A Mother's Courage (42 page)

'Yes, yes, do what you must, Phoebe. And
thank you. I won't forget what you've done for
me tonight.'

Phoebe pulled a face. 'You won't thank me
when you get lost in the pea-souper. I wish you'd
change your mind, girl.'

'I can't risk it. If you will just hold Beth for me
for a moment, I'll get Joss and we'll be off.'
Without waiting for a reply, Eloise thrust Beth
into Phoebe's arms and she crept into the room.
In the pale shaft of lamplight she could see Joss
lying in a high-sided cot sound asleep with his
curls tumbled over his tear-stained face. She
called his name softly as she lifted him from the
bed and he opened his eyes, recognising her
instantly with a sunny smile which brought tears
to her eyes. She hugged him to her breast,
rocking his small body in her arms. 'Joss, my
baby. We'll never be parted again, sweetheart.
Mama promises you that.'

'Hurry up and get him dressed,' Phoebe whispered.
'Old Marchant will be doing her rounds
soon.' She pulled a small purse from her pocket
and thrust it into Eloise's hand. 'Here, take this.
It's not much but it's all I got. I were only going
to spend it on a new bonnet, so I reckon it'll be
better spent looking after you and the nippers.'

'I'll pay you back every penny as soon as I can,'
Eloise said, slipping a woollen jumper over Joss's
head. 'Thank you, Phoebe. Thanks for everything.
I will miss you.'

'Get on with you, or we'll both end up crying
like babies.' Phoebe gave her a watery smile.
'Good luck, girl. You'll need it.'

It was surprisingly easy to leave the hospital
unseen. The older children were at supper in
the refectory, and it seemed that most of the
staff were occupied in completing the last tasks
of the day before retiring for their own meal or
going home. For once, Eloise was grateful for
the thick blanket of fog which covered their
tracks the moment they stepped outside the
building. Holding Joss by the hand, and with
Beth hitched over her shoulder, Eloise made her
way slowly out of the hospital grounds.
Keeping close to the railings, she turned east,
feeling her way along Guildford Street until she
reached Gray's Inn Road, where she headed
north towards King's Cross station. It was the
only place where she could be certain that there
would be warmth and light and it would be
easy to get lost in the crowd. It was not very far
to the station but Joss was tired, and although
Eloise was grateful that Beth was asleep, it
made her a dead weight and difficult to carry.
They had to keep stopping to rest in doorways,
often disturbing a sleeping vagrant or tripping
over the inert bodies of drunks sleeping off an
excess of alcohol.

The only sounds to penetrate the eerie silence
were the occasional clip-clop of horses' hooves
and the rumble of cartwheels on cobblestones. It
felt to Eloise that they were alone in a strange,
yellowish-green world of stinking fog, but at last
she heard the plaintive whistle of a steam train.
The lights of the station filtered through the haze
in shredded strands, but it was a little clearer
inside the main concourse and Eloise found a
coffee stall which was still open for business,
where she bought a cup of hot coffee for herself
and some milk for the children. There was a fire
burning brightly in the ladies' waiting room and
she sat down on the wooden bench with Joss at
her side and Beth cuddled in the crook of her
arm. A porter came in to attend to the fire and he
eyed them curiously. There ain't no more trains
tonight, ma'am.'

'I must have missed my train,' Eloise said,
attempting a smile. 'Could we wait here until
morning?'

'I'm locking up, ma'am. I'm afraid you'll have
to leave.'

'But we've come a long way and my children
are tired.'

'Sorry, ma'am, but that ain't my problem. Now
I'll have to ask you to find somewhere else to
spend the night. There's plenty of cheap doss
houses round here, although I ain't too sure
they'll take in a woman with nippers, but you
might be lucky.'

They were out on the street again, and there
was no sign of the fog lifting.

'I'm tired, Mama,' Joss murmured.

Eloise clutched his small hand and gave his
fingers an encouraging squeeze. 'We'll find
somewhere soon, darling.' She started walking
northwards. If they could get as far as the dust
yard, perhaps the Tranters would give them
shelter for the night. They had only gone a few
paces when a figure loomed out of the fog,
almost colliding with them.

