A Son of Carver (Carver High #2) (23 page)

I smile at her. It is exciting being on this side of the race too. A mass text went out to the people on the list notifying them where the race was gonna be since no one knows, not even Nash, until the scouts decide.

“I can’t believe I had no idea any of this existed until I met Nash,” she says brightly. “I bet he’s really good at it too?”

“He won his race last week, so I guess?” Summer says, looking to me like I’m the authority.

“Last week he was ranked number two and his dad was number one. I’m not sure how it changes week by week but Nick didn’t race last week so he might be number one now. Not sure.”

“That’s his dad, right?”

“Yes,” Summer tells her and I can’t help that I feel a little superior because Hannah’s not even sure who his dad is.

“And he races too?”

“Yeah, and Nate, his older brother, right?” she looks at me again.

I laugh. “Why do you keep asking me? I’m sure you know more about it than I do,” I say, guessing she’s just trying to include me in the conversations also.

She shrugs her shoulders. “Not really. He never really talks about it. Racing is
his thing
and I think he likes to keep it that way.”

That’s true. The only reason I know so much is because I was forced to be let into the inner circle last week. “Yeah, Nate races too but his car’s still not ready so he won’t be tonight.”

Nick texted me on Thursday which was so damn cute.
He
wanted to know if I was going to be part of their crew again. I avoided the question but we ended up texting for twenty minutes so I know that there will be seven individual races tonight and that Nick will be competing but Nate won’t.

“So, are you really close with them?” Hannah asks, no hint of jealousy in her voice. Not that a girl like her would ever think to be jealous of a girl like me.

“Not really. I mean, I just met them for the first time last Saturday.” Which seems totally impossible considering how close I feel to Nash’s family – especially Nick.

“Really? Hmm. When I was at their house with you it seemed like you guys had known each other forever.”

“Nope,” I tell her.

Summer laughs. “Nash’s dad has a thing for Presley. Nash thinks he’s in love.”

“Gross, Summer.”

“Not like that. Like the daughter he never had or something.”

I smile at that. I feel the same way about him.

“He scared the hell out of me,” Hannah says with a laugh. “I think he was offended because I wouldn’t have a beer with him?”

“He takes a little getting used to but you’ll love him once you get to know him.” I cringe internally at the idea of her having a relationship with Nick like I do.

“I’m just afraid he won’t like me. Nash and I are so different in so many ways I’m just worried it could be an issue down the road at some point, you know?” she says, glancing at both me and Summer. Her long term plans irk me slightly but I know they shouldn’t.

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Summer says with a tight smile.

“No? I hope not. It’s just, I really like him,” she says with a huge smile on her face. “He’s not like any guy I’ve ever met and he just makes me feel so… excited. Like, I literally can’t wait to see him again tonight.”

“I knew you guys would hit it off,” Summer says but her words sound apprehensive. With the stupid crap I spewed I’m sure she thinks I have feelings for him and is trying to protect me. Which,
fine
, I do have feelings for him and being with his girl is making it that much more obvious.

“I wasn’t sure after that first date, and then the fact that he didn’t text me for over a month didn’t help at all.”

“I maybe pushed him into it that first time,” Summer says. “I don’t think he was ready to date. But I’m glad things turned out better on Tuesday.”

“Much better,” she says with an excited grin. “He made me feel like… I don’t know… a woman. Which sounds so stupid, I know,” she looks back at me apologetically. “I’ve never blushed so much in my life. That boy knows how to give a compliment.” She giggles and I want to stab myself in the heart for so many reasons. The fact that I once believed I was the only one getting his little complimentary speeches and that I believed he was sincere are just two of them.

“And oh my god, don’t even get me started on the kiss he gave me. Holy crap. It’s about all I’ve been able to think about.”

“Great,” Summer says with too much enthusiasm, leaning forward to turn the radio up.

My jealousy is quickly overcome by amusement. I know exactly why Summer’s squirming at that. I’m the only one in this car who hasn’t had the pleasure of kissing Nash Carter.

By the time we
finally
get to the road where the race is taking place I’m ready to pull my hair out. I love Summer, but there’s only so much of her chipper attitude I can take and I just spent an hour trapped in a car with two of her.

