A Scarlet Bride (36 page)

She leaned toward her father, wanting to make sure he heard her every word."I'm saying it's none of your affair if I choose not to return to Connor. You've interfered in my life for the last time." Alexandra took a deep breath. "While you have never shown you cared for me, you still have arranged and manipulated my life to your advantage. I will not accept your intrusion again."

"It was my duty. You should be grateful," her father replied in a huff.

"Duty?"
Alexandra asked in disbelief.

"You're a woman, Alexandra.
A disgraced one at that.
I needed to see you married right away, and to someone who was willing to take you with your scandal. Connor was a fine choice. He's kept our line from disappearing completely, and hopefully, you'll have a son who will inherit my bank."

Alexandra felt the hair stand on the back of her neck. Because she was a woman she was less than worthy in his eyes, and no matter what she did, she would always remain a tainted woman.

"It doesn't matter if this baby is a boy or girl because I will make sure you have no influence over my child," she said.

Her father's face turned a brilliant pink as he blustered, "Your son will one day inherit my bank. I have every right to see that he is raised properly."

She bristled at the insinuation that she could not raise her baby suitably.

"No." Alexandra's word hung suspended in the air. She had never told him no before. "This is my child. I will raise him until he is old enough to choose what he wants. Then, if he decides to go into banking, I'll let you know."

Her father threw up his hands, exasperated. "It will be much too late then. You may keep him until he's seven or eight. Then I will put him in the right schools, let him see the inner workings of the market, give him the very best. Besides, I paid Connor to get you with child. This boy will be mine."

His words cut her deep. So it was true. Connor had agreed to receive payment for their child, to fulfill her father's dream of a dynasty.

"Then you paid him for nothing. I will breathe my last breath before I let Connor or anyone else
give
you my child."

"You ungrateful wretch!
You received the best money had to offer as a child."

"Yes, I did. The best clothes and education, but never the love I needed. My child will not lack for clothes, education, or love. And I will always have faith in my son or daughter, which is more than I can say for you."

"You were convicted of adultery."

Alexandra took a deep breath. "I never cheated on Gordon Thurston. I was framed.
Hester's Revenge
is a record of everything that happened. You might read it someday, if you're interested in the truth."

She stood and started toward the door, finished with her father. She didn't wait to see his reaction. She really didn't care. With head held high, her back straight, Alexandra left the room.

***

Several days later, Betsy, the maid, came to Alexandra's bedroom door. "Mr. Manning is here to see you."

Alexandra's heart fluttered for a brief moment before a hot surge of anger scorched her anew.

So he'd come back. What did he want this time? He had some new scheme, no doubt. But more importantly, had she decided what she was going to do about her marriage? What she was going to say to her husband?

No, her mind was still clouded with memories from the day of Uncle Sydney's funeral, of her father telling Connor he'd write out the bank draft, followed by Connor's bumbling explanation. How callous could Connor be to agree to get her with child for money? Did he think so little of women in general that he would make such an arrangement without taking into consideration the feelings of the woman, much less his child?

And now he was here.
For what?

Reluctantly, she told Betsy, "Tell him I will receive him in the parlor. No one is to disturb us."

Her father and Aunt Clara should be in Charleston meeting with Uncle Sydney's solicitor, but just in case they had yet to depart, she wanted it clear that she and Connor were to speak without anyone interfering.

"Yes, ma'am," the girl replied.

After Betsy left the room, Alexandra quickly checked her hair and pinched her pale cheeks before she hurried downstairs. She wanted to look her best. For some odd reason she didn't want to look as miserable as she felt. But more important, she wanted him to want her and realize he would never have her again.

When she walked into the room, he was pacing the floor in front of the fireplace, the click of his boots steady against the wood floor.

He glanced up, his gaze meeting hers, locking for just an instant as he paused.

Alexandra wanted to curse. She wanted to cry. She wanted to pull every damn hair from his head, very slowly, inflict pain on him to match the ache inside her chest.

Why had he treated her life so casually, first betting with William,
then
marrying her to get her with child? Pain rippled through her like wind blowing over sand.

She took a deep breath and reminded herself that it would get easier to see him over time.

"I wasn't sure you'd come down," he admitted, his voice steady and sure.

She shrugged and moved to the love seat. As she sat, she spread her skirt so he couldn't sit next to her without crushing the fabric.

Standing at the fireplace, he let his gaze roam over her, and she gifted him with a stare that would have put icicles on a sun god. Quickly, he looked away.

"I wondered what you had to say," she said quietly. "How you would try to explain yourself out of this one."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, ignoring her barb.

"I'm fine," she replied, her voice distant and cool.

Connor sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Look, I never meant to hurt you. I admit I was only thinking about myself when I accepted your father's proposal."

He took a deep breath. "Hell, I had some idea that our marriage would be almost nonexistent. I didn't know you. I didn't know I'd enjoy being with you or that I'd be excited about the baby. I guess I didn't think it through."

She clenched her fists. "Now I understand your zealousness about getting into my bed," she said. "If I hadn't conceived, your plan would have failed."

''That was not the only reason I was eager to have you. From the moment I first saw you, I wanted you."

His words knifed through her heart. Why was he lying about their marriage? Knowing he'd only wanted her sexually hurt even more.

