A Summer Shame (11 page)

"I think you will find my husband to be a man of surprising taste and manners. He has certainly surprised me, in the best ways possible, since our marriage."

At this news, Jane smiled meekly at her sister, torn between the honest feelings of happiness stirring in her heart and the fear it might be she who never found a match. Elizabeth noticed Jane's discomfort and suggested they ask Mr. Hopkins to drive them into town. Jane cheered at the prospect and as the two walked together to their suites for suitable attire for the damp weather outdoors, they passed Lydia's closed door.

"Let's find a present for Lydia! It was my fault she felt so awful. I don't know what I was thinking to go on and on about London and the balls." Jane stopped in the hallway and hung her head. Elizabeth squeezed her sister's hand.

"You will need time, but please know there was little to prevent this morning's outburst. They say a woman with child can become impossibly moody and easy to anger, and with Lydia, the doctor does not know if it's her age, the situation, or merely her displacement, but she is one of the worst cases he has seen."

Sadly, Jane shook her head, and hugged Elizabeth with ferocity. "I am here. I should have been here the whole time. Pray, forgive me."

As the two pulled apart, both sisters teared up and Elizabeth assured Jane there was naught that could be done to change the past.

"And I know, I know, we should only reflect on the past as it gives us pleasure," Jane said before her younger sister could finish the motto their father had handed down to all of them, anytime their childish hopes or expectations were disappointed.

"Papa is watching over us, Jane. I can feel it. Now, go don your cloak, the breeze from the sea turns quite chilly but I would not have us take any but the barouche. It is well-sprung and the countryside is so gorgeous, it's like riding through a painting." Despite the tears, the two sisters giggled and squealed, both overjoyed to be reunited.

The evening after their trip to Haddington, it was Mr. Darcy who surprised the ladies of the house with a secret. The three sisters congregated in the entryway as instructed, and Elizabeth laughed as Jane rocked back and forth on her heels.

"Do you think Mr. Darcy truly means to take us to town? Or perhaps out to dine? I am so grateful to be included in the invitation!" Lydia tittered on and on, constantly waddling to the alcove to check out front for a carriage or the barouche. Elizabeth tensed her shoulders and consciously inhaled metered breaths. Her husband would never embarrass their family at so late a stage as this. Over and over she repeated in her mind that he had her trust.

"Lizzie, are you keeping knowledge from us?" Lydia asked, looking to Jane for reinforcement of her inquisition.

"None, I'm afraid. Surprises are Mr. Darcy's favorite game." Elizabeth laughed as the girls heard voices and a familiar jingle from outside. Mrs. Buchanan appeared from the back hallway towards the kitchen carrying a bundle of blankets. As the front door swung open, the barouche stood decorated with garlands of flowers and glass jars with flickering fireflies.

Gallantly, he offered his arm to Lydia who stood utterly still until she began bouncing up and down in jubilation. "How lovely! Are we to go for a ride?"

"More than a ride, I happily invite the three fair Bennet sisters on a moonlight picnic, if they are so inclined to humor a humble Puck." He winked at his wife who stood behind Lydia wearing an expression of gratitude.

Jane linked arms with Elizabeth and they followed Robin Goodfellow and their younger sister out the door. Mrs. Buchanan saw them off after handing the blankets to Mrs. Darcy, shooing the family on their way.

The crisp, late summer evening had cleared from the earlier fog and cloudiness. Allowing her sister to sit next to Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth and Jane sat facing their sister and Elizabeth warmly smiled at her husband. Watching her two sisters take so much joy in the excursion, Elizabeth relished her role as Mrs. Darcy and the merriment she and her husband might spread if they should coordinate efforts on his famous surprises.

Elizabeth quickly recognized the driver carried them to nearly the same picnic spot she had enjoyed with William a few weeks earlier near the pond. Charming during the day, the dusk's inky blues and radiant white shimmers on the water's surface transformed the spot into an utterly magical destination. A bonfire roared, carefully surrounded by heavy stones, and once again, the new Mrs. Darcy sensed the incredible honor of being so splendidly served by the staff of Starvet House.

