A Sin and a Shame (32 page)

“Pops hides it, but I know it’s been hard since Mom passed. But now, that look in his eyes.” Hosea stopped and pulled her closer. “The Bush men are happy and it’s all because of you.”

Jasmine snuggled deeper into her husband’s embrace and fondled the key on her neck. “Amen and amen,” she whispered to herself.

J
asmine wore nothing but a T-shirt.

It was the same T-shirt—her husband’s—that she wore last night as she and Hosea had snuggled on the couch and sipped sparkling cider, munched Oreo cookies, and watched
New Year’s Rockin’ Eve
without Dick Clark counting down to 2005.

By twelve-ten, they were in bed and it was the best New Year’s she could remember.

Even this morning, as they lay holding each other and doing nothing more than staring at the ceiling, Jasmine did not want to get out of bed.

“Darlin’, what time are we supposed to be at Rio?”

“Noon,” she moaned. “I wish I’d never agreed to go.”

Although the club had been open until four that morning with partiers bringing in the New Year, Rio was opening again at noon for what Malik called a New Year’s fête. The club’s standard Mexican fare was being traded for African American New Year’s Day staples: gumbo, black-eyed peas, red beans and rice, country ham, fried chicken, and cornbread. The only thing missing were the chitterlings that Jasmine had refused to allow within a mile of the club.

“If we’re supposed to be there at noon then get up now.” Hosea nudged his wife. “You first.”

“Why?”

“Because you take much longer than I do.”

“Well,” she began, “we could shower together.”

“And we’ll never get out of here. Now, go.”

With a sigh, she rolled from the bed. She really wanted today alone with her husband. It was more than just a newly-wed thing. Jasmine wanted to savor these moments of togetherness, knowing that in a few weeks, the times when they could say “just the two of us” would be forever gone.

Her legs were heavy as she shifted toward the bathroom. A month ago, with Hosea watching her, she would have added a bit of sway to her step. But now all she could do—four weeks before she was due to become a mother—was place one foot in front of the other.

Still, with the appreciation that only a man in love could give, Hosea whistled.

Two hours later, they were standing in the middle of Rio, only fifteen minutes after noon.

“Hey,” Malik greeted them over the blasting music. Today, Usher and Alicia Keys replaced the regular beats of Shakira and Cabas.

Malik kissed her cheek and then shook Hosea’s hand. “I wasn’t sure if you’d make it.”

“If I’d known I had a choice, my husband and I would be at home, in bed, right now.”

“Oh.” Malik held up his hand. “Too much information, Godsister,” he joked. “But, don’t stretch yourself. I know you get tired quickly these days, so head out whenever you want.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to let her overdo it,” Hosea said.

They zigzagged through the maze of rented-for-the-day tables that covered the dance floor. Invited guests were sprinkled through the space, but Jasmine knew the club would be filled once the late-morning risers started arriving. They settled at a table away from the center of the festivities.

“In the back, in the corner, in the dark,” Jasmine said. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had a few illicit thoughts, Mr. Bush.”

He chuckled. “I always have illicit thoughts when I look at you, darlin’.”

“I doubt that,” she said, easing her swollen middle between the chair and the table. She’d done the best she could with her weight but still, she’d gained twenty-three pounds, normal for a thirty-six-week pregnancy. But it was enough to raise eyebrows whenever Hosea proudly announced that their baby was due in March.

“Wow, are you having twins?” was what she heard constantly.

Blessedly, Hosea still had no suspicions. Blinding love and Dr. Edmonds made sure of that.

“Darlin’, do you want something to drink?”

She nodded. “Orange juice.” Jasmine pulled her compact from her purse as Hosea walked away. And, she freshened her lip gloss.

“Hey, darlin’.”

She smiled. Looked up. He snatched her smile away.

“Brian,” she sputtered his name.

“You’re looking good.” He sat down before she could stop him.

“What—what are you doing here?” she asked, trying to catch her breath and a glimpse of Hosea at the same time.

“I came to see you.”

“I’m…” she paused, trying to remember what she needed to say, “here with my husband.”

