A Reputation to Uphold (23 page)

Dante closed his eyes. Inhaled a lungful of air that was a physical pain in his tight chest...

‘Hello, Dante.’

...And his pulse skyrocketed into the one hundred and sixties when her soft husky voice crashed into his psyche with the ferocity of a sledgehammer.

Only then did he focus on her flawless face. Pale, she was so pale. Grey smudges of dark days and darker nights weighty beneath her eyes.

A giant fist gripped his guts, punched his heart. ‘
Cristo
, Eva. Are you sick?’

Huge green eyes darted over his face, her brow nipping tight. ‘I was just about to ask you the same thing.’

‘I do not care about me,
cara
, are you unwell?’ He stepped over the threshold, hand up to feel her brow...a crucifying claw tearing at his insides, when she shrank away from his touch.

Dante stepped back. But not before he caught her pure soft scent, arousing him, clouding his brain.

‘I’m not sick, Dante,’ she said on a trembling rush, ‘just tired. I haven’t stopped since—’

‘
Sì
, of course. Congratulations,
cara
. An Arunthian Princess is quite a coup d’etat.’

She tried for a small smile. ‘We met at a charity dinner. I pushed for a chance to draw up some designs. She adored them. Most of my consultations came off too.’

‘I am so proud of you,
tesoro.
’

‘Thank you,’ she whispered, placing her hand on the soft curve of her stomach, as if she ached. That tiny movement a bolt of lightning cracking through the brume in his mind.

It was tactless and he knew she would suspect it was the only reason he was here, but, ‘Do you know if you are...?’

Crushing her lips, she gave a small shake of her head and a tumult of conflicting emotions swirled inside of him. A crushing regret that she would never carry his child. Pain that he would never see her after this night. And a sharp sense of relief that he could tell her the truth without her questioning his sincerity.

‘Twenty minutes, Eva. That is all I ask.’

A soft blush heated her cheeks and it took him less than a second to know its genesis. The cave. Twenty minutes for her surrender. He knew better than to hope for it again. Or even to try. This time there would be no tempting or deal-making. Only truth.

‘I would like to explain,’ he said hoarsely. ‘To tell you something. Then I will leave and I swear I will never bother you again.’

Sweat, cold and clammy, smothered his back as he waited for her answer, his eyes narrowing on the flutter of her hand as she massaged her temple, as if he were a headache she wished to rub away.

‘Okay,’ she said, standing back to allow him in. ‘Twenty minutes.’

Before relief stole the purpose from his stride, Dante closed the door behind him with a soft click and followed her through to the lounge, ordering his eyes to stay above her sculpted waist before visions of lacy white panties cupping her gorgeous behind enraptured his mind, stole his sanity.

Cosy. Homely. The lounge was delicately lit by a floor lamp casting shadowy patterns over her eclectic tastes. A tall scented Christmas fir stood before the window, bare. Open boxes of colourful glittering baubles, blown-glass love-hearts and golden cherubs, littered the floor, full. The Edwardian hearth blazed a roaring fire, the crackle and spit of wood enhancing the aroma of fresh pine, warming his bones.

‘I have disturbed your decorating. I am sorry it is late to call, Eva, but I have been to see Yakatani—’

‘Of course you have,’ she said ruefully, curling up on the sofa in her usual snuggled fashion, the sight making his chest clench and this time he knew the reason why. He wanted her to snuggle into
him.
Find comfort in
him.

Her small sigh quivered in the air. ‘I didn’t mean that to sound off. I’m happy for you, Dante, really I am.’

‘I did not sign for Hamptons, Eva.’

Long hazel lashes blinked up at him, her full lips parted, working around words. ‘Why not?’

This was it. The culmination of two weeks, tearing himself apart wondering how the hell he’d managed to make such a mess of everything.

Dante eyed the sofa cushion beside her, decided it was pushing his don’t-touch limits to the extreme. The chair was too far away because she needed to see his eyes. So...

He sat on the coffee table in front of her, a clean two feet between them, braced his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands to stop from reaching, touching, hauling her to him and locked on to her huge wary eyes.

