A Tattered Love (14 page)

This evening may have been out of the ordinary, and my mom unveiled some skeletons in both our closets, but that was just my mother’s way, and I knew she only did it to try to hurt me. I wanted to hear what Riley’s side of the story was before I jumped back down my mother’s throat, and really disbar myself from the family. I knew I messed up, too. I didn’t tell Riley about Molly because I wasn’t sure if that would scare her away. I rarely saw Molly because she lived in another state with her mother, who limited my visitation. Maybe that was why Riley didn’t disclose the information to me about her family, afraid that it would scare me off.

She looked up at me, but didn’t say a word. Once her breathing leveled out, I needed to get her to the hospital, and make sure she was going to be ok. I soothed her as much as possible, trying to calm her down. The next thing I saw was Evan pulling up on the street. What the hell was he doing here?

He jumped out of the car, and hurried over to Riley and me.

“What the hell happened, Dustin?” He looked at me panicked, obviously, because Riley was all banged up and bleeding. “Riley, are you ok? I’m here now.”

“She ran out of my parent’s house, and fell when she turned the corner. What are you doing here, man?” I looked at him baffled.

“Dude, Riley called me to come get her. She sounded upset, real upset, and when I asked what was wrong she just told me to hurry.”

I looked down at Riley as it looked like her breathing was back to normal, and she had tears running down her face.

“Evan, can you please take me home.” She looked right at Evan ignoring that I was even there. I needed her to talk to me, and I needed her to be checked by a doctor.

“Baby, you need to get to the hospital and get checked out. You’re banged up pretty bad. I can take you.” Smoothing her hair back, I kept running my fingers through it. She sat up, and immediately slapped my face, hard.

“Stay away from me, Dustin. I need space.” She cried loudly. “By the way, the pin I was accused of stealing was planted in my purse, and it’s somewhere on your mother’s lawn. Go fetch it, and bring it back to that witch.”

I got up slowly, backing away from Riley to respect her wishes. Evan stepped in, helping her to the car without even looking at me. I wondered If Evan was pissed at me, too. Well, he’s going to be, I was certain, because I didn’t even tell Evan about Molly. Nobody knew I had a daughter, because that’s how I wanted it. It upset me that I was rarely allowed to see her. I talked to her on the phone once a week, but I only saw her once a year for two weeks over Christmas or summer break. This year it fell on Christmas. I didn’t tell anybody, because I didn’t want Sabrina to know the people I hung around. She would find the smallest thing, and would make sure that she held it against me. I hang out with good people now. Back then, I didn’t, and Sabrina had slapped me with being an unfit parent because the guys I hung around with did drugs. I was guilty by association. I didn’t want her to know who my friends were now, because even though Abby, Evan, Frank, Joe, and all, were good people, I knew she would try to do something to make them appear bad. I just knew her that well.

Once Riley got in the car, she and Evan took off. I can’t believe Riley would steal something, and I wanted to believe she hadn’t, but this pin was planted? Who would plant that in her purse? I knew my mom was cruel, but I could never imagine her planting something in her purse.

I got in my Mustang and tore the hell of out of there. I received a text message shortly after I peeled out.

Carla: ‘I fuckin’ told you that your family raised you better than that. Stay away from Riley. She’s obviously bad news, D. You would choose a girl over your family?’

I was fuming with anger as I returned the text.

To Carla: ‘Keep on talking to me that way and I’ll drop your ass off my family list too. FUCK OFF CARLA. Mind your own damn business.’

She responded immediately.

Carla: ‘What makes her so special? The fact she’s a criminal? Last I checked, I didn’t think that made the top list of people to be associated with.’

I slammed my fist into the wheel of my Mustang. I had just wanted today to be great. However, that didn’t happen. Now, Riley hated me all over again, all because of my stupid mother. Now I needed to decide between my family, and the girl I was so deeply falling in love with. Evan seemed to have taken Riley’s side, and god only knows what he thought of me right then. Could it get any worse?

Arriving at my apartment, I stormed in, loosening my tie and throwing it across the couch. I was a mess, and felt so alone. This was crazy. I yanked off my monkey clothes, and put on some sweats. I collapsed on the couch, and rested my hands underneath my head as I stared at the ceiling just thinking of all the events that went down today. I wanted to kick somebody’s ass so bad. I would just have to settle on going to the gym in the morning, and using the punching bag, instead.

What was I going to do now? All I had done before was fight to have Riley in my life. Now I didn’t even know who she was anymore. Should I give her the benefit of the doubt? Had she planned to tell me when the time was right? Do I hold it against her, or just drop it and move on? If everything my mother said were true, should I still pursue a relationship with her? If Sabrina found out, my visitation might be dust with Molly. I felt lost and confused, and hurt. For once, I wasn’t sure what the right decision should be.

I must have passed out on the couch thinking about all the nonsense. Pounding on my door startled me awake. Who is it? I got off the couch and moseyed my way over to the door. It was Abby and she started pushing me and pounding on my chest when I opened the door. She continued as she pushed me back, making her way into the apartment.

“I can’t believe you fucking neglected to tell my best friend you have a daughter! What were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking allowing your mother to humiliate Riley like that! I can’t believe you, Dustin. You've completely made me lose any respect I may have had for you!” She wandered around my apartment being nosy looking at all the picture frames.

“Abby, look it’s complicated. I wasn’t ready for that yet.”

“Maybe you should have thought about complications before you decided to sleep with her, and then make her your girlfriend!” she said.

“She isn’t so innocent either, Abby. Did she tell you about her past? Did you know her father was in prison for stealing a significant amount of money, and that her mother helped him? Did you know she was caught stealing, as well? Did you know anything about her past?” I quizzed her, and she stood in front of me stunned.

