A Soldier's Christmas (13 page)

Emma smiled to herself while she sipped a
glass of red wine now that everyone had settled in the living room.

Her father had set the fire going in the
hearth, which filled the room with warmth while the snow swirled around
outside.

Christmas dinner with her family had been
good, better than she’d thought it would be. She was glad that her mom had
already made her peace with Logan beforehand because it made things easier.

Logan had laughed and joked with Travis and
Gabe and he’d fit right in with her family. Her mom knew that she planned to
move with Logan, but Emma wasn’t sure if anyone else had been told.

There had been so much that she hadn’t told
her family—so many things that Logan had encouraged her to do. She’d put
off announcing the success of her books because the time hadn’t been right, or
so she’d told herself. She was just nervous and needed to get it out there, and
now was the time. At least, she hoped it was.

“I have something to tell you,” she started,
and felt Logan squeeze her shoulder for support before his arm slid around
her…providing warmth. Travis nodded and gave her a small smile.

“Go ahead, Emma. You’ve got this,” Travis
encouraged.

Taking in a deep breath, she said, “I write
books, I no longer work in town, and I’m moving to a different state to be with
Logan.” She exhaled her words on the breath, her words rushed out before she
glanced around the room at the stunned faces of her family.

The silence was broken when Travis started
to roar with laughter. “Well, that’s one way of getting everything over with at
once.” He wiped his eyes.

“Travis, as the oldest, I’d have thought
you’d have more control,” her mom pointed out.

“Sorry, but I was only expecting the first.
At least, right now.” Travis chuckled, and met her gaze. “Carry on.”

Emma rolled her eyes at her brother and,
with Logan’s silent support beside her,
continued,
“I’ve been writing books and self publishing them for a while now. I have a
good following and I’ve sold more than I could have ever imagined.” She glanced
nervously at her parents, but they just stared back surprised. Her father had a
grin on his face, and her mom looked bewildered and had tears on her lashes.
“I’ve built a career writing, and because of that I can work anywhere in the
world with a Wi-Fi reception so I can follow Logan wherever his work takes him.
He doesn’t have long left in the service before he’s completed his twenty years.
Until he’s done, we’ll be living close to his base, and then who knows.”

She leaned forward and placed her glass on
the table before she settled back and took Logan’s hand. “All I know is that
nothing has ever felt so right before. I’m truly happy...so, in a day or two,
we’re heading back to Logan’s base before he has to report back on duty.”

She’d left things out, but she just wanted
to get everything out and off her chest. She could be more specific in a while
once everything she’d said had sunk in.

“You’re leaving when I’m about to have a
baby?” Bree sniffled into a Kleenex while Gabe held her close. “I want you here
when I give birth,” she cried.

Emma felt her heartstrings pull with Bree’s
words. She knew that Bree wouldn’t be happy, but Emma had to live her life, and
Logan didn’t get a choice about where he lived until he no longer wore his
uniform. “Bree,” she started, “I’m not moving out of the country, and it isn’t
all that far away really. North Carolina is only a few hours flight, so I can
be back here as soon as you go into labor.”

“She’s right, babe,” Gabe adds. “She can’t
put her new life on hold when Logan doesn’t get a choice.” Gabe kissed his
wife.

“I know. I’m a selfish woman, who is ten
months pregnant with no end in sight,” Bree grumbled.

Emma couldn’t help the chuckle. “Ten months,
sis?”

“I feel like a whale.” She pouted as amusement
finally lit her face.

“Regardless how you feel, Gabe can’t keep
his hands off you, so stop complaining, and be happy for me.”

“I am happy.”

“You published your book?” her mom asked,
sorrow lined her features.

Emma nodded.

“I’ve been a horrid mother to you these
past couple of years.”

Emma shook her head.

“Yes, I have. It’s been one thing after
another that I should have supported you with but I didn’t.” She paused to get
her emotions under control. “Can you ever forgive me?”

“Yes.” As soon as the word left her mouth,
she knew that she did forgive her mom. Regardless of her mom’s reasoning behind
everything, she thought she had Emma’s best interests in mind. It was
reassuring that she still had her mom there to worry over her and to try to
help, no matter how misaligned her help was.

“Tell us more about your writing, honey,”
her mom requested.

Emma glanced to her father and was
encouraged with his soft smile. “I self published my first book and had no idea
it would take off the way that it did. I’m on my sixth book, which is out on
the tenth of January. So much is happening, which is terrifying really, but I
know that, with Logan by my side, I can do anything. He’s my rock.” She smiled
at Logan, and nuzzled against his palm when he cupped her face.

“I’m so proud of you,” her father said. “Do
you have any of your books here?”

