A Soldier's Christmas (9 page)

“What was that all about?” Emma nodded in
her brother’s direction as they slowly walked down the sidewalk toward his
truck.

“He wanted to make sure that I looked after
you.”

“I think he likes you.”

“Well, that’s makes three members of your
family who like me.”

“Three?”

“You, Bree, and Travis.” He counted them
off on his fingers, hoping he’d win the others over eventually, although he
wasn’t sure about her mom.

“Oh, Gabe is a softy and my dad will be
there today.”

He groaned. “Firing squad today, huh?”

Emma lightly punched him in the stomach and
he made a low ‘oomph’. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Let’s get the truck cleared so we can get
it over with and I can get you back here.” He wiggled his brows at Emma, and
she blew him a kiss in return.

If talking to Emma’s mom hadn’t been
essential for their peace of mind, he’d have suggested skipping it and staying
locked in their room where it was warm and inviting.

The greeting today had been warm and a lot
more welcoming. Emma had called her parents on the way to the house, but she’d
been surprised to discover that, when they arrived, there had been cake warming
in the oven, and coffee had been freshly brewed in the new machine. And her dad
had been present with a hug waiting for her. She hadn’t missed the constant
look that he passed to Logan, but, so far, there hadn’t been any trace of the
unsure looks of the day before.

Emma’s heart felt lighter in her chest when
her dad had suggested that Logan head to the barn with him to give him a hand
with the sleigh, as Travis wasn’t around to help. Her dad wasn’t one for laying
down the law because he always left that to her mom, so she knew Logan was safe
with him.

While Emma watched her mom remove the cake
that she’d baked, Emma debated asking about the letters. It was on the tip of her
tongue, but she was nervous, and afraid of what the answer would be. Part of
her hoped that the answer would be yes, because then they’d know what happened,
but if she said no, they were back at the beginning.

“You’re quiet,” her mom observed, and
placed the freshly baked cake onto the middle of the kitchen table. “I thought
you were happy to have Logan here and, well, with you.” She raised a brow in
question.

Emma sighed. “I am happy he’s here, but
it’s the missing letters that is now on my mind.” Emma met her mom’s gaze. “We
both wrote to each other. We never stopped, but our letters stopped reaching
their destination. Logan and I, need to know what happened to them, and why. Do
you understand, Mom? We can’t settle until we know why...and, I’m wondering if
you know the answer.”

The reaction from her mom wasn’t one that
she’d expected. Her mom looked resigned more than anything and, with a
sigh,
she dropped into a chair opposite Emma.

Emma felt close to tears because that was
surely her mom’s confession. It had to be.

“Why, Mom?” her voice broke miserably.
Until then, she hadn’t realized just how much she didn’t want it to be because
of her own mother—anything…anyone…but her mom.

“He was overseas, you and Seth were here. You
weren’t really living, or rather you were, but for his letters. I wanted you to
forget him and go after Seth.”

“But I never did. I didn’t want Seth, Mom.
The only person I’ve ever connected to is out in the barn with Dad.” Emma
swiped at the tears as they ran down her face. “Why would you want me to be so
unhappy? I cried and longed for just one word from him to let me know that he
was still breathing. All this time, you’ve known he was fine.”

“I didn’t think at first, but then it got
to the point where it would have seemed odd to suddenly start receiving them
again.” Her mom wiped at a stray tear on her own cheek. “I didn’t mean to hurt
you. I thought that within a month you’d be back to your usual self.”

“Mom, I haven’t been myself for a long time.”
Then something else dawned on Emma. “Did you read my letters to him? How did
you stop me from receiving his? Did you read his too before you destroyed
them?” Emma started pacing as her anger rose.

“Emma, please sit down and I’ll answer your
questions.”

Emma paused and grabbed a Kleenex from the
box on the counter before she sat back down. Her mom looked upset about her
confession, but she was too calm when Emma needed to shout and scream.

