A Secret to Keep (27 page)

“Then, I’ll have to generate enough for the both of us.” Liyah pulled Sloane closer to her as her best friend lay her head on her shoulder and continued to cry.

###

“So, how are you feeling about today?” Liyah and Chase sat at the barstools finishing up the breakfast Avery cooked earlier. They were gathered at Sloane’s house before court and the decision that was going to change her entire life. It was just what Sloane needed and she was so thankful her aunt made the trip from Charlotte to be with her. She was going to need all of the support she could get when the judge made the decision.

“I’m nervous. I’m not sure how it’s going to go, you know?”

“Sweetheart, it’s going to be fine; you’ll see.” Avery reached over to squeeze Sloane’s hand.

“Yeah, Sloane, it’ll be fine. And we’re all here to help you celebrate when the judge grants you custody of Brayden.”

“Thanks, Liyah. I really appreciate it. I’m very blessed to have family and friends like you.” Her nervous energy was getting the best of her and she started clearing the dishes and cleaning up.

“Sweetie, why don’t you spend time with Brayden and I’ll clean up.”

“Auntie, no. I need to do something to keep my mind off things.”

“Well, the least we can do is help.” Liyah chirped as she took the dishes from Sloane’s hands, winked and walked to the sink.

“If you insist.” She watched Chase, Liyah and her aunt form a line to wash, rinse, dry and put away the dishes.

Just then the phone rang and Liyah added, “You can answer the phone.”

“Oh, thanks so much.” Sloane stuck her tongue out at Liyah’s amused face as she walked over and grabbed the phone. “Hello.”

“Sloane it’s me, Kim.”

“Kim, is everything okay? We were just getting ready to leave.” Looking over at Sloane, Liyah’s laugh faded and she nudged Chase when she noticed Sloane’s facial expression change. The three of them moved to Sloane’s side as they waited to hear what the attorney was telling her. With each passing minute it was beginning to be unbearable and Liyah mouthed to Sloane ‘what is she saying.’

“Are you sure?” Sloane motioned to Liyah to hold on. She couldn’t believe her ears and it was like she was in a daze listening to Kim on the other end of the phone.

“What is it?” Chase prodded to get her to tell them.

“Okay. Thank you.” Pressing end on the phone, she stared at three eager faces staring back at her.

“Sloane, what’s going on?” Avery placed her arm around Sloane. “Baby, what is it?”

“It’s over.” She still couldn’t believe all of the things Kim said.

“What do you mean it’s over?” Avery urged, waiting for Sloane’s reply.

“Gates dropped the case. I get Brayden. Gates is willing to share custody as long as he gets to see him whenever he wants to and on holidays and birthdays.” Tears of utter joy rolled down her cheeks and she was hardly able to breathe.

“Oh honey, that is wonderful news.” Avery pulled Sloane into a hug as Liyah and Chase wrapped their arms around the two of them in a group hug.

Backing out of the huddle, Sloane walked over and picked up Brayden from his bouncer. She hugged him to her as she kissed the top of his head. “I can’t believe this.”

“Wait a minute, so he gave up? What made him change his mind?” Chase glanced at Liyah before turning back to Sloane.

“I don’t know. Kim said he dropped the case and I didn’t need to show for the hearing today. Gates already signed his part of the agreement. When I sign my part, everything is final.”

Once they calmed down from crying and hugging, they decided to celebrate. Chase left to pick up Hannah and buy all the things they needed for a barbecue as Avery started on side dishes with Liyah. Sloane strolled out to the deck with Brayden wrapped tightly in her arms. She was elated her little boy was not going anywhere and she was going to be able to watch him grow up. “I guess I owe your daddy a huge thank you, don’t I? Maybe Liyah was right.”

