A Ton of Crap (66 page)

Sounds of the Language
The Japanese language does not have any diphthongs. Instead, it is composed of monophthongs, meaning the vowels in the language are pure. There are five vowels in Japanese —
a
,
i
,
u
,
o
, and
e
— and each has a long and short form. Most of the syllables in Japanese end with a vowel sound. Japanese has a pitched accent, meaning pitch falls following the syllable that is accented.

THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS

Bridget Bishop
On May 27, 1692, a special court was established. The first trial was that of Bridget Bishop. When she was asked if she had committed witchcraft, Bishop said, “I am as innocent as the child unborn.” She was found guilty, and on June 10, she was hanged; the first of the Salem executions for witchcraft.

POETRY

Narrative Poetry
Narrative poetry is like a story because it has a plot, but it is told in verse form. These include epic poems, ballads, and idylls. Narrative poems can be long or short, intricate and complex or more simple. They usually are nondramatic and have a regular meter. One example of a narrative poem is
The Canterbury Tales
by Geoffrey Chaucer.

PRECALCULUS

Quadratics
Polynomials that follow the pattern
ax
2 + 
bx
 + 
c
have a special name. These are called quadratics. To factor quadratics, you need to find numbers that when multiplied equal
c
, but when added equal
b
. For example:

x
2 + 
6
x + 8

You first break it down into two sets to multiply:

(
x
 + ?) (
x
 + ?)

Then plug in numbers and test:

(
x
 + 4) (
x
 + 
²
) = 
x
2 + 2
x
 + 4
x
 + 8 = 
x
²
 + 6
x
 + 8

Therefore, your answer is: (
x
 + 4) (
x
 + 2)

ISAAC NEWTON

Newton’s Second Law of Motion
Newton’s second law explains how when pushed or pulled, an object’s velocity will change. Newton states that if one puts force on an object, its acceleration, or velocity, will change in the direction you force it to. The acceleration is directly proportional to force (if you push twice as hard on something, it goes twice as fast). The acceleration is inversely proportional to the mass. His second law can be summarized as
F
 = 
ma
, where
F
is force,
m
is mass, and
a
is acceleration.

JAPANESE

Politeness
There is a very complex system in the Japanese language when dealing with the issue of politeness, and at least four different levels of how to address a person. How to address someone is based on a variety of factors such as age, job, and experience, and there is even a different form of politeness when asking someone for a favor. There are differences between the polite language, teineigo, the respectful language, sonkeigo, and the humble language, kenjōgo, as well as differences between honorific and humble forms.

THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS

The Trials
Five days after the hanging of Bridget Bishop, a respected minister requested that the court not allow testimony about dreams and visions. His request was ignored, and in July, five more people were hanged. Another eleven more were hanged and some, like Giles Corey, were tortured to death. A total of nineteen people were killed.

POETRY

Epic Poetry
Epic poems are longer narrative poems, and are usually centered around a hero and details of his heroic journey and deeds. Epics have a history in oral poetry, but even as far back as ancient Greece, these types of poems have been written. One of the most famous epic poems was the
Odyssey
by Homer, which followed Odysseus’s journey back home following the Trojan War.

PRECALCULUS

Completing the Square
Some quadratic equations cannot be factored. To solve these, a method called completing the square is used. This turns
ax
²
 + 
bx
 + 
c
into
ax
²
 + 
bx
 + 
c
 = (
a
 + 
b
)
²
.

For example:

x
²
 + 2
x
 + 1 = 0

Begin by transposing the constant term

x
²
 + 2
x
 = -1

Then you have to add a square to both sides. To do so, you have to take half of coefficient of
x
and then square it. So, half of 2 is 1, and then 1
²
is 1.

x
²
 + 2
x
 + 1 = -1 + 1

x
²
 + 2
x
 + 1 = 0

Now you have (
x
 + 1) (
x
 + 1) = 0

Break these up into two individual problems:

x
 + 1 = 0 and
x
 + 1 = 0

Solve for
x
. In both cases,
x
equals -1. Your answer will go in brackets and look like this:

{-1, -1}

ISAAC NEWTON