A Strong Hand (25 page)
Authors: Catt Ford
by Catt Ford
that from now on, he would do what he could to ease Nick's path, feeling a little guilty that in his desire to bed the boy, he'd forgotten to take any interest in the rest of his life.
Nick was a good sub, but he was also a complex, interesting, and creative man. If he were talented as well, Damian would do what he could to help him; it was difficult enough to find one's path as an artist, particularly if one wished to earn a living that way.
"How do you know?" Nick asked suspiciously.
"The things you react to in my work. The suggestions you've made, problems you've solved for me," Damian explained. "Art is subjective. If it speaks to only one person, then it's a success."
"I don't know much about art but I know what I like," Nick quoted sarcastically.
"Yes," Damian said seriously. "In this case it's true. That's all it takes for a piece to be a success. I'm doing what I love, and I've been lucky enough to find other people who love my work and want to look at it every day so they buy it."
"So it's just doing what you love?" Nick asked, twisting onto his side to look up at his lover. He raised his hand to stroke the stubble on Damian's jaw.
"If you don't love what you do, you'll just be miserable, so why do it?"
"I think that's a trick question. I'll have to work on it."
Damian looked down at his beautiful boy, more relaxed than he'd ever seen him.
Of course,
he thought humorously,
I'm not terrifying him right now
. "I don't think we've ever talked this much before."
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Nick laughed. "I think I pissed you off too much before, always dropping stuff and falling over your equipment. How come you didn't fire me?"
"There was something about you, Nicky, always something that spoke to me," Damian said.
"You mean, you knew that I was ... am submissive ... right from the start?" Nick asked uneasily.
"No, of course not, although you were kind of a brat,"
Damian chuckled. "Are you embarrassed about wanting to submit to me?"
"Not when we're alone, but I don't think I'd want anyone else to know," Nick said hesitantly.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Nicky. It takes a strong man to surrender to another person," Damian said, stroking the thick glossy hair. "You should be proud that you're brave enough to claim your desires instead of cowering in fear."
"You don't think it's weird, what we do?"
"Human behavior comes on a spectrum. We're just a little more towards one end than most people," Damian said. "Like being gay, we're a minority. But we're not hurting anyone—"
"Other than me," Nick joked.
Damian laughed. "You're always surprising me."
"You always surprise
me
," Nick claimed. "That's part of what's so ... so exciting."
"Believe me, I can tell you're going to keep me on my toes," Damian said ruefully and an awkward silence fell between them when he realized that his comment intimated that they had a future together.
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"I hope to," Nick said quietly, turning his face away so that Damian couldn't see his eyes.
Damian rushed into speech, saying "Even if you decide you would prefer not to continue with the spanking, I think I would always end up dominating you in bed. It's just how I am. And I think it feels natural for you to let me take the lead."
"Yeah, it does, but...."
"But?"
"I liked what you said about this being a collaboration,"
Nick said, not sure he was quite expressing what he felt.
"It's a partnership. I could do nothing to you without your permission." Damian stopped short, realizing he had almost addressed Nick as "my love." Pet wasn't appropriate in this situation and baby felt too casual. But he wasn't ready yet to declare himself; he needed a little time to know his own heart.
"That's good to know," Nick said thoughtfully. He picked up the remote and started flipping through the channels on TV.
Damian wondered if Nick just didn't want to talk about it anymore, even though the conversation felt unfinished to him. "What the hell are we watching?"
Nick set the remote down out of Damian's reach. "
Laura
."
Damian peered at the screen doubtfully. "It's a chick flick."
"It's a noir classic!" Nick declared. "It's fabulous!"
"Fabulous is such a gay word, and it's still a chick flick."
"Guess it proves I'm gay after all then, doesn't it?" Nick grinned.
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"No one just turns gay overnight." Damian didn't know quite what he was hoping Nick would say in answer to that.
"Did you ever date a guy before?"
