A Proper Pursuit (52 page)

“Very well,” she said, exhaling. “Do you remember how I used to tell you tales about a princess who battled evil sorcerers and monstrous dragons and finally married a handsome prince? That was my life, Violet. My brothers were evil men, monsters who held me captive until a handsome prince came and rescued me. I did some very bad things before I met John Hayes. My father, my brothers—they were not good people, and they made me do bad things. John knew the truth about my past. When I told him, he said that Jesus forgave a woman in the Bible for the sinful life she lived, and He would forgive me too. But we never told John’s father the truth.

“Then one terrible day my two older brothers found me. They came to our little town and told John’s father.My brothers demanded a lot of money from him to keep quiet about all the things I had done. Your grandfather hated me even more for bringing this shame upon his family. Everyone in his church and in the nice little town would hear the truth unless he paid the money. I knew that my brothers would never be satisfied if we paid one time. They would always come back for more and more and more. So I chose to leave and go with them instead.”

“Father told me you left because you didn’t want to feel tied down anymore.”

“That’s what I told him. I wanted to make him angry with me so he would not follow me and beg me to come home. I left so that you and John could have the best possible life, not stained by my past. And look at you! You are beautiful. You look like a princess in your magnificent gown. You must have many rich young princes who want to marry you. And that is what I wanted most of all for you. A life of love and happiness—not a life like mine. The only way I could give that to you was to leave. I did it for you and for John. And now you must go and marry well, live well. You must forget all about me.”

“But I can’t forget you, Mama. I love you! I don’t care about your family. I want to stay with you.”

“No. That’s not possible. Don’t you see what I am?”

“Please, Mama. I could—” “I don’t want you here!” she said harshly. “You need to leave! It’s time for the next show!” She opened the door and pointed to the hallway. Exotic music had begun playing in the background, and I heard drums pounding in the distance. “If you love me, then live the rest of your life without me, Violet… . Go!”

I didn’t move.

She untied her ragged bathrobe and let it drop to the floor, revealing her flimsy costume. Then she turned her back on me and hurried away in the direction of the drums. The scent of roses trailed behind her. I ran outside, blinded by tears.

And I ran straight into Silas McClure.

Chapter

36

H
ey, hey—whoa!” Silas said as he caught me by the arm.

“Let me go!” I wanted to run and run and never stop, but he didn’t ease his grip.

“There’s no place to go, Violet. Just take a minute, okay? Take a deep breath.” I did what he said. I had no choice. He wouldn’t let go of me. I could hear the music from my mother’s theater drifting faintly through the walls along with the relentless drumbeat.

“W-what are you doing here?” I asked when I could speak.

“I saw you leave the casino all alone, and I followed you. I was afraid you’d do something crazy like come over here. I figured I’d better come after you.”

“I found her,” I said, my voice shaking. “I found my mother. The woman in your picture—”

“I figured as much. There’s a very strong resemblance.”

“But she sent me away!” My tears started falling again.

Silas relaxed his grip on my arm and reached for my hand. “Come on. This is a lousy place to talk.”

He led me around the building to the Midway’s main street. The noise and bright lights and activity made my head swim. I was afraid that Silas was going to take me back to the smoke-filled casino, and I didn’t want to go there. But he led me in the opposite direction and stopped at the base of the giant wheel. He bought two tickets. A few minutes later we were slowly rising above the bustle and confusion. Silas was a strong, silent presence at my side, saying nothing as we ascended. Lights twinkled below us and in the starry sky above us, and I felt my sorrow slowly ease. By the time we stopped at the very top, my tears were under control.

“Do you want to tell me what your mother said, Violet? I’m sure there was a very good reason why she sent you away.”

The glorious wheel had worked its magic, and I was able to see past my bruised feelings and recall her words. “She left home because she loved me. She wanted a better life for me than the one she’d had. She thought I would be better off without her.”

“And is that why she sent you away now?”

I nodded, remembering her shame as she’d pulled her robe closed over her costume.

“Violet, I’m so sorry,” he murmured.

“My mother loves me. I finally understand that. She loves me so much she gave up her happiness for mine.”

By the time we reached the bottom again I was calm. “Thank you for finding her for me.”

“You did as much of the work as I did.”

I felt drained as I stood in the bustling Midway, hearing the excitement and laughter all around me. “I guess we can go back to the casino now,” I said with a sigh.

“No, Violet. I’m taking you home.”

I wondered if he and his friend had already robbed the casino and he was using me to make his getaway again.

“What about Nelson and the others?”

“I’m sorry to say that your friend is a fool. That casino is as crooked as a witch’s nose. If he borrows money to gamble in that place, he’ll lose it all. He might as well toss his money into Lake Michigan.”

“But what else can he do? He has to pay his father back.”

“Well, my advice to him was to tell his father the truth and suffer the consequences. From what I hear, his father will never miss a few hundred bucks. I’m not sure your friend was listening, though.”

We walked to the entrance gate, and Silas flagged down a cab. He helped me climb inside and sat opposite me. I couldn’t stop thinking about love on the long ride home, and what a truly powerful force it was. It made people take enormous risks and make huge sacrifices. There was so much more to it than what I’d learned from reading Ruth’s romance novels. Aunt Birdie had been the wisest of all the Howell sisters. I needed to make certain I married for love. And none of the three men who had proposed to me had loved me—the real me.

Now my time was up. Father was coming tomorrow. I would have to join Aunt Matt’s suffragettes and remain a spinster because I didn’t want to marry Herman Beckett or Nelson Kent or Louis Decker. I had thrown away my chances with any of Aunt Agnes’ other suitors, even if I had wanted to live that phony life.