“I never read any of the letters, yours or
his. I just never mailed yours and…and, I got a friend to keep Logan’s back so
that they wouldn’t get delivered. She’d then message me and I’d go pick them up
in town…I’m so sorry, Emma.”

Emma shook her head. “What did you do with
the letters?”

“I’ll get them.” Her mom stood and walked
out of the kitchen, slower than she normally would.

Emma tried to ignore the fact that her mom
seemed genuinely sorry for holding them back, but she couldn’t forgive her, at
least not yet.

Walking back in, her mom held a box, that
at one time held a pair of boots, and placed it in front of her.

“Everything is in there.”

She lifted her eyes and let her mom see all
her pain. “You do realize that what the ‘friend’ did by stopping Logan’s
letters from reaching the house was illegal and that Logan and I would be within
our rights to report what happened to the sheriff.” Emma wouldn’t be talking to
the sheriff, but she’d support whatever decision Logan made. They were a team.

“Oh, Emma, please don’t do that. She did it
for me. I know I shouldn’t have asked her, but I did it because I was worried
about you being so lost in a man that you’d never met.”

She had to give her mom something because
no matter what she’d done or the reason why, Emma still loved her mother.
“Providing everything is in here,” she rested her hand on the box, “then we
probably won’t.”

Emma stood and pulled on her coat.

“You’re leaving? Please, Emma. Stay and
have some cake. Let me apologize to Logan.”

Emma held the box tightly in her arms and
faced her mom. “I need to be alone with Logan right now.” She pulled open the
backdoor and walked down the steps, her tears coated her face. At Logan’s
truck, Emma placed the box onto the backseat and went looking for her man.

She tried to control the water works but
nothing seemed to work, which is why, when Logan saw her, he dropped the tool
and dashed to her side.

“What the hell!” He pulled her into his
arms before he set her a bit away to cup her face. “What happened, babe? You’re
scaring me.”

Emma shook her head, and mumbled. “They’re
in the truck.”

“What? What’s in the truck?” Logan looked
confused, but as he gazed into her eyes, she saw it register what she meant.

“The letters. She says they are all there,”
she confirmed.

“Emma, honey, what’s going on?” her dad
asked.

She’d forgotten her dad would be in the
barn when she’d gone looking for Logan. She’d just needed him and nothing else
had crossed her mind.

“Did you know that Mom is responsible for
our letters not reaching each other?”

“What?” Her dad looked surprised, and
cursed under his breath. “No, I didn’t,” he added, tight lipped, angry. “She
seriously kept Emma’s letters from you?”

Logan nodded.

“But how did she stop Logan’s from reaching
you?” He took his wool cap off and scratched his head before placing it back
down.

“Mom’s friend at the post office held them
back and gave them to Mom.”

“She admitted that?” Logan asked.

“Yeah. Can we go? I can’t be here right
now.”

“Yeah, c’mon.” Logan took her hand and
turned to her dad. “I’m sorry to abandon you, but I need to take care of Emma.”

Her father smiled. “You’re a good man, and
I’m sorry my wife tried to keep you both apart. As for the sleigh, don’t worry.
My daughter is more important.”

Emma cried and hugged her father. “Thank
you.”

Her father hugged her back before shoving
her toward Logan. “Go with your man, and Logan...”

“Sir?”

“Look after my daughter, there’s only one
Emma.”

“You have my word that she’ll be in good
hands with me.”

He nodded and walked off while Emma
chuckled against Logan’s chest.

“I never thought I’d find amusement today,
but you telling my father that I’m in good
hands
was amusing.”

Logan rolled his eyes as they alighted with
mirth. “I love having my hands on you.” He became serious. “Where are the
letters?”

“In the back seat of your truck.”

He raised a brow in question.

“She kept them all in a large shoe box.”

He kissed Emma on the forehead and she felt
her heart swell with love for him.

“Let’s go back to our room and read our
letters.”

Logan slung his arm around her shoulders,
and held her close before he lifted her into his truck.

Logan had felt a great deal of relief when
Emma had told him that the letters were in his truck. They finally knew what
had happened to them and the letters were currently spread out all over the
bed.

