A Pirate of her Own (18 page)

She met Serenity’s gaze. “You can’t imagine how upset Teresa was. She knew Morgan didn’t love her and she didn’t love him, but she agreed for the baby’s sake.”

Her face sad, Kristen folded her hands in front of her. She went to stand in front of the open windows and looked out across the lawn. “Morgan, bless his heart, tried to settle down here with her. He used to sit out on the dock for hours at sunset watching the tide come in. You could read on his face how much he missed the sea. How much he wanted to return to it. But he stayed here, by Teresa’s side, until she begged him not to worry over her. She told him that she would be fine and that he should go back to sailing. He didn’t want to at first, but my father also encouraged him. When he left, he promised Teresa he would be back in time for the baby’s birth.”

It was all starting to make sense to Serenity. “He didn’t make it.”

“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “She died shortly after giving birth.”

“And the baby?”

“Stillborn.”

“Oh, Kristen, I’m so sorry.” Serenity moved to her side and hugged her close.

Kristen patted her on the back. “It’s all right. I like to think that Teresa finally found peace. She was so unhappy those last few months. Every night she would cry herself to sleep and I could hear Morgan pacing the floor outside their room. He had no idea how to make Teresa feel better. Broken hearts are hard to heal.

“I just wish Morgan could find peace as well,” Kristen whispered. “He blamed himself for not being here with her when she died.”

Kristen pulled away and went to place towels around the bathtub. “But I’m glad to see him happy with you,” she said, looking up, her eyes sincere. “So tell me, when do the two of you plan to marry?”

Serenity was so startled that she couldn’t even speak for several seconds.

When she finally found her voice, it came out as a small croak. “I beg your pardon?”

Kristen smiled. “Don’t be so alarmed. I loved Teresa, but I love Morgan too, and all I want is for him to be happy. I’m glad he found you.”

“No, no, no,” Serenity said hastily, wondering what had made her jump to that conclusion. “We aren’t planning marriage. In fact, I plan to buy passage from this island back home while he continues on.”

Kristen straightened up from the tub with a deep frown creasing her brow. “But I thought—”

“Morgan and I barely get along,” Serenity said in a rush. “We fight over everything.”

A knowing smile curved her lips. “He makes you insane, doesn’t he?”

“Absolutely.”

“And you love to irritate him? Live for it, in fact?”

Now Serenity frowned. Did Kristen possess second sight? “How did you know?”

Her smile widened and she gave a light laugh. “I feel the same way about my husband.”

“I didn’t know you were married.”

“For six years now,” she said. “It was love at first sight. The moment I saw George, I knew he was the one for me. You feel the same for Morgan. I saw it on your face downstairs when you arrived.”

“Nay, really, I couldn’t love Morgan. He’s a pirate.”

Kristen shrugged as if the matter was completely unimportant. “So was George. So was my father. Men do many things that they later regret. Even at his worst, Morgan was never as bad as many others I’ve met. In fact, I’ve known so-called privateers and naval officers who were far more cruel than even Jake. And believe you me, there are times when Jacob Dudley could give the devil himself a run for his money.”

That was a statement Serenity didn’t doubt.

Kristen moved to her stays and started unlacing Serenity’s dress. “What’s in a man’s past doesn’t matter nearly as much as what’s in his present, and most importantly, what’s in his heart. Morgan loves you,” she said, stepping around to where Serenity could see the bright earnestness of her gaze. “I’ve never seen him stare at a woman the way he does you. His hand even lingered at your waist before you followed me up here.”

Serenity laughed. “You don’t miss anything, do you?”

“Not much. My mother calls it my own special curse.” She circled around Serenity. “Tell me, if he had never been a pirate, how would you feel about him?”

Serenity bit her lip as she thought the matter over. “He is handsome, isn’t he?”

“As sin itself.”

“Charming,” she said with a wistful sigh.

“Absolutely. Don’t forget debonnaire, kind.”

Serenity barely heard the words as she continued to tally Morgan’s finer points. “He makes me laugh when I’m not angry at him.”

Kristen
tsked
. “Oh, sweet. It’s too late for you. It’s true love if ever I’ve seen it.”

Serenity shook her head in steadfast denial. “Oh, I don’t know if I believe in true love anymore,” she said with a sigh. “There was a time, not long ago in fact, that I believed in romantic fairy tales, but these last few weeks I’ve learned that life—that people, aren’t the way I want them to be. They are the way they are, and no amount of wishing will change that.”

“Yes,” Kristen said lifting her brows, “but we don’t choose whom we love with our heads, we choose with our hearts.” She lightly touched the area on Serenity’s chest where her heart pounded in spite of her denials. “We love in spite of faults and sometimes because of them. Correct me if I’m wrong, Serenity, but when you’re around Morgan do you feel breathless?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Jittery?”

“At times.”

“Do you find yourself begging for his mere touch?”

Serenity’s face flooded with heat. How could she ever admit
that
out loud?

“So you do.”

“Well, what has that got to do—”

“It means you’re in love, Miss James. The next question is, what are you planning to do about it?”

What was she going to do about it? That was
the question that had haunted Serenity throughout her bath.