"You never wanted
me
. You just wanted me in your bed. You've done everything possible to bed me since the day we met. I was just another easy conquest as far as you were concerned."

He began to pace again, his hands behind his back. "It wasn't like that. You make me sound so calculated and cold. I wanted you because I was drawn to you." He paused and glanced at her. "Yes, in the beginning I pursued you for the wrong reasons, but not anymore. I want to be with you."

She clenched her fists. He just didn't understand. He was still talking about desire and sex, not about love. Desire was a fleeting emotion that, once satisfied, drifted off into the night. Sex—well, he was known for his adventures, and probably was ready to go out and find another willing woman. But love and marriage were a lifetime commitment. She was not about to settle for anything less. Not this time.

She stared at him. "When you made the bet with William, you weren't trying to bed me? You weren't trying to get me with child when you took me to bed that first time?"

"Try to be reasonable about this, Alexandra. I never meant you any harm," he said with faint impatience.

She jumped to her feet. "Reasonable! How in the world can you ask me to be reasonable when you've done nothing but bring me pain and disgrace? You made a deal with my father to exchange our child for money!"

"Exchange?
I only agreed to get you with child. I was desperate and many marriages are based on less desire than I have for you."

"What were you desperate for?"

He was silent, his eyes beseeched her.

"Since the day we met, you've pursued me. Until the night of the
Sloanes
' ball when you followed me out on the porch—" Alexandra halted in midsentence as sudden realization crashed into her. She gasped.

"You bastard!" she cried. "You compromised me that night so I would have to marry you. Didn't you?"

A guilty grimace encompassed his face, answering her question.

A red haze seemed to engulf Alexandra, and for a moment, she thought she was going to faint. Without thinking, she picked up one of her aunt's knickknacks off a pedestal and hurled the porcelain figurine at Connor.

"I didn't have—" He ducked automatically, his mouth dropping open as the cherub figurine flew past him, hitting the wall. The ceramic angel shattered and fell to the floor.

"Why did you do that?" he barked, incredulous.

"It felt good.
You lowlife river rat.
If you remember, I didn't want to marry you," she spat, her hands shaking. "And now I know why. You wanted an easy conquest and my father's money."

''True, I needed the money, but you needed a husband.''

His eyes grew round with disbelief as the matching figurine went flying through the air and smacked the fireplace, just missing his head.

"I didn't
need
anyone." She raised her hand to throw again. "You're not a husband. My father purchased you for stud service, just like one of your horses. You've performed your duty. Now get out!"

A book hit the wall beside him, causing him to flinch. His voice raised another octave. "Quit throwing things, damn it, and let me explain."

"I don't want to hear your explanations. Get out! Any man who would sell his baby, I don't want for a husband."

"What are you talking about? Sell?"

"The arrangement with my father, you nitwit."

He frowned in confusion. "I didn't sell our child."

Alexandra laughed, her voice sounding slightly hysterical to her own ears. "Oh, yes, you did. My father has granted us permission to keep our child until he is seven. After that, he expects to take over his teaching. After all, he paid to have the child sired."

"I never agreed to that!"

"Liar!"
She moved toward him, anger spurring her on.

He looked at her, perplexed, as he backed toward the door. "You're upset. I'll come back when you're feeling better and we can straighten all this out."

"I feel just fine. In fact, I feel better than I have in years." A crystal dove went flying through the air and thumped him on the shoulder.

"Ouch, damn it!" he said as he opened the door.

She called after
him,"Stay
longer and maybe I'll knock some sense into your head!"

Connor slammed the door closed behind him.

Alexandra stood, looking at the closed portal, shaking a vase of flowers clenched in her hand.

"Damn you!" she cried as she hurled the vase at the closed wooden portal. With a smack, the glass shattered against the door, along with her heart.

The surge of anger that had gotten her through the last few moments died as quickly as it sprang up. She looked around the room, now littered with glass.

"Oh, God," she moaned, and sank to the love seat, her chest near bursting with pain.

The man was a louse. He had used her for his own selfish pleasure and she hated him!

But she loved him. Was the man who had charmed his way into her life only a dream that, in the light of day, became a nightmare?

Tears that had been damned up inside her chest suddenly gushed forth, spilling from her eyes onto her cheeks. He hadn't even said he was sorry.

She curled up into a little ball on the love seat and cried, sobbing for herself and her unborn child, wishing Connor cared more for her than he did for her father's riches.

***

The ride back to River Bend seemed endless. Though his horse moved quickly down the road, Connor's mind was moving at turtle speed.

Stud service.
Damn, but those words hurt. And yet, they seemed so true. He didn't enjoy the feeling one bit. He didn't relish her believing him to be in cahoots with her father.

Connor didn't like what had happened, what he had become.

And Alexandra was angrier than he had ever realized.

There had been no mention of reconciliation or when she might be coming home. In fact, he couldn't help but believe his trip to see his wife had done more damage than repair.

The sight of his home filled him with loneliness. He wanted his wife here with him. He'd missed her these last few days. He'd missed her laughter, her smiles,
her
quiet organization of his household. He'd even missed their verbal sparring.

Silence filled the house now. Even the servants were whispering about this turn of affairs. Dinners were lonely without her. Nights were even worse.