'Watch out, lady.' A huge man, wearing a
battered top hat and smelling worse than the
pea-souper, held a lantern close to Eloise's face.
'Ellie! Is that you?'

'Mick? Mick Fowler – Peg's gentleman friend?'

'The very same. Gawd's strewth, girl. What are
you doing out in this and with them nippers?
And why did you run off like that with nary a
word to Peg and her ma? They was frantic with
worry, and then that detective fellow come
looking for you too. What's been going on, Ellie?'

Eloise shook her head. 'Oh, Mick. You don't
know how good it is to see a friendly face. I'll
explain everything, but do you think you could
take us to the Tranters' house? I must get the
children out of this dreadful pea-souper.'

Mick hoisted Joss onto his shoulders. 'Hang on
to me jacket, ducks. I know me way blindfold.'

Clutching the tail of Mick's coarse fustian
jacket, Eloise stumbled after him with tears of
relief pouring down her cheeks. Just when she
had thought they would have to spend the night
out in the cold, Mick had appeared before them
like an angel from heaven. Perhaps there was a
god after all. When her father returned from his
mission, Eloise vowed silently to pay more
attention to his sermons.

Peg and Gertie were at first incredulous and then
overjoyed to see Eloise and the children. Gertie
couldn't get over how much Joss and Beth had
grown in the past few months and Peg patted her
swollen belly, announcing with pride that there
would soon be another little Tranter to help in
the dust yard. It would be a Fowler, Mick said,
hooking his arm around her shoulders. Just as
soon as the banns were read he was determined
to make an honest woman of his Peg. Then Cyril,
Jimmy and Danny arrived home and the sound
of their voices awakened Daisy and Cora, who
came in sleepy-eyed from the bedroom to join in
the reunion. Mick and Cyril went out to the pie
shop and returned with hot pies, pease pudding,
mashed potatoes and a jug of gravy, and the
family crowded round the kitchen table or
squatted on the floor to eat.

Later that night, when everyone had gone to
bed, Eloise lay in her old place on a straw
palliasse in front of the kitchen range, with Joss
and Beth sleeping peacefully at her side. They
were safe for now at least, but her heart ached for
the man she had given up in order to protect her
children. She had not believed that love would
come again to her after Ronnie's death, but she
realised now that she had been mistaken. Loving
Barton did not diminish the feelings she had had
for Ronnie, but that was another life, locked
away in a separate compartment of her heart and
encapsulated in her adoration of their children.
Nothing could take that away from her, but if she
was honest with herself, she knew that Ronnie's
profligate spending habits and selfishness would
have eventually destroyed their happiness.

But the sad truth was that she had walked away
from the man whom she loved with all her heart.
Barton Caine could have been her future but for
the circumstances that had forced her to live a lie.
Once he knew the truth, he would never want to
see her again, but at least she would be spared the
sight of his accusing face and the hurt expression
in his eyes when he discovered her deception.
She curled her arms around the warm bodies of
her children and closed her eyes. Whatever
tomorrow might bring, she would keep them
safe. She would do anything necessary to see that
they did not suffer.

Next morning there was the familiar and
comforting hustle and bustle of the family rising
early for work. After a hasty breakfast of bread
and jam, Cora had taken Daisy to the ragged
school, and the men had gone off to work with
their hunks of bread and dripping wrapped in
newspaper, and bottles of water to wash the dust
from their throats. Gertie and Peg stayed behind
to talk to Eloise. Last night there had only been
time for the briefest of explanations as to why she
had disappeared so completely, but now she was
able to furnish them with the details. When she
had finished, Peg and Gertie exchanged worried
glances.

'You can stay here for as long as you like,
ducks,' Gertie said. 'But that Pike fellow might
still be searching for you, and he knows you
were here.'

Eloise glanced at Joss and Beth, who were on
the floor playing with a stray kitten that had
wandered into the cottage. She sighed. 'I don't
think the Cribbs will give up easily. In some
ways I think it might be best if I went up to
Yorkshire and had it out with them once and for
all. Perhaps I have been too selfish in denying
Joss the education and upbringing that the
Cribbs could give him so easily.'

