A Step to Nowhere (31 page)
“Yes,” Jason said, and turned off the internal connection. He and Vlad had watched the area around the corporation the whole morning, following Bristow’s orders. His daughter’s orders to be precise. Bristow personally contacted him and told him to listen to her every word. Samantha Bristow’s copy ran away again and this time her tracks had gotten lost. Who helped her? Hlifian? Why would they care about her? Jason was slapped down by last night’s conversation with his wife. He was called in the morning and he didn’t have time to exchange a couple of phrases with her and now he felt the need to see her, become clear with her and not chase the woman from another dimension.
“What? Found her?” Vlad asked, twisting an empty tube of pasta with tomatoes and pepper. Jason hated this sour - sweet aroma and now the car would reek of it for hours. Vlad ate, nonstop and they didn’t share the same taste.
“I think so,” Jason said. “He ordered us to go inside the corporation.”
Vlad nodded and stuck the twisted tube into the trash hole on the door. Jason was behind the wheel, but he didn’t start driving. He parked on the side of the road after receiving the call and didn’t move now.
Everything seemed wrong. He didn’t want to chase that woman again, he didn’t want to arrest her, and he especially didn’t want to bring her to onis. He couldn’t think of her as a spy. He thought about her as if she was his sister. This strange feeling, as if he had known her for a long time, didn’t pass, but just the opposite – it was getting stronger. He broke the law twice because of her and he didn’t want to think about it, but couldn’t stop. He let her go when he should have arrested her. That absurd wig she was wearing couldn’t fool him, but he didn’t stop her and didn’t know why. At that moment it was an instinct, now he knew she was innocent. He didn’t have proof, of course, but she wasn’t a spy. She was a victim of Bristow’s regime, his deceptions. She didn’t deserve it. She needed to go back to her planet. She needed to forget where she had been and what had happened to her like a scary dream. She needed to continue her life that somebody had tried to end. Samantha Bristow, self proclaimed queen. Her father, who had killed hundreds of people.
He
deserved death and not this woman. On the other hand …
On the other hand he had taken an oath. He must follow orders and Bristow was his boss. He was a Bristow’s dog. The police force was also under Bristow’s command. Somebody would say it wasn’t possible. He was just a lottery owner. But on this planet—everything was possible and more. Again, who was going to say it? Who would dare to open his mouth against the Bristows? No one. No one wanted to get into onis
and once there, it was pretty much possible to stop worrying about the future because there would be none.
“Jason!”
He shuddered. He heard Vlad calling him, but his voice didn’t touch his consciousness. It sounded from somewhere behind the mountains.
“Yes, Vlad.”
“Are we going? Are we waiting for someone?”
“I took my oath and I must follow all orders or I’ll be sued,” Jason said. He wanted to start the car, but discovered that he was still holding an empty food tube in his hand. He was snacking with Vlad, but had sweet sheky with raisins. Jason stuck his tube in the narrow, overflowing trash hole and started the engine.
“Orders are orders,” he said.
Jason didn’t have to turn to Vlad to understand the way his partner was looking at him. Suspiciously. He was right. Jason needed to be suspected. He had a dilemma: his oath and his duty competed with his heart. With his desire to save an innocent person. Also Emma. Who could think that she was playing on the other side?
“This Samantha Bristow is too much trouble,” Vlad said. Jason could feel his glare and thought about disobeying his orders. Would Vlad report on him? Or not? If he did, Jason would be tried by a tribunal and his family automatically considered a threat to the government. It meant that his wife and his sons could go to onis because of him. If they learned that Emma was connected to Hlifian … they all were going to be killed. Samantha Bristow was too much trouble, Vlad said.
“Which one?” Jason asked thoughtfully.
“What do you mean?” Vlad asked. “Of course the irnaner
.
The woman from Planet Two. That spy.”
“Yes, yes, I understand,” Jason said, as he thought about his family, then about Vlad. He wanted to know what his partner and friend had on his mind. What could he expect from him? How should he talk to him? Why couldn’t they feel comfortable with each other? He had known this person for ten years, not less. Why? “For how long have we known each other?”
“What?” Vlad said.
“I’d like to know how far our friendship is going,” Jason added as he turned to Vlad for a second. His friend thought it over.
“I think nine years. You weren’t married yet at that time, just like me. I was dating Ellyn. Why?”
“No reason.” Jason allowed himself to smile. “I was just thinking that we know each other inside out. We’ve spent tons of hours with each other. I spend more time with you than with my wife.”
And I still don’t trust you.
“Yes, yes,” Vlad nodded with enthusiasm. “I see you more often that my own kids!”
“What do you think about that woman? Samantha Bristow’s double?” Jason didn’t want to see his friend’s facial expression; instead, he concentrated on the road.
“What can I think about her?” Vlad answered the question with a question. “Just that we have to follow the order and bring her where we’re supposed to bring her. What about you?”
“Yes, that’s right, but do you think … Do you think she’s the first from Planet Two who’s been here? Do you think that people from Planet Two should be sent to
onis
? Maybe they should go home? Do you think she’s a criminal?”
