A Sin and a Shame (21 page)

“Looks like I’m interrupting a celebration,” a bald man said as he pushed open the room’s door.

“Doctor, this is my fiancée, Jasmine Larson,” Hosea said. He turned to Jasmine. “I like the sound of that,” he whispered.

She shook the doctor’s hand and then followed Reverend Bush from the room when the doctor asked them to step outside.

Jasmine floated into the waiting room, but she hit the ground when Reverend Bush asked, “Was this your plan?”

She didn’t know how to tell him that yes, he was right—she’d had a plan. But it hadn’t been about that for a long time.

“I love your son.”

“That’s hard to believe.”

“We’ve been together for months.”

He chuckled. “And that means what?”

“That I’ve fallen in love with him.”

His face squeezed into a sneer. “With him or his money? Or is it his potential?”

“With all of that!” His jaw tightened with her words. “Because all of that,” she continued, “makes Hosea who he is. But the best part of him, the part that swept me away, is his heart. I don’t expect you to understand, but I want to be a better me because of Hosea.”

She thought she’d won him with her words, but when he clapped, her heart ached.

“Great performance, Sister Jasmine.”

His insult swelled the hurt in her heart. “What do you want from me?” she whispered.

“I want to know what you’re up to.”

“Nothing more than to marry Hosea.”

“Seems like that’s going to happen.”

“Because of love, not a plan.”

His face was still tight with disbelief.

She said, “You know what, I don’t have to convince you. I want you to be happy for us, but really, Reverend Bush, this is between me and Hosea.”

“You’re right about that. Hosea’s grown, so I won’t even begin to tell him what to do. But I can tell you.” He moved forward, closing the gap between them. “I told you before, I’d be watching. And now my eyes will stay on you.” He glared. “I’m not playing with you and you’d better not be playing with my son.”

“I’m not.”

He peered at her as if he could see something. “I don’t trust you, Jasmine. There’s something…” He stopped.

She stood still, straight, as if she had confidence. But silently, she prayed that Reverend Bush wouldn’t see in her the secret that could take Hosea away.

He said, “The stakes are higher now. If you are who you say you are, fine. I wish you and my son a wonderful life. But if there is anything…” He left his threat right there.

Her head pulsed with a pain she’d never felt before.

But then, his lips spread into a smile. “Will you please tell my son that I’ll be back in a few hours?”

She didn’t agree or disagree. She simply watched him put on his jacket and then march down the hall as if it were his sanctuary.

Her head was still pounding when the doctor told her she could return to Hosea.

“Come on over here, darlin’,” Hosea said the moment she entered. Then he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just worried.”

“I told you, no need. The doctors said I was going to be all right, although God told me that earlier, and that’s all I needed to know. In a few days, I’ll be outta here.” He squeezed her hands.

“Thank God you’re going to be fine.”

“Yup, with a little medication, a lot of love from you, and all of God’s mercy and goodness.” He pulled her close and held her longer than he ever had before.

She loved the feel of him and knew this was where she was supposed to be.

This wasn’t about lust. This was love.

This wasn’t about a plan. This was her purpose.

And she was going to do everything to prove to Reverend Bush that Hosea had chosen the right woman.

H
ey, darlin’.”

Jasmine beamed. It had been a week since Hosea had been admitted and other than the fact that he was still in the hospital, there was no other way to tell that he’d been sick.

“I hope you brought me something good,” he said, tossing the magazine he’d been reading aside. “I can’t take these hospital cooks no mo’.”

Jasmine laughed, as she’d done every day when he complained about the food. “Hosea, I can’t sneak anything in here,” she said like she always did. “It’s against the rules.”

“What they’re feeding me should be against the rules. In fact, it should be against the law. I need to call somebody and have these people arrested.”

Jasmine shook her head as Hosea continued his rampage. He rambled, but Jasmine disregarded his words. She straightened the pillows behind him, smoothed the sheet that covered him, pushed the tray (with the empty plate of the lunch he’d just eaten) aside. She filled his tumbler with water and then held out the glass to him. “Are you drinking enough?”

“Did you hear a word I said about the food?”

“Did you hear what I said about your water?”