Emma cuddled between his spread thighs on
the bed while she finished reading one of the letters he’d written to her. By
her sniffles into a Kleenex, he knew that she was crying and, reading over her
shoulder, he also had tears on his face. The letter had been the most
heartbreaking that he’d written because he’d just lost one of his best friends.
He’d written down every emotion that he’d felt at that time, and the memory of
writing those words made his chest ache. It had been the writing of those words
on the paper that Emma read that had finally made him break down and give in to
the tears. Matthew had been his best friend since they’d met on their first day
at boot camp. They’d even shared an apartment when they hadn’t been deployed
before Matthew had married his high school sweetheart. But they’d stayed close
and Logan was the godfather to Matthew’s daughter, Alice. Matthew and family
had lived in base housing, but his wife, Claire, had moved back home to be
close to her family after his death. He didn’t blame her, and planned on
visiting as soon as everything with Emma and her family was sorted.

But reading his words left a rock in his
gut the size of a mountain. He missed his friend and, although he wanted to
visit Claire to make sure that she was doing okay, he was terrified of what he
might find. The love that his buddy had shared with his wife was what everyone
wished to have one day. He felt he could have that with the woman who currently
cried softly in his arms.

She’d finished reading his letter and turned
into him. He tilted her face up to his, and placed a tender kiss to her lips.

Emma whispered, “I’m so sorry I wasn’t
there for you.” She cried and held on to him for what felt like hours but was
probably five minutes. “You didn’t have anyone to talk to. She stopped me from
being there—to give you comfort or to, at least, let you know how much I
loved you and prayed for your safe return.” She turned back into his shirt and
cried, but all he remembered from all that was the word ‘love’.

He held her until she’d cried herself out
before he slid her down on the bed and mopped her up with more Kleenex. “Emma,
do you remember what you just said?”

Smiling through her remaining tears, Emma
nodded her head. “I love you, Logan. I fell in love with you over eighteen
months ago, and now that you’re here with me, my love for you has grown
stronger.” She offered him a watery smile. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you
when you needed me the most.”

Logan held her close, his words refused to
form in his head with how overwhelmed he was. Outside of his parents, he’d only
said the words once in his life—when Matthew was taking his last breath,
Logan had whispered to his friend how much he loved him. And he had, as a
brother, he’d never said it to a woman, but he wanted to say the words to Emma.

He cupped her face in his hands and rested
his forehead against hers. “I love you.” He sighed on a chuckle of happiness.
“I’ve loved you for just as long, which is why not receiving a letter from you
hurt more than it should have. The words you wrote to me meant so much, and I
fell in love with you.” He placed a feather light kiss across her lips. “I love
you.”

He held tight as Emma snuggled against him.
The feel of her body against him warmed him through and he hoped that he’d
never have to let her go. Her hand pressed into his back as though she wanted
him closer. There was only one way he’d be closer and then he’d be inside her.

With a silent groan, he realized that Emma
had fallen asleep in his arms while he suffered through one hell of a boner. He
placed a kiss to her forehead before he slithered out from under her and caught
his breath when her knee came into contact with his groin.

He stood at the side of the bed and glanced
down at himself and winced. His hard dick would be obscene if he was in public
with it bulging against his thigh. He smiled and reached inside to move it into
a more comfortable position—reaching up to his navel.

He glanced at Emma and smiled with pleasure
at her curled up asleep. Her glorious auburn waves curled down her back in a
loose tie, her hands were partially hidden by the pillow that he’d shoved
beneath her when he’d moved. Her lips were slightly parted, and as he caressed
her with his eyes, his heart flooded with even more love for her as he exhaled
in a long sigh of contentment.

He stepped away from the bed and realized
the letters were still all over the bed and floor, so he gathered them together
and made two piles—his and hers.

Emma’s letters to him had only been half
read because she had become too emotional reading his, and he’d wanted to
comfort her.

