portion of the food. Moriah had the task of preparing the apple crumb pies.

That Wednesday morning she finished rolling out the last pie crust on the kitchen table, then placed it in a metal pie pan. With her fingers she crimped the edges, then stepped back from the table. Twelve crusts, ready to be filled, then baked later on in the afternoon when her mother came back from the market and her sisters were home from school. Elisabeth and Ruthie would make the crumb topping out of flour, cinnamon, sugar, and butter and sprinkle it on the homemade apple pie filling Moriah had prepared the day before.

As she washed her hands under the cold water, a yawn escaped. Her mother said fatigue was normal in the beginning of pregnancy, but Moriah knew that wasn’t the only reason for her exhaustion.

She dried her hands and went to the linen closet, where she found a basket filled with old, clean rags. Selecting a large one, she set to the task of dusting every exposed space in the house. She had just started on one of the end tables when she heard a knock on the door.

“Just a minute.” She tucked the rag in the pocket of her white apron and answered the door. Her eyes widened. “Gabriel?”

“Hi.” He glanced down for a moment, shifting from one foot to the other. Then he looked back up. “I was driving by, and I thought I’d see if your horses needed any shoes.”

“Our horses are fine, but that’s thoughtful of you to stop by.”

“Oh,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “All right then.”

When he didn’t turn around and leave, she asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Gabriel?”

“
Nee
. Nothing else.” He paused, looking more unsure than she had ever seen him. “Well, I was also wondering how you’re doing.”

Ah, so that was his real reason for stopping by. He came to check on her. She was both surprised and touched. “I’m doing all right,” she said with a small smile. “As well as expected, I guess.”

“
Gut
. Glad to hear it.” He rocked back and forth on his heels.

A gust of wind swirled around them, cutting through her dress and chilling her skin. He didn’t seem in any hurry to leave, so she asked, “Would you like to come in for a minute?”

He hesitated, then nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

“
Nee
. I don’t mind at all. I’m glad to see you.” Gabriel’s expression relaxed. He seemed relieved by her welcome. Although she saw him and his
daed
at church, their paths never crossed any other time. She didn’t realize until this moment how much she had missed them both.

Once inside, he slipped off his black hat, then ran his hand through his brown hair. “Cold spring day.”

“
Ya
. Would you like something to drink? I’ve got coffee, and there are a few cookies left over from lunch.”

“
Danki
, but I’m fine. Had a big meal with
Daed
.
Frau
Stoltzfus brought over a couple casseroles last night.” His head dipped down a tiny bit as he looked at her directly. “Everything okay with the baby?”

She smiled. He’d asked the question so tentatively, yet with genuine concern. “So far everything is going well.”

“Do you know when he’s due?”

“She—or he—is due in November.”

His lips curved into a small smile. “A harvest baby. That sounds nice.” He rubbed his smooth chin for a moment. “Have you heard anything from Levi?”

Without warning, the sting of tears sprang to her eyes. She didn’t think she had any left. “
Nee
,” she said softly. “Have you?”

His expression became downcast as he shook his head. Then he glanced at her and winced. “I’m sorry, Moriah. I shouldn’t have asked you about him. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s okay.” She brought her fingers to her eyes and rubbed them, trying to send the threatening tears away. When she looked at him, spots danced in front of her eyes, then quickly faded as his kind face came into clear view.

“I better go.” He put his hat back on and opened the door. Before he walked out, he turned around and faced her again. “I know I don’t have the right to offer, but if you ever need anything, Moriah, just ask.”

“
Danki
, Gabriel. I appreciate that.” As she watched him step out onto the porch, she added, “Say hello to your
daed
for me.”

“I will.” He hurried to his buggy, untethered the horse, and jumped in the driver’s seat. Moments later he pulled away.

Slowly she shut the door, her thoughts confused. She shouldn’t be that surprised by Gabriel’s visit, since they were still technically family because of the baby. But he didn’t have to stop by and check up on her, or even ask about the baby. He knew that her family would take good care of them both. Still, she was glad he did.