A Shelter of Hope (43 page)

“I know you’re right,” Simone replied, smiling sadly. “But it also means leaving you.”

“We won’t be that far away. You’ll come to visit me, and I’ll come to visit you. You’ll see. Now, go to sleep, and in the morning it will all be more clear. God will give you a peace about it if you seek to know peace. Some folks prefer the turmoil because it’s the most familiar element in their life. They get so used to wallowing in it that they start to seek it out. Don’t be like them, Simone. You’ve known a lot of strife and heartache. Don’t reject peace and happiness just because it’s different.”

“I won’t,” Simone promised, wondering if she was truly already on the road to such actions.

Long after Una had fallen asleep, Simone lay awake trying to decide what she would do. Rachel very much wanted her back in Topeka. Jeffery wanted her to be his wife. “And what do you want of me, Lord?” she prayed softly. “What shall I do that would be pleasing to you?” After years of telling herself that God’s desires were unimportant to her, Simone felt a deep longing to know the truth of His choice for her in this matter. It was the last conscious thought she had before falling into a deep, consuming sleep.

THIRTY-FIVE

TWO WEEKS LATER, Simone wandered into the Topeka Harvey dining room feeling very much like she’d been away for years. She smiled, sniffing the air to catch Henri’s famous Chicken a la Marengo with its pungent garlic and red wine calling-card aromas. She had missed her good friend and their quiet talks in French. She had also missed his cooking. She nearly laughed aloud as Rachel entered from the kitchen, three totally engrossed trainees on her heel. The animated discussion reminded Simone of her early days with the Harvey House.

“There is never to be a linen tablecloth put on a single table without thoroughly inspecting it for signs of wear and tear,” Rachel told the girls. “Mr. Harvey would strip the table bare should he find a single blemish, and believe me, he has done just that on more than one occasion. We have no desire to be that careless again.” The three uniformed girls nodded seriously.

“Mr. Harvey has also been known to send chipped china plates flying across the room to prove his point that they are not of a high enough standard to grace the tables of Fred Harvey’s establishments,” Simone added very softly.

Rachel turned and met her words with an enthusiastic smile. “Simone!” She left the stunned girls and rushed to embrace Simone. “Why didn’t you let me know you were coming?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Well, it certainly is that. I mean, after you didn’t reply to my first two telegrams, I presumed you’d given up thoughts of returning to Topeka,” Rachel said, squeezing Simone’s arm. “I can’t believe you’re here. Are you going to stay? Where are your bags?”

Simone laughed. “Still the same old Miss Taylor, I see.” She nodded to the quizzical girls. “She’s a tough taskmaster, but she’s fair-minded and a good friend in times of need.”

Rachel laughed. “Don’t go getting them all soft on me. I’ve just managed to put some fear into them.”

The girls grinned timidly at this, and Rachel shooed them off. “Go into the kitchen and help Bethel.” The girls scurried off, leaving Rachel and Simone alone in the dining room. “When did you get in? I didn’t see you on the morning train.”

“No, I wasn’t here. I came in last night, but I went to the hotel up the street. In all my life I’d never stayed at a fancy hotel, and I thought I deserved at least one night on my own.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Rachel questioned, leading Simone past the tables and down the hall to her office.

“No,” Simone admitted. “I was lonely.” She laughed. “It’s so funny. I used to enjoy being alone. It was all that I longed for, but now I find that the company I’ve kept these past months is something of an addiction. I crave the voices and the camaraderie. As hard as it is to admit it, I need people.”

Rachel nodded. “I completely understand. I feel the same way. I suppose it might be different if I ever met the right man and settled down. Perhaps a family of my own would be enough to keep me entertained.” She opened the door to her office and led the way into the room. “Come sit with me and tell me everything that’s happened while you were away. I mean, I heard it from Jeffery, but I want to know the rest from you.”

Simone sighed, brushed off her blue serge skirt, and sat down on the soft red upholstery of a wing-backed chair. “Is this new?” she asked, running her hand along the arm.

“Yes. Jeffery thought my office needed a bit of a feminine touch. I didn’t argue. He hasn’t been himself at all. I know that you’re all he’s thinking of.”

At the second reference to Jeffery, Simone bowed her head. She knew she loved him, and she fully intended to talk to Rachel about it, but she didn’t quite know how to broach the subject. Perhaps she should just jump in with both feet and declare her feelings. After all, Rachel would be sympathetic and understand, and perhaps she could even suggest what Simone should do.

“I’d like to believe that it was missing me that brought you back to Topeka, but I think I know better,” Rachel’s voice called through her thoughts.

Simone raised her face to meet Rachel’s sympathetic expression. “Is it that obvious?”

Rachel laughed. “It always has been.”

Simone shook her head. “I just don’t know what to do about my feelings, Rachel. I have no one but you and Una to talk them over with. Una thinks me mad for not throwing myself into Jeffery’s arms to happily become his wife, but I don’t know what to do. I mean, Jeffery has always been good to me. He’s been protective and remarkably patient, but is that enough to plan a life on? What do you think?”