“No. I didn’t. I knew there was something about some Mark guy that she didn’t want to discuss. I didn’t know about her family. That’s different though, don’t you think? She doesn’t know about my family. I wouldn’t want to tell anybody if my father was in prison or my mother was fucked up. I would, however, have wanted to tell someone about having a daughter! Especially, my best friends! Dustin, usually people want to brag about their kids, not hide them from everyone.”

I walked over and sat down on the couch resting my head in my hands, and pondered what I should say. I knew Abby was right in some way. She just didn’t understand why I hid Molly. I did it to protect my visitation, so I would be able to see Molly. Sabrina was a not a nice person after she had Molly, and would do anything to keep me out of Molly’s life. I didn’t want her to think I was having fun without my daughter because then she’d try to use it against me in court. Like, why should he have custody if he’s too busy partying with his drug addict friends? That’s what Abby didn’t know, and that’s why I kept my daughter a secret from everyone. The less Sabrina could figure out, the better.

“You just don’t understand, Abby.” I shook my head back and forth. If Abby didn’t understand, I’m going to have a hard time getting Riley to understand, too.

“Whatever, Dustin. All I’m saying is, you need to make this right. Riley is devastated, and contemplating quitting her job over this. She’s humiliated and embarrassed. And she’s falling every bit in love with you. Then this shit happens, so you need to fix it.” She stood with her hands on her hips determined to make sure she successfully made her point. “It’s late. I’m going to Riley’s to spend the night with her. She’s pretty sore and banged up from falling. Make this right, Boyd.” Then she ran out the door before I could manage to say anything else.

I walked into my bedroom and lay on my bed. I knew I needed to sleep this off. I was so angry with my family, and so mad that Riley wasn’t by my side tonight. I had anticipated her spending the night with me. I was so upset with myself. Abby was right though, I needed to fix this and make everything right. I needed Riley in my life; I just needed to make sure she needed me in hers. I had to figure out a way to keep both her and Molly in my life. I will. I will try.

***

The next few days were miserable. I would simply get up and go to work. I didn’t socialize, and I didn’t call or text anybody during that time. I did my job and came home, ate and went to sleep. I was as confused as to what I should do. I haven’t heard from Riley, and I haven’t contacted her either. I figured she needed space. I did manage to send her flowers once. I didn’t wish for her to be in pain after falling, and I wanted to see her recover fully. I didn’t get a thank you, and I was fine with that. I kept to myself. I didn’t talk to Evan and Abby, or to my family. Literally, I was a ghost walking around town.

After a week and a half had passed from the night of the gala, I decided I needed to approach Riley, sit down, and have a talk with her. I found out through Abby that Riley was working the late shift, so I planned to stop in and see if she’d take her lunch with me. I didn’t want to wait any longer as it had already been almost two weeks. I put on some jeans and a plain black V-neck shirt, and headed over to Eddie’s in the Mustang. They looked pretty dead and should be perfect—more time for us to talk.

She saw me immediately when I strolled in. Before she went running away, I ran up to her. The hostess rolled her eyes, and tried to stop me but I pushed past her.

“Riley, wait. Please, don’t go.” I begged her standing right behind her.

I took a good look at her as she turned around, and noticed a bruise on her face that was slowly fading. It was almost gone, but I still could see the remnants of it.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“I want to talk. Go on lunch with me so we can talk. Please, I owe you an explanation.” I hoped that by telling her I owed her an explanation, she would think she owed me one, as well. After all, I was dying to hear about her story as much as I was certain she wanted to hear mine.

She looked toward a waiter I had never seen before, and told him to cover for her for an hour. He nodded, and shrugged his shoulders as she walked away.

“You have one hour. That’s it.”

“It’s all I need.” I reassured her.

We walked out of the restaurant, and I followed her over to the beach as she took out her smokes, and lit one up.

“Riley, I should have told you about my daughter but it’s complicated. I want to be that bragging father, telling everyone that I have a wonderful gorgeous four-year-old daughter, but I can’t be. I only get to see my daughter once a year for two weeks. My ex girlfriend, Sabrina, is not a good person where I’m concerned. She doesn’t want me in Molly’s life out of spite for our past. She will do anything to make my life a living hell, and to make it impossible for me to see my daughter.”

She just looked at me for a minute. You could tell she was still pretty upset. “You slept with me pretty much before I even knew your last name. If you were a proud responsible daddy that didn’t want his baby momma knowing about his misdoings, why would you have done that? You didn’t know me. I could have been lying when I told you I was protected. I could have been some psychotic lunatic that wanted to make your life a living hell. You just let it happen.” Riley puffed on her cigarette and plopped down in the sand to rest her feet.

“I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking then. I did what I did because of how I felt about you. I didn’t use my best judgment. I knew I should have waited with you, but neither of us stopped it from happening.”

She looked up at me and I thought she wanted to strangle me due to the fierce look she had on her face.

“So, I was just some fuck to you? In the beginning?” She narrowed her eyes at me.

“No, no, not at all, Riley. God, I’m not just some guy that will screw anything he sees. I liked you Riley, I like you.” I corrected her. “I still like you, and I fall more and more in love with you every time I see you. When are you going to see that?”

She sat there and just stared. You can tell she was frustrated but the sexual tension between us was already starting to escalate, even as we sat there.

“Did you just say you’re falling in love with me?” she asked hiding a tear rolling down her cheek.

“I am.” I looked back at her giving her a genuine smile.

“I put in my two weeks’ notice. My last day at Eddie’s is Friday.”

I looked at her unsure of what I had just heard.
She did what?
Is she fleeing back home? Oh my god, what did I do!