But I have to admit that I like Hannah. She’s smart and down to earth and enthusiastic… about everything. I don’t know if I can see her with Nash but she would be good for him.

We walk up to the action and Hannah is practically bouncing, she’s so excited. We make it to the front of the crowd and when Hannah spots Nash and tries to go to him, Summer holds her back and tells her, “We’re not allowed up there.”

“Oh,” she says, disappointed and settles on waving at him, but he can’t see her. I mean, he could if he wanted to, but he’s too distracted.

I watch as the guys go through all the motions they went through last week – checking over the cars, which there are two of now that Nick is racing, gathering by the starting line to figure out the races and how much money will be bet and then breaking off into two large groups as they work together prepping whatever driver and car are up next. Hannah’s got a million questions and I answer them all as best I can but I’m not really paying attention to her.

I’m paying attention to Nash. Nash, who seems way more uptight and nervous than he did last week. Nash, who’s body I want to hug or just stand by in order to try to take some of his anxiety away. Nash, whose face is so serious and who’s muscular body is so tense. Nash who looks so unbelievably gorgeous I wonder why I couldn’t see it before.

I lose sight of him when the first race starts. The crowd shifts to the sides of the road and Nash is somewhere in the mass of guys in the middle. I know what car to cheer for based on where Nash’s crowd, most of whom I now recognize, is standing. And for the first five races I get caught up in the excitement and manage to enjoy the pure rush of adrenaline.

When I see the guys gathered around Nash’s car, I start to worry and Hannah’s constant questions are grading on my nerves. Nick makes eye contact with me and gives me a big smile and a thumbs up. I try my best to smile back at him. I focus my camera on him and snap pictures to distract myself. The lighting is so bad from this distance I’m cursing myself for not getting my pictures when he let me be with him.

By the time Nash is in his car at the starting line it feels like there is a stone in my gut. I reach over and grab onto Summer’s arm and she grabs onto me just as hard. “It’s gonna be fine,” she whispers.

The light flashes, the cars take off and it seems like a clean start – no out of control cars this time. But it’s a lot tighter, the cars seem way too close considering how fast they’re going. I hold my breath until the taillights disappear and then turn my focus to where Nash’s crowd is gathered. When they all start cheering and yelling I let out a breath of relief and smile hugely when I see Nash’s car driving back down the road.

I put my camera up to my eye and zoom in as far as I can, focusing on the driver’s side door where Nash will emerge from. He steps out and Nate is there to hug him, I take a picture and realize Nick isn’t there and then remember he’s racing tonight. I continue to snap pictures as Nash accepts his congratulatory hugs and slaps. I’m still focused on him when he turns his attention to the crowd. He finds me in it and gives me a sad smile. My hands freeze, my breath stops. And then his gaze shifts slightly to my right where Hannah is and he smiles hugely and winks.

“Oh my god, he’s so hot,” she squeals, grabbing onto my shoulder and shaking me.

I pull my hoodie up over my head and hold my camera in front of my face again, trying to disappear behind the lens. I find Nick and focus as he climbs into his car that looks way more badass than Nash’s. I need to remember to tell him that next time I see him. Which I’m assuming won’t be at the after party at his house. My stomach knots back up as his car creeps forward to the starting line.

From what I gather, Nate is the one who can shit talk the confidence out of his opponents before the race even starts. Nash is the reckless one who will take unnecessary chances to win a race. But Nick is the technical one with the most skill so I hold onto that fact and try to calm my nerves.

The cars are lined up and I hold my breath. The light flashes and immediately the driver in the left lane starts fishtailing like Mr. Clean did when he raced against Nash. I close my eyes, just like I did before but this time when I open them, the car has only lost more control, shifting back and forth like a jack knife and Nick hasn’t gotten around him.

I watch in horror as Nick’s tail end gets clipped and he starts spinning around in circles, the other car impossibly close to him. They collide again and Nick’s car flies up into the air, landing on its side and tumbling in circles and off the road.

I can hear the screaming and panicking but from a distance. The ringing in my own head is too loud. I’m running on instinct. Off the grass, to the road, through the people that are in my way. And then I stop. It’s chaos. I can’t comprehend what’s going on. There’s smoke and yelling and the car is surrounded. And then finally, I see Nash and Nate pulling their dad out of the crowd and laying him on the road.
Oh my god.

