A Promise of Hope (8 page)

Sarah shook her head, her expression softening. “How sad. I wish I had gotten to meet his family.” She rubbed her belly. “But maybe the
kinner
will get to meet them. They may have lost their father, but maybe they can get to know his family.”

Luke nodded, wishing he could tell her more without hurting her.

“How many siblings did he have?” she asked.

The clip-clop of hooves crunching up the rock driveway traveled toward them.

“It must be Timothy.” She faced the oncoming horse. “He visited Norman tonight and must’ve stayed for supper.”

Luke silently thanked Timothy for saving him from answering her question about Peter’s siblings. Instead, he watched as Timothy stopped in front of Eli’s barn and unhitched the horse.

Sarah cleared her throat.

“Sarah.” Luke glanced at her. “Are you okay?”

Meeting his stare, she sighed. “I’ll be fine. I’m trying to convince myself not to be angry, but I keep wondering if my marriage was a mockery. I feel as if I didn’t know my husband at all.”

He frowned, guilt nipping at him. “I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you. I just want you to know the truth.”

She gave him a sad smile.
“Danki.
I appreciate it.”

“Wie geht’s?”
Timothy’s voice boomed as his boots scraped up the porch steps. He gave his sister a friendly nod and then frowned at Luke. “Isn’t it a bit late to be visiting my sister?”

“I was just getting ready to leave.” Luke folded his hands in his lap. “Beautiful evening.”

“Ya.”
Timothy turned back to his sister. “Could I possibly speak with you before you retire for the evening?” He shot another frown at Luke. “In private, Sarah Rose.”

Not wanting to wear out his welcome, Luke stood. “I guess I should be heading back to the house.”

Sarah placed her hands on the swing and started to heave herself up.

“No, no.” Luke shook his head. “Don’t get up. We can say good night here.”

She pulled the coat from her shoulders and handed it to him. “Here.
Danki.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled. “Thank you for dessert and the pleasant conversation.”

She nodded, and he wished he could steal the sadness from her eyes. Again, he wondered how Peter had snatched up such a lovely wife. Had Peter appreciated her? Perhaps not, since he hadn’t told her the truth about his past. Or maybe he’d worried the truth would scare her away.

“I’ll see you soon.” He pulled on his coat. “Sleep well.” Turning to Timothy, he nodded. “Have a good evening.”

Timothy nodded in response.

“Gut nacht,”
Sarah called as he headed down the stairs.

As he ambled down the rock driveway to Sarah’s and Peter’s home, he contemplated his evening with Sarah.

He wished he could take away the pain in her heart that the stories of Peter caused. However, he knew in the depths of his soul he was doing the right thing by telling her the truth. He hoped her questions and her openness were signs that she was beginning to trust him.

Sarah’s gaze remained glued on Luke’s silhouette as he strode through the shadows toward her house. She hugged her arms while concentrating on the information Luke had shared about Peter’s past. While the news that Peter had lied about being an orphan caused her more heartache, another question came to the forefront: could she trust everything Luke had told her about Peter? She shivered.

Timothy took off his coat and sat next to her. “Would you like my coat?”

“No,
danki.
I’m fine.” She shivered again.

“Don’t be
gegisch.”
He covered her shoulders with his coat. “Your lips are turning blue.” He chuckled at his joke.

“It’s not that cold,” she muttered, snuggling into the warmth of the jacket. “You were with Norman’s family, yes?”

“Ya.”
He glanced down at the tray. “I hope you saved me some crumbly peach pie. You know it’s my favorite.”

“Of course I saved you some,” she said. “I always do.”

“What were you thinking?” he said suddenly, his tone accusing.

“What?” She gave him a confused look.

“Why were you sitting out here in the dark, sharing dessert with…
him?”
He spat out the last word.

“I was talking with our guest, Timothy. Why is that so bad?”

“Don’t tell me you trust him, Sarah Rose.”

“Please.” She rolled her eyes and pushed an errant strand of hair back from her face. “You can let go of your
gegisch
accusations. Why wouldn’t I trust him?”
At least, I hope
I
can trust him.

Timothy’s expression softened. “Please be careful, Sarah Rose. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I’m worried about you and the
zwillingbopplin.”