“I heard you got married.” He poked out one of his lover’s lips. “Gotta tell you, Jasmine, my feelings were hurt again. I don’t know how you keep losing my address. Another party, and I didn’t get an invitation.”

“Brian, please, I can’t—” She edged closer to the table to conceal her added weight.

He leaned across the table, taking away what little comfort she had left. “I know you can’t right now, but we can still work this out.” He grinned. “It’s actually better when both cheaters are married.”

She wanted to tell him “Never again.” But her brain had stopped telling her lips what to do. Her mind was only sending signals to her lungs commanding her to breath.

“So, whaddaya say? When can we get together again?”

“Hey,” Hosea said, placing a glass on the table. “Here’s your juice, darlin’.” Then, he turned to Brian. “We’ve met, haven’t we?”

Brian stood. Shook Hosea’s hand. “Yes, at the restaurant. I was with my wife and—”

“Yeah, I remember,” Hosea said as he sat and motioned for Brian to do the same. “Brian, right? So, what brings you to New York?”

“Your wife.” He paused just long enough for Jasmine to believe these were the last moments of her life. Then Brian chuckled. “I always like to come to New York to support Malik and Jasmine.” His eyes roved through the club. “They’ve done a fantastic job with Rio.”

Hosea peered at him. “You came all the way to New York for this?” he asked, his voice stiff.

“That and other things.” Brian grinned. Looked at Jasmine. “So, I hear congratulations are in order. You two hooked up, huh?”

“Yeah.” Hosea’s smile was back. “She holds the key to my heart.” He took her hand and squeezed it.

“That’s great. I guess I don’t have to ask what you’ve been up to.” Brian laughed.

Hosea said, “No, I guess you don’t. Our baby’s due in a couple of months.”

Brian’s grin went away. He looked at Jasmine. “You’re pregnant?”

She slipped her hand away from Hosea. “No,” she said, protecting her bulging middle.

Hosea frowned. “Darlin’, are you all right?”

Heat rose inside of her and then pushed its way to her skin.

“Darlin’?”

Jasmine blinked. Stood. Reached for Hosea, but her eyes met Brian’s.

She watched as his glance lowered to her belly. He stared and then his eyes reached back for hers. They connected.

“Darlin’?”

She could hear Hosea, but couldn’t see him. Could only see Brian.

“You’re pregnant,” Brian repeated.

And then her world faded to black.

H
osea!”

“I’m right here, darlin’.”

She felt his hand on her arm, but when she tried to lift up, he gently guided her back down.

“Where?”

“You’re at Mount Sinai. You fainted.”

Her eyes searched the space. Besides the twin-size cot on wheels, only a stool and a counter filled this small room.

“What—” And then the memory rushed back. Brian. “Hosea!”

“I’m right here,” he squeezed her hand, “you’re going to be all right.”

“The baby?”

“The doctor said you’re fine, the baby’s fine. He’ll be right back.”

Jasmine nodded, but still her heart pounded as the memory of Brian stayed. What happened after she fainted? Had Brian said anything?

She glanced again at Hosea. Only concern covered his face.

“It’s all right.” Hosea stroked her arm.

She repeated those same words silently.

“It’s actually better when both cheaters are married.”

She remembered Brian’s words and hated that he’d called her that. Hated who she used to be. Hated that she had to live with this.

“Mrs. Bush, you’re awake.”

Jasmine turned to face the young black doctor entering the room with a chart in his hand.

“Darlin’, this is Dr. Austin.”

“How are you feeling?” the doctor asked.

“Fine, but how’s my baby?”

“Your baby is fine, but there is a slight problem. Your blood pressure is elevated, and we’re going to do an ultrasound to check on the baby.”

Hosea said, “We had an ultrasound a few months ago.”

“That’s fine. It doesn’t hurt the baby,” the doctor said as attendants came into the room.

“I’m going with her,” Hosea demanded.

“No problem.”

As the doctor gave directions to the attendants, Jasmine reached for Hosea.

“It’s going to be all right, darlin’.”

She nodded, squeezed his hand, and with the other she rubbed her stomach.

The doctor turned off
the machine and with little more than a thin smile, he left the room.

“I’m scared,” Jasmine said to Hosea.

“No need, darlin’.”

