A Reason to Love (7 page)

Leif’s blunt statement brought her thoughts to a screeching halt. She lifted her gaze to meet his. “I know I missed her call.”

Something she planned to apologize to Callie for in person after she and Nick got back from their honeymoon. “I did try to call her this morning, but last night there was someplace else I needed to be.”

He wasn’t buying it. There was no getting around telling Leif the truth. “I’m the one who brought Spence to the wedding. We got there too late to be seated, so we watched from the narthex. When it was over, Spence bolted back outside, and I went with him.”

She closed her eyes as the memory of those awful moments came flooding back. “When I first talked to him, he acted like his old self. Friendly. Normal, you know what I mean? That lasted until the service started. One minute he was fine, and the next he was so angry.”

Leif jerked his head in a quick nod. “No surprise there. A lot of us come back from deployment with a few anger issues. What happened after that?”

She frowned as she tried to replay the events in her head. “That dog found him. Spence seemed really happy to see him.”

Leif stood with his shoulders slumped and his eyes closed, as if the memories hurt. He didn’t speak again until after he took another drink of his beer. “Spence was the one who adopted the dog after he saved us from walking into an ambush. The mutt likes me and Nick, too, but Mooch really belonged to Spence. The two were inseparable.”

The former soldier opened his eyes and stared off into the distance, his jaw tight, and with a death grip on his beer. “I just wish Spence had been as happy to see me and Nick.”

What could Melanie say to that? She wished she knew some way to ease the bewildered pain in Leif’s dark eyes, but he was right. Spence’s fury had been impossible to miss.

Leif finally spoke again, his voice sounding rough. “You left the church to follow him.”

Again, not a question, but she answered anyway. “Yeah, I did. Considering how upset he was, I was worried about what he’d do next. It took me a while, but I finally found him at that bar on the outskirts of town. I don’t know the name of the place, but it’s a cinder block building.”

For the first time since they’d come out on the porch, Leif smiled just a little. “Nick and I just call it BEER because that’s what the only sign on the whole place says.”

She’d noticed that, too. “Yeah, that’s the right one.”

How much more should she tell him? “Spence made it clear he didn’t particularly want my company, but I ignored that and stayed anyway. At the rate he was downing beers, I didn’t think he should be alone.”

Leif’s expression was a little less grim. “That was nice of you, and I’ll let Callie know why you were MIA at the reception. She’ll be glad to know he wasn’t alone.”

He drained the last of his beer and set the bottle aside. As he did, he said, “I don’t suppose he told you anything about what happened, you know, over there. Where he’s been all this time. Hell, even where he is now.”

Melanie rose to her feet to stand next to Leif. She didn’t know him all that well, but it hurt to see him in such pain. Putting her hand over his on the railing was not much to offer in the way of comfort, but it was the best she could do. “No, he didn’t talk about what happened to him, and I didn’t ask. At closing time, Liam, the owner, offered to take care of Spence’s motorcycle for him, and I brought him back here for the night since he didn’t have any other place to stay.”

Leif’s temper slipped loose. “Damn him, that’s bullshit! He could’ve stayed at his own house. Did he think we would’ve kicked his ass to the curb?”

She so didn’t want to get caught in the middle of this mess. “I’m sure he didn’t think that, Leif. To tell the truth, I didn’t even think about dropping him off there. It was my idea to bring him here.”

That much was true, and Spence had been in no condition to argue.

“I honestly don’t know where he is right now, but I’ll tell him you stopped by when I see him again.”

Leif went on point, his dark eyes boring into hers. “So you will be seeing him again?”

She cursed herself for letting that slip, but too late now. “Yes, he’s supposed to stop by later. Do you want me to give him a message for you?”

“Damn straight I do. Tell that idiot to come see me or I’ll come hunting for him. I don’t know what’s going on in that thick skull of his, but he owes me that much.”

His anger drained away just as quickly as it had come. His voice was thick with emotion as if he could barely get the words out. “Damn it, Melanie, I thought he was dead. We all did. Obviously he’s got issues with us right now, and maybe he has a right to be angry. Tell him . . . tell him I’ll be around if he wants to talk.”

“I will, Leif.”

