A Nice Class of Corpse (4 page)

'I will be out for lunch, Miss Naismith.'

'Oh?' The proprietress looked up from the desk in her Office, quickly forming the opinion that the red of Mrs Pargeter's two-piece suit was, if not quite 'strident', at least 'bold'. But once again the jewellery, yet another matching set, was real.

'Most of the residents do tend to take luncheon in the hotel, unless of course they are away visiting.'

'Yes. Well, I dare say I'll take it plenty of times, but today I'm going out.'

Miss Naismith couldn't be sure whether or not she detected a note of mockery in Mrs Pargeter's echo of the word 'take'.

'That is all right, isn't it?'

'Of course, Mrs Pargeter. So long as you inform the staff that you will not be taking luncheon before eleven o'clock in the morning.'

'Which is exactly what I'm doing.'

'Yes, Mrs Pargeter. Though it is quite sufficient for you to inform the
staff
, as I say. Tell Newth or Loxton. There is no need to tell
me
. I often find myself very busy in the mornings. Particularly, of course, today, in view of the most unfortunate circumstances.'

'Yes.' Mrs Pargeter paused. 'Is the body still here?'

Miss Naismith winced at the indelicacy of such directness. 'The undertakers have not as yet arrived, no.'

'So where is it?'

This was really too much. 'I really don't think it necessary for such details to be known, Mrs Pargeter.'

The new resident shrugged. 'Very well. Please yourself.'

Miss Naismith breathed deeply, then, with the strained smile of a lady at a tea party ignoring something a dog has done on the floor, asked, 'And may I ask how you plan to spend your day, Mrs Pargeter?'

'Thought I'd have a wander round. See the delights of Littlehampton. I don't know the town at all.'

'It's not a large place. It won't take you long to see it all. I mean, there'd be plenty of time to see a bit, come back here for luncheon, and then continue your tour in the afternoon.'

'Yes, I'm sure there would. But I just feel like going out for lunch today.'

'Very well.' Miss Naismith took in another deep breath. Mrs Pargeter's decision upset her disproportionately. New guests should devote some time to studying the routines of the Devereux; once they had done that, then it was quite permissible for them to diverge from those routines, but not until after a few days' acclimatisation. Miss Naismith tried to find a way of expressing her disapproval, but all she could come up with was: 'I'm afraid you may find the weather a little inclement.'

'I'll survive.' Mrs Pargeter grinned. 'See you.'

Miss Naismith thought perhaps something really should be said. 'I think you will find in time that the Devereux suits you very well, Mrs Pargeter. I'm sure we'll soon get used to each other's little ways.'

'Yes,' said Mrs Pargeter, pausing at the Office door. 'I'm sure you will.'

Mrs Pargeter looked less perky as she ate her lunch. She had, as promised, examined the delights of Littlehampton, and found them much to her taste. It was a pleasingly tacky town. Mrs Pargeter liked the evidence of new vulgarity slowly swamping a former gentility. Yes, she could happily live there.

But she did not smile as she sat over excellent fish and chips in an empty riverside cafe looking out at the rushing brown water of the Arun estuary. There was something on her mind other than the suitability of her new home.

She could not forget the noises she had heard in the night at the Devereux.

She could not help speculating about the cause of Mrs Selsby's death.

And she could not prevent those speculations moving inexorably to the conclusion that it had not been accidental.

CHAPTER 9

Mrs Pargeter returned to the Devereux for tea, arriving at almost exactly the same time as she had the day before. The afternoon was growing dark and bleak, with that peculiar melancholy of a seaside resort out of season. The wind swooped restlessly, setting up ripples of rattling among the shutters of the sea-front kiosks.

But Mrs Pargeter did not feel cold. She had always been a good walker, and she had kept moving most of the time. Her calves ached a little from the exertion, but generally she felt pleased with her day. She had found her bearings in Littlehampton. She now knew where the Devereux stood in relation to the sort of services she was bound to need – newsagent, bank, chemist, hairdresser, public telephone, car rental agency, betting shop. Increasingly the conviction grew that she had found the right place – at least for the time being.

She was also increasingly intrigued by what she now thought of as Mrs Selsby's murder. And she thought what an attractive project for an elderly person with time on her hands would be finding out who had committed that murder.

