A SEAL's Heart
Copyright © 2013 Nikki Winter
Editor: Katriena Knights
Cover Art: Marteeka Karland
ISBN:
978-1-304-24729-2
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews. This is a work of fiction. All references to real places, people, or events are coincidental, and if not coincidental, are used fictitiously. All trademarks, service marks, registered trademarks, and registered service marks are the property of their respective owners and are used herein for identification purposes only. eBooks are NOT transferable. Re-selling, sharing or giving eBooks is a copyright infringement.
Dedication
She Held him in the palm of her hand…
And didn’t even know it. Fitzgerald Carrigan had been in love with his best friend, Zuly Hines, from the moment she pronounced his name with a screwed up expression and nothing but pure judgment in her eyes at the age of seven. That love simply managed to compound as time went on, growing stronger every day. When he leaves home to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a Navy SEAL he believes he’ll be able to come back just as healthy and optimistic as he was upon his departure. He never thought he’d be completely wrong. Damaged both physically and mentally while harboring a painful memory, he shuts himself off from the world believing that his family and Zuly, would be so much better off without having to contend with his pain. What he doesn’t stop to consider is that Zuly has never been one to let a person wallow. No, she’s more likely to slap you back into reality…
He was everything to her…
And was clearly too blind to see it. The majority of Zuly’s life was filled with fantasies of belonging to Fitzgerald Carrigan forever. She didn’t bat a lash the day he left to become a SEAL, confident in the fact that her love, her everything, would return and their lives together would start. Fifteen years later and she’s grasped that not every childhood fantasy goes the way you want it to. Her SEAL has closed himself off from the world, completely immersed in his role as a recluse. What he doesn’t seem to consider is that Zuly loves him enough to force him to face the real world again. Even if it means their relationship takes a turn for the worse…
Contents
“Ma, you have to stop crying. I’m just going to basic training.” It didn’t matter how many times Fitzgerald Carrigan pointed that out, his mother only seemed to cry harder.
“My
leanbh...
” Miriam squeezed him about the waist, her face buried just under his chest as he hugged her back. Fitz turned pleading eyes to his father as his brothers stood on the sidelines, laughing.
“Dad...”
Dolan swallowed an obvious smile and stepped up to take his wife by the shoulders, officially dislodging her from their youngest son. “Sweetheart, he’s going to be fine.”
“We don’t know that! We won’t even be able to talk to him!” Miriam cried.
“Just during boot camp, Ma. I’ll be back before you know it.” When his parents had found out he’d enlisted in the Navy with the aspiration to become a SEAL, there had been a mixture of trepidation and pride in his family. Seemed one was weighing more heavily today.
Her lips trembled, green eyes wide and watery as she stared at him. “That’s way over a year from now!”
“I’ll be able to write you. And I will. I promise.” Fitz shifted from one foot to the other. Growing up as the youngest boy had been a blessing and a curse. The curse was visiting at the moment.
She worried her bottom lip. “Swear it.”
He nodded. “I swear.”
Dolan grinned. “It’ll shoot by, love. You won’t even notice he’s gone.”
Miriam took in a trembling breath. “I will. Because there’ll be more food left over every night.”
Fitz’s lips twitched. “If anything I’ll be back just for the cooking.”
She scooted away so his oldest brother Cael could pull her into a hug. He and Fitz nodded at each other. He’d said his goodbyes to Cael, Riley and Sullivan already. They’d got him good and blasted off his ass just a day and a half ago. He appreciated it more than they’d ever know.
His dad patted him on the cheek. “You’ll be fine. I know it.” Dolan cast his stare over Fitz’s shoulder. “There’s someone else here to send you off,” he said softly.
Shoulders tensing, Fitz cast a glance behind him and felt the breath leave his lungs. He hadn’t known if she’d make it in time since she was living on campus downstate now. But there she stood. As beautiful as ever. His best friend. His confidant. His everything. His Zuly. She didn’t know it as of yet, but she was going to be his wife. He’d come back in his formal dress and get down on one knee, telling her everything he’d wanted her to know from the moment he’d saved her from a spider in the second grade.
Fitz would tell her his fascination with the knock-kneed girl he’d used to know had cultivated into something far deeper than love. He’d tell her how he could remember her slight lisp and how wild her hair had been. How he loved the way she’d said his name with a funky look on her face when he’d first introduced himself, bird chest puffed out. He’d explain that he searched her face out in group photos just to glimpse her smile and how when she laughed he could see heaven’s gates. He’d let her in on the secret that he’d tried to count how many lashes she had shielding her startling golden eyes the last time she’d fallen asleep at his place while watching a marathon of
Xena.
He’d tell her all of this. And then he’d make her his own forever. Because she could never and
would
never belong to anyone but himself. He loved her with a part of him that only the good Lord above could touch. The thought of not hearing her voice, seeing her face for so long hurt him physically but this was what he had to do--what he was meant to do.
Fitz could recall how she’d time his swims out at the lake. How she’d goad him into pushing himself harder. How she convinced him he was meant to be a hero. He could recall her look of fear then confidence the day he announced his enlistment. Now here they were. He wondered if she regretted supporting him, wondered if she had any idea how much he adored the very ground the soles of her feet touched. God, he was in love. But there was nothing he could give her now. There would be plenty he could give her later. He’d prove to her, to his family, to her family, to everyone, that he was not only going to serve and protect his country but that he was going to serve and protect Zuly Hines too.
“You gonna come say good-bye to me, Z? Or are you gonna just stand there?” Fitz finally asked, breaking the spell of their staring match.
The look she gave him made his lungs seize.
She shook her head. “No.”
His brows rose. “No, what?”
“I’m not saying good-bye to you.” Walking ever so slowly, she stopped in front of him. “Good-bye means I won’t see you again. Good-bye means this is the last time I get to say something about how huge your ears look with your hair being so short.” Fitz cracked a smile. “Good-bye means that there’ll be no more
Xena
marathons.” Her mouth twisted and to his horror moisture filled her eyes.
“Z–”
She shook her head again. “Nope.” Her voice had dropped to a whisper. “I’m not saying good-bye.” Then she was hugging him, arms locked tight around his body in an embrace that said everything she hadn’t.