My parents had truly loved each other, but like Romeo and Juliet, interference from their families had doomed them. Katya and Nelson would likely face similar opposition from their families. Even so, I would be rooting for them to overcome all of their obstacles. I remembered the kiss they had shared and sighed.

What would it feel like to be kissed that way? Too bad none of my suitors had ventured to steal a kiss from me. At least I would have something to remember in my old age. I wondered if Aunt Matt’s beau had kissed her before she’d learned the truth about him. Did she have the memory of that one kiss to see her through the lonely nights? If only there was a way I could experience a kiss—just once—before I gave up men forever.

Silas didn’t say a word on the journey home. I noticed that he was no longer smiling. He paid for the carriage and let it drive away, then walked with me to the front steps.

“Are you still planning on leaving tomorrow?” he asked, pausing outside our front door.

“Yes. My father is coming to take me home to Lockport.”

“Listen, before you go, I need to tell you the truth about myself.”

“I already know the truth, Silas.”

“You do? How did—?”

“I found out about the robbery on the day we went to the fair because my aunt works in the Woman’s Pavilion. She told me the guards caught one of the thieves but that the other one got away. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“That was a real mess. I’m sorry—”

“Josephine and Robert were in disguise, weren’t they?”

“Violet, I’m so sorry about all of that. I didn’t know where else to get a chaperone, and I wanted to take you to the fair so badly.”

“I understand.”

“Just so you know, they were working the fair that day, but I wasn’t.”

“But you were working on the train the day we met, weren’t you?” If I had learned anything at all this summer about being a detective, it was to plunge right in and pretend I knew the truth, then wait and see what people told me. “That’s why you were in disguise on the train. I know all about that too, Silas. And that you aren’t a salesman.”

“Guilty as charged,” he said, holding up his hands in surrender. “Listen, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you the truth about myself sooner, but I was afraid you would tell me to get lost—and I wouldn’t blame you. I know I’m unworthy of you. I was going to tell you the truth last night when I brought you the photograph, but then your aunt was so upset and—”

“You really helped her, Silas. I want to thank you again for being so good with her.”

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to reconsider—?”

“It’s not a good idea. Besides, I’m leaving Chicago, probably for good. But thanks for helping me find my mother.”

“If there’s anything else I can ever do for you, just ask, okay?”

I had nothing to lose. I didn’t want to die an old maid who had never been kissed. It was just an experiment, I told myself. Silas was a confessed thief, but in his fine tuxedo and white bow tie, he was a very respectable-looking one. If he could pretend to be a gentleman for an evening, then I could pretend that he was one.

“Now that you mention it, I would like to ask one more favor of you, Mr. McClure, but I hope you won’t get the wrong idea about me. I would like …” All of my courage fled. I couldn’t go through with it. I turned away. “Never mind.”

“No, wait.” He caught my arm. “I’ll do whatever I can, Violet. And I could never think ill of you. Please tell me.”

I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. The tenderness and love that I saw in them began to hypnotize me. I couldn’t seem to look away.

“You’re right about Nelson being a fool. My other suitors turned out to be disappointing too. And so it is starting to appear that I will never marry.”

“Never marry? A girl as smart and as pretty as you? I don’t believe it.”

“It’s too complicated to explain. But the truth is … you see … I mean, the favor I would like to ask … if you wouldn’t mind …”

“Just ask me, Violet.”

“I have never been kissed, Mr. McClure. And I would like to be—kissed, that is. Just once. So I could see what it’s like.”

“And you want me to be the one?” he asked breathlessly.

“I-if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Whoa,” he said, exhaling. “I never saw that coming! But I would be honored.” He looked into my eyes for a very long time as if trying to steady himself. “Are you ready?” he finally asked.

“Yes,” I whispered.

Silas leaned toward me. I closed my eyes. His lips touched mine, as softly as a butterfly landing, and rested there for a moment. Then he moved closer and his mouth seemed to melt into mine as he kissed me. It was the most wonderful sensation I had ever felt. It started where his warm, tender lips joined mine and traveled slowly through me like a wave of warm water.

Much too soon, the kiss ended. Silas moved away.

“How was that?” he murmured. In the moonlit darkness, his eyes looked as though they were made of navy blue velvet.

“Oh my …” I breathed. “I had no idea that a kiss traveled all the way to your toes.”

“Yeah. I felt it too.”

“Why are we whispering?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

He moved toward me again and this time he took my face in his hands. He was going to kiss me again. And I wanted him to.

The second kiss was much firmer and lasted much longer. I felt the stubble of his chin as his face brushed against mine. This time the sensation that washed over me was like falling into a raging river and being swept downstream. The power of it came not only from the touch of his lips against mine but from the warmth of his hands on my face and in my hair. My knees turned so weak I thought I might fall over. He finally pulled away once again, but I didn’t want him to.

“That … that was even more wonderful,” I whispered.

“Yeah …” We both sounded like we had just swum across a river and collapsed on shore. “Violet? May I… ?”

“Yes, please … one more …” I closed my eyes. This time his arms encircled me, and he pulled me close. I clung tightly to him, no longer simply being kissed, but kissing him in return. It was every bit as passionate as the kiss Nelson and Katya had shared—but I wasn’t observing this time. I was drowning in it.

The sensation was the most amazing, terrifying, wonderful, frightening one I had ever felt. All of it—the feel of his strong arms around me, his sturdy body close to mine, the way he breathed, the way his skin caressed my skin, his scent. As his warm lips melted into mine, I decided that a kiss was the most wonderful thing in the world. And now that I had experienced one, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life without another. No wonder Aunt Birdie hugged every man she met.