Loxton's memory for the minutiae of her job was excellent, and Mrs Pargeter's tray arrived at her table with a pot of strong Indian tea. Mrs Pargeter poured herself a cup in silence and listened to the conversations around her. She had decided that listening was going to be her most effective method of investigation.

'Sad business, sad business,' observed Colonel Wicksteed, after a swallow of his own strong Indian brew.

'Yes, indeed. Will come to us all, though.' Mr Dawlish was suddenly and unaccountably struck by the humour of what he had said, and let out another of his manic giggles.

'Oh yes. "Don't ask who the bell tolls for," the Colonel misquoted again. ' "It's for you." '

'Is that a ketch?' asked Dawlish, abruptly pointing out to a smudge on the darkening sea.

Colonel Wicksteed's binoculars shot up to his eyes. It was too dark to distinguish anything through the bay window, but he pronounced with authority, 'No, no. Some bloody
nouveau riche
gin-palace.'

'Ah.' Mr Dawlish nodded, content with the answer.

'What is so
sad
. . .' Eulalie Vance dropped her voice thrillingly low on the word '. . . is that we could be the only people at the funeral.'

'You don't know that,' said Miss Wardstone combatively.

'Well, no one ever came to see her here, did they?'

'Doesn't necessarily mean she hadn't got anyone. Lots of people never visit their elderly relatives while they're alive and then turn up gushing tears at their funerals.' Miss Wardstone spoke as bitterly as if she anticipated suffering in the same way herself, but since the spinster's customary manner was one of bitterness, Mrs Pargeter did not allow herself to form any conclusions from this.

'Oh, I
know
. But it must be terrible to feel that no one cares. That's one of the advantages of living a full life, you know. Oh, there's pain and heartbreak, of course . . . But I do like to think that when I die, there will be one or two people left in whom a little spark of memory still glows. That is,' Eulalie added archly, 'unless I live to a
very
great age.'

Predictably, this was greeted by a sniff from Miss Wardstone. 'Depends usually on whether the person who dies had any money or not. If they think they're in with a chance of inheriting something, it's surprising how many relatives suddenly come out of the skirting board.'

'Well, Mrs Selsby always gave the impression of being extremely . . . comfortable,' observed Eulalie.

'Comfortable? She was loaded,' Miss Wardstone snapped. 'Her jewellery alone was worth more than most people's life savings.'

The mention of jewellery brought both of them unconsciously to turn and look at the newest resident of the Devereux. Mrs Pargeter studiously peered into her teacup.

Miss Wardstone realised she was staring and snapped her beady eyes away. 'Oh well, it will be interesting to see who does inherit, won't it, Miss Vance?'

Yes, thought Mrs Pargeter. It most certainly will.

* * *

'It is distressing,' commented Lady Ridgleigh to no one in particular, 'how much people are obsessed by money.'

'Money does come in handy,' said Mrs Pargeter judiciously, looking across at the speaker. Lady Ridgleigh was wearing a silk dress in pale green and beige Paisley. Around her neck were the same strings of pearls, unsuitable with this ensemble, lost in the colours of the pattern.

'Oh, I agree one
needs
it, Mrs Pargeter, but one ought not to have to
think
about it. That's why one employs little men like bankers and accountants.'

'Yes. You certainly need someone around who's good with money.'

'I suppose so.' Lady Ridgleigh dismissed the idea airily. 'Froggie – my husband – was not good with money.'

'I was lucky. Mr Pargeter was very good to me. Very generous.'

Lady Ridgleigh was piqued by the implicit criticism. 'It's not an issue of generosity. Froggie was extraordinarily generous. To a fault, perhaps. Generous to everyone. I suppose that's why he lost all our money.'

'Couldn't you have stopped him?' asked Mrs Pargeter, appalled at the idea.

'Good heavens, no. If a man can't lose his own money, what rights does he have?'

'But weren't you furious?'

'About the fact that he lost it? Good heavens, no. Mind you, the thought of some of the people he lost it to still rankles.' Lady Ridgleigh turned her head graciously to look at Mrs Pargeter. 'Tell me, what was Mr Pargeter's money
in
?'

Mrs Pargeter coloured. 'Oh, come, come, Lady Ridgleigh, you wouldn't answer if I asked you what Froggie's money was
in
, would you?'

