A New Resolution (11 page)

“Well, you are now officially his hero.”

“I’m flattered.” He opened the door for her, and she instantly spotted Kieran, his gleaming smile and adorably excited wave catching her attention from the far side of the dark restaurant. Nolan placed a hand on the small of her back, guiding her to the table. Her skin broke out in chills at the touch.

“Hello there. You look lovely,” Kieran said as he stood to give her a kiss on the cheek in greeting, his lips lingering slightly longer than what would be considered polite.

“Thank you,” she said, refraining from complimenting him on his gray shirt, vest, and slacks ensemble. If she stared any more at how good these men looked, she would begin to drool. She turned toward a chair, and all of a sudden they surrounded her. Nolan helped remove her light jacket, and Kieran pulled out her seat, her hand in his as he helped her into the chair.

“I’ve ordered us a bottle of white wine. Is that all right?”

“Yes. I…” She was incapable of any intelligent speech. Her nerves had taken over. They stared at her, waiting for an answer when the waiter fortunately arrived to pour the wine, giving her a blessed moment to compose herself.

After they sampled and approved of the crisp and clear wine, Kieran leveled his gaze on her. “So, Lore. Now that you are free of the shackles of your former employment and sitting pretty on what I hear is a sizable settlement, what are you going to do next?”

“With the money?”

“Yeah, what are your plans?” Nolan asked, his thumb and forefinger playing with the glass stem as he prepared to take a sip. “Vacation? Savings? New car?”

“I’m going to donate it.”

“What?” Nolan paused midtaste. “Donate all of it? To where?”

“To a women’s shelter in the nearby area,” she said with a smile, proud of what she had accomplished by bringing that pig man down. “I started this suit to shed light on an injustice being forced on women that is all too common in workplaces and homes around the country. Men with power seem to instantly think they hold sway over those of the female persuasion who work beneath them. They think we will do anything to climb that corporate ladder, even if it means climbing into their laps.”

She looked up from buttering a piece of bread to see mildly shocked expressions on their faces. Perhaps a friendly dinner wasn’t the time to express her views on women being victimized in the workplace.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Please. Don’t apologize for that. It was inspiring,” Nolan said, his shock turning into a smile as his hand came down over hers. “You’ll really give away all that money?”

“I don’t need it, so yes.”

Kieran placed his wine on the table, giving her his undivided attention. Even when he wasn’t smiling, she could still see hints of his dimples. “You’re unemployed now, though. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some sort of nest egg?”

“Well, I didn’t even need the job to be honest.” She took a breath and forged ahead, feeling an unfamiliar need to let them into her life more than she had ever let anyone in before. It had been so long since she’d had the opportunity to speak about her life. Even though the reason for that was entirely her fault, it still felt miraculously freeing to tell these men at least some portion of her shadowed past. “My parents passed away last year and one of them left me a sizable inheritance. It actually came as quite a shock once I received it. It’s hard for me to stay at home doing nothing all day long, which is why I kept my job after their passing. I liked what I did, so it made sense.”

“I’m so sorry about your parents,” Kieran soothed, grasping her hand in comfort for a brief moment. “Do you have any siblings or other family to keep you company?”

“No. I’m an only child, and my parents were not close with their families, so it was just us.”

“That’s…” Kieran began, seemingly at a loss for words for the first time since Lore had known him. He looked to Nolan, searching for something to say before turning back to her. She’d forgotten how unusual her life was, how the isolation was alien to other people. She probably shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. Now she’d messed up the entire evening by making them feel bad for her.

“What did you do for Thanksgiving, for Hanukkah…or Christmas?”

She smiled thankfully at Kieran’s attempt to pick the conversation back up. “I don’t really celebrate that time of year anyway. It would have been Christmas, but my father was usually away on business during the holidays, and my mother was never in a celebrating spirit in his absence. He did however make sure to always be home for New Year’s Eve. It was our favorite holiday.” She chuckled at the memory she usually kept buried, holding her wineglass up to rest on her lip in thought. The scent reminded her of the vintage her mother and father used to drink while she belted out “Auld Lang Syne” with the crowds of people on TV. The stupid song, she used to call it. It hadn’t really been stupid. It had been wonderful. “My father used to tell me that I had to have a New Year’s resolution or else the New Year wouldn’t come. New Year’s was the one time of year when the world seemed to just melt away and it was the three of us in our little bubble. Nothing else mattered.”