“Timothy!”
Mamm
appeared in the doorway. “Have some pie.” She turned her gaze to Sarah and frowned. “Sarah Rose, get in here before you catch a cold.”

Hoisting herself up, Sarah picked up the tray from the little table beside her and headed through the door. Stepping into the kitchen, she wondered if her life would somehow get easier. She yearned to squelch all of the confusing feelings that rained down on her. She hoped the Lord would lead her toward the truth about Peter’s past—and also about Luke Troyer.

9

S
arah slathered cream-cheese frosting on another rhubarb cookie and yawned. The news of Peter’s life in Ohio, along with her brother’s words of caution about Luke, had haunted her throughout the night. Even more than before, she’d found herself doubting her marriage to Peter. Had she known him at all?

Had anything he’d told her been the truth?

Snippets of possible dishonesty flashed through her mind. She’d heard from family members that Peter had been spotted at the Bird-in-Hand post office at odd times during the day. He had also been very quiet and distant from her days before the fire.

What else had he been hiding from her?

The questions soaked her mind while she finished icing the cookies. She was wrapping the cookies in packages of three when her mother came up behind her.

“Those look absolutely scrumptious, Sarah Rose,” she said. “Nice work.”

“Danki.”
Sarah wiped her hands on a towel. “I need to sit now.”

“Ya.
Let’s find a quiet spot to sit and talk.” Taking Sarah’s arm,
Mamm
led her to the small back room that served as the bakery’s office, with a desk, file cabinet, adding machine, and ledgers. A stack of receipts sat on the corner of the desk.

“Have a seat, Sarah Rose.”
Mamm
gestured toward the chair in front of the desk. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Sinking into the chair, Sarah suppressed a groan at her mother’s serious tone. She didn’t want to be coddled. She had too much on her mind already. “I’m fine,
Mamm.”

Her mother’s blue eyes were warm and supportive, breaking down the wall Sarah was building around her heart. “I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s going on. I know it’s more than hormones, Sarah Rose. Won’t you let me help you through this?”

Sarah’s heart pounded in her chest, but she merely shrugged to shield her nerves.

Mamm
touched her hands. “Sarah Rose, did Luke tell you something last night that upset you?”

Sarah’s eyes immediately began to water. “He told me Peter wasn’t an orphan. He was raised by his parents with siblings. He left Ohio and came here because he’d had a fight with his father.”

“Ack,
Sarah Rose.”
Mamm
pulled her into her arms and held her close. “I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“I’m trying to sort through it all, but I keep thinking my whole marriage was a lie.” Her voice quavered as tears spilled down first one cheek, then the other.

“No, no. Don’t say that,”
Mamm
cooed in her ear.

“I’m remembering things Peter did that made me wonder if something was wrong. Perhaps the signs were there all along. He was so cold and distant the last few weeks before the fire. Maybe he was hiding more from me.”

“Sarah Rose, you have to stop beating yourself up over this,”
Mamm
said. He’s not here to explain why he did what he did, and speculating will only cause your heart to hurt even more.”

Wiping her eyes with the backs of her hands, Sarah looked at her mother. “But what about the
kinner?
What do I tell them when they ask about their father? What kind of a man do I tell them he was when I don’t know for certain myself?”

“The words will come to you when the time is right.”
Mamm
rested her hands on Sarah’s shoulders. “The Lord will lead your lips to the right words. Have faith in that.”

“What is faith,
Mamm?”
Sarah wished her voice would stop trembling. “What is it really?”

“Hebrews 11:1 tells us, ‘Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.’” She squeezed Sarah’s hand. “Does that help you at all?”

Sarah nodded to appease her mother, but the questions still haunted her. “And what about Luke? How do I know if I can believe him?”

“What does your heart tell you?”

“My heart is a jumbled mess. I’m not sure what it’s telling me at all.” Sarah gazed down at her lap. “I just keep thinking I’m too young to be a widow and a single mother. It somehow doesn’t seem fair.”

“But you have a family who loves you and will take care of you. That’s more than some people have.”

Sarah frowned, feeling like a heel for complaining.
“Danki.
I do appreciate and love you, but I’m not sure what to think about Luke.”