"Never really thought about it," Nick admitted. "I went out with a lot of girls, but I never saw stars, you know. Sex was fine, it was pleasant—"
"Pleasant?" Damian groaned. "That's tragic. Sex should be amazing, stupendous, earth-shaking—"
"Well, I didn't know any better." Nick paused to think for a moment. "Somehow it never worked out with any of them either. And some of them were nice girls."
"Beautiful?" Damian teased.
"I nailed my share," Nick said crassly. "But I never felt that sense of connection, like I wanted to be around them all the time."
Damian was too afraid to ask if it was different with him.
He acknowledged his own cowardice with a rueful smile, but he didn't want to hear it if the answer was no. "What do you think your parents would say?"
"As long as I'm not risking my life, they'll be fine," Nick said. "Funny how a major life-threatening accident can put things in perspective."
"That's true. I'm sure they'd rather have you gay than not at all." Very casually, Damian asked, "Any regrets about all this?"
A slow smile spread over Nick's face. He pulled Damian down for a kiss. "What do you think?" he whispered against Damian's lips.
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As their tongues met, all thought fled from Damian's mind and he forgot to doubt.
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"Come on, Nick. We're late already," Damian said, looking at his watch with impatience.
Nick looked regretfully at the pillow he'd carried around with him all day on Sunday. "If I weren't afraid that Ashley would demand to see my arse, I'd take that lovely soft pillow with me."
Damian chuckled. "You're right about Ashley. He'd adore any hints at all, but I'm quite sure you'll be fine without the pillow. Just choose a padded chair, and don't flop down."
"Easy for you to say," Nick grumbled, wincing as he slid into the seat in Damian's car. "I don't think I can be in any shots today." He had stiffened up and it wasn't so much surface pain as deep muscle soreness that plagued him now.
"No need," Damian said lightly. "I'm not shooting today.
We need to present all the shots to Ashley and his business partner this evening. So you get to keep your clothes on."
Nick breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't comfortable with making this public while he was still grappling with the implications for himself. At times he felt completely at ease with what was happening, while at others he would study Damian's face as if the man was a complete stranger to him rather than someone with whom he'd shared his body in ways more intimate than merely sexual.
If he thought it would be a relaxing day without Ashley around, Nick soon found out differently. Damian directed him to set up tables along the length of the studio. Nick pulled out 241
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the tables and together they wrestled them into place, creating a long surface where Damian could set up printouts of the various shots.
It was even more incongruous that the collection of toys, benches, restraints, and whips were strewn on other tables opposite, making a narrow walkway down one side of the studio, where one could turn to look at either the photos or the implements.
Before Ashley was due to turn up, Damian found Nick and held him for a moment. "How's your butt?" he asked, rubbing that part of Nick's anatomy soothingly.
"A little achy," Nick admitted, resting his forehead on Damian's shoulder.
"Yeah, you've been moving around a lot. I'm sorry about that," Damian said, "Why don't you sit down and take some aspirin?"
"
Sit
down?" Nick teased.
Damian laughed. "Right. Well, suit yourself, but I warn you, if you eat dinner standing up tonight I'm sure you'll hear about it from Ashley."
"I'll take some aspirin right now," Nick said firmly. He shuddered at the thought of Ashley snickering at him all evening and headed for the bathroom.
Damian opened the door to a knock and found Ashley standing there with his business partner, a tall, dark man with a large, muscular build. "Crispin," Damian acknowledged the taller man, shaking his hand.
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"Damian! Good to see you again," Crispin said jovially.
"Ashley's got me all worked up, anxious to see what you've got."
He shook Damian's hand while Derek sidled around Ashley to find Nick. "Hey, dude. How are you? Isn't he crazy wicked?
He makes Ashley and Damian seem like pussy cats."
Nick nodded, aware of the power emanating from the cheerful-looking man. His face was pleasant and his nose incongruously pert, giving him a friendly expression that belied his menace. "How do you know? What did he do?"
Derek shivered. "What wouldn't he do? But you just wait
'til his ... his boyfriend gets here. He's meeting us here later."