Rachel eased back in her chair. “It doesn’t really matter what I think. You have to live with your choices. Are you ready to say that you want to spend the rest of your life with Jeffery O’Donnell?”

“I can’t imagine my life without him,” Simone admitted. “But, Rachel, I’m only seventeen. I know a great many women marry younger than seventeen—my own mother married at fifteen. But I know, too, that I’m not ready.” Simone got to her feet and paced a few steps, covering the width of the tiny office. “There’s so much that I have to deal with. Betrayal and pain that is only now starting to fade. When I think of all that I’ve been through and all that I have yet to deal with, I fear that I would be much too preoccupied with myself to be any good to anyone else. Then, too, I love my job. I like being independent and I like making new friends.”

“Would that all have to end if you agreed to become Jeffery’s wife?”

“I don’t know. I suppose it’s something that would need to be addressed with Jeffery. But honestly, Rachel, there are already so many other things I need to consider that keeping Jeffery’s marriage proposal out of the center of things seems the only intelligent resolution.”

“Have you prayed about these things?” Rachel asked gently.

“Absolutely,” Simone replied emphatically. “I pray and pray and I know that God hears me, but it isn’t like it’s all fixed the minute I say ‘Amen.”’

“Of course not. God doesn’t always work like that. There are times when you’ll find things dealt with that easily, but it isn’t always so. In fact, it’s usually not done that way at all. Most of life seems to be a process of peaks and valleys, and the path isn’t always well defined. But I wouldn’t want you to alienate Jeffery just because your life has been difficult. You should just be honest with him. Tell him that you love him and tell him that you need time. I’m willing to bet he’ll understand.”

“Una said the same thing. I suppose I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

Simone came back to the chair and sat down on the edge. “Afraid that he’ll tell me good-bye. Afraid that he’s not willing to wait and that I’ll have to swallow my own fears and concerns and marry him right away or risk losing him forever.”

“Simone, you should never, ever feel that you must hurry into any lifelong decision. God wants you to take the time to pray and consider His will. If it’s right for you to marry Jeffery, God will help you to put the past in order and feel comfortable with planning out a future. Trust Him.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She paused, then shook her head again. “No, I know you’re right.” With new determination, Simone got to her feet. “I know I can trust God! I won’t give in to my fears. I’ve allowed fear to run my life in the past, and it’s time to put it to an end!”

“Good girl. Now, why don’t you go down the hall to the house manager’s office and tell Jeffery.”

“He’s here?” Simone said, sinking back into the chair. Gone was all sign of her bravado. Her voice sounded weak and uncertain. “He’s really here?”

“He’s here, all right. He stormed off to Chicago when you didn’t show up the day after he arrived here in Topeka. I really think he figured you’d follow him.”

“I wanted to,” Simone admitted. “But I just couldn’t.”

“I understand, but now that you’ve had some time, I think you should talk to him. He’s getting ready to go south again. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the new Harvey House resort that’s being planned for New Mexico, but it’s going to be the largest and finest establishment Mr. Harvey has yet to put into place. Jeffery has been trying to put together the necessary staff.”

“I see.” Simone felt a tightening in her chest.

“I don’t think you should let him go off to New Mexico Territory without at least talking to him about your feelings.”

Simone nodded. She felt desperate to see Jeffery. After watching him walk away nearly two weeks earlier, she knew she had to see him—had to explain. Getting up very slowly, she moved toward the door and smiled weakly over her shoulder at Rachel and said, “I suppose I’ll go see him.”

“Tell him the truth, Simone. Lay your cards out on the table, so to speak.” Rachel, too, got to her feet. “And when you’re done …”

Simone stopped and turned. “Yes?”

“Get your things out of that hotel and get back here to help me 292 with the lunch crowd.”

Simone grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

Jeffery shrugged out of his jacket and tried once again to focus on the ledgers in front of him. He wanted to lose himself in his work, but every time he tried he thought only of how his work separated him from pursuing Simone in Florence. Perhaps a change of jobs was in order. After all, hadn’t he thought of working for the Santa Fe Railroad in a capacity that would completely remove him from the Harvey House? He liked the idea of purchasing, and the railroad was always in need of innovative and intelligent people when it came to keeping the line running at a profitable cost. But the papers in front of him reminded Jeffery that he still had a job to do for Fred Harvey.

Pounding his fists on the desk, he nearly jumped when a knock sounded at the door. “Yes, what is it?” he shouted back.

The door opened slowly to admit the one person he’d never dared to even hope would be standing on the other side. “Simone.” He breathed her name in a quiet hush and got to his feet.

“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you,” she apologized.

He regretted yelling. She looked so timid and unsure of herself. Her eyes seemed huge as they searched his face. “You know better,” he said, letting out a heavy sigh. He tried to protect himself by feigning nonchalance, but all the time he longed to rush to her side and take her in his arms. “What do you want?”