A Tattered Love (24 page)

“When someone close to you, like your family, dives in for information about me, and tells you I’m a criminal with a criminal family, and you believe my story of innocence that tells me a lot about you.” She wiped away a stray tear, “I love you, Dustin Boyd.”

Riley

It was so hard to open up and tell Dustin my true feelings.

“Look, Dustin, ever since I met you I hoped to have you some day. I didn’t think I was ready, but I am. I want to tell you my past, more than you know. I want to tell you one of things that have been holding me back, besides your ex.” I smiled at him and grabbed his hand to hold as I began. “I want to tell you about Mark. He’s my ex fiancé who passed away.”

“Oh my god, I didn’t know.” He shook his head.

“I know you didn’t. I was young, Dustin, very young—in high school. We dated for four years, and he proposed to me my senior year. We didn’t actually plan to marry until we were finished with college, but he just wanted to make sure I was his. That’s all I ever wanted to be was his. Our relationship was so perfect. He was my first love, my first time, and my first of many things. I know it was a long time ago, and I don’t know why I still get scared to move on since he’s not even here anymore.”

“Babe, stop, you don’t have to tell me this. He must have meant a lot to you and I get it.”

“No, I need to tell you this. Mark set my standards so high because he was so great to me. He didn’t give me shit, we rarely argued, and if we did, we made up right away. We didn’t spend much time apart, his family loved me, and my family loved him. Back when my family was ok. There were no imperfections what so ever in our relationship. I felt like if he were still here we’d be married with kids already. He was my soul mate. Unfortunately, he took his life the end of my senior year. I cried for weeks, months about him. I was so angry that he left me. Then we found out why he was so unhappy and what made him do that to himself.” I took a deep breath. “Mark had been being bullied, apparently quite often. I didn’t see it, and I try to look back to find the culprits and I can’t. Since we were engaged, I didn’t feel I should move on, or could move on.”

“Oh, Riley, I am so sorry. I totally can’t imagine what you went through.”

“Hell. I went through hell, and then I went through the disappointment of what my family had become. I didn’t think any man would want to be with me other than for sex. That’s what my mom always put in my head, is that men are only there for sex. I knew Mark was different, and I thought I’d never find one like Mark. After you found out about my family, and part of my past, I honestly thought you were history. I know it’s weird, but I felt like I could talk to Mark even though he wasn’t here. I thought about what he would tell me if he were here. My heart pulled me in the direction of you, but my mind pulled me away. That’s why I think I was so damn attracted to you, and that’s why we have sex all the time. It’s easier to have sex than to think about the seriousness of a relationship.”

“I want you in my life, Riley, I need you, too.” Dustin spoke softly.

“I think it’s time to move past Mark. I know he’d be so proud of me for being with you. You’re such a great person, and I see that, I do. Nobody will ever compare to Mark in my eyes, and I think that’s what I was trying to do with you.”

“Oh, babe.” He rubbed my back and kissed my cheek.

“I’m serious, Dustin, I tried finding men but nobody compared. Mark was his own person, and I’ll never find anyone like him because he’s gone. You have shown me that you want to be in my life. I just haven’t let anyone in. If you really want to be a part of my life, we will find a way to get around Sabrina.”

He looked at me and trailed his hand along my cheek, “Riley, I want to be with you more than you know. I have fallen in love with you. I love you.”

My jaw just about dropped to the floor. I haven’t been in love in years, but it felt like what he was saying to me was what I was feeling about him.

I took a breath and reached for his chin and planted a kiss on his soft lips. “I’m falling in love with you, too.” I smiled.

“Will you be my girlfriend, Riley Miller?” the smile across his face just made me grin.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend.” I laughed and jumped in his arms and tossed him back on the bed.

This was the happiest day after having the shittiest week. After saying good-bye to Lena, she promised to keep in touch with me. It made me feel so much better knowing that she wanted to stay a part of my life. I visited with Grams the rest of the week and still kept it casual without the mention of boy troubles or the loss of my job. I didn’t want Grams to have anything to worry about after I left. It was really nice catching up with them all and spending quality time. I promised I’d come back to visit the next opportunity that I had.

Austin just reiterated how much that isn’t my lifestyle. I needed a guy who was stable in, one place who would love me for more than just sex. I won’t lie—it was a nice night with Austin, but that was all it was. Dustin and I had shared more passion and meaning behind what we had. It was nice to be able to tell the difference. I was not going to tell him about Austin, because I didn’t feel there was need to—I won’t ever see Austin again. Then again, maybe someday I will feel I can share even that part of me with Dustin.

***

Dustin decided to take me on another date. It was a nice feeling to be going on a date with my boyfriend now that it was official. I couldn’t wait for him to show up at my door. I dressed in something casual as he told me to. I put on some light make up and curled my hair in some beach waves, which I think are a little bit more casual. My white jean skirt and green tank top fit the ensemble. I found my cowboy boots and slid those on, as well. If he wants the true me, he is going to have to learn how much I love country music. He said we were going dancing, so I think I dressed perfectly. My being away for moms’ funeral had been hard on Cooper. Evan and Abby took great care of him but I know how much he had missed me.  I plopped down on the couch and patted the side for Cooper to come sit with me. We sat together and waited patiently for Dustin to pick me up. Cooper looked sad, as he knew his momma was going to be leaving soon. He knew what having shoes on meant, and if his leash wasn’t on, he knew he wasn’t going. And some people say dogs are stupid?

There was a knock at the door, and I went to open it as Cooper beat me there wagging his tail. He had become accustomed to Dustin coming over, so he had learned to expect it.