She contemplated what Gates must be going through and she felt somewhat guilty. She wondered what made him change his mind and why he would give up after he had been so intent on getting Brayden. No matter what happened between them, she still wanted him to be a part of Brayden’s life; and she couldn’t help the feelings she still harbored for him. Before all of this began, she and Gates had started to reconnect and it felt wonderful to have him in her life again. He filled a void no man could ever fill and she missed him more than she wanted to admit. Brayden must have sensed her nostalgia because he reached up to place his chubby hand on her cheek and she giggled at his silly grin. “Well, I guess there is no reason for me to cry now, huh? You and I are in this for the long haul.”

###

Sloane sat quietly in the swing on her back patio. Once all of the commotion of their impromptu celebration ceased, she was glad to have a moment of peace. She was ecstatic that she was going to be able to keep her son, but the nagging guilt of keeping Brayden from Gates was weighing on her mind.  She’d made a huge mistake in keeping him from his son and she knew it. She would still have the opportunity to watch Brayden grow, while Gates hadn’t so much as held his own child. She wondered exactly why he’d dropped the case. He’d been so angry at her and she couldn’t blame him, but why just give up?

“Penny for your thoughts,” Avery’s voice startled her from her contemplation and she looked up to see her aunt take a seat beside her. “You look like you are trying to figure out where Jimmy Hoffa is buried,” Avery chuckled.

“It would probably be easier than what I’m really thinking about,” Sloane offered.

“And what might that be, pray tell?”

“Gates.”

“Hmmm, I see.”

Sloane tilted her head to give Avery a side-eyed glance. “I know. Go ahead and tell me you told me so.”

“Um, no. I’m not going to do that.”

“Why? You were right. I should have told him when I found out I was pregnant. I shouldn’t have kept this secret so long.”

“Sounds to me like you are beating yourself up enough for the both of us,” Avery smirked and patted Sloane’s leg. “Sweetie, I have only wanted the best for you since you came to live with me.” She paused deep in thought and sighed. “When your mom and dad died, I promised myself that I would try my best to raise you the way they would have. My sister was such a free spirit and she would have let you make your own decisions. She never judged and she was an encourager. That’s who she was and I wanted to be the same for you. Even during those times when I knew the decisions you were making may not turn out the way you wanted them to.”

“Yeah, well, I really messed this one up.”

“Sloane, I will admit, I was disappointed when you made the decision not to tell Gates about Brayden. He deserved to know his son. Every man deserves the chance to raise his child, especially if he’s really serious about being a father.  So when you didn’t even give Gates a chance, it was hard to sit back and watch you keep such a huge secret. But, it was your life and I had to let you live it. No matter what any of us do, we each have to deal with the choices we make.” They both sat quietly for a few minutes listening to the crickets chirping before Avery spoke up again. “Now that the secret is out, I think the most important thing for you to focus on is how to make all of this right.”

“But how do I do that? I can’t just rewind time. I can’t bring back all of Brayden’s ‘firsts’ to give to Gates. I did something that is irreversible.”

“It may be irreversible, but it’s not impossible to overcome. Both you and Gates have a responsibility in this situation. Brayden. He’s yours and Gates’ responsibility. And honestly, Gates has made a step. I think it’s time you took one too.” Avery reached over and hugged Sloane before she stood and stretched. “Now, I’m going to go and check on the little monster and then I’m headed to bed.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

###

“Hello?” Gates croaked. He had reached out to his nightstand and grabbed his cell phone, not bothering to look at the caller ID. He had a splitting headache and called his office earlier to let Linda know he wouldn’t be in during the morning and may not make it in at all that day. Since then, his phone rang nonstop, which didn’t help his headache. Evan called twice, Linda called back and Angelica called. Evan called wanting to make sure he was okay. Linda called to let him know his trip to Seattle had to be postponed since the person he was meeting with was sick and was not going to be in for the rest of the week. He wasn’t quite sure why Angelica called. He was still upset with her and hadn’t bothered to listen to the voicemail.

“Gates?” Hearing the familiar southern lilt through the receiver, he shrugged the pillow from his head and pulled himself up in the bed, glancing at the clock on the nightstand to see what time it was.

“Sloane?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry to bother you. I tried calling you at your office. Uh, your assistant said you weren’t in so I figured I’d get your voicemail.”

