A Man of His Word (26 page)

Now there was nothing he could do. There was no turning back time, no making up for mistakes. Levi was gone, and a part of Gabe had gone with him.

“We’re heading back to your house,” Tobias said, hunkering down next to Gabe. “Take your time. I’ll tell them you’ll be along in a bit.”

He turned to Moriah’s brother and nodded. “
Danki
,” he said, his voice sounding gravelly and strange.

Alone at the graveside, Gabe looked at the small, square headstones on all the graves in the cemetery. Each one was the same size and shape, plain and unadorned. Just like Levi’s would be. Details of the accident had slowly surfaced in the aftermath of Levi’s death, and over the past three days, their family had been able to piece together what had happened. Taylor had been driving her fancy sports car, with Levi in the passenger seat. They had been sideswiped by a semitruck and sent careening across the berm into oncoming traffic, with Levi receiving the bulk of the injuries. While the surgery had initially been a success, he had indeed died from a blood clot.

Gabe dug his hands into the earth and squeezed. At least when Levi had been with the Yankees, there was always the slim hope they would see him again. Now that hope was gone. Yet even through his grief, he couldn’t be angry with God. Levi had made his choices, just as Gabe had made the decision to write off his brother. He couldn’t blame God for the mistakes they had both made. He could only try to find a way to heal from them.

The one thing he could take comfort from was that during the breakfast he had shared with Moriah in the hospital, Levi had spoken to their father and asked him for forgiveness, explaining he wanted to come back to the church. Although Levi hadn’t repented publicly in the church, under the circumstances the bishop and ministers had accepted that as repentance. Levi would be with his people from now on.

He let the dirt sift through his fingers as he stared at the small, plain, square concrete marker that poked out of the ground. Through the blur of his tears he remembered the last words Levi said to him. “I promise,
bruder
,” Gabe croaked. “I promise I will spend the rest of my life taking care of Moriah.” He stood, then slowly made his way to his buggy and climbed inside. Taking one last look at Levi’s final resting place, he chirruped to his horse and headed back home.

Moriah instantly came to his mind, and he wondered how he could possibly keep the promise he had made. She had just lost her husband—twice. No one would expect her to turn around and accept someone else, especially her former brother-in-law.

But he had given his brother his word, and he would honor it. He had always stood by a promise, and firmly believed that a man should stand by what he says. Gabe would see to it that Moriah and her child would be cared for. He would do everything in his power to make that happen.

He pulled into the front of his house, and took in the numerous buggies that filled the driveway and spilled out onto the yard. He’d have to park close to his neighbor’s house, but he didn’t care. He took comfort in the support the community offered Moriah and his father. They would need it. They would all need it.

“
Danki
. Thanks for coming.” Moriah said. She’d repeated those words so many times they reverberated in her head. Her body and mind both felt numb. Eventually she would appreciate the outpouring of support from everyone, but right now she just wanted to be alone.

“You’ve been on your feet all day.” Her mother came up beside her and put her arm around her shoulders. “I know you’re exhausted, so don’t try to tell me that you’re not. Have you eaten anything?”

“
Nee
.”

The low hum of the conversation dropped as the front door opened. Gabe entered, his complexion gray, his eyes red. He was the last to arrive, and she suspected he had spent some time alone at Levi’s grave. She’d heard the twin bond was stronger than that between other siblings. If Gabe’s visage was any indication, it was true.

Their gazes met as he made his way across the room. He thanked several people along the way as they gave him their sympathies, but he kept moving toward Moriah and didn’t stop until he was right in front of her.

“I’ll go check on the sandwiches,” Emma said, stepping to the side. “Sarah said she was going to make some more. She could probably use the help. And please, try to eat something.”

“I will.”

When Emma disappeared, Gabe asked, “How are you holding up?”

Moriah shrugged. “Best I can. You?”

“Same thing. Have you seen
Daed
?”

“He’s in the
dawdi haus
with some of his friends. The company started to overwhelm him, I think.”

“I should go see how he is.” But Gabe didn’t move. Instead, he looked at her, biting his bottom lip. “I don’t want to leave you alone, but I need to check on
Daed
.”

She offered him a weak smile. “Gabriel, this house is full of people. I’m hardly alone.”

He looked sheepish. “Right. Didn’t think about that.” He gave her one last look, then turned and headed to see his father.

Moriah scanned the room, taking in all the friends and family who were giving their support. But despite their presence, despite reassuring Gabriel that he wasn’t deserting her, she had been wrong. She’d never felt more alone in her life.