“Thanks for being there for him last night. I’m glad he wasn’t alone. I just wished he would’ve given us a chance to be there for him, too.”

Leif charged down the porch steps. She watched as he climbed into her father’s truck and drove away. The poor guy was clearly hurting, but then so was Spence. God, what a mess.

She had no idea what to say to Spence about Leif’s visit. Yes, he really should talk to his friends, but it wasn’t her call. She also didn’t want to get caught in the middle of it all. On the way into the house, she checked the time. At least there was still time to work in the garden. And who knows, maybe she’d be hit with inspiration while pulling weeds.

Stranger things had happened, not the least of which was having Spence Lang back from the dead.

S
pence started to slow down but immediately sped up again to zoom past the driveway that led to his family home without stopping. Rather than dwell on the past, he gunned the engine on his bike and tried to put some distance between himself and everything he wasn’t ready to face.

It was almost time to pick up something for dinner and head back to Melanie’s house. He hoped she hadn’t changed her mind about renting the cottage to him, because living in an apartment held little appeal. The thought of having other people right on the other side of a thin wall where he could hear them moving around at all hours made his skin crawl. It would be too much like being back in that cell again.

The wail of a police siren jerked Spence back out of the past. He backed off on the accelerator and checked his rearview mirror. Damn, less than twenty-four hours back in town and he’d already drawn the attention of the cops. How fast had he been going? He had no idea, but no doubt the cop would be only too happy to tell him.

After pulling off onto the narrow shoulder, he shut off the engine and removed his helmet. Based on a lot of experience, he assumed the officer would want to see Spence’s driver’s license. He got it out and waited to see how much trouble he was in.

“Put that away, Spence. Even I’m not a big enough bastard to give you a ticket on your first day back in town.”

It took Spence a second to match the cop’s face with a name. He dismounted and stuck out his hand. “Gage Logan? Well, I’ll be damned. When did you get back in town?”

Gage gave his hand a firm shake. “After I lost my wife to cancer, my daughter and I moved back to town. I took over as the chief of police after Chief Green retired.”

“I’m sorry about your loss.”

Gage nodded as he studied Spence. After a few seconds, he slowly grinned. “You’re looking pretty good for a dead man. You caused quite a stir at Nick and Callie’s wedding last night.”

Spence tried to laugh but wasn’t very successful. “Leave it to you not to pull any punches, Gage. I take it you were there?”

“Yeah, I was.” Gage took off his sunglasses to give Spence a hard look. “Showing up unannounced like that came as quite a shock to folks. I don’t know where you’ve been, but I’m guessing they had phones there.”

Okay, so the man liked to play hardball. “Yeah, they did. I just didn’t have anybody I wanted to call.”

He waited for the man to rip into him over that, but he didn’t. Instead, Gage slowly nodded. “That’s what I thought. Look, I’m going to tell you the same thing I told your buddies Nick and Leif when they came to town. The pastor at the Community Church has organized a veterans’ support group that meets on Saturday afternoons. I don’t know what happened to you over there, but I’m guessing it wasn’t any picnic. If you find yourself having trouble dealing with stuff, come to a meeting.”

Great, someone else who thought Spence needed help getting his head back on straight. He got up in Gage’s face. “How would you know what I need?”

Gage stood his ground, his friendly lawman persona gone, replaced with hard-ass cop. Even so, his voice remained calm and controlled. “You might have had it worse than most, but you’re not the only one who’s been through hell and lived to tell about it. Sharing some of it with others who’ve been there, done that, and earned the fucking T-shirt might help reduce the size of that chip on your shoulder.”

Spence hated to back down, but he did. Then he said the first thing that came to mind. “I get it, Gage. One step at a time.”

Raising one eyebrow and looking a bit puzzled, Gage said, “Huh?”

“That’s what the counselor told me to say to myself when things get to be too much.” He brushed some dirt off his helmet. “Despite what you’ve seen, I do try not to be a complete jackass. Maybe things will get easier once the dust settles a bit.”

Somehow he doubted Gage believed him. He was proven right when Gage said, “Do us both a favor and keep those meetings in mind. And if you need someone to walk through the door with you the first time, give me a call. I still go once in a while.”

Gage held out his hand for a second time. “It’s good to see you, Spence. Real good.”