“Oh, no, it’s no problem. I’m kinda working from home today.” He rubbed his eyes, trying to focus. He wasn’t quite sure why Sloane was calling. He’d wanted to reach out to her on numerous occasions since he dropped the custody suit, but every time he got ready to call, he stopped. He just wasn’t sure what to say.

“Well, I don’t mean to disturb you. I know you’re busy. I wanted to call and thank you…for dropping the case. That couldn’t have been easy for you.” The thick emotion in her voice made him realize even more how much it would have hurt her to take their son away and his chest tightened.

“It was in Brayden’s best interests.” Snapping his mouth shut, Gates felt like kicking himself.
Could you sound any colder, idiot?

“Oh, well…thank you.

“You don’t have to thank me. I want what’s best for him…like you do.” He hoped she could tell he was sincere. He did want what was best for his son, even if it meant he didn’t get to see him often. In his heart, Gates knew Brayden was better off with Sloane.

“That means a lot to me. More than you know.” The silence was almost unbearable and Gates felt he should say something, but wasn’t sure what. Luckily, she spoke up first. “I know you’re busy, but Brayden’s birthday is coming up and I wanted to ask you if you would be able to come to his party.”

“Really? I’d like that.” He wanted to kick himself for sounding so distant, but he was a little taken aback that she was inviting him to see Brayden so soon. He knew he had the right to see the little boy, especially now that the custody battle was settled. However, the awkwardness between them was excruciating. They’d never had a hard time talking to each other before. Now that they had a son together, they should have been able to talk with ease, but it wasn’t the case.

“Great. I’ll send you the details.”

“I’ll make sure Linda clears my calendar.”

“Oh, okay. I guess I’ll, well, I guess I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sloane? Uh, how is he?” It was almost like he didn’t know if he had the right to ask about his own son, but he wanted to know more about the little boy. From the first day he saw him and Sloane told him Brayden was his, Gates felt an overwhelming pride in knowing he’d been a part of something so amazing. It was almost like he felt complete and the final puzzle piece of his fractured life had finally been put into place.

“He’s amazing. He’s pulling up on things and he’s just about to walk. He can say a few words like ball, dog, and no. The others come out as some type of baby slang he expects you to understand.” He listened intently to her candid description of how demanding the little boy could be if you didn’t understand exactly what he was referring to when he wanted something.

Gates laughed into the phone. “I’m sure I have no clue where he gets that,” he joked, thinking of how demanding he could be at times and knew that must be one of the not so wonderful traits he’d passed on to his son.

“I’m sure.”

He could feel the ice break between them as they laughed and she went on about Brayden and his newest habits. They ended up talking for almost an hour about Brayden and the things he was learning and doing and some of his favorite things.

“I’m looking forward to getting to know him. I know his birthday is coming up, but I’d like to see him before that if that’s okay with you? Since I haven’t gotten a chance to know him and-”

“Of course. That would be wonderful.” He could hear her voice crack and it eased his fears knowing she was okay with him being in his child’s life. He wanted to see his son, but there was still a part of him that wanted to see her too.

“Ah, actually I have some time this weekend if that works for you. One of my meetings was cancelled and I can be there on Friday.”

“That’d be great. I guess I’ll see you Friday then.”

“I’ll see you then.” Hanging up the phone, Gates realized his headache had faded and he was feeling a lot better than he had earlier.

###

Friday couldn’t have come quick enough for Gates as he strolled to the front door of Sloane’s house. He still couldn’t get over the fact he had a son and that any of this was happening. He was strangely excited and tremendously nervous. He’d gone over in his head how he thought things may go, but he worried he wouldn’t know what to say or how to act around Sloane, or what he needed to do as a father with Brayden.
I’m someone’s dad.
The thought was enough to blow his mind. It was crazy to think Gates McCall was a father and it was interesting when he woke up and looked at himself in the mirror. It was like he was looking at himself for the first time and realizing who he was. Evan tried to tell him to relax and be himself, but he wasn’t sure it was that simple.