Jane helped Lydia to the blankets already spread for their repast, and Elizabeth happily tiptoed through the dewy grass on her husband's strong arm.

"Have I told you today what a wonderful husband you are? If not, please add today to the list of sixty plus such occasions."

"Only sixty? You are aware we've been wedded lo these ninety-eight days."

Impressed he had the exact count, Elizabeth hid her feelings behind a tease. "Yes, sir, but should I bestow such an honor upon you every day, you might cease your attentions entirely, feeling convincingly victorious in your profession."

Darcy laughed, squeezing his wife's form to his side, but not taking any further liberty in the presence of her sisters. The jars of glowing fireflies were untied from the barouche and placed pleasantly among the plates and platters of cold meats and goat cheese. Conversation flowed lightly as Jane and Elizabeth told Lydia a summary of Shakespeare's great work,
A Midsummer Night's Dream
, when she asked why Mr. Darcy called himself Puck earlier. A splash startled the party as a fish jumped from the surface to catch a midge flitting above the pond.

"Ooh, did you see that? The fish feed themselves?" Lydia shifted her sitting position to one on her knees, facing the pond with her eyes squinted. She did not wish to miss another performance.

"Yes, Miss Lydia, this pond is one of Nature's creation, not my own. Should the fish not labor to feed themselves, I fear they would go hungry." The seriousness of Mr. Darcy's voice contrasted so starkly with the nonsense of such a question, but Elizabeth managed to keep her composure.

Lydia sighed and rubbed her stomach absently. The mannerism appeared to be a good sign to Jane and she nudged Elizabeth.

"Does the babe move?"

"Ugh, all day and night. He is most vexing with his kicks. My poor back cannot take it!" Lydia leaned back and arched over her hands now supporting her lower back to emphasize her complaint. "I do not know how I will endure the journey back to London!"

Jane and Elizabeth shared a glance, then turned back to Lydia. "Journey back to London? Well, I am sure after the babe is delivered, and you recover, you will be relieved of the pain of your current condition."

"La! You're here to take me back to London, are you not Jane? Yes, why else would you be here? My Wickham has been found and Lizzie and Mr. Darcy can finish their wedding trip in Scotland. And George and I can be married!" Lydia gazed up at the stars with her face beaming.

"Mr. Wickham is gone. Your baby will be born here, in this house," Elizabeth replied flatly.

"Then why is Jane here? Why? She would not have come unless they found my dear, sweet Wickham. I must return to London. I must! He will be looking for me and I packed my trunk today." Lydia huffed and puffed, rolling to her hands and knees to push herself up off the ground. Her size made her cumbrous and Mr. Darcy immediately offered to help.

"Lydia, Mr. Wickham is dead. He is gone."

"Dead? Dead?" Lydia began to tremble and Darcy immediately clasped the young woman in his arms.

"Jane! Was that truly necessary?" Elizabeth said in disgust, rising from the picnic to help her husband guide the now sobbing Lydia back to the barouche. The evening was ruined.

"I am so sorry! I was only trying to help!" Jane called, chasing the couple and their charge, leaving the picnic for the servants to pack. Courtesy of Lydia's increased appetite, nary a crumb was left of the summer's buffet.

Elizabeth scowled as their progress was slowed by Lydia slipping on the slick grass, but never falling as both she and Fitzwilliam kept her upright. Jane was silent as she was assisted into the barouche last, and sat next to Mr. Darcy while Elizabeth held Lydia on the other bench.

"I am so sorry. I never meant . . ." she whispered.

"It's alright, Miss Bennet. Miss Lydia would learn of his fate sooner of later. I intended to convey the news after she was safely delivered."

"Oh." Jane's chagrin made any further discussion out of the question and the ride back to the manor house was somber and sullen.

Jane Bennet lounged on the chaise placed in her suite especially for her use, bundled up in a spectacular quilt of ruby red and evergreen stars. She traced the delicate stitches that bound the layers of fabric together and shivered as a maid stoked the fire.

"Thank you, Millie."

The maid curtsied. "Anna, ma'am. I'll be Millie all the same if it pleases you."

