A Sister's Secret (33 page)

Ruth just sat there with a dreamy look on her face.

“How about you, Ruth? Did you enjoy the young people’s get-together?”

“Jah, it was a lot of fun.”

Martha snickered. “Ruth’s in love.”

Judith’s eyebrows lifted in obvious surprise, but Roman looked over at Ruth and frowned. “Did Luke show up there? Are the two of you together again?”

Ruth shook her head. “No, Dad. Luke wasn’t there, and we aren’t a courting couple.”

He breathed out so forcefully that the air lifted a lock of hair from his forehead. “That’s a relief. As far as I’m concerned, that fellow can’t be trusted.”

Martha’s forehead wrinkled. “I’m sure Luke’s not the one responsible for the attacks against us. He doesn’t seem like the type to do something like that.”

“Jah, well, you can’t always judge a piece of wood by its color.”

Judith leaned close to Ruth. “If you’re not seeing Luke, then what did Martha mean when she said you were in love?”

Ruth lifted her gaze to the ceiling. “I’m not in love, Mom. I just got to know Martin a little better last night, that’s all.”

“Martin Gingerich?”

“Jah.”

“I talked to Abe Wengerd the other day, and he said he’d recently hired Martin as his apprentice,” Roman said.

Ruth nodded. “That’s what Martin told me. He said he thinks he’s going to like working in the boot and harness shop.”

“You should have seen the way Martin looked at Ruth,” Martha put in. “If ever there was a man in love, it has to be him.”

Ruth elbowed her sister. “Martin’s not in love with me any more than I am with him. As I said before, we’re just getting to know each other.”

“Jah, well, at least Martin’s settled down and joined the church. That’s more than I can say for Luke, who in my opinion is much too old to still be running around,” Roman grumbled.

Martha opened her mouth as if to respond, but he held up his hand. “Enough talk about Luke. Let’s get our breakfast finished and decide how we want to spend our day.”

“Since this is an off-Sunday from church, I thought it might be nice if we went calling on a few folks,” Judith spoke up.

“Martha and I had planned to take Anna on a picnic today,” Ruth said.

“We thought it might help take her mind off the puppy she lost,” Martha added.

“Besides, it will give Grace and Cleon some time alone together.”

“That’s a good idea,” Judith agreed. “Those two surely need to talk things through. With Anna out of the picture, it might be easier for them.”

Roman swallowed some coffee, then said, “If Grace hadn’t lied to Cleon, they wouldn’t have a problem.”

“She didn’t actually lie, Roman. She just withheld the facts about her previous marriage and having a daughter.”

He grunted. “From what Cleon told me, she didn’t tell him about her being in a family way, either.”

Judith shrugged, and the girls stared at their plates.

Roman grabbed a piece of toast and slathered it with a glob of apple butter. “I say we forget about Grace and Cleon’s problems and finish our breakfast.”

***

Grace paced between the kitchen sink and the table as she waited for Cleon to come downstairs. He’d gotten up long enough to drink a cup of coffee, but then he’d gone back to bed without eating breakfast, saying he had a headache. So Grace had fixed Anna’s breakfast and sent her off to spend the day with Ruth and Martha at the pond. She hoped a day of fun might lift her daughter’s spirits. Now if something could be done to lift her own.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs drew Grace’s attention, and she turned to greet Cleon when he entered the kitchen. “Is your
koppweh
gone?”

He nodded and yawned, stretching his arms overhead. “Can’t remember the last time I had a headache like that. A few more hours of sleep finally took it away, though.”

“I’m glad.” She motioned to the table. “If you’d like to take a seat, I’ll fix you something to eat.”

He glanced at the battery-operated clock on the far wall as he pulled out a chair and sat down. “It’s too late in the day for me to eat a big breakfast. Just a cup of coffee and some of those biscuits we had last night will do.”

Grace went to the stove for the coffeepot, then reached into the cupboard to retrieve a mug. After she’d filled it with hot coffee, she set it on the table in front of Cleon and went back to the counter to get the basket of biscuits. “Would you like me to warm them in the oven?”

“They’ll be fine the way they are.”

She placed the basket on the table, along with a dish of butter and a jar of strawberry jam. “Can I get you anything else?”

He shook his head.

“Ruth and Martha picked Anna up awhile ago, and they’re on their way to the pond.”

No response.

Grace pulled out the chair beside him and sat down. “I thought the two of us could spend the day together—maybe go for a walk or sit out on the porch swing and talk.” She watched his face, hoping to tell what he was thinking. His face was stoic.

He cut a biscuit in two and slathered some butter on both halves. “I’d planned to go over and see my folks today,” he mumbled. “Thought maybe I’d talk to Ivan about going in with me on some more beehives.”

“I could go along. It’s been a while since I visited with your folks.”

“I’d rather go alone.”

Grace’s heart sank. A dozen responses came to mind, but she couldn’t gather the presence of mind to verbalize one of them.

“Maybe you can spend the day with your folks,” he suggested.

She dared not say anything least she break down and cry, so she stared at a purple stain on the tablecloth until tears blinded her vision. What kind of marriage did they have with him sleeping in another room and the two of them barely speaking? Cleon had made it quite clear that he didn’t want to spend any time alone with her. Their marriage was a marriage in name only, just as Cleon had said it would be when he’d come home.

The now familiar churning in Grace’s stomach gripped her like a vise, and unable to stand the wall of silence between them, she pushed her chair away from the table and stood. One thing was certain: Only God could mend her broken marriage.

***

Cleon sat at the kitchen table staring into his empty mug and mulling things over. In his heart, he knew that he still loved Grace, but he felt frozen, unable to respond to her as a husband should respond to his wife. If only he could rid himself of the memory of her lies. How he wished he could erase everything that had happened between them and start over with the day they’d first met. Would Grace have said and done things differently if she’d known how things would turn out between them?

He leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. The gas lamp hanging overhead hissed softly, and he spotted a fly that had landed in a spider’s web in one corner of the room.

That’s how I feel,
he thought ruefully.
Like a trapped fly.

Cleon remembered his grandfather saying once that happiness didn’t depend on what life dished out to a person but rather on how the person chose to accept whatever came his way.

Guilt lay heavily on Cleon’s chest, and tension pulled the muscles in his neck and upper back as he shifted in his chair. It wasn’t good for a body to get so worked up, but every time he thought about Grace’s deception, it was as though his heart was being ripped in two. As a Christian, he should forgive, but did he have the strength to forget the past and look to a future with Grace and the baby she carried? Could he find enough love in his heart to be Anna’s stepfather?

Chapter 38

“What a perfect day for a picnic,” Ruth said as she and Martha spread a quilt under a leafy maple tree. “The pond looks so clear today. It’s almost as blue as the sky above. I’m glad spring is finally here. Makes me anxious for summer.”

Martha nodded and glanced down at Anna, who stood off to one side with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. Most children would be excited about going on a picnic, but Anna still grieved for her puppy. Nothing anyone had said or done had helped ease her pain. Maybe today would be different. Maybe something would happen that might make Anna laugh again.

“I thought it might be fun to take a walk in the woods.” Martha tapped Anna on the shoulder. “Should we do that now or after we eat our lunch?”

Anna wrinkled her nose. “I’m not hungry.”

Ruth placed the picnic basket on the quilt and took hold of Anna’s hand. “All right then, the three of us will take a walk now, and we can eat when we get back.” She smiled as the thought of the tasty lunch that awaited them made her mouth water. “I’m sure by then you’ll have worked up an appetite.”

Anna said nothing, but she didn’t resist as the three of them walked away.

Martha halted and turned back toward the quilt. “What about our picnic basket? Do you think it’s all right to leave it unattended, or should we put it back in the buggy?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Ruth called over her shoulder. “No one else is around that I can see, and we won’t be gone long. Let’s leave it under the tree where it can stay nice and cool.”

Martha shrugged and started walking again. If she wasn’t careful, she might end up like her older sister—worried about everything.

***

As Cleon headed to his folks’ place on foot, he struggled with feelings of guilt. He’d turned down Grace’s offer to accompany him, knowing she wanted them to spend time together. He simply wasn’t able to deal with the two of them being alone. He became anxious whenever they were in the same room, and his words often came out clipped or defensive. He knew it was wrong to harbor feelings of mistrust and bitterness, but he couldn’t seem to control his emotions where Grace was concerned.

It was an exceptionally warm day for spring, and Cleon reached up to wipe the rivulets of sweat running down his forehead and into his eyes. He wanted to be a father, had wanted it for a long time. This should be a joyful occasion, and he and Grace shouldn’t be sleeping in separate bedrooms.

That’s your choice,
a voice in his head reminded him.

He picked up speed. It was best that he didn’t think about this. Maybe he would feel better once he’d talked to Ivan and decided what to do about his beekeeping business.

A short time later, Cleon’s folks’ house came into view. He found Mom and Pop relaxing on the wide front porch in their rocking chairs, with one of the yellow barn cats sitting at Mom’s feet. She kept so busy all the time with her many responsibilities, it was nice to see her doing nothing for a change.

She smiled when Cleon stepped onto the porch. “It’s good to see you, son.”

“Good to see you, too.”

Pop grunted. “You don’t come around so much now that your bee boxes are gone and you’ve begun workin’ for Roman.”

Cleon took a seat on the top step and swiped at his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. “That’s one of the reasons I came over—wanted to speak with Ivan about the bees.”

“How’s Grace and that cute little stepdaughter of yours?” Mom asked. “I’m disappointed you didn’t bring them along.”

“Anna went on a picnic with Ruth and Martha today.”

“And Grace? How come she didn’t come with you?”

Cleon winced. Should he tell his folks the truth about his strained relationship with his wife? Should he tell them about her pregnancy? He knew they would find out sooner or later, and he figured the news should probably come from him.

He swallowed hard. “Uh ... Grace isn’t feeling well these days, so I thought it would be best if I came alone.”

“What’s wrong with her? Is she grank?” Mom’s brows furrowed with concern.

Cleon removed his straw hat and fanned his face with it. “Grace isn’t sick. She’s ... uh ... in a family way.”

Mom clapped her hands and nearly jumped out of her chair. “Oh, that’s wunderbaar!” She nudged Pop’s elbow. “Just think, Herman, our first
kinskind
is on the way.”

Pop’s face broke into a wide smile. “That is good news. Are ya hopin’ for a
buwe
or a
maedel?
” he asked, nodding at Cleon.

Cleon shrugged. “Haven’t had a chance to think much about whether I’d like a boy or girl. Just found out Grace was pregnant a few days ago.” He stood and flopped his hat back on his head. “Is Ivan about? I’d like to talk to him.”

“I think Ivan’s out in the barn. Said he was goin’ to take a nap in the hayloft.” Pop chuckled. “Ever since that boy was a kinner, he’s liked sleepin’ in the hay.”

“Okay. I’ll see if he’s there.” Cleon hurried away before his folks could continue discussing the baby.

He entered the barn a few minutes later and tipped his head to stare into the hayloft. “You up there, Ivan?”

No response.

Cleon cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered, “Ivan!”

A muffled grunt, followed by another, came from a mound of hay. “What’s with all the racket?” Ivan peered over the edge of the loft. “Cleon, I didn’t know you were comin’ over today.”