“But did you notice how he didn’t say a word as he did the ultrasound?”

Hosea shrugged. “That’s just his style.” He tried to chuckle, but Jasmine didn’t join him.

When Dr. Austin entered the room, Jasmine pushed herself up. “How’s my baby?” she asked before he could speak.

“The baby’s fine, but we’re still concerned. Your blood pressure is still elevated, in fact, it appears to be rising.”

“Why is that, Doctor?” Hosea asked.

“We’re not sure, but we don’t want to take chances, so we’re going to take the baby.”

“Take the baby?” Hosea and Jasmine said together.

Dr. Austin held up his hands. “We’re going to do a Cesarean. Now don’t worry,” he said when he looked at their expressions. “Almost a third of all babies are born this way. We just want to be on the safe side.”

“But, Doctor,” Hosea said. “Isn’t this too soon?”

“It’s a few weeks early, but—”

“A few weeks? We’re talking almost ten—”

Jasmine squeezed her eyes shut, moaned as loud as she could.

“Darlin’, what’s wrong?”

“My—my back,” she said, hoping that would be enough to keep Dr. Austin’s focus away from how far she was in her pregnancy.

“You’re having back pains?” the doctor asked, his forehead filled with lines. “Where exactly?”

“All over. Hosea, please call Dr. Edmonds. I want Dr. Edmonds.”

“Okay, darlin’, calm down.” He turned to Dr. Austin. “I’ve paged our doctor. Do you think we have time to wait for him?”

“Yes, there’s no immediate danger.” He glanced over Jasmine’s chart. “But in the meantime, we need something from you, Mr. Bush. If you can go to the lab, we’d like to draw some blood.” Before Hosea could ask, the doctor added, “It’s just a precaution. Did Dr. Edmonds talk to you about your baby’s condition?”

“What’s wrong with my baby?” Jasmine cried.

“Mrs. Bush, please calm down. If you prefer, I can talk to your husband outside.”

“No!” Jasmine couldn’t let that happen. She had to know what was being said.

“Darlin’, stay calm, okay?”

She nodded.

“Go ahead, Doctor.”

“All right. To put this simply, your baby has a rare condition called PKL. In layman’s terms that means that under certain conditions, at birth, your baby could have a problem with bleeding.”

“Like a hemophiliac?”

“It’s the same concept, but this is a condition that is only triggered during birth.”

“That sounds serious, Doctor.”

“It can be. I’m a bit surprised that Dr. Edmonds didn’t discuss this with you, but it’s probably because it can be controlled. I’d just like to have the blood available, just in case.”

Jasmine felt as if she couldn’t breathe. “Doctor, I want you to use my blood for our baby.”

“Mrs. Bush, we need to get you prepped. Mr. Bush will work just fine.”

She pushed herself up straight, needing air to breathe—to think.

“Don’t worry, darlin’, I’ll be right back.” Hosea kissed her, then turned to the doctor. “Let’s roll.”

She had to do something. Do something. Something. But by the time her lips moved, Dr. Austin and Hosea were out of her sight.

She couldn’t believe this was going to end like a bad romance novel. In the middle of surgery, the doctor would pronounce that Hosea Bush was not the father of this baby. And in front of all the staff, she would be exposed as an adulterer.

“It’s over,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Bush, did you say something?” a nurse asked.

Jasmine shook her head.

“Okay, let’s take off your jewelry,” she said, handing a packet to Jasmine. “We’ll give this to your husband.”

Jasmine felt as if she were moving in slow motion.
It’s over,
she thought again and again as she took the diamond key from around her neck.

“Now, let’s get you ready to be a mommy!”

The nurse’s cheer was not contagious.

As she was rolled toward the operating room, Jasmine tried to remember the touch of Hosea’s lips as he kissed her. Tried not to think that would be the last kiss they’d ever share.

Jasmine waited for Hosea
to hate her.

He rushed into the surgical room and took her hand. “Are you ready, darlin’?” he asked.

She nodded, not understanding.
Maybe he just doesn’t know yet.

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bush.”

She sighed with relief. “Dr. Edmonds.”

“I’m ready, Mrs. Bush, are you?”

She nodded.

