A Texas Holiday Miracle (15 page)

Even so, she took a sip and looked at him over the rim. “Are you freaked out yet?”

“A little,” he admitted to her surprise. “I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I know we’re both adults, but I come with a lot of baggage, and I don’t want to drag you down.”

She reached out and touched his arm. “Let me worry about that. I’m a big girl. I’ve been on a date before and in a serious relationship, so I know about pain and disillusionment.”

He dipped an Oreo into his coffee. “But...”

She groaned. “No buts.”

“The concrete people are coming today, so I better get moving.” He drained his cup and stood.

“Are you running scared?”

“You betcha. You scare the hell out of me and make me feel things I haven’t felt in years. So yeah, it makes me want to run.”

“But not too far.”

He winked and walked out the door. She finished her coffee and three Oreos. Then she got up and went to take a cold shower.

* * *

G
ABE
HURRIED
INSIDE
his house, took a shower and changed clothes. A rumble of thunder echoed, and he walked to the window to look outside. The clouds had darkened, and rain softly splattered the ground. His cell phone buzzed, and he reached for it on the bed. It was the concrete company to notify him they wouldn’t be coming because of the rain.

He stayed at the window and continued to watch. The rain would screw up his forms. He’d have to redo them tomorrow or whenever it stopped raining. The dirt around Pepper’s grave was sinking in, and he’d have to order more dirt to fill it in.

Drawing a long sigh, he went into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee. He would just as soon have it with Lacey, but being around her was getting harder and harder. Most of the time he was frustrated, because the feelings between them were getting hotter and hotter. Soon he’d have to make up his mind about what he wanted to do: love her or admit they had no future.

He turned and saw the photos of Zack on the wall. Most of the time he would stop and look at them and remember the day each photo was taken and remember all the love and happiness that had filled his heart. But he couldn’t live in the past. He already knew that.

He marched to his bedroom and pulled his briefcase out of the closet. It was empty because he’d left all of his work on his desk the day he’d left his law firm. He took it into the kitchen and laid it on the table. One by one he took down the photos. He didn’t study them or remember. It was just as Lacey had said. All those memories were in his heart and they always would be. When the briefcase was full, he carried it back to his room and stored it in the closet. Tomorrow he’d work on the ones in the living room. First, he’d have to find something to put them in.

Ironically, as the rain continued to tap against the windows he didn’t feel sad. He felt a release, a freedom—a freedom to move forward with his life without guilt. Without regrets. Without pain.

But he would take it slow, just as he’d told Lacey to do so many times. In the days ahead he would know what his future held.

Chapter Fifteen

On Wednesday, Lacey dashed over to Gabe’s for a minute. The night before, he’d worked late on the shed after they had poured the concrete to make sure no stray dogs or cats or birds could mess up his work. Emma had gone over and written her name in the wet cement with a stick. But Lacey had had no time alone with him.

Gabe wasn’t outside, which was a surprise. She knocked on the door and he opened it immediately with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Morning,” he said. “Would you like a cup?” She didn’t need coffee. All she had to do was look at him and the warm fuzzies started.

“No, thanks. I’m on my way back to the school with cupcakes and stuff for the classroom party.” She walked in and he closed the door. “It’s the last week of school before the holidays and Mrs. Fillmore has roped me into doing all kinds of things. I just wanted to tell you that we won’t be home this evening. We have the last rehearsal for the program on Friday. I’m thinking of dressing as an elf in green Lycra.”

“Now, I’d go to see that.”

She moved closer to him. “Would you?”

“You bet.” The line of his lower lip curved into a smile and she had the urge to kiss it and to never stop. Instead, she moved into his arms.

He placed his cup on the counter and enveloped her in his warm embrace, and she floated away on that feeling.

“You feel so good,” she whispered.

He took a step back. “We’d better stop because you have to go to school. Remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Mrs. Fillmore.”

He tucked her hair behind her ear and then touched the frown on her face. “What’s bothering you?”

She heaved a sigh. “Emma’s friend Bailey is having a birthday/slumber party on Friday night and she’s invited Emma. That’s a problem. Since Dad passed away, Emma hasn’t been away from me except to go to school. She’s all excited about it, but I’m just not sure. I feel she’s too little to stay away at night.”

“Then say no.”

“But... I can’t believe I’m saying
but.
”

He cupped her face in his hands and she lost all train of thought. “Don’t think it to death. Things might change by Friday, but if she wants to go I would support her and encourage her. She’s improved so much.”

She rested her face against his chest and stared at a blank wall. Then she pulled back quickly. “The photos are gone.”

“I took them down the other day. It was time. I still have the ones in the living room, but I intend to take them down, too.”

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. “I’m so proud of you.”

He held her against him, and their emotions began to swirl into another direction. Lacey pulled away. “I really have to go. I don’t want to, but...” She laughed.