Kristen should have been an interrogator or a solicitor, with her ability to strip back delusions and reveal the truth.

What could she say? The woman was incredibly sharp of mind. And the only way Serenity had gained peace was by pleading a headache.

Now alone in the room, dressed in the blue cambric and sitting on the fainting couch in front of the open windows, Serenity allowed her thoughts full rein.

She was in love.

The truth of it had hit her hard, and yet she wondered how she could have been so blind to the truth all this time.

Why else would she have even cared about his past?

It certainly wasn’t because she’d written a silly old legend only to learn that legend was a man.

It was because she felt deceived by the man she had given her heart to.

“What am I going to do?” she murmured to herself.

She toyed with the purse of money that rested in her lap. Mr. Rodale had given it to her to buy safe passage home. The faded brown leather pouch was threadbare and ragged around the edges. From the moment he’d given it to her, she’d felt guilty. But at the time, she’d been desperate to leave. And she’d promised to get his money to him as soon as she returned home. Of course, she didn’t really know how to do that, since he would be at sea.

But she would have been home.

Home.

The word was so sweet. She would see Honor and Jonathan and her father. Douglas.

She smiled.

But she would never again see Morgan.

Closing her eyes, she remembered the feeling she’d had the day in the shop when he’d swept into her life like the phantom she’d written of in her story.

The feeling she’d had the night he’d shown up at her party to seek her out.

But most important, she remembered the feeling she’d had that night after he left her in the library—that she’d slammed the door on some kind of opportunity.

Morgan.

He was her knight in shining armor. Her dashing pirate prince who…

Who could break her heart by refusing her love.

It should be easy! she lamented to herself. She should be able to go downstairs this instant and say, Morgan Drake, pirate or not, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

But it wasn’t that simple.

Nothing in life was ever that simple.

“Good Lord, what if he laughs in my face?” she whispered.

He might. And who would blame him? Here she was, some boyishly framed miss who needed glasses to read and who spoke words of social reform. A woman who made him mad enough to chop down his own door.

He’d probably had lots of women throw themselves at him. Lots of beautiful women. Sophisticated, know-their-place women.

And not one of them had ever been able to hold on to him. Their failure gave her little hope.

“Oh, Morgan,” she whispered to herself. “If only I knew how you really felt.”

La Grande Maison
had been fashioned after the large homes of Virginia that Robert had admired in his youth. After years of fruitful piracy, and his winning hand of poker, Robert had decided to settle down on Santa Maria, and set his sights on the daughter of a local official.

Once Martha’s father had seen the house Robert was building, he’d quickly given his daughter over for a hefty slice of Robert’s wealth. She had been less than pleased with her father’s choice of husband.

Luckily, Martha’s upset at her father hadn’t lasted. In no time, Robert had won over his new bride.

In all the years Morgan had known them, they had always been happy with each other.

The only thing Robert valued more than this house and his wife were his two daughters.

Morgan sighed at the memory of Teresa. She’d been a beautiful girl with long blond hair and a sweet, docile disposition. Like her mother, she had never said a cross word, and she’d had an enchanting smile.

But her smile had never made him quiver the way Serenity’s did.

And in spite of his best intentions toward Teresa, Morgan had never loved her. The truth of that cut him deeply.

In spite of his heart, he had tried to be a good husband to her, but the lure of the sea had been too much.

Now, full circle, he stood in this same house waiting for the rustle of a feminine hem to herald the approach of a woman he was desperate to see. Twelve years ago he had been nervous to propose to Teresa. The words had even hung in his throat. It had only been by sheer will that he’d finally uttered them.

Now he wanted to see Serenity.

Morgan looked up the stairs for what seemed like the millionth time. For half an hour he’d been waiting in the large, open foyer. A split staircase curved up to the next floor. A floor where she waited.

Where was Serenity?

He grunted at the unintended double entendre. His serenity had left the moment he met
her
. Just what sort of name was “Serenity” for a woman who brought him anything but peace?

Fate was surely laughing at him.

“Morgan? Are you all right?”

He turned at Kristen’s voice as she entered the foyer from the French doors that led out to the gardens.

“I’m fine.”

“Then why are you pacing?”

“I’m not pacing.”

She cocked an amused brow.

Forcing himself to stop, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t you have something more important to do than spy on me?”

A calculating look darkened her eyes. “Well, as a matter of fact, I do. I was actually on my way to tell Miss James that a trade ship just came into port that is bound for the Colonies.”

He felt his face blanch, and if he hadn’t known better, he’d have sworn Kristen enjoyed seeing it.

“If you’ll excuse me…” She picked up the hem of her dress and started up the stairs.

“Wait!” he snapped before he could stop himself.

She turned about, her eyes wide with innocent questioning. “Yes?”

Morgan debated what to say. He wanted to go upstairs and beg Serenity not to go. He wanted her to stay with him.

His mind hurriedly searched for a logical reason for him to feel that way. A reason he could accept. One he could live with. And he finally realized what the reason must be.

It was his duty to see her home safely.

Yes, that was it.

It was his duty!

Why should she buy passage when he could transport her for free?

Then another thought struck him. “Where did she get money for passage?”