“Listen to what he has to tell you and then see what your heart says.”

Sarah nodded, but she still needed answers. She had to figure out how to get past her grief and understand what God’s plan was for her and the children.
Please God,
she prayed silently,
please show me the right path for my zwillingbopplin.

“You do good work,” Luke said as he examined the triple dresser. “Your
grossdaddi
taught you well.” Glancing around, he examined the shop, thinking how similar it was to his own back home.

The large, open area was divided into work areas separated by workbenches cluttered with an array of tools. The sweet scent of wood and stain filled his nostrils. The men working around Jake and him were building beautifully designed dining room sets, bedroom suites, entertainment centers, hutches, end tables, desks, and coffee tables.

Hammers banged, saw blades whirled, and air compressors hummed. Just like his shop back home, the air compressors powering the tools ran off diesel generators.

Returning Luke’s nod, Jake Miller swiped the back of his hand across his brow. “Thanks for the compliment. You do good work too.” He leaned back on the workbench and grabbed a bottle of water. After a long gulp, he placed it on the bench beside him. “So, you’re from Ohio, huh?”

“Ya.”
Luke sat on a bench and opened a can of Coke. “Middlefield.”

“I didn’t realize Peter had grown up in Ohio. I wonder why he didn’t tell anyone about his family back home.”

Rubbing his lower lip, Luke contemplated how much to reveal about Peter’s history. “I guess you could say he was running from some things in his past.”

“Why hide the past?” Jake wondered. “Peter had a great life here. He and Sarah seemed so happy. I can’t see how telling where he came from would ruin that. I think it would be more detrimental and risky to create a web of lies you have to remember so you don’t flub it.”

A smile crept across Luke’s lips. “You’re a very wise young man.”

Grinning, Jake stood. “I try.”

“So, what’s your story?” Luke asked.

“Well, I live about a mile up the road in half of a two-story house my uncle owns, and I love working on furniture. That’s about it.”

“Do you have a special
maedel
in your life?”

Jake shrugged. “I guess you could say I have a girl. At least, she’s special to me. She moved back home to Virginia, but she’s supposed to come visit in the spring.”

“Oh?” Luke grabbed a can of stain.

“She’s Lindsay’s older sister, Jessica.” Jake grabbed a paintbrush from his tool cart. “We met last summer when she came to live with Rebecca and Daniel. She wanted to go back home to live with her mom’s best friend and finish high school. I’m hoping I can convince her to go to college in Pennsylvania, so we have a chance to get to know each other better. She’s got another year of high school yet, though.”

“She’s English?” Luke asked.

“Yup.” Jake grinned. “She’s a great girl.”

“You seem smitten.” Luke shook the can of stain and then opened and stirred it.

The young man chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I am. I just wish she’d realize how smitten I am and give me a chance.”

“Luke,” a voice behind him called.

Turning, Luke spotted Timothy frowning near the door to the parking lot. He wondered idly if that man went through life with a dark cloud over his head.

“Can I speak with you for a moment?” Timothy asked, motioning toward the door.

“Ya.”
Luke cut his eyes to Jake. “I’ll be back to help you stain this.”

Jake took the can of stain from him. “No problem. Take your time.”

Luke crossed the shop and followed Timothy out to the parking lot, where they stood by a pile of scrap wood. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“I’d like to know what your intentions are with my sister.”

“My intentions?” Luke gripped his suspenders. “I reckon I intend to become her friend so I can be a part of her
zwillingbopplin’s
lives. That’s as far as my intentions go. I don’t see why you have a problem with that.”

“My problem is, Sarah is in a fragile state, and she doesn’t need you showing up here and confusing her.” He gestured wildly for emphasis. “She’s suffered a huge loss, and you don’t need to be sticking your nose in her business.”

Luke shook his head while trying to make sense of Timothy’s anger. “I don’t understand why you have this resentment toward me. I lost Peter too.” He studied Timothy for a moment. “How much did Peter tell you?”

Timothy shrugged and looked away. “Enough.”

“Why don’t you try being more specific? I’d like to know why you know more than everyone else in your family. Were you and Peter close?”

“Ya.”
Timothy met his gaze, sadness filling his eyes. “He was my best friend.”