"What's he like?" Nick asked, wondering if all the people he now knew were gay.
"You'll see," Derek said, nodding smugly, feeling that at last he had one on the other boy.
Crispin accompanied Ashley and Damian into the studio.
He inspected the photographs laid out on the tables in silence, finally turning to shake Damian's hand.
"You are a true artist," he said solemnly. He turned to Ashley and shook his hand as well. "And you were right; this is amazing stuff. This will set us apart from every other maker of kinky gear." He laughed suddenly. "My old dad would be spinning in his grave if he knew that the leather harness company he founded had branched out into this stuff."
"But he'd probably enjoy the profits," Ashley interjected slyly.
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"No doubt," Crispin agreed. "This earns far more money than the horse division."
The three men started as the outer door swung open violently, the knob crashing into the wall.
Nick and Derek peeked cautiously out of the kitchen to see a very fit and muscular man, clad in jeans and a tank top. He was good looking in a rough sort of way, with dark auburn hair that stuck up all over his head, thick eyebrows, and stubble on his chin.
"Hey, you two little fairies, where the fuck is Crispin?"
Nick frowned and stepped forward, clenching his fists.
Derek hung onto his arm and answered, "In the back,"
pointing the way.
"Where does he get off—?" Nick started angrily.
"Shut it. Let's go watch," Derek said soothingly. "Besides, you couldn't take him in a month of Sundays."
"I'm just as tall as he is," Nick sputtered.
"It's not the height, it's the bulk. Eddy's a construction worker," Derek explained in a whisper. "Wait'll you see how Crispin handles him. It's a treat."
The two boys watched as Eddy swaggered into the back, ignoring the many implements and all the photos.
"Crispin, how's it hanging?" Eddy asked and laughed at his own crudeness.
Crispin kissed him lightly and said, "Hello, Eddy, love.
That's one."
"Oooh, scary. And who are these fucking poofters?" Eddy leered.
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"Eddy, behave," Crispin said sternly, slinging his arm over the shorter man's shoulders. "You know Ashley perfectly well, so don't pull that crap with me. This is Damian Wolfe, our photographer."
"Heard of you," Eddy grumbled, but he shook the hand that Damian held out to him. He squirmed away from Crispin's hold and peered at the photos. "Fucking smut, this is, yeah?"
Crispin rolled his eyes but ignored him for the moment.
"Let's go over these from the start. Ashley, where's your layout plan?" He bent over to inspect one of the shots that featured Nick, and lifted his head to peer at him. "And is this the model?"
Nick nodded, and smiled shyly.
Damian said, "This is my assistant, Nick Sayers. Ashley and I decided he'd be a natural for this and asked him if he wouldn't mind stretching the job description a bit."
Crispin straightened up and came to shake Nick's hand.
"Good to meet you, Nick. I'm Crispin Merrick. I'm Ashley's silent partner. I make the goods and keep my mouth shut whilst he runs the dog and pony show."
"Nice to meet you, sir," Nick responded.
The sound of slow clapping made both of them turn around. A twisted smile on his face, Eddy sneered, "How very fucking polite. La di
da,
and
oh,
Mr. Merrick, I'm
so
fucking happy to kiss your fucking arse!
May
I bend over and lick your balls?"
Nick flushed with anger and dropped his hands to his sides, clenching his fists, wondering what it was about this 245
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guy that had him fantasizing about beating him into the ground. Normally, he wasn't that aggressive.
Crispin turned and crossed his arms, saying softly, "That's two, Eddy. Don't try my patience any further."
Eddy gave him a cocky little smile, but didn't say anything more at the moment. Nick was startled to see Eddy giving him a wink with an apologetic shrug. He turned to Derek, who merely shook his head, whispering, "You'll see."
Ashley reclaimed Crispin's attention by pointing at his favorite shot, the one of Nick kneeling in the red collar, his leash wrapped around a shadowy man's hand. "I was thinking of this for the cover, Crispin. What's your feeling on that?"