Jane touched her fingers to her forehead then shook them away. "No, no, I apologize. One should never change their name to suit another. I have lived in so many houses over the last year, I confess I don't know if I'm coming or going half the time." Jane laughed, nodding to the wisp of a girl with plain brown features, until the young girl smiled just a touch on the left side of her mouth. "There now, I've thoroughly embarrassed myself, but your work for my comfort is much appreciated."

Mrs. Darcy entered the room and the young girl immediately dropped her head into a curtsy. "Please allow us some privacy, Anna?"

"Of course ma'am. Will there be anything else?" The maid asked looking to both sisters before Mrs. Darcy shook her head no. After the sturdy wooden door latch clicked, Elizabeth dragged an arm chair from the far side of the suite to bring it closer to Jane by the window. Her older sister shrugged herself into a sitting position, waiting for Elizabeth to convey the reason for her presence.

After looking at her hands and wringing them, Elizabeth finally sighed and delved into the issue that was troubling her most. "Jane, are you unhappy here?"

Shocked, Jane sputtered for a moment then heartily convinced her sister she was not unhappy at all, and far from the feeling entirely.

"I only ask because I so rarely see you. At least, I never see you when Mr. Darcy is present. Last night at dinner, you barely said two words to our host, Mr. Hamilton. It is so unlike you . . . I worried that perhaps I had done something to offend. Or perhaps the staff?"

"Starvet House is a dream, Lizzie. A pure dream! The fields, the kindness, I never imagined loving another place so swiftly and deeply as I feel when I think of our own home, Longbourn." Jane frowned and corrected herself. "Our former home."

"I am so pleased to hear it, but still, I know we've been separated lo these many months. My heart is heavy for you. Was it the business with the Bingleys? Oh, that I were there for you! Had we honeymooned in London, I'm sure Mr. Darcy would not have minded."

Jane's warm hand snuck out of the blanket and she grasped Elizabeth's. "Do not trouble yourself. What would we have done with Lydia had we not the convenience of such a grand home? No, no, our separation was painful, but necessary. As far as the Bingleys . . ." Jane sighed and took a few deep breaths. "I cannot well describe my feelings towards him and his sister. It is not painful, and it is not with hate. I . . ."

"You were disappointed."

"Yes, exactly! I think Mr. Bingley is such a kind man, and generous and amiable but he suffers so from the influence of his sisters. It's not always easy to stand up to one's own relation." Jane shrunk back as she thought about her neglect of their mother, the dozen or so letters from Hertfordshire, largely unopened, sitting in her trunk. "Tell me about you! My sister, the mistress of a home! Lizzie, I cannot compliment your skills enough to do you credit. I fear my own head would ache most profoundly under such demands as yours."

Elizabeth laughed. "Oh, would that you knew all of the mistakes I made! I nearly scared a poor farm boy out of his wits one morning on my early walk when I marched over to the sheep barn and asked him to explain to me what he was doing. He thought me criticizing his work, and was so nervous that the new mistress would now surprise him with visits, he requested a new assignment to the far field. The whole story of course made its way round to Mr. Darcy, and I sat like a guilty young girl in his study as he for all he was worth not to laugh!"

Jane and her sister enjoyed the mirth of more stories, until the laughter made Jane's eyes nearly tear up. As she wiped them, Elizabeth smoothed her skirts and became agitated once more.

"What? What is it?"

"I must go I'm afraid and meet with Mrs. Buchanan. There are a few candidates for Lydia's wet nurse in the village, and we wish to begin interviews soon."

"Is she so close to her time? I thought for sure the babe would not come until nearly October!"

Elizabeth shook her head. "The doctor and midwife both think those calculations are wrong. Lydia won't tell me when she first started . . . relations with Wickham nor when she first missed her courses. Trying to talk to her about the babe is an exercise in futility." Elizabeth's stern Mrs. Darcy demeanor reappeared and Jane realized how heavy responsibility could weigh on a person. In no time at all, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy would be the owners of matching crease lines on their foreheads from the difficulties their positions demanded.