There was no answer from Vlad and Jason glanced at him to see that he was looking out the window.
“Do you doubt the information you’ve received?” Vlad finally asked. “Do you doubt that she came to our planet to spy on us?”
Now it was Jason’s turn to fall quiet. What should he answer? Should he tell the truth and put himself and his family at risk? If Vlad decided to report on him, here was reason enough already.
Jason didn’t even have to break the law. Should he ask his partner straight? No. Vlad wasn’t one who could possibly join the protesters. He was one who did everything by the rules. This woman infiltrated the lottery building. Could Vlad doubt her culpability? Could he do it? What goal did she have? Why did she come to this planet? Why did she break into the lottery building? What did she need?
“I don’t know,” Jason said.
“Do you doubt our leader?” There was terror in Vlad’s voice.
“What about you?” Jason didn’t look at his friend. He felt the noose getting tighter around his neck and kept shaking the chair under his feet.
“Is this a test?” Vlad almost whispered. “Are you testing me? Why are you asking all these questions, Jason? Are you testing me? Answer me?”
“I’m not testing you,” Jason grimaced.
“What then? What’s going on?” Vlad was getting hysterical. Jason had never heard his friend sound this nervous. He felt bad for him.
“Relax, Vlad. It was a stupid idea. I hope you can forget about it. We are going to fulfill our duty, as we are supposed to. Everything will go according to regulations.”
“First, you’re asking me questions like these and then telling me to relax? What does it mean? What’s your plan?”
“I don’t have any plan besides the one we’re supposed to follow. Listen, we’ve known each other for years. I consider you as my friend and I would never do anything against you. I hope the same goes for you.”
“It wasn’t a test?” Vlad asked after a pause.
“No. We’re almost there. It’s good we haven’t moved far from the corporation.”
“I’d never do anything against you,” Vlad said quietly.
They hadn’t said another word to each other during their short drive. Jason’s stomach started to ache. He had never been so nervous in his entire life. He worried about his family, his crazy wife. His heart was tearing apart.”
I looked at the city spreading under us. The electronic advertising boards threw bright flashes of light in the air. I saw black birds with rainbow wings, cars on the roads in the areas that were clear of smog. I wasn’t scared of height in the helicopter. I even calmed down and managed to stop thinking of the people we had killed.
We
. Because I couldn’t blame Ray for that massacre on the roof. I was part of it.
“We are going to land in a few minutes,” Ray said, and I shuddered, not expecting him to talk. We had been quiet during the whole trip.
“I don’t want to think that we are not going to see each other anymore,” he continued. I didn’t turn to him, studying buttons and levers on the panel. “How can I live here knowing that you’re there? Knowing that you exist and I can’t meet you, look into your eyes?”
How could I live all this time without Ray? Knowing that he existed, but I couldn’t meet him or hear his voice?
“Stop it. No sentiments,” I said. “And I would never trust you again.”
Ray didn’t answer, just looked through the front window. I turned to him and studied his profile; just as I had remembered it, long eyelashes, plump lips.
“Sam, I’m not going to lie to you anymore. You have the right not to believe me. I want to say that I loved Samantha. I truly fell in love with her … when I met her.”
I felt a sting of jealousy that didn’t make sense. What
did
make sense in my thoughts?
“She was spoiled already at that time. Daddy’s little girl, you know? She wasn’t spoiled by power yet. She didn’t notice me at first, but I was ready to do anything to get her attention. Then, when she agreed to date me and when she found feelings for me and admitted it, her father stood between us. He even threatened me,” Ray grinned. “I happened to be brave enough to stand against him. He gave up, but warned me with death threats if I ever offended his daughter in any way.”
“You’ve killed him, nothing to worry about now,” I said, but felt bad about my words right away. “Sorry. I just … thought about something.”
I thought about my Ray. If he was so persistent, everything could have turned out differently between us. Only he didn’t want to try to win me. He didn’t care. He had too many women around him ready who would fall on their backs at the first whistle, why would he work for a potential relationship with some crazy girl who was in love?
“What changed?” I asked.
Ray ignored all of my previous comments.
“I changed,” he said. “One day I took off the rose-colored glasses I was looking at Samantha through and that thing I called love started to fade away.”
“What happened?”
“It happened after I voluntarily presented my company to Samantha’s father and after the killings had started. Sam, I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Nothing. All I could do – was murder Bristow, but it wasn’t possible.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I feel that I do. So, three years ago I witnessed a conversation between Samantha and her father. I should tell you that I didn’t see Bristow often and he wasn’t eager to see me. We had a mutual dislike for each other. I’ve seen him maybe five times since Samantha and I got married.”
I squinted my eyes when the helicopter turned directly toward the sun. Ray pressed one of the buttons and the glass became dark, blocking the light.