Gabe sat in the old handhewn rocker his grandfather had made over fifty years ago, watching the glowing coals of the woodstove. The sun had set hours ago, but he couldn’t sleep. He had decided to stay in the
dawdi haus
with his father, who’d retired soon after their company had left. He remained partly to keep an eye on
Daed
, and partly because he couldn’t bear to stay alone in the main house.

Now he rocked in the chair, trying to settle the turmoil inside him. Memories of his brother continually surfaced in his mind. He remembered the tire swing their father had hung on the huge oak tree in their backyard. Every fall he and Levi would rake the leaves into a big pile and then compete to see who could swing higher before letting go and landing in the soft, musty leaves. He could still see the look of triumph on Levi’s face every time he won. The memory brought a fresh wave of pain, added another layer of regret.

How was he supposed to survive this?

The sound of his father’s shuffling footsteps caused him to sit up straight. He wiped his wet eyes with his hand as John entered the room.

“You shouldn’t be sitting here in the dark, Gabriel.” He turned on the gas lamp.

“And you should be resting.” Gabe shot up from his chair and went to his father, who waved him off.

“I’ve been resting.” John lowered himself onto the couch, then patted the seat next to him. “Let’s talk. We haven’t done that in quite awhile.”

Gabe sat next to him, then leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, letting his loosely clasped hands dangle between them. He tilted his head and looked at his father. “You surprise me,” he admitted.

“How so?”

“The way you’re handling all of this. I remember when Levi left . . . how hard it was on you.”

“This is hard too, Gabriel. Very hard. My son died. I won’t see him until I get to heaven, God willing. But even though it breaks my heart, I can find some peace in that.” He looked at Gabe intently. “When Levi left, he turned his back on the church. That burden was almost too great to bear.”

“But you did.”

“I only seemed to. You can’t live stewing in grief forever. I learned that when your
mami
died. A person’s got to move on, live his life following God’s lead. But that didn’t mean I didn’t spend every night on my knees praying for my boy.”

Gabe stared down at the polished wood floor. “I should have done that. I should have done more.”

John patted him on the back. “Don’t let regrets tear you up inside, Gabriel. Levi wouldn’t want that.”

Lifting his head, Gabe said, “No, he wouldn’t.”

“Keep remembering that Levi came back to God. I have no doubt he would have come back to us too.”

“How can you be so sure he came back to God?”

“Because of what he said. He asked my forgiveness—our forgiveness. He had already been forgiven by the Lord. I truly believe that.”

To his surprise, Gabe did find comfort in his father’s words. To know that his brother had made things right with the Lord brought a semblance of peace to his soul.

“There’s something else troubling you,” John said.

Gabe’s head jerked in his father’s direction. “How did you know?”

“Most of the time you’re hard to read, but tonight you’re an open book. Levi said something to you. Is that what’s bothering you?”

“
Ya
.” Gabe sat back and settled himself more firmly on the couch. “He asked me to take care of Moriah and the baby. But I don’t understand why.”

“Probably because he knows you’re the best man for her.”

Gabe sat forward, gaping at John. “What do you mean?”

“I know you love her. I suspect Levi knew that too. And for some reason you’ve chosen to keep that a secret from her.”

“She was in love with my brother,
Daed
. And I thought he loved her. I didn’t want to cause any trouble for them.”

“But what about you? Did you plan to spend the rest of your life pining for your brother’s wife?”

“Of course not! I would have found someone else . . . eventually.” But he knew the words were a lie. He had never wanted to be with anyone else. “That doesn’t matter now. I promised Levi I’d be there for Moriah, but I don’t know how that’s possible.”

“Why not?”

His father must have lost his mind. “
Daed
, she’s newly widowed. She was married to my brother, who is my identical twin. I’ll just be a reminder of what she’s lost.”

“Then you’ll just have to convince her otherwise.” John yawned. “Pray about it, Gabriel. With God, anything is possible. Even what seems impossible.” He stood. “I’m more worn out than I thought. I’m going to bed, and I suggest you do the same.”

Gabe nodded. He waited a little while longer after John left before heading to his room. He stripped down to his long johns and climbed into bed, sliding between the cold sheets. Both his father and his brother had known about his feelings for Moriah. So much for keeping them hidden. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, causing him to sit upright.

Did Moriah know?

He panicked for a moment, then calmed down. She couldn’t possibly know how he felt. If she did he would have known, or at least sensed it. She would have kept her distance from him, something he continually failed to do.

Lying back down, he decided to take his
daed
’s advice and pray about it. He couldn’t fulfill his promise to Levi without some divine intervention.