One of the guys walks towards those of us who have gathered and starts yelling, “Get the fuck out of here. Go. Go. The cops are gonna be here. Get the fuck out.”

There’s no way I’m leaving. In fact, I’m slowly walking towards Nick. I can’t look at him. I can’t look at his unmoving body or the blood on his head. I focus on Nash. On the fear and pain on his face. On the sheer panic. Oh my god. What’s going on? What the hell just happened?

When I reach the perimeter where guys from their crew are standing, pacing and swearing, one of them tells me, “You gotta get out of here, Presley.”

“No,” I whisper. “I’m not leaving.”

I take two more steps and then I drop to my knees, not able to stand anymore. I close my eyes and start praying.
He can’t be hurt. Oh god, don’t let him be hurt. He can’t… die. Nash needs him. Nate needs him. He’s all they have. You can’t take them away from each other. You can’t hurt Nash like that. You can’t do that to him.

I open my eyes and Nash is staring at me. The fear on his face breaks my heart in two. I want so badly to take it away. His nostrils flare, his eyes close for a second, and then he turns his focus back on Nick.

It feels like time’s stopped and the world around me is warped. I lose sight of everything but the Carter boys.

Finally an ambulance shows up and the EMT’s make everyone back away. I stand and realize both Hannah and Summer are by my side. We all watch Nash as he backs away from his dad and looks on with the rest of us and Nick gets put on a stretcher and into the ambulance. He and Nate start walking back to their dad when Nash suddenly pauses and looks at us.

I feel his eyes on me for a second, the fear in them crushing me. He takes four big steps towards us and wraps Summer up in his arms. And at that moment he breaks. He starts crying loud ugly tears, holding her so hard I can feel the crush of his arms as I stand next to them feeling helpless. He lets her go and turns back to the ambulance, stepping in with his brother, and then they’re gone.

“He’s going to be okay,” the nurse tells me, coming over to the chair I’m sitting in, have been sitting in for hours, and gives me a reassuring pat on my shoulder.

“I know,” I tell her, raising my head from where it was resting in my hands.

“You boys need to keep him out of that car though.”

“Sure,” I tell her. I highly doubt that’s ever gonna happen. Maybe he won’t be able to bring his Mustang back to life, but it’s gonna take more than this to keep him off the road.

She gives me a concerned smile. “You should go home and get some rest. We’ll take care of him.”

“I’m good right here, but thanks.”

“Alright. I’ll bring you a pillow and blanket on my next round.”

I smile at the older woman. Ladies like her have always been in my life. Nothing brings out motherly instincts like a man raising two boys on his own. But we’re just fine on our own. The three of us are fine on our own. “Thanks,” I say, needing her to go.
Now
. Because I feel another melt down coming on. She turns and goes, thank god.

My dad is fine. I mean, he’s got a concussion, some lacerations, a strained back and shoulder and whiplash – but nothing he can’t recover from. That’s not what’s making me lose my mind. It’s seeing him like that – bloodied and unconscious. Watching his car rollover and imagining he’s dead.

It only takes seconds to change your perspective on everything. It’s crazy how many thoughts can explode out of your head and latch on, even though you’re running and it’s chaos and you’re trying to get a goddamn door open and undo a buckle. And you have to feel a lifeless body. You have to check to make sure
your dad
is breathing and has a pulse.

Everything changed in those moments.

What if he’s dead? What would that mean? I would be parentless. There would be no constant in my life. No one to keep me in line and make sure I’m living up to the Carter name. No one to look up to or make proud. No best friend. No rock. No hero. Just me and Nate and without my dad, how long would we tolerate each other for?

How long would it be before one of us, or both of us, could no longer stand living in his house and would have to move out? And then I’d be left with nothing. No home. No family. The kid that’s always been by my side could slowly drift away. I’m eighteen, he wouldn’t need to stick around to help me out or take care of me.

And would we be able to stomach anything we did with Dad? Would we work on cars? Would we eat at Eddie’s? Would we spend Sunday’s watching football or car shows? Could I even fucking drink another Budweiser ever?

And if my family was gone, who would be there for me? Who would I want to be there for me? For the first time I really understood what I lost when I lost Brandon and Tatum. They were like my family, through my whole god damn childhood, they were like my family. But I threw that shit away and what am I left with?