I opened to see Dustin standing there with a rather large bouquet of flowers—pink roses were my favorite. He leaned in and embraced me in a strong hug as he smelled my hair and kissed the side of my head.

“You smell good, baby.” He kissed my lips softly.

“Sure we need to go dancing? I could totally jump you right now.” I giggled into him giving him a wicked grin.

The next thing I noticed was Abby jumping in front of the doorway with Evan.

“Double date bitches! Let’s get our dancing shoes on!” She jumped for joy. She seemed really excited, and I was actually looking forward to it.

“Surprise?” Dustin looked at me with a half-smile.

“Perfect night out!” I agreed. I gave Cooper some pets and escaped with the crew. Abby decided to drive, so we all packed into her Durango. Dustin and I sat in the backseat. He buckled me in the middle seat and pulled me close to him laying his hand on my thigh. I was pretty sure he was being a big tease right then, but that’s ok—payback is a bitch.

Abby drove away and pulled up to club M. It was a hot club that she and I had gone to way back when I first met her. This night was going to be fabulous!

We walked in, and they stamped our hands at the door. Abby went to order us some drinks, and Dustin immediately took me to the dance floor as I laughed my way all the way there.

“I’m not that good of a dancer.” I tried to play that excuse off.

“Then make a fool out of yourself with me.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me to him as he started to sway with the beat of the song. Rhianna S&M blasted over the speakers in a mix techno beat. It sounded pretty awesome, and we immediately made eye contact. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we began to grind to the music. I got lost in his eyes, and I definitely could feel his happy member poking me. It makes me wild that I could turn him on so easily. We must have been dancing for quite some time as I got so behind in time and mesmerized by him. Abby poked her head by us, “Drinks are ready, you love birds, quick dry fucking on the dance floor to Nsync, and get your asses to the bar!” She laughed and handed me a shot. A shot of what, I had no clue, but I felt I needed to take it. Dustin cheered me on, and I tipped my head back and downed it.

“What was that?” I coughed at the strong intoxication of alcohol that shot up my nose, and burned all the way down my throat.

“Tequila, baby.” She shook her chest as her boobs jiggled in my face. She then took me away from Dustin and led me to a dance of her own. Since Nsync was actually playing, I decided to dance silly with her.
Bye Bye Bye
was blaring and a few other girls danced around like crazy people reliving their Nsync teenage experiences. She shoved her booty into mine and playfully humped me across the floor as I turned around and practically did it right back to her. The guys stood off to the bar and couldn’t stop laughing. We practically caused a scene, and soon everyone circled around us and started clapping. We stood there and whipped our hands in the air as if we were tossing a rope and started to mock the dance that Nsync actually used to perform. Yes, we were being that crazy and still remembered the moves. Everyone cheered us on until the song was over, and the DJ gave us a shout out and bought us both a drink.

Dustin wrapped his arms around me as we made it back to the bar. “Free drink, my lady, what would you like?”

“Make it a captain and coke, I’m feeling brave.” I laughed and leaned up on my tiptoes to kiss him. I sank my mouth to his as once again Abby coughed to get our attention.

“Leave the poor couple alone, Abby! They’re just in love! We once were the same way, you know!” Evan laughed and glared at Abby.

“Aw, I bet you guys were adorable. I mean you still are, but stop acting like a damn old couple!” I shot Abby a glare, as well. In fact, it’s the first time in a while I’ve seen Abby dressed up.

All four of us made it onto the dance floor, and started to sway to Party Rock and got our groove on. The drinks started flowing more and more, and it seemed to me we might be calling a cab tonight. We laughed, and we laughed even harder as the night progressed. The DJ's selections just kept getting better and better, and our dancing became more erratic the more alcohol we had in us.

“Baby, I think it’s time to get you home, you’re plastered.” Dustin brought me to him and softly spoke in my ear.

“Hell, no, the party just got started!” I yelled being quite rowdy.

“Girl, this place is about to close. We closed out the damn place!” Abby yelled to me obviously overhearing Dustin.

I looked at Dustin, and glanced around as indeed everyone was heading out the door. The DJ started packing his stuff up, and I hadn’t even realized the music had stopped.

“Ok, take me home, lover.” I smiled and slurred my speech as I practically fell into Dustin’s arms as he carried me out.

Evan called a cab and took us all back to the apartment. Dustin carried me up the stairs and unlocked my door as we were greeted by Cooper trying to maneuver me into my bedroom. I was awake but not for very long.

Dustin placed me on the bed. He carefully took my clothes off and slid the blankets over me. I heard him talking to Cooper in the background, and he must be taking him out. Boy, did I love this man.

Before I knew it, the sun was blinding me through my windows. Cooper was next to me licking my face, and Dustin was MIA. I covered my eyes and grabbed Cooper next to me as I laughed at him. Oh, this hangover is going to be the worst. My head was pounding so hard, and felt as if it were coming out of my skull. Then I smelled something.

“Dustin?” I yelled from bed.

“Here, baby.” He walked from the hallway into the bedroom with a plate of food. “Good afternoon, sunshine, I made you some breakfast.”

“Afternoon?” I glanced at the clock, and holy hell, it was already noon. How in the world did I sleep that long? I looked at the plate he set in front of me as he leaned down, and kissed my lips gently.

“Thanks.”

“The toast should absorb and calm your stomach, and the water will help with your head. I know how hung-over you must be. Hope this helps, baby.”

“I’m so grateful for you, thank you.”

“Eat and get some rest, baby, I have to head out, but I’ll check on you later. I love you, Riley.”

“Love you, too.” I smiled at him..  Last night was awesome.

** CHAPTER 16 **