“That sounds magical,” Nolan said as he brushed back a bit of hair falling loose from her braid. His knuckles skimmed her cheek, and the warmth from his touch lulled her further into memory. “You must miss them very much.”

“It was magical,” she corroborated with a sigh and finally took a sip of the wine. It wasn’t the same wine her father had preferred, of course. It was just a hint of something to provoke a memory, a memory that led down a darker path. It was time to move on. “But I lost them both in different ways long before they died.”

Kieran took her cue to continue, leaning back in his chair with a lazy grace. “Do you do anything for the holidays now?”

“Yes, because I am just the wild and crazy kind,” Lore said with a sarcastic smile. “No. It was just me. What do you do for the holidays?”

“It’s just us during those times.” Kieran returned her smile, sweetly folding his hand over Nolan’s. They had probably spent numerous holidays together in rapturous bliss. It almost made her jealous.

“And how long has it been just the two of you?”

“Four years.” Nolan chuckled, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe how long they’d been together.

She placed her hand over her heart, touched by their dedication to one another. “That’s wonderful.”

Kieran took a bite of bread, his mouth full and eyes narrowed. Even with food in his mouth, the man was too attractive for his own good. “It always makes me laugh when people are surprised by how long we’ve been together.”

“I don’t think they’re surprised. I think they’re mourning the loss of two attractive single men.”

Kieran leaned forward, his arms resting on the table and the light of the small votive candle making his dark eyes glow. “You think we’re attractive?”

“Is that a real question?”

He chuckled and shrugged with mock diffidence. “I’d like to know if you think we’re attractive.”

She swallowed a glass of wine, gulping so loudly the entire dining room probably heard how strongly they made her pulse jump. “Of course I do. What hot-blooded woman wouldn’t? Now that I’ve stroked your ego, why don’t you tell me what this whole dinner thing is about? Why the persistence?”

“We just wanted to get to know you,” Nolan claimed innocently, his finger tracing the rim of his wineglass, his eyes never leaving hers.

“Mmmhmm. Nolan, I may not be the most sociable person, but I am by no means an idiot.”

“We never said—”

“From my perspective, you both either want to get close to me because I have come into a large sum of money and wish to use me for it, an option I have already judged both of you incapable of. The other option is so preposterous I won’t even speak it out loud. And I’m sorry, gentleman, but I refuse to be your so-called beard.” She took a gulp of wine, spurred on by the heat it gave her, all of a sudden feeling slightly mad at them for no reason.

“Is it so impossible for us to want to be your friend?” Kieran asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Nobody goes out of their way to be my friend.” She pointed her finger right at Kieran’s chest. “And before you get that pitying look, Kieran, please remember that I also do not go out of my way to make friends. I like my solitude. I like the way I live my life.” What she didn’t like was having to make excuses for herself, which was exactly what this conversation was turning into. The mere curiosity they had about her was starting to feel like some sort of accusation.

“Well, prepare to be amazed,” Nolan whispered, his eyes narrowing, no doubt all too aware of her agitated state. “We wanted to have dinner with you because we are intrigued by you. We wanted to have dinner with you because we are attracted to you.”

“You’re in a relationship. With each other. What does it matter if you’re attracted to me?”

“You are the most confounding woman I’ve ever met,” Nolan continued, looking determined as hell. “We, two handsome men—”

“Two humble men, as well, I see.”

Nolan wisely ignored her sarcasm, which only stoked the fire of her aggravation further. “—are telling you we think you are attractive, and you ask what does that matter?”

“Well, yes. I just don’t understand how your being attracted to me relates to taking me out to dinner. You’re in a relationship with one another. Where could this attraction possibly go?”

She was so confused, the conflicting need she felt to push and pull them away fought for dominance within her. She wanted to melt into them, let them take her on a wild, if brief, ride. Because if they were truly offering what she thought they were offering, then the only end in sight she could see would be them having their fill of her while Lore remained solitary, alone. She didn’t think she could survive the gluttony of gorging on them only to be left starving once they were gone.