After they shook hands, Spence’s own smile felt more natural. “Thanks, Gage. It sure as shit feels strange being here after everything that happened. Seeing a few familiar faces helps. I could use a good, strong dose of normal about now.”

He climbed back on the motorcycle. Before he put on his helmet, Gage moved in front of the bike, blocking his way. “One more thing, Spence. If I catch you ripping down the street that fast again, I’ll personally nail your ass to the wall for it. Are we clear on that?”

Again, some things never changed. Spence had enjoyed the same kind of friendly adversarial relationship with Gage’s predecessor. “Perfectly, sir.”

Gage waited for him to pull out onto the street before following, which forced Spence to keep to a more sedate pace. When he reached the next intersection, Gage drove up next to him in the right turn lane. He waved one last time and then drove off.

Just for grins, Spence gunned his engine and tore across the intersection but immediately reined it back in. He could see Gage shaking his head and laughed. Having had his fun for the day, Spence headed for Gary’s Drive-In to pick up burgers, fries, and two of Gary’s amazing shakes. Probably not the easiest meal to carry on his motorcycle, but the shakes should ride all right in his saddlebags. He could prop them up with his clothes for the short distance back to Melanie’s house.

If not, oh well. He needed to do laundry anyway.

•   •   •

Dinner in hand, Spence knocked on Melanie’s front door. As he waited for her to answer, he spotted an empty beer bottle sitting on the porch railing. There was no telling how long it had been there, but it definitely looked out of place. He tucked the two shakes he’d bought into the crook of his arm and held the bag of food with the same hand. Then he picked up the beer bottle and held it out so it was the first thing Melanie saw when she opened the door.

Her eyes went right to it. “Come on in.”

As he walked past her into the house, the flash of worried guilt in her expression told him he was right. The only question was which one of his friends had come calling. On second thought, he knew, because Nick and Callie had no doubt left town on their honeymoon.

“So, what did Leif want?”

Melanie glanced back over her shoulder. “He wanted to know how long I’d known you weren’t—”

She cut herself off midsentence, but he knew what she’d been about to say. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘dead,’ Mel. What did you tell him?”

“I told him the truth. That I ran into you at the cemetery. That I thought another member of the squad the three of you served in had come for the wedding. That I was as shocked as everyone else was to find out you were back.”

He followed her the rest of the way to the kitchen and divvied up the food. “He didn’t give you any grief, did he? Because this is between me, him, and Nick. I won’t have him hassling you.”

She sat down and reached for her burger. “No, it wasn’t like that at all. When I didn’t show up at the reception, they eventually figured out that I had gone after you. Leif wanted to make sure you were all right. That’s pretty much the sum total of our discussion except that he asked me to tell you that he’d like to talk. You know, whenever you’re ready.”

Yeah, like that was going to happen anytime soon. What did Leif think they had to talk about? The depth of their treachery burned straight through him. The selfish bastards had no right to be living in his house with his dog and his woman.

As the ranting and raving inside his head wound down, he realized he’d tuned out while Melanie was trying to tell him something. The only reason he noticed now was that there was an increasing note of urgency in her voice that hadn’t been there only seconds before.

“Spence, I said put that down and stand still while I get the paper towels!”

What the fuck was she talking about? Before he could ask, she was back and trying to take something away from him. “Give me the cup.”

He had to actually look down to see what she was talking about. Holy hell, he’d crushed the Styrofoam cup that had held his shake. Right now what little that was left of it was oozing through his fingers to join the rest on the table and floor.

“Son of a bitch!”

He grabbed a wad of paper towels from Melanie and used it to wrap up the broken chunks of Styrofoam. He carried the mess over to the trash and tossed it. Could he look any more like a crazy person?

Struggling to sound calm when all he wanted to do was howl, he growled, “Sit and eat while I clean this up. There’s no use in letting your dinner get cold.”

When he softened his order with a “Please,” Melanie silently handed him the roll of towels and retreated to the other side of the kitchen. He didn’t blame her for wanting to put some distance between them. Maybe he should just leave. She hadn’t signed on to put up with his rapid-fire mood swings.

Kneeling down to wipe up the melting mess, he fought to keep his voice low and soothing. “If you want me to leave, don’t be afraid to say so.”