Kristen shrugged. “Maybe she pirated it.”

“You’re not funny, Kristen.”

“That’s a matter for debate. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must deliver my news. Unless…”

“Unless what?” He prayed the desperate hope he felt wasn’t etched onto his face.

“Oh, never mind.” And with that she turned around and flounced up the stairs.

Kristen paused on the second floor and peeked back to where she’d left Morgan. He looked so angry that for a moment she thought he might actually come up after her.

“You’re a stubborn, stubborn man, Morgan Drake,” she whispered. “And I pity poor Serenity for having to put up with you.”

Of course, her own mother-in-law had said the same thing to her when she married George.

Men were never easy, especially not when you loved one. As her mother had told her on her wedding night, the first two years of marriage a wife will want to devour her husband. After that, she’ll wish she had.

Kristen snickered. There were times when that was definitely true, but she also knew the pain of letting go someone you loved and the fear of never finding them again.

She’d loved George the first time she’d met him at sixteen. She had known then that she would never know happiness without him. And though she knew he loved her too, he refused to acknowledge it.

“Your father would have my head, among other things,” he’d told her. “I’m not a fitting husband for you.” And he had left her island.

Well, it had taken her four years of searching for him to get him to the altar, and neither one of them had regretted it since.

She didn’t want to see Serenity and Morgan go through the terrible nights she and George had known wondering where the other one was…whom they might be with.

And worse, the regret for those lost years that could never be recaptured. Years when they should have been together.

Nay, she wouldn’t see them suffer.

With that thought foremost on her mind, she went to wreak her havoc.

Serenity jumped at the light knock on her door. “Yes?” she called.

Kristen came in with a bright smile. “Is your head any better?”

She blushed at Kristen’s concern, especially since she’d lied about the headache to begin with. “Yes and no.”

“Well, I have some news that might help,” Kristen said, moving to stand between the couch and the windows. “There’s a ship at the docks that’s headed for the Colonies.”

“Oh,” Serenity whispered, her heart heavy. “I suppose I should send for the captain.”

“No need,” Kristen quickly assured her. “Father already told him about you, and the captain said there wouldn’t be any problems returning you home.”

Kristen twirled her hair with one finger and asked innocently, “There aren’t any problems, are there, Serenity?”

Yes,
she wanted to say. There was one big problem.

How to leave Morgan behind.

“No problem,” she lied again, her conscience biting her over the deception. “Do you know when they plan to leave?”

“In three days.”

Three days! Her heart sank. Just three more days and then she would never see Morgan again.

Kristen leaned over and whispered softly. “But you know, a lot can happen in just three days.”

“Yes,” Serenity said with a sigh. “The world could come to an end. I could get knocked senseless, or—”

“Or you could make Morgan fall in love with you and propose.”

Serenity burst out laughing. She didn’t mean to, but the very idea was so ludicrous she couldn’t help herself.

Kristen slowly folded her arms over her chest and eyeballed her. “You don’t believe me?”

Sobering, Serenity shook her head. “Morgan has made it clear that marriage is the last thing he wants.”

Kristen cocked her head. “What a man says and what he really wants are seldom the same. Trust me. When it comes to manipulating men, I doubt if Helen of Troy could top me.”

Kristen moved closer. “Think about it, Serenity. If Morgan marries you, then you’ll never have to listen to the gossips in your hometown. Sure, they’ll talk about Serenity James who ran off to sea to
marry
her true love. But they’ll never say the vicious things about you that they will if you return home alone.”

Kristen bent down so close her lips almost touched Serenity’s ear. “Think about it,” she whispered before crossing the room to stand in front of the open windows to where she could look out on the sea.

Serenity did.

It would definitely be a solution. “But what if all he wants to do is go to sea?”

Turning around, Kristen’s smile grew wider. “Let him. He’ll only go once and it won’t be for long.”

Serenity arched a brow in doubt. “What makes you so sure?”

“Do you see George here?” she asked.

“Your husband?”

“Yes. He loved the sea as much, if not more than Morgan. He swore I’d never keep him dry-docked.” Kristen looked more than pleased with herself. “Well, three months after we married, he headed out. Any idea for how long?”

Serenity shook her head.

“Two days.” Kristen held up two fingers to emphasize her words. “Two days, and he ran back swearing he’d never leave me again.”

“But he’s not here now.”

“True,” Kristen admitted. “But had I so much as poked out my bottom lip, he wouldn’t have left. In fact, I had to beg and threaten him to before he would go.”

All this sounded good to Serenity. Imagine taming a pirate! Wrapping Morgan so tightly about her finger that he would never want to leave her. Oh, she definitely liked the sound of that.

But it just seemed to good to be true.

Did she dare trust Kristen?

On the other hand, Kristen had known Morgan a long time, and in the short time Serenity had known the young woman, Kristen had realized truths about her that stunned her. Kristen was definitely observant. And she knew how to read people.

If anyone could be right about Morgan other than Morgan, it would probably be Kristen.

Lord, what if she failed?

“I don’t know, Kristen.”

Kristen shrugged. “All right. Then, think about it. But do it quickly. Time isn’t on your side.”