He shook his head as he took the glass. “Already pushing me around.”

She sat on the edge of the bed. “And you love it, don’t you?”

He put the glass down. “I know that I love you.” He lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “My hunger hasn’t blinded me to that.”

Jasmine laughed with him.

“Seriously, though,” Hosea began, his chuckles gone. “I want to talk about us.”

Jasmine wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear this. For the last week, she’d lived in two worlds. In one, she was euphoric, basking in the reality that she would soon be Hosea Bush’s wife. But then in the other place, she was nervously waiting for her joy to be snatched away, knowing for sure that somehow her secret would be revealed.

“Darlin’, are you listening to me?”

She nodded.

“I don’t know how you feel about this, but I don’t believe in long engagements. Once God tells you to do something, you just need to do it.” He paused. “So…” From under his sheet, he took out a black velvet box. Jasmine was frozen for a long moment. “Darlin’, aren’t you going to say something?”

“How did you get a ring?”

“Well, that’s not the first thing I expected you to say, but I’ve had it for a few weeks. Open the box.”

Her hands trembled as she reached for her hope. “This is beautiful,” she whispered as she stared at the glimmering marquise.

Hosea twisted the ring from the box and then held it at the tip of her ring finger. “Jasmine Larson,” he whispered. “Will you do me the honor of becoming Jasmine Bush?”

“Everytime you ask me, my answer will be the same.” She grinned. “Yes. Yes.” She tried to hold her hand steady as he slipped the platinum band on her finger. She closed her mind, wanting to center herself in this moment.

Her glance traveled from her ring to her man and emotions flooded her. Feelings she’d never experienced before, couldn’t explain now. Before she could think, she closed the gap between them, her lips finding his. She expected him to back away, but when he didn’t, she pressed against him. Then parted her lips. Found his tongue. And did a slow dance.

Their first kiss. It wasn’t what she expected. It was better.

She didn’t know how long they stayed connected, but when she finally pulled away, she was glad he smiled.

“I don’t believe in long engagements,” he said. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Jasmine glanced at her
ring one more time before she pushed against the hospital room door.

“Son, you can’t do this.” Reverend Bush’s words made Jasmine pause. She’d only stepped out to go to the bathroom. When had his father invaded their space?

“Pops, what’s the problem? Why are you hatin’ on me and Jasmine?”

That was her cue—to rush in and save herself from whatever the reverend was about to say. But shock sealed her in place.

“This is not about Jasmine. This is about you making this decision now, under duress. You’re in the hospital, for God’s sake. No one gets engaged in a hospital.”

Hosea laughed. “No one? Come on, Pops.”

“Okay, but still, you haven’t known Jasmine long enough.”

“I know you’re not coming at me with that. I’ve known Jasmine since January—almost double the time that you knew mom before you were married. How many times have you told me that when God tells you to find a wife, He won’t make you wait long?”

Jasmine heard the reverend sigh.

“Pops,” Hosea continued. “Jasmine is the woman God has chosen for me.”

“Let’s say that’s true. Why do you
have
to get married now? What’s the rush?”

Hosea paused before he responded, “Pops, I’m trying not to get upset here.”

“Then don’t. Let’s discuss this man to man.”

“Jasmine is not pregnant, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“So, what is this? An emotional decision?”

“Pops, no disrespect, but what kind of nonsense is this? Yes, this is an emotional decision because love is all about emotions.”

“I just don’t understand. I don’t see any exceptional qualities in that woman.”

Jasmine held her hands to her face. Felt her ring. Closed her eyes.

“Pops, I cannot believe what you’re saying. This is about me and Jasmine. Not you. But let me tell you what I see in my fiancée.” He paused. “She’s not like anyone I’ve ever met or dated. Besides the obvious that she’s intelligent, fun to be with, and successful in her own right, all of that pales to what she’s done for me.” His voice became softer. “Pops, it’s been a while since you’ve dated, but today, when you tell a woman how you’re trying to live for God, most don’t understand. They think you’re playing some game because they don’t think a man can be celibate. Or if they believe you, they constantly try to change your mind. And then there are some who just walk away. But not Jasmine.”