Emma nodded. “Yes. They’re in my room. I
write under the name of R. Logan.” She intertwined her fingers with Logan. “I
couldn’t have done any of that without Logan. He encouraged and supported me
from thousands of miles away.”

“Which is what we should have done.” Her
father stood and moved to stand in front of her. Emma let him pull her to her
feet and wrap her in his arms. “I love you, honey, and I’m so sorry I didn’t
listen to you way back when. But I’m so damn proud of you.” He kissed the top
of her head.

Her father held his hand out to Logan. He
stood and took it. “Thank you for being there for Emma, and please look after
her.”

“Thank you, sir. And I love your daughter,
so I’ll always look after her.”

“That’s good enough.” He clapped Logan on
the shoulders. “Welcome to the family, son.”

Emma moved into Logan’s side when she
realized he fought back his emotion at her father’s words.

After she’d accepted hugs and
congratulations from her family, Emma noticed her mom was no longer in the
room.

“She slipped out,” Logan whispered.

Emma met his gaze. “I need to talk to her.”

“Go and find your mom.”

Her mom, when she was upset, would always
retreat to the kitchen and make herself a cup of English tea. She used to tell
Emma and Bree that either a cup of tea or a hot chocolate solved everything.

And that’s were she found her
mom—sitting at the kitchen table with a tea cup in front of her, and the
tea pot not too far away.

Emma moved and sat beside her. She didn’t
hesitate and covered her mom’s hand with hers. “It’s okay, Mom.”

Her mom shook her head, fresh tears on her
face. “It isn’t okay. I’m your mom, and I love you very much, but I haven’t
acted like that. I’m supposed to be the one to support you and encourage you,
and I didn’t. That makes me very sad, and I hate myself right now. I don’t know
how you can ever forgive me.”

Emma didn’t need to think and, as she let
her own tears loose, she admitted, “Mom, I forgive you because I love you and I
don’t want any more regrets between us. There has been too much in such a short
time but, after today, I want to move forward. Do you think you can do that? No
more regret about the past. We only look forward. I need you to do that.”

With how distressed her mom looked, there
was no way that Emma could not forgive her for everything. She’d wanted to hold
onto her anger over the letters, but she just couldn’t do it. It wasn’t
something she’d ever forget, but she knew that she’d eventually move past it.

“I can do that...I think.” Her mom smiled
through her tears. “I’m really proud of what you’ve done, Emma. So proud,
honey.”

“Thanks, Mom. That means a lot.” Emma stood
and leaned over her mom to kiss her on the cheek. “Let’s go back into the
living room and watch a sappy Christmas movie.”

“Okay. I think National Lampoon’s Christmas
Vacation is on.”

Emma chuckled. “Not sappy but it isn’t
Christmas without that movie.”

Her mom finally found amusement. “No it
isn’t.”

Logan had enjoyed himself with Emma’s
family over the Christmas festivities, but they’d eventually come to an end
once they’d loaded Emma’s essentials into the back of his truck. He’d known
then that he’d made the right decision to purchase the truck instead of relying
on a rental.

But on day three of their journey to his
base in North Carolina, they were stopping in Charlottesville, Virginia to
visit with Claire, his friend Matthew’s widow, and Logan’s goddaughter, Alice.

He’d called ahead and felt relief when
Claire had sounded more herself than the previous times he’d spoken to her.

So as he turned onto the road that led to
Claire’s parents’ property, he felt excited at seeing them again, but nervous
with Emma being with him. Although he’d only spoken on the phone with Claire
since Matt had died, it always reopened the hole in his gut and the loss he
felt. No matter how much time passed, losing his best friend would always feel
fresh, as though it was only yesterday. He didn’t think he’d have it in him to
act as though everything was okay for Emma, after his visit, which was why he
felt nervous.

At the last thought, he felt Emma’s hand as
she placed it onto his thigh, and just let it rest against him. “It’s okay,
Logan.” She squeezed his thigh. “You’re not alone anymore, and I’m here for you
no matter what.”

He pulled the truck to a stop beside the
one he recognized as Claire’s, and took hold of Emma’s hand. He kissed her
fingers. “Thank you.”

She offered him a soft smile. “Come on. I
can see Alice on the porch waiting for you.”

He turned his head and spotted his eight-year-old
goddaughter, hovering.

Emma removed her hand and climbed out of
the truck while he sat there like a lemon. She walked around to his side and
opened his door. “Logan?”

“I’m okay.” He sighed, and climbed out
before he took hold of Emma’s hand again, it was his lifeline. “Or I will be.”

“You’ve got this.”

He wasn’t sure he had.

Before he could think, Alice jumped from
the porch steps and started running toward him.

He let go of Emma and wrapped his arms
around his goddaughter when she buried her face against his chest.

“I knew you’d come,” she whispered, and
looked up at him, tears on her lashes. “Daddy isn’t coming home.”