Her emotions weren’t the only cause of confusion. Their motivations were almost equally confounding. Lore could usually read people pretty well, a skill her father had taught her on some of their more adventurous outings, but with Nolan and Kieran she was flummoxed. What was their end goal here? What was all the flirting about? Attracted to her? An attraction between two people could only go two places, in or out. They clearly couldn’t go in, so why were they…why were they staring at her so intently? Why was Kieran’s gaze trained on her lips? Why had they said all those things to her the past few times they’d run into one another? Why had they cornered her by the back tents and kissed her neck?

“Lore?” Nolan asked, his brow turned down in concern.

She pushed nonexistent flyaway strands out of her face, then moved her gaze from one man to the other, remembering the fantasy they had conjured with a few simple words back in the coffee shop. How could they both want her and be okay with that? How could she ever find the strength to say no if they wanted her with just a fraction of the passion with which she wanted them?

“Where can this go?” she asked quietly, no longer angry but so nervous, wondering what they would do next.

“Well, it can go to dessert,” Kieran said gently, a small and understanding smile lighting his eyes.

“It can go to the car,” Nolan added, his voice so rumbly she could have sworn it sent vibrations shooting through the long-untouched depths of her body. Places aching to be touched by not one but two men.

“It can go to our place,” Kieran continued. “Or your place, whichever makes you comfortable.”

“It can go to a bed.” Nolan leaned in once more, bringing her hand to his lips and letting her feel their smoothness as he spoke. The sensation of his breath on her skin sent shivers shooting up her arm and traveling with lightning speed to settle between her legs. She clenched her thighs together, needing some sort of stabilizing force to keep her upright. “It can go to you surrounded by Kieran and me, consumed by the pleasure we want to give you.”

She could barely breathe, she wanted it so badly. “This is…”

“Is it something you might like?” Kieran asked, moving his chair closer to hers, their wine and the potential meal they had yet to order all but forgotten.

She laughed, confounded by them. “Like? Again, what hot-blooded woman wouldn’t want that?” The exotic nature of their offer came into focus, but so did the reality of her life. “But I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for.”

“Why is that?” Nolan asked, continuing to sip from her knuckles in delicate licks and kisses.

“I’m not an innocent—”

“I bet you’re not.” Kieran chuckled, his hand finding her thigh under the table and rubbing it up and down over the fabric of her blue dress.

Right.” She should tell him stop; she really should. “Um, but…I am not the most experienced woman.”

“We don’t care about that,” Kieran whispered, his hand pausing to squeeze ever so slightly. “We care about what you want, what you desire. We look at you, and we see this composed and contained woman. A woman who has such a tight leash on herself that she can barely breathe.”

A familiar accusation, one she resented, even more so coming from Kieran. “That is unfair.”

“Am I wrong? When was the last time you slouched or cursed or left the dishes unwashed?”

“That’s just counterproductive and good posture can prevent back issues later in life.” She couldn’t help but be facetious as her confounding anger grew once more.

Nolan jumped in, dropping her hand to cup her nape. His eyes were on fire. “We’ve only seen a glimpse of the woman we know is locked inside you, but fuck, we want to meet her. If you don’t let her out, she’ll suffocate and die.”

Enough. She wanted them, but she also didn’t need them to fix her. She wasn’t broken like they so clearly thought she was. She didn’t need a couple of men to put her pieces back together. There were no pieces left. She removed her napkin from her lap and placed it on the table, folding it up carefully. “This won’t work. I told you I was not what you’re looking for. I think I’m going to go.”

“Wait.” Nolan leaned back, startled by her abrupt declaration. “What? No—”

“You see me as some stuck-up, boring woman who just needs a man or two to whip her into shape, don’t you? How can my buttoned-up life sustain my so-called spirit, right? I like my life. I like the quiet and the consistency. Over and over I’ve been told by any number of well-wishers that I need to let loose and live a little. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but what you see is what you get. You can’t change me, and I do not wish to be changed. I don’t need you to mold me into the perfect woman. You’ll have to find someone else for your little pet project.”