Peg threw up her hands in horror. 'But you
can't be thinking of giving him over to them, not
after what you've told us about Mrs Cribb and
her horrible sister.'

Eloise shook her head. 'What alternative do I
have now, Peg? You'll soon be a mother and then
you'll understand that you would do anything
for your children – anything at all. But I would
insist on staying at Cribb's Hall so that I could be
with them every day, even if it meant being
treated like a servant. I won't be parted from my
babies. I'd die first.'

Gertie refilled their teacups from the old
brown china teapot with half the handle missing.
She frowned. 'Are you sure about this, Ellie?
Don't you think you ought to give your fellah a
chance to speak for hisself? If he loves you, he'll
understand why you done what you done.'

'If I thought that I wouldn't have run away.
No, Barton is a fine man, but he'll never get over
the way his wife tricked him into marrying her
when she was expecting another man's child.'

'But it's not the same with you, Ellie,' Peg
protested hotly. 'You was forced into acting the
way you did.'

'It's true, I never meant to deceive him, but I
doubt if he will see it that way. And if I should
remarry, I would have to be certain that the man
could love my children as well as he loved me.
Poor little mites, they have suffered enough on
my account. I must do what I think is best for
them.'

'But that may not be best for you, Ellie,' Peg
said gently. 'Stay here for a few days at least and
think things over before you do anything silly.'

'Yes, ducks,' Gertie agreed, nodding her head.
'Peg's right. You're worn out with worry and
you need time to think. We missed you and the
nippers when you took off like that. Stay here
with us until you're sure that you're doing the
right thing.'

'And if that Pike bloke comes sniffing round
just let him watch out.' Peg jumped to her feet
and fisted her hands, dancing about like a prize
fighter. 'My Mick and the boys will sort him out
good and proper. We know how to look after our
own in Magpie Alley. Let Pike come here and
he'll find hisself buried at the bottom of a dust
heap.'

Joss and Beth leapt to their feet and began
dancing around with Peg while the kitten flew
up the curtains and hung there, its fur sticking
out all over its tiny body as it hissed with fright.

Eloise couldn't help laughing. 'I will stay for a
day or two, and thank you with all my heart for
your kindness.'

'Oh, tosh!' Gertie said, getting up from the
table and reaching for her dusty jacket and
bonnet. 'You're one of us, ducks. I'm off to work
and you stay put, or I'll have something to say
about it.'

Despite the cramped living conditions, Eloise
did stay put for the best part of a week. She did
not go back to work in the dust yard, but she kept
the house clean, did the shopping and cooked
meals for the whole family in an effort to repay
the Tranters for their hospitality. Keeping busy
prevented her from brooding too much about
what she had lost, but every night Barton Caine
invaded her dreams, which inevitably turned
into nightmares as he learned the truth about
her, and when she awakened she found her
pillow was wet with tears.

As the days went by Eloise became more and
more convinced that she must take the children
back to Yorkshire. It was not a decision to be
taken lightly, but with her parents thousands of
miles away, and nowhere else to go, she knew
she had little option but to throw herself on the
mercy of the Cribbs. After all, Harcourt was a
kindly soul, even if he was under petticoat rule,
and Hilda must have a heart buried somewhere
beneath that massive bosom. Eloise tried to convince
herself and failed miserably, but she also
knew that she could not impose on the Tranters
for very much longer, and it was only a matter of
time before Pike discovered their whereabouts.

On a particularly wet and dismal Friday morning,
Eloise had finally and most reluctantly made
up her mind to return to Yorkshire. She would
break the news to the family when they returned
from work that evening. She was standing at the
kitchen table, kneading bread dough, when
someone tapped on the cottage door. 'My hands
are covered in flour. Can you reach the latch, Joss
darling?'

Joss toddled over to the door and stood on
tiptoe to push up the latch.

'Hello,' he said cheerfully.

Eloise had her back to the door and she was
wiping the sticky dough from her fingers. 'Who
is it, darling?' She turned her head just in time to
see Joss swept up in the arms of a lady whose
face was hidden beneath the wide brim of a fur trimmed
bonnet.