A Simple Autumn: A Seasons of Lancaster Novel (36 page)

But Emma could not go against her own promise. In her heart, she would always know
of the sin she had committed, and that offense would fester like a wound.

“I wish I could share this with you, but I can’t … I can’t break my vow to the church
just to have some fun with you. Someday, when you’re baptized, you’ll understand how
important this is.”

He scowled. “Maybe not. Maybe I won’t get baptized, and I’ll just keep on doing what
I want, like Zed Miller.”

“You don’t mean that.” She could tell that he was angry now; he was saying things
out of bitterness.

“I can’t really say. Who knows what will happen down the road?” He turned the helmet
in his hands. “I guess the only person who can find out is the one who rides down
that road. Like me.”

“Don’t do this, Gabe.” Her voice was quiet now, quiet and cold as the shadows that
had fallen over the small yard. She always tried so hard to be understanding. Why
couldn’t he see her side of this? That parents and ministers trusted her with the
education of their children—a good Amish education. Her actions were under scrutiny.
Her values were everything to her.

“I’m just a guy trying to take my girl for a ride on a fall afternoon,” he said.

Emma bit her lips together, fighting back tears. How could he hurt her so?

Gathering her things, she allowed herself one last look at him. Oh, why did she care
so much about him when he pulled stunts like this? She marched into the house and
let the screen door slam behind her. It was an angry, heavy sound … a sound that signaled
the end to a conversation, a beautiful day, a bittersweet love.

I
got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Where?” Annie sang the quick song,
clapping along with the other young people at the table. She didn’t remember the last
time she’d felt such bright joy at a singing, but then the very fact that she was
here was one of the biggest surprises of all. Just a few weeks ago, she had thought
she would be long gone from Halfway by now, the end of October. But here she was … and
there was a smile on her face, as if the happy glow inside her was shining through.

And all because of Jonah King.

She turned her head to take a look at him down the table. He was singing along, but
he did not clap or make silly faces like some of the other young people. That stoic,
almost stern expression on his face … she liked that about him. There was no giddiness
about Jonah King, but she had come to rely on his rock-solid patience and thoughtfulness
in times of stress.

Ya, Jonah was the main reason she had wanted to stay. And she had never expected the
odd twist of circumstances that had kept her here
in Halfway long past the time she thought she would be moving away to New York.

Soon after Dat had returned, he and Mamm had asked her if she would consider staying
in Halfway awhile to help out at the farm. “Just until I get through the operation
and back on my feet,” Dat had said. “I know you’ve got good reason to go, but we need
you now, Annie girl.”

Her answer had been yes, yes, and yes again. She told them she would stay as long
as they wanted. She wouldn’t think of going away when her family needed her. But secretly,
she was thinking of staying on for good, and she had hinted at that in her letter
to Sarah.

Please don’t count on me coming anytime soon
, she had written.
So much has changed here, not only on account of Dat’s sickness, but some good things
have sprung up like seedlings in the garden. There’s a fella here that I’ve been getting
to know—I won’t say who, because it’s all so very new—but it’s given me a spark of
hope that things might work out just fine here in Halfway
.

That spark of hope was now a flame dancing in her heart, fueled by the good conversations
and silly jokes she had shared with Jonah as they worked side by side on the farm.
Morning, noon, and night, she found herself drumming up excuses to spend time with
him out in the barn. She scheduled chores so that she would cross his path and have
a chance to talk with him. She didn’t need to use the courtship tricks she had tried
to teach her sister Hannah because things flowed naturally between Jonah and her.
Conversation was easy, his jokes made her laugh, and his dark eyes seemed to have
the ability to see her fears. Jonah had a knack for easing her worries about Dat’s
health, about her sick horse, or about how hard it was to make tasty dishes that followed
Dat’s new low-cholesterol diet.

But despite the easy conversation between them, Annie had not had the nerve to turn
the topic around to ask about his feelings for her. He had admitted to favoring her
for years, but then she had
pushed him away. She could kick herself for that … but it was water under the bridge.
Right now she needed to know just where she stood with him. A simple question … an
easy question if she could just summon the nerve to ask Jonah.

As they took a break from singing, Annie skimmed the room to locate Jonah. Maybe if
they took a walk together outside, just maybe the bright glow of the moon would lend
her the courage to ask her question.

She moved past her sister Hannah, who was already talking with her beau, Ben King.
Elizabeth Mast blocked Annie’s view for a moment. When the girl finally shifted, the
sight of Jonah in the corner made her heart sink.

He was talking with Emma Lapp—Teacher Emma. Stunned, she stared at them a moment,
then forced herself to look away. She had heard that Jonah gave Emma a ride home from
a singing recently, but she hadn’t thought much of it.

Now she tried to ignore the achy pain at the sight of the two of them together. Emma
was a nice girl, but she didn’t know Jonah the way Annie did. It wasn’t possible for
Emma to love him the way Annie did.

“What are you staring at with such a sad face?” Mary asked as she followed Annie’s
gaze across the barn.

When Annie tried to answer, the knot of emotion in her throat kept words from forming.

“Are you feeling okay?” Mary linked arms with her and cast a curious glance down at
Annie. “Your face is pale and you look like someone just stole the last piece of pie
right out from under your nose.”

Annie snorted. “You know me too well.”

“What’s going on, Annie?”

Should she tell Mary—her very best friend who also happened to be Jonah’s sister?
“Will you promise not to tell anyone?”

Mary tilted her head. “You know I try not to gossip, and I certainly wouldn’t do that
to you.”