He laughed with her. It was an effort to leave him. The grouchy man had disappeared and in his place stood a man who was becoming more and more a part of her life. She didn’t freak out. And neither did he. That was the good part. Christmas was going to be wonderful.

* * *

L
ACEY
MADE
IT
through the week. The children’s program went off with a few glitches, but they were six-year-olds so everyone laughed and understood. All the kids, including Emma, were eager to be out of school for the holiday. She chatted on and on about Bailey’s party. Lacey had decided to let her go. She had talked to Bailey’s mother and the woman understood the situation and had said she would call if Emma became distressed.

But Emma appeared fine as she marched to the front door with her little suitcase in hand. Bailey and her mother stood there. Emma waved and Lacey had to force herself to drive away. What if Emma needed her?

Go slow. Don’t obsess.
She repeated the words several times until she felt better.

She kept her cell phone in her pocket as she fixed dinner for her and Gabe. It was going to be special. She’d gotten the menu of salmon, fresh asparagus and roasted potatoes from the internet.

Gabe was outside framing the shed. It wasn’t long before he knocked at her back door and came in. When she saw him, the spoon in her hand clattered to the tiled floor. She hardly recognized him. He’d cut his hair into a neat, short style. She could only stare. He was clean shaven and his hair was damp from a shower. He’d made an effort for tonight, and her pulse soared at the thought. His dark good looks and light blue shirt held her attention. It was the first time she’d seen him in any color other than black.

She smiled at him. “Love the look.”

He touched his head. “I braved the barbershop again and it wasn’t so bad. I found this shirt in my closet.” He slid onto a bar stool. “How did it go with Emma?”

“So far so good.” Lacey picked up the spoon from the floor and put it in the sink. “I’m the only one feeling a little stressed. I just don’t want her to panic when she realizes I’m not there.”

“If that happens, someone will call you.”

She placed some cheese and grapes in front of him. “I’ve figured that out. So I’m trying to relax.” She reached for the bottle of wine on the counter and handed it to him. “And looking forward to relaxing a little more.”

“I see.”

They drank wine, talked, ate and enjoyed just being together. They cleaned the kitchen and then took their wine to the living room. A college-bowl game was on television and Gabe wanted to watch.

“You like football?” she asked.

“Doesn’t every guy?”

She curled into his side, trying to show interest in the game, but with his body so close that was impossible. She picked up his hand and linked her fingers with his bigger ones.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.” He looked at her then.

“How do you see this night ending?”

“I’m hoping the Tigers will win,” he said, deadpan.

“Um...I’m not talking about the game. I...” He pushed her down on the sofa and her voice trailed off.

“Your lips need a little red.”

She giggled like a silly schoolgirl.

His lips met hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck, reveling in his touch and the feel of him. His hand slid beneath her sweater to her breast, creating a vibrating need within her.

“Too many clothes,” he breathed. With one swift movement he stood and swept her into his arms.

As he headed for the hallway, she said, “First door on the left.”

They didn’t bother with the light. She slid from his arms, their bodies never losing contact. Clothes became an encumbrance and soon they were scattered on the floor as they frantically helped each other. His boots took more time to shed than either of them wanted. A bubble of laughter erupted as they fell onto the bed, arms and legs entwined. This was the way it should be. Warm skin. Male skin. So rough. So enticing. So what she needed.

“Lacey...” His ragged voice seemed to come from far away, but she heard the question in it.

“Don’t think,” she whispered. “Please.”

His lips left the well of her mouth and trailed to her breast, and she wanted to scream from the sheer bliss of his breath on her sensitive nipple. His hands touched every part of her while hers were equally at work on him. Her fingers found the taut muscles of his arms, shoulders, rib cage and then moved lower. She’d never touched anything as heavenly as his aroused body.

It could have been seconds, minutes or an hour before his body finally joined with hers. All she knew was it was the most exquisite pleasure she’d ever experienced. She welcomed him with a fever that brought them both to the brink of total ecstasy.

Somewhere between need and the ecstasy, she moaned, “I love you.”

He stilled for a moment, but didn’t say the words back. She hadn’t expected them, but she had to admit it hurt a little. The sting vanished as he gathered her into his arms and rocked her gently. They lay entwined, their bodies bathed in sweat, their breathing less labored. Lacey didn’t want to ever move again. She wanted this moment to last forever, with their skin touching and the world unable to intrude and ruin the moment.

A nagging chime roused her. Her cell phone! She jumped from bed and reached for it in the pocket of her jeans on the floor. It was Bailey’s mother.

She quickly clicked on and glanced at the clock. It was barely 8:00 p.m. “Hello.”

“Lacey, it’s Denise. I hate to bother you, but I think Emma wants to come home. She’s said about four times that it’s dark and Lacey is probably scared.”

“Can I talk to her, please?”

Emma came on the line quickly. “Hi, Lacey.”

“You want to come home, sweetie?”