With Hosea holding her hands, Jasmine squeezed her eyes shut. When the doctor announced that he’d made the first incision, she opened her eyes. Felt nothing.

Five minutes later, she heard the first cry.

“We have a baby,” Dr. Edmonds announced. “At seven-oh-three, on New Year’s Day, we have a baby girl.”

“Darlin’, it’s a girl,” Hosea said as the doctor held up the squirming infant with almost more hair than size. Dr. Edmonds handed their baby to the nurse, then said to Jasmine, “Now, let’s fix you up.”

“Darlin’, we have a little girl,” Hosea repeated.

“I know,” she said.

Minutes later, while the doctor still worked, the nurse handed the baby to Jasmine.

“Is it safe for me to hold her?” Jasmine asked.

“Definitely. You have a healthy six-pound, two-ounce baby girl.”

“Six pounds, two ounces?” Hosea said. “Are you sure? She’s so early, I would’ve thought she would’ve been smaller.”

Before Jasmine could think, Dr. Edmonds said, “Those prenatal vitamins and Mrs. Bush’s good diet certainly helped,” he explained without lifting his eyes from Jasmine’s abdomen. “It’s actually good that the baby came early. No telling how much she would have weighed if she’d gone full term.” Dr. Edmonds chuckled.

“So, what about the PKL?” Hosea asked.

Jasmine wondered if his questions would ever stop. Wasn’t it enough that they had a healthy baby?

Continuing, Hosea said, “Will she need a blood transfusion?”

“Not at all,” Dr. Edmonds said. “She made it through just fine.” Dr. Edmonds looked at Jasmine and winked.

She smiled her thank you, then raised her eyes and said, “Thank you,” to God inside. She looked down at her baby and then at her beaming husband. It was official now. She had a baby. Her baby. Hers and Hosea’s.

Jasmine didn’t know where
she was when her eyes fluttered open.

But then she saw Hosea, sitting in the chair across the room, his head back, mouth open, performing a snoring symphony just like when they first met.

She pushed herself up, but when she edged her legs over the side of the bed, she moaned, awakening her husband.

“Darlin’, are you all right?” Hosea jumped from the chair.

She leaned back on the bed. “Yeah, I’m just a bit sore.”

“Dr. Edmonds said you would be. You need to take it easy.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to do that,” she said. “We have a baby.”

He grinned, sat on the edge of the bed. “Well, I’m going to take care of both of you.”

“I want to see her. What time is it?”

He glanced at his watch. “It’s late, almost ten, but the nurse said we could feed her when you woke up.”

“Hosea, I can’t wait. Do we have to go to the nursery?”

“Nah, since she’s a normal weight, they’ll bring her to us. The only thing is that she can’t sleep in here.”

Jasmine nodded. “That’s okay, as long as I can see her now.”

Hosea stepped outside, and minutes later the nurse rolled their baby inside the room. She parked the crib next to the bed, then handed the baby to Hosea.

“Wow,” he said as the baby rested in the crook of his arms. “She’s so tiny.”

Jasmine’s cheek almost ached with her wide smile as she watched her husband holding their child. But right after the nurse stepped away, he passed their baby to Jasmine.

“Here, you take this little one. I don’t want to hurt her,” he said.

“You won’t.” Jasmine chuckled. “You’ll be fine.” Then, she looked down, and said, “Our little one.”

After a moment, Hosea said, “Darlin’, we can’t keep calling her ‘little one.’”

For weeks, she’d considered this, but had kept the thoughts to herself. She needed one final way to bond Hosea to their daughter. “I really want you to name her.”

He smiled. “Well, there was one name that we both liked.” He paused. “Little one,” he said to their baby, “the perfect name for you is Jacqueline. Jacqueline Elizabeth. Jacqueline Elizabeth Bush.”

Jasmine repeated the name. “I love her initials. We can call her Jeb. Jeb Bush.”

“I don’t think so,” he said with a lot of bass in his voice.

Jasmine laughed.

“Hey, I have something for you.” From his pocket, he removed the necklace and hooked it onto her neck. “I need to buy one of these for Jacqueline too. Because now there are two women who have the key to my heart.”

Cuddling their baby, Jasmine gently kissed her husband.