Her pounding heart forced her eyes open.

“I told Jasmine how I was trying to live and though it was hard for her and we had some talks about it, she honored what I wanted to do. She didn’t agree, but she honored me. That’s what makes me love her, Pops. If she were willing to honor me, like I’ve honored her while we were just friends, I know she’ll honor me as my wife.” Through his father’s sigh, Hosea continued, “I want your blessing. And I want you to marry us. But honestly, Pops, if you can’t do that, it’s fine with me. Jasmine and I will be married anyway.”

Jasmine held her breath through the silence that followed Hosea’s words. When she heard the reverend’s footsteps moving toward the door, she rushed around the corner.

This should have felt like a victory, but instead, she felt defeated, beaten down by her fiancé’s words. Hosea loved her because she’d honored him. He’d asked her to be his wife based on that lie.

What would happen if he ever found out? She shook her head, not wanting to think about that. There was nothing she could do about the past, but the future, she controlled. And every day she had left in her life, she would make sure that his words were true—she would honor Hosea Bush as his wife.

S
o you guys are
still doing it in June? What’s the rush?” Serena yelled for what seemed like the fiftieth time.

Jasmine jumped into her jeans, slipped into her top, without lifting the telephone from between her shoulder and ear. “I told you, it’s better this way.”

“This has to be about sex. You just can’t wait to get that man into bed, can you?”

Serena didn’t know how true her words were. After their kiss last week, being in bed with Hosea was all Jasmine could think about. But this time, it wasn’t about a plan. It was only that she was in love and now she wanted to make love.

“Jasmine!”

Her sister’s scream powered through her thoughts. “Would you stop yelling?” Jasmine said. “I told you, this is what Hosea wants.”

“So this is not about sex?”

“This is not about sex,” Jasmine said. And she meant it. “I love Hosea, Serena.”

Her sister waited a moment before she said, “I can hear that, Jasmine. And I’m thrilled. But June seventh is four weeks away. I hope I can be there.”

“I really want you here, but if you can’t, I’ll understand.”

Serena chuckled. “What has this man done to you? He has my sister all calm and everything.”

Jasmine smiled as she dumped the contents from her purse into a backpack. She knew she’d been changed.

“So, how are you going to have that fabulous wedding you wanted?”

“I don’t care about that anymore. If I had my way, we would’ve been married right in that hospital.”

Serena laughed. “This is still so unreal to me. My sister is marrying Hosea Bush.”

“Get used to it. I’m going to be a minister’s wife.” They laughed. “But not if I don’t get to the hospital and pick up my minister right now.”

“Tell him I said hello. And tell him to stay careful. Those blood clots are no joke.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t plan on anything happening to Hosea Bush.”

They said their good-byes and then Jasmine dashed downstairs to a waiting cab. As the car sped toward the hospital, Jasmine let the past months drift through her mind. This had happened much faster than she’d expected. It made her pause once again and wonder about all that Hosea had said, that they were together because of God. Was this really God’s plan? Was it because His plan was so much better than hers that she would be married months before she imagined? She’d once heard a pastor say that what God had for you was so much better than what you wanted for yourself.

She smiled. She was living proof of that.

Jasmine moaned as soon
as she saw the limousine.

This was not the way she wanted to end this day. Only adrenaline kept her awake now. It had been nonstop from the moment she picked up Hosea and then helped him to get settled at his home. Then she’d spent almost an hour in this cab as it crawled from Long Island back to the city. All she wanted was to plunge into her bed and not open her eyes until noon tomorrow. A confrontation with Mae Frances was not on this Saturday night’s agenda.

She paid the driver and then slipped from the car, hoping that somehow she could avoid her neighbor. But as she rushed to her building, she heard the footsteps behind her.

“Good evening, Ms. Larson,” Henrikas greeted her.

Even though for the last weeks she’d been much more pleasant to the doorman, she didn’t pause to speak. Her focus was the elevator. Her hope was that Mae Frances would have the good sense to stop and chat with Henrikas so that their paths wouldn’t cross. But when she stepped into the elevator, she discovered that her neighbor had no sense at all.

As if she were alone, Jasmine pressed 8 and kept her eyes on the doors.