Glancing back to the bed, Emma still slept
soundly so he made himself comfortable in the chair by the window and opened
one of her last letters…

Dearest
Logan,

I wish with all my heart that I had
another way to contact you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. I
wake up for a new day and you’re there in my head, echoing in my heart. I go to
sleep every night after re-reading all your letters because I feel with
everyday that passes I’m not going to hear from you again.

I pray every Sunday at church that
you are still in good health and that nothing has happened to you.

Your lack of response tells me that
you’ve started writing to someone else, and that I don’t matter anymore. Is
that true? Please write and tell me. It hurts to imagine that you have, but I
feel that if it
was
, you’d have told me.

We connected. I know we did and your
silence is terrifying if I have to be honest.

I need to know that you’re still
with me.

Please, Logan. Please write back to
me.

All my love,

Emma

Logan finished reading and let his hand
drop to his lap. As he gazed outside, it didn’t really register that fresh snow
fell because all he could focus on was Emma’s desperation to know that he was
safe.

How could her mother do that to them? To
her own daughter? Her mom should be made to read their letters, and perhaps,
she’d have more of an understanding about what she’d done to them.

He was a total stranger to her family, but
Emma was their daughter...sister. Emma must feel such a betrayal over what her
mom had decided to do, all in the name of keeping her daughter tied to an
ass
who really didn’t appreciate Emma.

She was unhappy with Seth, and her words
said so much more than what she’d have ever said out loud to her family, but
hell! He was annoyed that the letters they’d written to each other hadn’t been
received.

He knew himself well enough to know that something
would be said the next time he saw her mom. Emma was his to protect and defend.
Although he didn’t want to have a bad relationship with Emma’s mom, he wasn’t
going to keep his feelings to himself. She needed to hear what he had to say.

It took a while, and he had no idea how
long he’d sat in the chair, but the heavy snowfall outside the window finally
registered with him. The lights from the stores across the road looked hazy
through the snow.

He hadn’t meant to lose track of time and
get lost in the past with his memories. The other letters sat on the table
beside him, but he didn’t think he was ready to read them just yet. Eventually,
he would. But knowing how much Emma longed for word from him from across the
miles hurt him more than he thought it would, and he didn’t want to sink further
into heartache while he had the woman herself in his bed.

Logan glanced at Emma, who was curled up
against a pillow, and a longing so intense hit him in the gut. She really was beautiful,
on the inside and out. Her heart was good to want to write and share her life
through letters with a stranger thousands of miles away.

Emma moaned and turned slightly in her
sleep, so Logan stood and moved over to the bed. He climbed on, settled down
beside her, and smiled when she opened her eyes.

“You’re just as beautiful asleep as you are
awake.” He leaned in and kissed her sweet lips. “You always taste of...
home
.” Logan offered her a small smile
knowing that he spoke the truth.

“You’re stuck with me now. I hope you know
what you’ve gotten yourself into.” Emma sighed against him and cuddled closer.
“I’m still tired.”

Logan pulled her into his arms and gasped
when she curled her leg between his, her knee rubbing against his groin. “You
might still be tired, but you’ve just woken me up.”

Emma chuckled and rubbed against him again.
The pleasure rapidly rose in Logan, and he realized that he’d be having a
shower if Emma really did go back to sleep.

“Did you read any of the letters I sent
you?”

His breath caught at the back of his throat
with Emma’s question. And after reading one of them, he still felt unsure as to
whether or not he’d be able to discuss them with his heartache being apparent.

“Logan?” She raised her head and met his
gaze. Her hand caressed one side of his
face,
her
thumb traced the outline of his lips. “I know how you feel, and we don’t need
to talk about them tonight because I just want to sleep in your arms all
night.”

With a nod, Logan moved from the bed and
stripped Emma down to her panties and bra, while trying to keep his aroused
state from her. Emma kept her eyes closed, so he needn’t have bothered keeping
it hidden.

Once she looked more comfortable, Logan undressed,
but kept his briefs on so his arousal wouldn’t poke her in the ass, because, as
he climbed under the covers with her, he pulled her close.