Annie steeled herself, wanting to be honest with her friend. “The truth is, things
have changed for me here. You know Mamm and Dat asked me to stay to help out with
his recuperation. Well, I’m hoping to stay for good because there’s a fella who’s
caught my eye.”

A smile lit Mary’s eyes. “Praise be to Gott! I’m so happy for you!”

“But he doesn’t know yet. And right now, I’m watching him across the room, talking
with someone else.” Annie shifted so that she wouldn’t be staring at Jonah and Emma.
“I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I’ve waited too long to tell him how I feel.”

“I think Jonah will still be happy to hear the news.”

Mary’s words eased Annie’s heart; it was as if someone had lifted a heavy load from
her shoulders.

She still had a chance with Jonah.…

Annie grabbed her friend’s hands. “Do you think so? That would be the most wonderful
good thing! I can’t tell you how much I … But wait.” She looked around to make sure
no one was listening. “How did you know I was talking about Jonah?”

“Well, I saw you looking at him with so much love in your eyes. And to be honest,
Jonah confided in me long ago that he favored you. More than that, really. I think
he had a crush on you when we were kids and he never got over that. I promised him
I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I kept my promise. But now … well, the truth is out. He
told you himself, so I don’t think I’m breaking my word.”

“He did tell me, and I turned him away,” Annie admitted, still annoyed at her own
blind foolishness. “You know that, don’t you?”

Mary nodded. “I’ve heard bits and pieces along the way.”

“But you think I still have a chance?” Annie glanced back at Jonah and Emma. Their
faces were solemn, their heads lowered close together. “What about Emma?”

Mary snorted. “I’ll tell you this: He doesn’t spend every day at
Emma’s house. Just talk to him. Tell him the truth. You know what the Bible says.
The truth shall set you free.”

Hope surged through Annie as she gathered her dear friend’s hands and squeezed them.
“Denki, Mary. You’ve given me the courage I need to talk to him.”

Mary smiled. “Really? I can’t imagine you in need of prodding to talk.”

“I know. Hard to believe, isn’t it?” As Annie gave her best friend a hug, she realized
that love changed some things. Being in love had softened her impulsiveness. She wasn’t
so quick to let comments fly from her mouth unchecked.

Folks were starting to head out of the barn for the bonfire in a nearby field. Five
came over to accompany Mary, and as Annie chatted with the two of them she kept checking
on Jonah, who was still talking with the schoolteacher. How wonderful it would be
to sit beside him at the big bonfire, chatting and sharing little jokes while more
singing went on. And if she grew cold, maybe he would offer her his jacket, or put
an arm around her shoulders to keep her warm.…

As Jonah and Emma walked out of the barn together, Annie realized that her plan wasn’t
very realistic—at least not for today. Jonah was going to maintain a respectful distance,
as long as he thought that was what she wanted.

Outside, as everyone gathered around the big fire, Annie found a place beside some
other single girls and let her gaze wander the circle of faces lit by firelight. Mary
and Five were together, as were Remy and Adam. Hannah’s face glowed with happiness
as Ben King leaned close to whisper something into her ear.

And where were Jonah and Emma?

She flinched, noticing that Emma was standing nearby, in the same group of girls without
beaus. And across the fire, Jonah and his brother Gabe joined a group of young men.

As Annie let her gaze rest on Jonah’s face, flickering with firelight, she wished
she could talk to him right now.

Someday, Gott willing, we’ll be sitting beside each other, watching the dancing flames
together
.

Later that night, after Annie finished unhitching Dapple from the family carriage,
she patted the horse vigorously before she brought him into the stables. Excitement
bubbled inside her, and though she could barely wait until morning to talk with Jonah,
a part of her savored this special time. Like a bird about to take flight, hope pulsed
inside her, excited and strong and eager to soar.

The night was growing cold, with temperatures dipping into the forties, and as she
wandered through the barn, Sunny followed her restlessly.

“What’s the matter, girl?” She bent down to stroke the dog behind her ears, but she
was too excited to stay still for long. “What are you trying to tell me?”

Since they weren’t a dairy farm, they only had a handful of milk cows. When she went
to check on them, she found that one was missing—Buttercup, the pregnant Dexter.

“That’s it,” she said as she went to the barn door, Sunny sticking to her side.

“Buttercup, where are you?” she asked aloud, looking out over the dark fields. She
frowned as Sunny barked a call into the darkness. Their Dexter was ready to deliver
any day now. Although Dat had repaired the calving shed, Annie knew that there was
a good chance that once again, the cow had chosen another spot on the farm to fresh.

Returning to the horse stables, she saddled up Dapple, working quickly. The horse
responded, prancing excitedly when she first got
out of the stables. For safety’s sake she kept Dapple on the path between the fields,
but she let the horse trot freely as they searched for the errant cow. She prayed
that she would find Buttercup safe and sound; it wouldn’t help Dat’s condition for
him to be getting bad news now.

A pale half-moon cast a silvery glow over the cold landscape, lighting the path and
the bulk of reddish cow perched on the ground up ahead.

“Buttercup,” Annie said aloud as her horse closed the distance between them. She climbed
down from the horse and walked alongside the cow that lay in a sprawling heap on the
ground.

The Dexter cow was breathing heavily. Her eyes were wild, and as Annie watched she
moaned and pushed her legs up in the air.

Buttercup was giving birth. From what Annie could see, she figured the cow was still
in the first stage of labor. They had some time.

“You poor dear. We need to get you help.” Although Annie had lived on a farm all her
life, she’d never been in charge when any of the animals gave birth. There was no
way she could disturb Dat, and Mamm didn’t have any more experience with this than
Annie did. Daniel would be willing to help, but he had been raised a harness-maker.