His heart broke. What the hell was he
supposed to say? He tried to breathe through his own sorrow, which was close to
the surface at Alice’s whispered words. He was over emotional anyway with the
visit, but his goddaughter really did break his heart.

It was the comfort of Emma’s hand on his
back that helped him pull himself together.

“I know, sweetheart.” He dipped his head
and rested his chin against the top of Alice’s head while he held her in his
embrace.

He glanced up and caught sight of Claire as
she waited where her daughter had been when they arrived—at the top of
the porch steps—with her hand covering her mouth. He knew without getting
closer that she was crying softly.

“Alice,” he asked, “would you show my
girlfriend, Emma, your horse while I talk to your mom?”

“Yes.” She pulled out of his arms and,
after a few sniffles, smiled at Emma.

“Do you want to see my new horse? I’ve named
her Buttercup,” Alice asked, looking at Emma.

“You okay with that?” Logan asked. The last
thing he wanted was for Emma to feel like he was getting rid of her.

“I love horses,” Emma replied, and reached
up to kiss his cheek. “I love you.”

Emma held her hand out to Alice. “I’m Emma
and can’t wait to meet Buttercup.”

Alice slipped her hand into Emma’s and
tugged her toward the stables while he turned and faced Claire.

Matt had loved Claire since the moment he’d
met her in high school, and over the years, his love for her hadn’t wavered.
She was all he’d talk about when they were on deployment, and they were inseparable
when they were on home soil. He couldn’t begin to imagine what Claire must be
going through having lost her soul mate.

As he walked toward her, she moved toward
him and they met in the middle of the path. Claire’s face broke on a sob and
Logan tugged her into his arms. He held her tight and let his own tears flow at
the heartache he heard behind Claire’s.

While they stood on the front path, Logan
had no idea how long they stayed like they were, or whether anyone else saw
them, but he really didn’t care.

“I’m sobbing all over you,” Claire
whispered, and pulled back to look up at him. “I’m glad you’re here...and with
the
Emma.” She offered him a small
smile.

“Yeah,” he blew out a breath and looked
around him, “she really is my Emma. I love her, Claire.”

“Matt told me you fell in love with her
through her letters.”

No
way!

“He did not.”

Claire laughed and it sounded good to his
ears. “He did. I told him that I’d tease you about her...I miss him, Logan. So
much.”

“I know.” He tugged her against his side
and walked her up the porch steps to the rocking chairs he’d spotted. “How are
you really doing?” He smiled as he sat beside her. “And don’t just say ‘fine’,
which is all you’ve been saying over the phone.”

“It’s difficult. I keep expecting to see
him walk up the front path even though I know that isn’t going to happen. I’m
not as bad as I was at first, but some days, I feel
more numb
than others. It helps having Alice.” She shrugged, and looked off toward the
barn. “I’m happy for you, Logan.” She met his gaze, changing the subject.
“You’ve been alone for a long time, and you’ve needed a good woman by your
side.” She smiled, softly. “Matt would have ridden your ass about her for
years. You know that, right?”

“I know. I would have deserved it as well
considering how much I rode his about you...often.” He chuckled.

“I can imagine...I was really nervous when
you called saying you were going to visit. But now, I don’t know why I was. I
feel just as comfortable with you as I always did. Matt thought of you as his
brother, and loved you like
one,
just like I do...what
I’m trying to say is that I don’t want you to be a stranger, Logan. I know it’s
going to be difficult to be around us without Matt, just like it will be for
us, but you’re family.” Claire reached out and clutched his hand.

Although it still hurt and probably always
would, it felt good to sit with Claire and talk, which is how he found the
strength to promise Claire, “I’ll always be here if you need me, and even when
you don’t,” he grinned, “but I need you to know that I won’t just be doing it
because of a promise that I made to Matt. You’re both family to me as well, and
I need you to understand that.”

Claire nodded. “Tell me what your plans are
with Emma.”

“I should have known you wouldn’t let the
Emma conversation pass.” He chuckled.

“You’re avoiding the subject.” She smirked.

“I’m not really...She’s amazing Claire, and
she’s such a talented writer, and Matt was right. I did fall in love with her
through her letters, but I love the real woman now. We’re going to find
somewhere to live together to see my twenty out and then we can settle anywhere...and
yes, I’m going to marry her...I haven’t asked her yet, so don’t give my plans
away.” He laughed at how much he was saying. Usually he didn’t share information
with people, but if you can’t share your happiness with your family,
who
could you share it with?

“I won’t, and I better receive an invite to
your wedding.”

“You will...sis.”

At his words, Claire sniffled and dabbed at
her tears. “Ignore me. Let’s go to the stables and you can introduce me to
Emma.”

“I’d like that.”