A Son's Vow (4 page)

Then he turned away, taking a moment to give thanks that the Lord had put her in his life. Without Hope, he would feel only frustration and guilt and anger. All of the things that reminded him of how he was failing his father.

Years ago, he'd promised his father to always look after his siblings and his
mamm
. Aaron had also vowed to stand behind his father and do everything he could to help him.

But of course, with the accident and fire, he'd failed.

Walking back to the mill, Aaron didn't see the tulips and daffodils that decorated the merchants' front porches in a riot of color. Instead, all he saw was his father on the floor of the warehouse, writhing in pain. Burned and dying.

Instead of the warmth infusing the spring day, he felt hands barring him from his father's side.

Instead of the sounds of
kinner
laughing, he heard shrill sirens as fire truck after fire truck raced toward the mill.

When Aaron wasn't surrounded by the goodness that was Hope Mast, all he felt was the bitter desolation of failing his father. He needed Hope in his life. He needed a future with her, a future away from the mill. He wanted to farm their fields during the day and watch her smile in the evening.

With her, he still was a person to be proud of. With everyone else, he felt out of control. For some reason, he simply couldn't
help but take out his frustrations on Darla. He couldn't seem to stop yelling at the twins or ignoring his little sisters.

He'd even given up trying to hide his anger and pain at work.

Even now, by the time he walked through the main doors of Kinsinger Lumber and made his way to the break room, the anger that burned inside him constantly had lit itself once again.

As he punched his time card, one of the men standing by the coffeemaker looked at him curiously. “You left, Aaron? Where did you go?”

“That ain't none of your business.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry. I guess it ain't.”

Aaron felt his shoulders tense at the words, at how harsh he had sounded. His cheeks burned with shame. His father would be so disappointed in him now.

But it was too late to take back the sharp words. Instead, he turned away and headed toward the back of the warehouse. Realizing, as he did so, that his transformation was complete. Without Hope by his side, he was practically another person. A man she would hardly recognize.

March 25

F
ive days had passed since Lukas had visited Darla at the post office and said too many things he regretted. Every time Lukas thought about the words they'd exchanged and the tension that now existed between them, he felt both lost and hopeless. There was little that could be done to smooth things out, but he would've liked nothing better than to repair their relationship. Lukas was missing his father's guidance more than ever.

And maybe it was because he could hardly think about anything else, but for whatever the reason, Darla seemed to be suddenly everywhere.

For the first time in three months, he caught sight of her as he was walking through Charm. He'd been so taken aback that he'd simply stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, blocking everyone's way, and watched her approach. When she'd surprised him further by smiling softly, he hadn't responded. Instead, like
a fool, he'd gaped at her. He could have sworn that she'd giggled at his expression.

Seconds later, when he'd finally broken out of his self-imposed daze, she was far enough past him that it would've created quite a stir if he'd hustled after her. Because of that, he'd simply gone about his day. But that didn't mean he hadn't wondered what had brought about the change in her.

Two days later, he was face-to-face with her again. This time they'd been sitting on opposite sides of the church, the men and women facing each other like always. He'd been more than a little shocked when Hope Mast's father had announced that she'd recently become engaged to Aaron Kurtz.

Hope and Aaron had been seeing each other forever, so Lukas supposed that their engagement shouldn't have been a surprise. But he'd certainly thought the timing couldn't have been worse.

Later, when he was told that Aaron intended to move to the Masts' farm, Lukas had felt even more dismayed. He knew for a fact that Darla depended on her brother around their small farm. Lukas didn't know how Aaron was going to be able to tend to the needs of a new wife, work at the mill, and look after his siblings—all at the same time.

Why, Lukas himself could barely keep up with things, and he had Levi and his two sisters all helping out as much as they could. How was Darla going to handle her five other siblings on her own?

Then, of course, there was her job and dealing with people like Mary Troyer. He had to guess that she was as taken aback by Aaron's engagement as he was. Was she handling it okay?

After the announcement in church, he'd gotten his answer
when he'd scanned the crowd and saw Darla's face. She was smiling, but her expression was strained. Worry clouded her eyes.

And because he knew how things worked in her family, he had a pretty good idea that Aaron hadn't consulted Darla before he proposed. Most likely, he didn't care about her thoughts on the subject. Though Darla had no doubt been happy for her brother and Hope, Lukas was fairly sure she was losing sleep over how to keep her family functioning and the farm going. Darla was trying to figure out things on her own.

Just like she always had.

Lukas had never been more distressed about the lingering rift between them. He couldn't help but dwell on the situation as he ate breakfast.