As all these crazy thoughts were spinning through my head I looked over and saw Hannah, Presley and Summer standing there.

Would I meet someone new? Would I just say fuck it, leave my entire life behind and start over with someone like Hannah? Someone who doesn’t know me, someone who never knew him?

Or would I keep torturing myself waiting for the person that I really want, the one who might never love me the way I love her. Because I love Presley. I don’t know what kind of love it is exactly, but it’s there. Would I take whatever I could get from the girl who makes rejecting me a regular habit?

When I looked at Summer I knew she was what I needed. Someone that knew me, someone that understood me, someone who was always there for me and gave without expecting anything in return. Someone that I could trust and who would have my back always. At that moment I needed a sure thing. I needed a friend, a real one who cares about my happiness more than she cares about her own.

So I went to her and I broke the fuck down. I needed her. At that moment, she was all I had.

And I’m so relieved that I don’t have to think about it anymore because my dad is fine and Nate isn’t going anywhere and at the moment I still have choices. There’s still time to find people in this world who were meant for me and who won’t leave me.

I still have time to build things that are gonna last.

“Jesus Christ, kid, you gotta turn your damn phone back on,” Nate says, coming into the room, handing me a Mountain Dew then sprawling out in the chair next to me. “I’m not your damn secretary and why the hell do your friends have my cell anyways? Jesus, that Hannah girl, you gotta cut that one loose. Crying her ass off like her world just ended – what’d she meet dad for like two minutes?
Fuck
.”

“I’m not in the mood to rehash this shit every five minutes.”

“And I am? Don’t you have like Facebook or some shit? Can’t you just put a post up, or whatever the hell you do on there, telling the world Nick Carter’s gonna live?”

“No. I don’t have Facebook and if it’s bothering you so much then turn your damn phone off.”

He lets out a long breath and lays back in his chair. “He didn’t die, Nash. He’s a little banged up – that’s all. You gotta stop being such a drama queen.”

“What the hell are you boys arguing about?” my dad asks from the bed where he’s
supposed
to be sleeping. “Christ, I thought coming to the hospital would give me some damn peace and quiet.”

I stand and go to him, not sure what to do when I get there, so I just look at him, my hands stuffed in my pockets. “What?” he asks me.

“I don’t know. Are you… okay?”

“What the hell, Son? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s with that look on your face?”

“He’s being all goofy ‘cause he thought you were gonna die. Can you assure him his daddy’s gonna be okay so he can stop with the wounded act.”

My dad smiles at me. “Zip it, Nate. At least he cares. I appreciate it Son, but I promise you I’m okay. What’d the doctor say? I’ll be going home tomorrow?”

“Yeah, probably… depending on your head.”

“Well shit, if that’s the case, I might be stuck here forever,” he says, laughing… then coughing… then wincing…then holding his neck… then his shoulder. Idiot doesn’t even realize he’s hurt, I swear to god.

“If you think you’re gonna come home and pretend like this never happened you’re crazy. Are you gonna be able to sit on your ass and do nothing for a couple of weeks? ‘Cause I don’t want to be stuck with a stubborn toddler who’s too proud to admit he got hurt and needs to heal.”

Nate’s over in the corner laughing which means he’s gonna be no help. He’s gonna think Dad’s fine the minute he walks out of this hospital too. I’m gonna have two toddlers on my hands.

“No one needs to be sitting around for two weeks. Nate’s right – you’re being a drama queen. Now go home – both of you. I want to enjoy my peace and quiet before I have to go home to the two of you.”

Nate stands, comes over and grabs my dad’s shoulder and says, “Take it easy old man. We’ll see you tomorrow,” then leaves the room.

“Don’t you think one of us should stay?” I ask, not particularly wanting to go home. Or leave him.

“What for? It’s not like something’s gonna happen to me overnight. Really, Nash, I want you to go home and get some rest.”

I let out an annoyed breath and tell him, “Fine. I’ll see you in the morning,” before turning around.

“Hey,” he says, calling me back to him. I turn and walk to his side. He reaches out his good arm and grabs a hold of my wrist. “I appreciate it. You’ve always been tender hearted and I appreciate you caring about me. To tell you the truth, tonight was scary as hell. All I could think about were my boys and how much I love you guys. Something like that knocks some sense into a man, you know?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. I totally get it.