‘Because you were right,’ he said, his throat so thick he could hear the low rasp of his voice. ‘My father denied my very existence until my mother died and he was forced to take me in. To say his legitimate family were coloured with hate is an understatement,
cara
. Remember when we spoke of you and your father burying pain?’

Brow nipped tight, eyes brimming with empathy, she gave him a jerky nod.

‘I buried mine in Vitale. For the last fifteen years I worked night and day to prove that I was worthy of being one of them. That I was not tainted by my mother’s bad blood. Hamptons was the jewel in my crown.’ He stopped. Took a huge gulping breath. ‘But, when it came down to it, I would rather make
you
proud of me. I would rather prove my worth to
you
. For you, my beautiful, loyal, selfless Eva, are more worthy of the effort and sentiment than my father will ever be. I wanted to prove to you that you would always come before Vitale. And I will not have you feeling discomfort from telling untruths for my sake.’

Her chest hitched as if she’d been holding her breath, her words no more than a whisper. ‘You...you told him?’

‘The truth about us,
Sì
.’

Sucking her full lips in as if to stifle a sob, she shook her head. ‘I can’t believe you did that for me.’

Feet flat to the floor, he had to stiffen his muscles to stop himself reaching, taking her, never letting go. But he needed to say this. Because the pain of holding it in was killing him and he’d been lying to himself, and her, all along.

No more fear.

‘I would do anything for you, Eva.’

Her heavy breasts rose and fell, but she never left his gaze. Eyes that were the key to his soul... One turn in the lock and all the tension drained from his body, the words, the truth, rushing out of him.

‘I would give everything I own for one more day with you. I would sell my soul to keep you well. If you got sick I would trade my life for yours.’

One glistening tear trickled down her smooth cheek but nothing was stopping him now—

‘What I cannot do is make you love me. And that, my beautiful angel, was the true reason I had those contracts drawn. I tried to tell myself it was because I did not trust you. But in truth I was afraid and I was trying to keep you by my side. Tied to me without the bonds of love. Hoping the inevitable would not happen.’

She dashed away her tears with the back of her hand. ‘What are you...? What inevitable?’

He felt a weary smile tilt his mouth. ‘Anyone who looked at one of your dresses, Eva, would know you wanted the fairy tale. You were fighting it. Because of your father. The risk to your health. Deep down, I knew it would come.’

Eyes fluttering closed, she nodded slowly.

‘I tried, Eva. I tried to give you that fairy tale, without even realising what I was doing. Because I desired it too. From the start I was trying to make you mine. Tempting you with what I
could
give you. An engagement ring from my heart. Making love to you with everything I am. All the while thinking: she’s mine. Mine. She is finally mine. And tomorrow I will tell her she must marry me. But then...
Cristo
, Eva, as soon as I touch you I lose my mind and I realise this sounds ludicrous but in my heart you were already my wife. Is that not odd,
cara
?’

Crushing her ruby-red lips, she shook her head wildly as if she understood.

‘But neither of those things excuse the dishonour of not protecting you. I felt nothing but shame. Knew then I did not deserve to ask for your hand regardless. So yes, I pounced on the hope you were pregnant. Not for an heir, Eva. I pounced at the chance to have you.’

‘I...I can’t believe this is truly happening,’ she said, breathless, pointed her unsteady hand at his chest. ‘Did you just say “from the start”?’

‘
Sì
,’ he admitted. ‘Looking back to Edward’s vault,
Cristo
, I was consumed with the need to slip my ring upon your finger. Every word I said to you that day was truth. Every touch, every flower, every kiss, all from my heart.’

Another tear trickled down her face as she began to fidget in her seat. Moved to cross her legs into a yoga pose, as if she were trying to close the gap between them.

‘Tell me something,’ she said in a rush, her eyes darting over his face. ‘When was the first time you saw me?’

In a second he was back in the cave. He’d known she wanted to ask him but he’d been too scared to lay his heart on the line. ‘The night before we were introduced in the gardens, Finn and I arrived late from a club. I couldn’t sleep. So I went down to the kitchen for water and there you were. Tousled. All lush hair and sexy long legs, wearing those skimpy shorts and vest tops you prefer. Looking for something to satisfy your sweet tooth,
cara
.’