Luke’s eyes widened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I can’t let the rest of the family know how much Peter told me about his past. It makes me look bad.”

“It makes you look like a liar,” Luke finished his thought.

“Exactly.” Timothy’s expression softened. “You’re his brother.”

Luke knew he was caught. “I am.”

Timothy snapped his fingers. “I knew it!”

Luke folded his arms in front of his chest. “What else do you know?”

“I know Peter left after having a horrible argument with your
dat.
And he regretted it very much.”

“He did?” Luke raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“He said he wished he’d had the courage to make things right between him and you and also him and your
dat.”

Luke scowled. “If he only knew what he put us through by leaving. Pop was so distraught that he had a stroke, and I nursed him until he died. I gave up everything to care for him. I lost my girlfriend and the chance to have a family of my own while Peter rebuilt his life here with a new family. It’s hard for me to believe he had regrets when he had this.” He gestured around the parking lot with his arms.

“I’m sorry. I truly am. But you have to believe Peter wanted to make amends before the
boppli
was born. He was talking about how to tell Sarah the truth.” Timothy rubbed his chin and looked across the parking lot. “He was like a brother to me. We used to talk for hours.”

“That’s how it was before he abandoned Pop and me.” Luke shook his head, disappointment mixed with resentment simmering through him. “Our address never changed. He could’ve written us. He had eight years to make things right.”

“He wanted to make things right.” Timothy shrugged. “I believed he would’ve done so if he’d had more time.”

More questions bombarded Luke. “So why did he open up to you and no one else?”

“I told you—we were best friends.”

“You knew the truth all along?”

Timothy shook his head. “No, I didn’t know from the beginning. We quickly became friends when he got the job at the shop, but he didn’t tell me he had family in Ohio until I met him at the post office one day about a year and a half ago. I found it strange that he had a post-office box. It seemed an unnecessary expense. Then he confided in me that he received letters there from his family in Ohio. He begged me not to tell Sarah. He said the news that he had family would crush her, and he wanted to tell her when the time was right.”

“Did he say who the letters were from?” Luke braced himself, wondering if Timothy knew the truth about DeLana.

Timothy shrugged. “I had assumed they were from relatives, maybe your
dat
or even you. I never thought much about it.”

Peter didn’t tell him about DeLana.

“So where does that leave us now?” Luke asked. “You know who I am, but everyone else thinks I’m Peter’s cousin.”

Timothy’s expression hardened. “It doesn’t leave us anywhere different. You know I want you go to back home and let Sarah pick up the pieces of her life and move on. Your being here complicates things for her. She doesn’t need to know any more about Peter’s life back in Ohio. She belongs here with us.”

Luke blanched. “You think I’m going to take her away?”

“I didn’t say that. I don’t want her to even consider leaving, which is why you need to leave.”

“You also don’t want me to tell the rest of the family you kept secrets from them.”

Timothy frowned.

“It’s up to you and your conscience to come clean with your family, but I can tell you this—those
kinner
are my family and my only connection to my brother. I have every right to be a part of their lives. They are as much my family as they are yours. You said Peter was like a brother to you and you lost him.” Luke jammed a finger into his own chest. “Well, I lost him eight years ago when he chose to run out on my pop and me and start a new life without so much as telling us where he was living. I don’t intend to hurt your sister. I only want to be her friend and be a part of her
kinners
’s lives. That’s all.”

“Sarah doesn’t need you. She has the Kauffmans, and she belongs with us. You belong back in Ohio in your church district with your family. Peter must’ve left you for a reason.”

Luke shook his head. “You’re wrong. I think it’s Sarah’s decision if she wants me to stay or not.”

Timothy’s eyes narrowed to slits. “My sister is in no condition to make decisions like that. She’s lost her husband and is about to become a mother for the first time. If you tell her who you really are and then ask her to decide if she wants you around, you’ll hurt her even more. You’ll probably crush whatever spirit she has left in her. Is that what you want?”

Knowing Timothy was right, Luke shook his head.

“Good. I’m glad we’ve reached an understanding. You need to start packing and head back to Ohio. That’s where you belong.” Timothy turned and stalked back into the shop.