Please don’t be afraid, Mel,
he added silently. He couldn’t stand it if the war had changed him to the point that he couldn’t trust himself to be around innocent civilians like her.

Her feet appeared in his peripheral vision. Good. She set the trash can down within his reach. “Did you have a chance to check out the cottage?”

Bless her for changing the subject. This was embarrassing enough without having to discuss it. “I did. It’s perfect for what I need.”

He looked up when she snickered. “Really, Spence? You like doilies, not to mention that lovely pink and white tile in the bathroom? Maybe the war did more damage than you thought.”

Holy crap! Did she really just tease him about the war? Maybe he hadn’t screwed up things completely. He finished wiping up the shake and tossed the towels in the trash. “Okay, so maybe I’m not much into doilies, and the three identical sets of cat wind chimes are a bit over-the-top.”

When she laughed, he added, “However, I have to admit that the shower curtain with the pink poodles on it is a perfect match for the tile. I can’t pass up a chance to live surrounded by such excellent taste in decor.”

She held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, if you’re sure. We can hammer out all the details later. I’ll call the woman who cleans house for me and ask her to give the place a quick polish.”

Spence sat down at the table and unwrapped his burger. “No need. I’m actually pretty handy with cleaning supplies.”

“Fine, but for the sake of your reputation, you should at least let me spring for a new shower curtain.”

As she talked, she got a glass out of the cabinet and dumped half her shake in it and slid it across the table toward him. “What if your army buddies found out you were showering surrounded with all that froufrou?”

Spence didn’t know which he wanted to protest more: that he didn’t have any buddies left who were likely to see the inside of the cottage or that she’d shared her shake with him. In the end, he settled on saying, “I think you’re just jealous of the poodles, but I’ll pick up a new one since I have to shop for a few essentials anyway. Most of my stuff is still in storage, but I don’t want to send for it until I know how long I’m going to be staying in town.”

“Just deduct the cost from the first month’s rent.”

The cost of a stupid shower curtain wouldn’t break him, but he didn’t want to argue the point. He held up his glass as if offering a toast to thank her for sharing. “So, what fun things did you do with your day?”

Melanie’s smile melted away. Obviously that wasn’t the right topic of conversation. “I’m sorry. I guess I hit on a sore subject.”

She toyed with one of her fries, using it to draw a circle in her ketchup. “No, it’s fine. I spent part of the afternoon at the office when I’d rather have had more time out in the sunshine.”

That last part sounded like an excuse and not the real reason why she’d hated going into work on a sunny Sunday afternoon. He’d bet good money on that.

“It must be tough dealing with your father’s death and having to take over the company at the same time. At least you grew up around the business.”

She finally ate that poor fry. “Yeah, it’s been rough. The main problem is that I grew up
around
the business. I didn’t grow up
in
the business, if that makes sense.”

Interesting. “But you used to work there summers just like I did.”

Melanie’s answering sigh was filled with pure frustration. “Yeah, Dad let me work there, but the job didn’t teach me anything about running the business. All I did was file work orders and things like that. He wouldn’t even let me answer the phone.” She shrugged. “To say that he was old school when it came to the roles women should play would be to put it mildly. Dad saw it as his job to take care of Mom and me, which meant making all of the financial decisions for the family. That way we didn’t have to worry our pretty little heads about things like paying the bills.”

Spence leaned back in his chair and studied the woman across from him. Back in high school, she’d been one of the top students. Mel had always been on the quiet side, but she’d still been a leader in their class. He seemed to remember she’d won full-ride scholarships to two top-rated liberal arts colleges, one here in Washington and the other somewhere in the East. Everyone had been surprised when she’d chosen to accept the second offer. Based on what she’d just said, maybe they shouldn’t have been.

“I’m guessing that’s why you moved to . . . Spokane, wasn’t it?”

She nodded. “Yes, I wanted to be close enough to visit but far enough away that I could live my own life.”

Melanie paused to sip her shake. “I don’t mean to bad-mouth my father. He meant well, but it was a major fight when I finished my master’s degree and decided to take the job in Spokane. Both of my parents expected me to come right back here and become a clone of my mother.”

“I’m sure he was proud of you, Melanie, even if you didn’t always see eye to eye on things.”