‘You watched me?’ she asked with a pleasurable kind of wonder and he knew it was wrong, knew it was pointless, but his heart kicked with a hopeful beat.

‘Oh, I watched you, Eva,’ he murmured, voice thick and raspy. ‘Do you want to know what I thought?’

‘Yes,’ she said quickly. ‘Tell me.’

‘I thought...’ His voice cracked. So he swallowed. Tried again. ‘She is an angel. I know I am not worthy of her and I know she could never love me, but I would move heaven and earth to make her mine.’

‘You did?’ she whispered, a beautiful watery smile touching her lips.

‘I did. But that night in the pool-house, you were grieving, it was wrong to touch you. And then you asked me for only one night. One night would never have been enough for me, Eva. One million nights would never be enough.’

Her delicate hand fluttered to cover her heart and he watched her eyes fill with fresh tears and sorrow, her head bow. So much sadness and despair—neither good things, he knew—and that tentative bud of hope withered and died inside his chest.

Dante slid forward on the hard wood, closer to the edge, closer to her. ‘I am leaving but I need you to know this, Eva. The true reason I am telling you all of this.’

Snap
went his control and he picked up her warm hand, wrapped it in one of his, squeezing tight. Then he tucked his forefinger under her chin, lifting her head to lock with her eyes for the last time.

Cupping her jaw, he smoothed over her cheek with the pad of his thumb. One last time. ‘I know you can never return my heart but if you
ever
need me, I am here for you. Only one phone call away. I swear you would always come first. I vow I would take care of you on the darkest of days and never let you fall. Promise me you will remember that.’

‘Oh, Dante.’

‘Swear it to me, Eva!’

‘I...I promise,’ she said, tears now falling in earnest. Tears he caught, wiped away with his thumb. Tears that broke his heart.

‘
Cara
, do not cry,
per favore
. I cannot bear it. I will leave.’ He had her oath. It would have to be enough.

Dante stood, still bent at the waist, and leaned forward to touch her brow with his lips. Every agonised bone in his body screamed and a strange sensation stung the backs of his eyes as he spoke against her soft skin, ‘I will always love you, Eva.’

Then he pulled back, to stand, to turn, to walk away...

* * *

‘No!’ Eva reached up, cupped his gorgeous, if a little bewildered, face, sank her fingers into his thick yummy hair and tugged his mouth down to hers. ‘Don’t leave me again. I need you.’

Then she kissed him, kissed him, kissed him until he
finally
kissed her back.

True, it wasn’t the most passionate kiss they’d ever shared—it was messy, dewy from her tears and there were too many emotions cluttering it up, but it was stupendously wonderful. Especially when Dante snapped out of his stupor, gripped her waist and lifted her from the sofa as he stood tall, crushing her to him, lashing the strength of his steely arms around her. Making her feel precious. His most prized possession.
Oh
, how she’d missed him. Craved him night and day.

Desperate hands touched everywhere they could reach, wild sounds of need filled the air around them and it was love. So much love. Yet the man had no idea of the love swelling her heart. Only for him.

Dante tore his mouth free. ‘Eva...
cara mia
?’ he said, just as breathless as her, his wide chest heaving. ‘What
exactly
does this mean?’

‘Oh, Dante.’ Brushing a thick lock of hair from his brow, she sank into his deep, dark, tortured gaze. ‘It means I love you. I always have. It was love, obsession and lust at first glance. Within ten minutes, I’d designed my wedding gown and picked out stationery and china.’

Face contorting, he shook his head, adamant. ‘No. You have not always...loved me. You asked me for one night, Eva. One night.’

‘Because I thought that was all you would give me. And I wanted my first time to be with you. Only you.’ She remembered then, his exact words. Now imprinted on her brain.
One million nights would never be enough
. He loved her. He truly loved her. She was still having trouble believing this wasn’t some pheromone-induced hallucination and from the look of it she wasn’t the only one.

‘
Cristo
,’ he said, rocking back on his heels. And, before she knew it, he plunged down to the coffee table.

‘I can’t believe you didn’t see it.’

‘I had no idea,’ he said, lifting his head. ‘I thought, for you, it was just sexual attraction, passion. I didn’t think love was possible for me.’

Eva blinked. ‘Says the man with a jar of tattered hearts.’