“Yes.” No hesitation. No doubt.

“I’ll be right there.”

“It’s dark, Lacey.”

“I know. Get your suitcase. I’m on my way.”

Lacey hurriedly slipped into jeans and pulled her top over her head.

Gabe sat up in bed. “Is Emma okay?”

“She just wants to come home. I’ll be right back.” She started for the door and then turned. “Please don’t overthink what I said. We’ll talk about it later.”

Within seconds, she was in the car and backing out of the driveway. She so badly wanted to go back inside and be with Gabe, but Emma pulled her in another direction. Emma was more important this time.

* * *

G
ABE
SCOOTED
TO
the edge of the bed and ran his hands over his face. What had he done? He’d gone with his feelings, but now it felt wrong. Lacey loved him, and that wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t ready. He needed her, but need wasn’t love. Oh, man. He’d screwed up and now he had to hurt her. That would kill him.

He found his clothes and slipped into them. In the kitchen, he poured the little bit of wine that was left down the drain, washed the wineglasses and put them away. He went out the back door and to his house. As he entered, loneliness engulfed him and a smothering feeling came over him. He took a couple of deep breaths. His chest ached and his emotions were raw.

He should’ve thought the situation over a little more, but he’d wanted her. At the time that had been all that had mattered. But now her emotions were involved and his were still steeped in the past. He’d come a long way, but he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship. Lacey should have a man who could love her for who she really was, not a man who was still struggling to get through each day. Now he would have to step back and disappear from her life. But he didn’t know how to do that. Breaking her heart would also break his. He needed her, but he didn’t love her the way she deserved.

How did he tell her that?

* * *

I
T
STARTED
TO
drizzle as Lacey parked in front of Bailey’s house. The umbrella was somewhere, but she didn’t take time to look for it. Emma was standing at the front door in her pj’s, her suitcase in hand. Denise stood behind her.

Lacey jumped out, ran up the walk, spoke to Denise and lifted Emma into her arms. Without another word she ran to the car as the rain started in earnest. She put Emma in her booster seat and dashed to the driver’s side.

Emma didn’t say anything as Lacey drove the three blocks to their house. As she parked in the garage, she noticed that Emma was sound asleep. She lifted her out of the car and carried her into the house. Emma awoke as Lacey tucked her into bed.

“It’s raining,” Emma murmured.

“Yes, it is, but you’re safe at home.”

“I wasn’t scared,” Emma stated.

Lacey kissed her sister’s forehead. “I know, sweetie. Go to sleep.”

Thunder rumbled outside and Emma jumped. “Sleep with me for a while, Lacey.”

She was torn between going to her room to see if Gabe was still there or assuaging her sister’s fears. The sensible part of her brain told her Gabe would have left long ago. “I have to get out of these wet clothes. I’ll be right back.”

“Lacey?”

Pulling a big T-shirt over her head, Lacey called back, “I’m coming.”

She climbed in with Emma and cuddled with her. In seconds, Emma was asleep again.

When Emma became restless, Lacey slipped from the bed and made her way to her room. She grabbed the pillow Gabe’s head had been on and curled up. Thunder continued to echo and lightning occasionally streaked across the sky. The tip-tap of the rain against the window lulled her to sleep.

Before she succumbed completely, she relived their night together. It had been more than she’d ever expected. She hadn’t meant to say “I love you.” The words had just slipped out in the heat of the moment. She had to make sure Gabe realized she didn’t expect anything from him. But in her heart she knew she was lying. Her expectations might surprise him, though. Having him around was enough for her. Her responsibility to Emma would prevent her from having a life of her own for a while. Gabe made her life a little brighter, and she hoped he understood that. The way she felt about him could cause some problems, because she knew he wasn’t ready for any type of love.

Why not?
The question echoed through her mind as darkness claimed her.

* * *

T
HE
NEXT
MORNING
,
Lacey overslept. It was after nine when she woke up with Gabe’s pillow in her arms. Baby sis was sound asleep, too. Lacey had cereal and a banana ready when Emma climbed onto the stool, brushing hair from her face. She’d slept rough and her hair was everywhere.

“I don’t like it when it’s dark,” Emma said.

“I know, sweetie. Eat your cereal.”

Lacey’s phone buzzed and she picked it up from the counter. It was Denise.

“I’m so sorry about last night.”

Lacey walked into the living room so her sister couldn’t hear. “It’s okay. I had my doubts that she would stay.”

“When the thunder started, all the little girls wanted to go home and Bailey was disappointed. So today we’re having a big party with pedicures and manicures and princess gowns with an old-fashioned tea party. It’s going to be fun, and we’d like for Emma to come back. The other girls are coming back, too.”

“I’ll talk to her and let you know.” She hung up the phone. “Sweetie, that was Bailey’s mother. They’re having the party today with all kinds of fun stuff. They want to know if you want to join them.”