“I know I always gotta be the tough guy and I’m not one for sitting around on my ass, but I’ll let you take over for a few weeks – even listen to everything you tell me to do. Because that’s what we do – we take care of each other. Always.”

I close my eyes, and nod my head. It’s all I can do because my emotions are, once again, overwhelming.

My dad’s best friend, Kristopher, brings us home and I’m not surprised that the troops have rallied. There’s a dozen cars parked out back because everyone’s gathered together to support us and each other. It’s not very often that accidents like this happen, but they do and it shakes everyone up pretty bad.

“You not coming out?” Kristopher asks, as I head in the opposite direction of the pole barn.

“Maybe in a little while. I think I’ll just head inside for now.” Hanging out with them would probably be good for me, but I need a minute to get my head straightened out.

“Do what you gotta do, I know it was scary seeing your dad like that.”

“Yep,” I tell him, not wanting to talk about it.

I head inside the house and think about grabbing a beer but instead head to my room. I strip down to my boxer briefs and fall onto my bed, welcoming the darkness and silence.

Eventually, I pull my phone out and turn it on. Nate wasn’t kidding, I have too many texts and missed calls to count. About half of them are from Hannah. I open one up, reading it:

Please call me Nash. I’m so worried about you and your dad and I have to know you’re alright. It was so awful watching that accident, I can’t stop crying. Please call me.

She’s also included three crying face emojis and three different colored hearts. She’s sweet but it would have been a stretch trying to make something work with her.

He’s fine… just some bumps and bruises

I’ll give you a call after things are back to normal around here

I quickly scroll through the rest just to see who they’re from. Mostly it’s the guys from the football team and the cheerleaders. I’m surprised to see one from Tatum…

I heard about what happened to Nick and I’m only saying this because I know he’s fine but I told you. You 3 need to knock that shit off. Seriously. I’m not sending flowers but I’ll bring by some food from the restaurant next week

I smile at my phone. Every once in a while I miss her harpy ass.

I can’t respond to all these texts so I open up the only one from Summer knowing that if I ask her to do it for me, she will.

I’m so glad Nick’s okay. That whole thing was crazy and scary and I didn’t like it at all. We’re gonna have a chat about your hobbies at a later date. I’m doing as much damage control as I can – thank god someone from your family is actually answering my calls and keeping me updated. I think I’ve talked to or texted just about everyone I’ve ever met to let them know he’s okay. And I’m consoling Hannah as we speak…. You’re welcome. Text or call me and let me know you’re alright. I’m worried about you.

I appreciate it… everything. I’m home from the hospital and gonna try and get some rest but I’ll call you sometime tomorrow. I’m fine. Tonight was fucked up but I’m fine

The beeps are already starting up again- replies from Summer, or more likely, Hannah- so I turn my phone back off and close my eyes.

There was nothing from Presley. Why was there nothing from Presley?

This week I tried to let go of as much of her as I could because it’s just becoming blatantly clear that I care about her too much and she only sees me as a friend.  And maybe that’s all it took for her to bow out of my life. Which sucks because the damn thoughts. The thoughts about my future. The thoughts about who I want by my side. Why did that damn kiss with Summer have to be so damn awkward?

“Nash?” someone suddenly whispers from my doorway.

“Yeah?” I mumble.

“Can I come in for a minute?”

Presley.
Presley’s in my house. In my room.

“Sure,” I tell her, sitting up and moving back ‘till my back’s against the wall. She steps into my room and takes a seat at the end of my bed. “What are you doing here?”

“Jessie and Kent brought me here with them…I hope that’s okay… I just… I didn’t want to leave and I couldn’t get back in that car and Hannah was hysterical and I was… lost… in my head and after everyone was gone it was just me and some of your crew and so… they let me come here with them. I just… I didn’t know where to go. I just wanted to be here. I’m sorry. I’m blabbering again. This is not what you need right now. I was just so worried about him because I love him and I know that doesn’t make any sense because I met him a week ago but I love him and seeing that happen to him.
And you
… the look on your face… the pain in your eyes. I needed to see that you were okay. I just needed to be as close to the two of you as I possibly could. So I came here. I’m sorry. I should go. I was just waiting to see if you’re okay.”