The elevator rose to the second floor before Mae Frances said, “Jasmine Larson, do not tell me that you’re not going to say a word.”

With her stare still on the doors, Jasmine responded, “Based on the last time, I didn’t think you wanted to speak to me.”

Mae Frances sucked her teeth. “Child, don’t be so sensitive. You just made me mad, that’s all. It was my anger talking.”

Jasmine said nothing.

“Look,” Mae Frances continued, “I know you’re not…exactly like those other Christians. I know you have a bit of a heart.”

Jasmine faced her neighbor. “I was just trying to be your friend.”

“I know that.”

“You make it very hard.”

“I know that too.” When they stepped off the elevator, Mae Frances followed Jasmine to her door. “Let’s make a deal,” Mae Frances continued. “Don’t talk to me about God and that church thing, and I’ll try to never insult you again.”

Jasmine couldn’t help it, she laughed. “You’ll try?”

Mae Frances nodded, serious with her promise. “Do we have a deal?”

Jasmine’s lips spread into a smile. How could she not accept this truce? She’d just become engaged, her fiancé was home and healthy. Surely, there was enough happiness to share, even with Mae Frances.

Jasmine shook Mae Frances’s hand. “Deal.”

“I like you, Jasmine Larson.” Without another word, Mae Frances disappeared into her apartment.

Jasmine shook her head. There was no way she would keep that deal. She was about to become a minister’s wife. Mae Frances hadn’t even begun to hear all that she had to say about God.

Jasmine grappled for the
telephone in the dark.

“Hello?” she said with her eyes still closed.

“Darlin’, did I wake you?”

Jasmine shot up in her bed. “Hosea, are you all right?”

“I’m better than all right. I’m just calling with some good news about our wedding.”

Jasmine clicked on the light and smiled. As they’d rode home from the hospital, Hosea had convinced her that even though their wedding was merely four weeks away, he was still going to make sure she had the day she’d dreamed of.

“The only thing that’s going to be missing is the time and stress that comes when people try to go through this for an entire year,” he said. “It’s not necessary, and I’m going to show you.”

“Hosea, all I want is to be married to you. We can go to City Hall for all I care.”

“Oh, no,” he’d laughed. “We’re not going to have some banged-up wedding and then on our fiftieth anniversary, you tell our children that I did that to you. Oh, no.”

She’d laughed with him then, and she did now as she thought about his words.

“I contacted Sebastian,” he said, pulling her back to the present. “He’s going to design your dress.”

Jasmine jumped from the bed. “You’re kidding, right? Oh my gosh, tell me you’re not kidding!”

Hosea laughed. “Which is it? Am I kidding or not?”

Jasmine giggled. Sebastian was a rising designer who had studied for years with Vera Wang and now had his own showroom in Los Angeles. His designs dominated the red carpet at last year’s Academy Awards and word was he had already been commissioned to design Oprah’s gown for the upcoming Phenomenal Women Ball. “I had no idea you knew Sebastian.”

“Yeah, we go back a ways. Here’s the thing. He’s agreed to do your dress, but he needs you in Los Angeles.”

Los Angeles,
she screamed inside. Brian’s image danced through her mind and she closed her eyes, squeezing him away.

Hosea continued, “I’ll get your ticket for sometime tomorrow and then I’ll have you back here Monday night, Tuesday the latest.”

“No,” Jasmine said, all joy gone. She would have rather walked down the aisle naked than take a trip to (or a chance in) L.A. “If he can’t come here or if we can’t do this by phone, I’ll just buy a dress.”

“But darlin’, this is Sebastian. You can get away for a day, can’t you? Do you want me to call Malik?”

Tears came to her eyes. This wasn’t about work. “I don’t want to leave you,” she whispered.

He hesitated. “Okay, darlin’. Go back to sleep. I’ll figure it out.”

“I love you, Hosea,” she said, then hung up. As she pulled the blanket to her chin, she wiped her face dry of tears. But fresh ones came, stealing all the joy that should have come with this news. She couldn’t even plan this wonderful time of her life without Brian stalking her.

Jasmine reached for the light, but pulled her hand back. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep in the dark.