“That day, I was supposed to be on your planet, but I finished everything quickly and came back early. Bristow had lunch in our house which had never happened in my presence. I heard his voice when I entered from outside. I didn’t want to see him, and I was sure he wouldn’t get excited to see me either. I wanted to get upstairs and take a shower when I overheard their conversation. They were talking about
so called
enemies of the government. My wife …” Ray swallowed and pressed his lips. “She said that all scorfahs that had made her life difficult in school, begged her for forgiveness in onis. She watched them as they died. She said that now she could live without looking back into the past. Sam, I didn’t think my wife had anything to do with the murders. I thought she didn’t know about it. People have been murdered, innocent people. Lawful murders. It was such a shock to me when I found out that she had known and participated in it. She hadn’t told me anything. I suddenly realized that I didn’t know her. I didn’t know how cold and cruel she was. I didn’t know she didn’t have empathy. Maybe I didn’t want to know.”
“You didn’t leave her after that.”
“Love can’t disappear with a snap of the fingers. It happened, but with time. It was like I had just met Samantha and had gotten to know her. That week, for example, I learned that she was involved in the murder of one of my good friends. Then I decided that I had to change what I had done.”
“You haven’t done anything directly.”
“Not directly, but it didn’t make me less guilty. I followed the flow, accepting all the darkness that our world was sinking into. I became one of the participants in this horror. Do you understand? So, I created Hlifian.”
My eyes opened wide and my jaw dropped.
“You?”
Ray turned to me and smiled sadly.
“I understand that it’s not easy to believe. I continued to take part in murders of people from your planet and from mine. But I also saved a lot of people. Only a few members have known who is at the top of our movement, but that was the reason we could do so much. The City of Lost was searched on very rare occasions just because I could redirect the hunters or stop them. It actually became easier when the President put Bristow in charge of the hunters
and
the police. I could find out firsthand about the plans and take steps.”
“How could your President let go of his power?”
“It’s simple. Money. Bristow created the lottery and bought everything and everyone he could. He also paid the government’s debt. Many things connect to finances.”
“So, Dan didn’t start working for your wife by accident?”
“Of course not. I recommended him.”
“Samantha didn’t suspect anything?”
“Every day I waited to be arrested, but somehow I managed to keep my involvement a secret.”
“Until today.”
“I’m okay with it. It wasn’t easy to live a double life. I was on the edge. We were preparing for the revolution even though we didn’t have a lot of people.”
I was silent, trying to analyze the situation.
“Then Samantha decided she wanted to move to Planet Two. That was how I learned about you.”
I slowed down my breathing. The most interesting part for me was ahead.
“Samantha wanted me to collect the information about you personally. To create a file. I sent a few spies to your world to watch you and received their reports every day.”
“My every step,” I muttered.
“Your every step. Just one tiny mistake and you became the owner of the phone I was getting reports from. That day I told my people that I was going to meet you. One of the spies followed you until he saw me.”
“He didn’t expect me to stop.”
“Probably not, even though he should have.”
“You didn’t tell me anything. Okay, let’s not go there again. So, you’ve known everything about me since before we met?”
“Not everything, but a lot. You and Samantha have common characteristics.”
I shuddered. I didn’t want to have anything in common with that maniac.
“You’re both quick-tempered. Only, you are open in your emotions. Samantha is cold. If you would call a person you didn’t like … some bad name … my wife would kill him. Would order someone to kill him. Or her.”
“She has more capability. I’d finish off a couple or more jerks, don’t you doubt that.”
“You have a great sense of humor.” Ray lifted his index finger. “She doesn’t. You collected a stray kitten from the rain and kept it in your home until there was someone to take care of it.”
“It’s not the best sign of humanity. Not a big deal,” I harrumphed. I did find a kitten, but couldn’t keep it because of an allergy to cat’s hair. I didn’t mind taking medication for a couple of weeks, but didn’t want to do it for ten years or however long a cat’s life would last.
“You fought with a salesperson in a store because she was rude to an old woman. What I’m trying to say—you’re different. I wanted to meet you.”
“You don’t have to continue. We went through those chapters.”
“And we have arrived.” Ray started to turn the helicopter for landing on the roof of the corporation. The tallest building in my field of vision. “Bristow rebuilt the roof for the landing.”
I clasped my fists. A little more time and we were going to part. Probably forever. Or not? Was there hope?
The helicopter started setting down and after a few seconds the sound of moving blades became quieter.
Ray turned to me, took my hands in his. I didn’t resist.
“Everything I told you that day … I felt it. You need to believe me. I didn’t lie. I have known you; I wanted to be with you.
“You used me and my feelings.”
“That’s why I don’t ask you to forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it. You won’t see me anymore; you can continue your life.”
Then he leaned toward me, kissed me quickly on my lips, and jumped outside. I tried to catch my breath. I did it again. Again! I couldn’t give in to my feelings, couldn’t let myself trust a person whom I loved. Did I love? Was I in love with
him
? Maybe I loved the fact that he looked like another person, like someone my heart had belonged to.
The door from my side opened and Ray helped me to get out of the helicopter. I was on a roof again and my fear of heights I didn’t know about two days ago had returned. I couldn’t think of anything else but getting down, away from the wind and sun. I couldn’t think of anything else until we got down into the hallway of the Corporation—
A Step to Another World.