'Of course I would. It was quite simple. His was in the family.'

Mrs Pargeter smiled. 'Well, so's Mr Pargeter's now.'

At that moment there was a commotion in the Seaview Lounge. Mrs Mendlingham had raised her teapot to pour another cup of tea and suddenly lost control of it. The pot had fallen, catching the edge of her tray, which was not centred on its table, and sending everything flying.

Mrs Mendlingham rose to her feet, whimpering, though whether she was in pain from the hot tea that stained the front of her grubby skirt, or whether, as the wildness of her eyes suggested, some sudden memory had upset her, it was hard to tell.

Mrs Pargeter went forward to take her arm, and was once again aware of the acrid smell that emanated from the old lady. This time there was no mistaking; it was stale urine.

'There. Are you all right?'

'Yes. Yes, I'm sorry.' The wild, faded eyes tried to focus on Mrs Pargeter's.

'What's the matter? What's upsetting you?'

'I just . . . I just remembered something.'

'What was it?'

'Well, I saw . . .' But the confidence stopped short. A light of cunning came into the old eyes. 'I'm sorry. My memory's not good these days. It comes and goes, you know.'

'I think we all find that,' said Mrs Pargeter soothingly, trying to re-establish the confessional intimacy.

'But it seems to be getting worse. Sometimes I completely forget what I've done, can't remember if I've eaten meals or . . .'

'Don't worry about it. Worrying just makes it worse.'

'I've tried all kinds of things to make it better. Trying to concentrate, talk to people about things. At one stage I tried just writing down everything that happened.'

'A sort of diary?'

Mrs Mendlingham nodded.

'That sounds a good idea. Do you still keep it?'

Again the shutter of cunning seemed to flick across the old eyes. 'Oh, no. Not any more. I've given that up. It didn't work.'

'I'm surprised. Still, never mind.'

'No.'

Mrs Pargeter had by now manoeuvred the old lady back into her armchair. 'Can you remember what it was that frightened you? Do you want to talk about it?'

The old head was shaken vigorously. 'I can't remember. It comes and goes, the memory. Sometimes things are very clear, and sometimes I just can't remember what I've done. There are great big blanks in my life. Great . . . big . . . blanks.' She lingered over the words, then, again suddenly devious, added, 'Which is perhaps just as well.'

Further conversation was halted by the majestic entry of Miss Naismith from the hall. 'I heard a noise,' she announced, and moved across to stand accusingly over the wreckage of Mrs Mendlingham's tea.

'An unfortunate accident,' said Mrs Pargeter in a conciliatory tone.

'Yes,' Miss Naismith agreed frostily.

Mrs Mendlingham shrank into her armchair, avoiding the proprietress's eye.

Mrs Pargeter continued to mediate. 'Mrs Mendlingham suddenly remembered something that upset her. You know, as she says, her memory is a little erratic.'

'It is not!' Mrs Mendlingham spoke with surprising venom. 'I don't know what you're talking about, Mrs Pargeter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my memory.' She rose out of her chair. 'The reason for the accident was that the teapot handle was greasy. That is not the first time I have noticed a certain slapdashness in the washing-up in this establishment. I trust, Miss Naismith, that this situation will shortly be remedied.'

Flinging this exit line behind her, she moved out of the Seaview Lounge with as much dignity as can be mustered by an elderly lady who has tea stains down the front of her skirt.

Her unexpected change of manner had the rare effect of striking Miss Naismith dumb.

And the proprietress of the Devereux was then presented with another bombshell.

'Well, I've done quite a lot of walking today,' said Mrs Pargeter. 'I think I'll go up and have a bath now.'

Miss Naismith rediscovered the power of speech. 'Um, no, Mrs Pargeter. Residents of the Devereux tend to have baths before breakfast or after dinner.'

'Oh. Well, I tend to have baths when I feel like them.'

An icicle formed on Miss Naismith's smile. 'We all have to adjust our behaviour a little when we enter a new environment.'

'Are you saying that there is no hot water at this time of day?'

Miss Naismith looked shocked. 'No. Of course not. The boiler is always on. There is constant hot water in the Devereux.'

'Good,' said Mrs Pargeter. 'Then I'll go and use some of it.'