Without complaint, Amelia always fixed a large breakfast for the four of them. She got up before dawn, milked Angel, gathered eggs, and made a feast. She was a good cook and had been blessed with the sweetest temperament of them all. Their parents had doted on her, and now he, Levi, and Rebecca did, too. She was the kind of girl who needed someone looking after her.

But instead of letting the rest of them take care of her needs, she seemed determined to mother the three of them. “What's on your mind this morning,
bruder
?” she asked as she placed a large platter of scrambled eggs and bacon in the middle of the table. Already there was a bowl of chopped fruit and some kind of blueberry coffee cake that she'd made early that morning.

“Only your fine meal, Amelia,” he teased.

After filling his coffee cup, she rolled her eyes. “You say things like that every morning. It ain't necessary.”

“Of course it is. You are a fine cook and you get before dawn
to prepare our meal. We all appreciate it. I don't want you to ever forget that.”

Her eyes—sometimes blue, sometimes silver, but always so striking against her pale skin and white-blond hair—lit up. “It's the least I can do. You, Rebecca, and Levi work at the mill.”

“While we are there, you take care of everything here. Believe me, I know that's a lot,” he said as he piled his plate high with eggs and bacon.

“It's not too much. I'm a grown woman.”

“It's not that I don't think you can handle everything. I just don't want you to ever feel that I don't appreciate you. I do.”

As was her way, she pushed aside his compliment again. “Before Becky and Levi come down, tell me what's put the line of worry between your eyes.”

Fork in the air, he paused. “It's that noticeable?”

“It is to me.” After pouring herself a cup of coffee, too, she sat down next to him, her pale yellow dress and apron falling softly around her.

As he debated whether to share his burden, Lukas couldn't help but notice that she looked pretty. She'd been a pretty baby, and her beauty had only grown stronger with every year that passed. But more important, her sweet nature matched her angelic looks. She was everything lovely, and growing up, Lukas had heard his parents comment at least once a week that she was their precious angel.

One might have thought her beauty, combined with their parents' obvious adoration, might have spurred some jealousy toward her, but in truth, none of them—not even Rebecca—felt that way. Mainly because the Lord had not only given Amelia
beauty and sweetness, He'd also made her a bit timid. It had made all of them want to look after her, sometimes even a little too diligently.

Now that she was in her early twenties, many men in Charm had taken notice. Levi and he had already been approached by several of the men in the area, asking for permission to court her when their period of mourning was over. Lukas had decided immediately that he didn't care one bit for the look in some of the men's eyes when they spoke of Amelia. He'd even had to glare at some of his friends when they'd asked.

Lukas had told Levi that he now had a better understanding of what their father must have gone through when he'd been raising his two daughters.

Luckily, when Amelia heard about those conversations, she'd calmly informed him and Levi that she did not need their permission to have a beau.

“Lukas? Lukas!” Amelia called again, her voice turning sharp. “Stop daydreaming and talk to me.”

“Sorry.” Bracing himself, he said, “It just happens to be Darla who is on my mind.”

She tilted her head to one side. “What about her?”

“Well, we've grown apart since the accident, you know,” he said slowly.

“To be sure.”

He shrugged. He hated that he had so many feelings for Darla, none of which was easy for him to describe. But instead of attempting some convoluted explanation about how he felt, he stuck to the simplest one. “I guess I miss her.”

“Of course you do. You used to see her almost every day.”

Hearing Amelia's matter-of-fact acceptance made him bolder.
“I went to the post office a couple of days ago and told her I wanted to stop by her
haus
one evening and pay her a visit.”

Her brow wrinkled. “I don't recall you talking about that.”

“Probably because I didn't talk about it.”

“Okay. Well, how was she?” Her voice darkened. “How was Aaron? And what about their
mamm
? Has she returned yet? Do they have any idea where she took off to?”

“I can't answer any of those questions.”

“Because?”

“Because I never went over.”

“Why not?”

“Darla told me she didn't want me to.”

“That's too bad.” Amelia forked a bite of coffee cake. “Why didn't she?”

“I'm not sure.” Remembering the conversation, he said slowly, “I know she's still grieving.”

“We all are.”

“
Jah
, but she's also hurting because of all the rumors.” Shaking his head, he said, “Darla mentioned that there might be questions about the mill's practices. Like Daed and me or the other supervisors should have been more diligent about everyone's safety.” After taking another bite of eggs, he said, “If you want to know the truth, I think she was quoting Aaron.”

Pushing her plate away, Amelia leaned back in her chair, propping one bare foot on the seat of the facing chair. “I don't want to be mean, but I canna say that I am surprised. The way he's been scowling at most everyone and anyone . . . he'd scare off snakes in his fields.”

Lukas couldn't help but grin at the comment. “You might be right about that. He has been mighty upset with the world.”

“Which makes me wonder why Hope Mast said yes to him. When I told Aaron congratulations after church, the look he gave me was lethal.”

Indignation hit him, heavy and hard. “He had no call to be mean to you.”

“Settle down,
bruder
. Aaron merely glared, and I can handle that. I could even handle him saying something mean. I'm tougher than I look.”

“You shouldn't have to be. It's my job to look after you.” He knew he sounded a bit overprotective, but he couldn't help himself. She was his little sister and their parents were gone. Their
mamm
had passed away from a heart condition. Now, with Daed gone, too, someone needed to make sure she was taken care of.

As was her way, she ignored his concerns. Glancing toward the stairs, Amelia leaned closer. “You know as well as I do that Aaron has always taken advantage of Darla. Furthermore, he works for ya, now. He should be respectful to her.”

“I don't know if I should mention that to him.”

“It doesn't matter. You are his boss. That's a fact. Just as it's a fact that Aaron has always treated Darla shabbily.”

“You've thought that?” He was kind of shocked. Amelia was so kindhearted that he and Rebecca often teased her, saying she was far too sweet to be a Kinsinger.

“Of course. Who wouldn't think that?” she retorted. “You and I both know he's lazy.”

Lukas set down his fork before he took a bite and choked. “You think Aaron's lazy?”

“To be sure. He was lazy in school, and more than once I
heard him bully Darla into doing his work.” Her voice hardened. “And now he's marrying that Hope Mast. Part of me feels like I should talk to that girl and try to figure out why she said yes. She's going to need to go into that marriage with her eyes wide open.”

“Please do not. Aaron doesn't have anything good to say about our family as it is.”

“Since when do you pay any mind to what Aaron Kurtz thinks?”

“That's kind of bold!”

“Lukas, you shouldn't worry so much about offending Aaron. It ain't like he is suddenly going to become nice if we don't say anything.”

“Oh, I am so glad you are talking about Darla and Aaron Kurtz.” Rebecca's voice floated down the hall. “Did either of you spy her expression when the preacher announced the engagement?”

“I did,” Lukas said. “She looked upset.”

“She looked more than that,” Amelia interjected. “She looked like she was about to break in two, poor girl.”

“I thought the same thing,” Rebecca said as she walked directly to the coffeepot and poured herself a generous cup. After taking a fortifying sip—she'd never cared for milk or sugar—she sat across from Lukas and reached for the blueberry cake. “It broke my heart, it did.”

“I am starting to worry about Darla,” Lukas finally said.

“It's no wonder. She has all the burdens of that family on her tiny shoulders,” Rebecca added. “I imagine it's a heavy load, too.”

Amelia shook her head. “Becky. That ain't kind.”

“I'm not being unkind, merely stating the facts. Darla is a tiny thing. I often feel like a giant next to her. I can't imagine how you feel, Lukas.”

Since he'd always felt like she needed him, needed someone to lift her burdens and look after her, he said nothing. There were some things brothers didn't tell their sisters unless they wanted to be made fun of.

After Rebecca stood up and refilled her cup—she drank coffee like it was a food group—she looked at Lukas curiously. “So, what are you going to do about Darla?”

“Nothing.”

“That's the wrong answer. You need to reach out.”

“He did. She didn't want his help,” Amelia said.

“It's true. I did. She told me that we needed to stay apart.”

Rebecca carefully cut a small portion of her coffee cake and speared it with her fork. “Lukas, do you remember when we were nine and went hiking with Darla and Aaron?”

They'd always run around together. Actually, he had so many memories laced with Darla that he could hardly recall moments in his childhood when she hadn't been present. “We hiked all the time. Are you referring to a specific instance, Beck?”

“When we were near that creek.”

“I remember that,” Levi interjected as he joined them, pulling the juice out of the refrigerator. “Aaron had crossed right away. So had Becky and me.”

“I was trying to go across,” Amelia said. “But it was kinda deep.”

“You were too small,” Levi said. “I met you halfway and held your hand.”

“Even though you were younger, you were bigger,” Amelia said with a grin.

“And even back then Daed would have whipped me good if I hadn't kept you safe.” Levi chuckled. “I learned by the time I was five or six to always look out for you.” He held up a hand. “And before you go apologizing for that, stop. I didn't mind.”