Authors: Leah Clifford
Tags: #Social Issues, #Love & Romance, #Eschatology, #Angels & Spirit Guides, #Body; Mind & Spirit, #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #Fiction, #Religion, #Horror & Ghost Stories, #Angels, #Dead, #Future life, #General, #Religious, #Demonology, #Death & Dying
“I
’ll take whatever’s most expensive, please.” Eden handed the menu back to the waiter without opening it, waiting for Az’s reaction.
“Actually, now that you mention it”—he didn’t break her gaze as he returned his own menu—“expensive sounds wonderful. I’ll have the same.” When the waiter retreated, Az leaned over the table, lowering his voice. “Out of curiosity, what are we eating?”
Eden shifted forward. “I have no idea.”
Az laughed, pulling back and draping his arm across the back of the booth. “So, awkward, but you haven’t told me your name.”
A list of fakes scrolled through her mind, but in the end she figured the least she could do was give him her real one.
“Your name is Eden?” The grin slid away. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, go ahead and get the forbidden garden comment out of your system. And no matter what witty snake joke you’re considering? Trust me, I’ve heard it.”
“Gabriel’s going to have a field day with this one,” he muttered.
Eden startled as the waiter dropped a basket of bread onto the table. She waited for him to elaborate, but instead Az took a slice and buttered it as she peeled the wrapper from her straw, dunking it into her glass of ice water.
Eden eyed him over the bread basket and grabbed a roll.
What happened between us on the beach?
The question bobbled around her head, but she couldn’t bring herself to voice it. Not yet, anyway. “So I assume you’re on vacation? Couldn’t afford to go somewhere good?” she asked. At least it would tell her what he was doing here, how long he’d be in town.
“Jersey’s far enough away for us to relax, but I can get back to the city.” Az unwrapped his silverware slowly. “We.” He paused. “We can get back to the city if we need to.” His fingers slid down the hem of the napkin, straightening it before he dropped it to his lap.
Eden stared at him, her knife dipping into the unwrapped pad of butter. “The ‘we’ would be you and Gabriel? So you go to school together?”
Az shifted. “Kind of.”
“College?” He didn’t answer. Maybe he’d dropped out.
Great
, she thought.
The guy’s got one touchy subject and you zero right in on it.
“Things have been crazy lately. We needed a vacation. So you live here?”
Subject change. Thank God. Eden sipped her drink before giving him a sarcastic smile. “Lucky enough to be stuck here year-round!”
Az looked surprised. “Are you kidding me? It’s gorgeous here.”
“Sweatshirts in August aren’t gorgeous.”
“True. But you can’t let a little rain ruin your fun.” He caught her eye across the table, smiling. “Besides, it cleared up just in time for things to get interesting.” She felt a blush creep up her neck, her face growing hot. Az glanced over her shoulder. “Looks like our mystery dinner is coming,” he said, sweeping his bread plate to the side. “I hope you’re in the mood for…” He trailed off, pausing as the waiter set down the plate. “Lobster tails.”
“You’re not allergic to shellfish or anything, are you?” she asked.
“Nope.”
“Good, because that would have been a deal breaker. Their lobster’s pricey, but it’s to die for,” Eden said, taking up her own fork. Az cocked his head, his jaw dropping a bit.
“Here I thought we were on this grand adventure into spontaneity.” His eyes danced. “You knew what we were having the whole time, didn’t you?”
“I live here. You think I don’t know what they serve?” Eden smiled.
Tinfoil swan of leftovers tucked under her arm, Eden stepped through the door Az held open. A thrill jolted through her when his hand touched her back, guiding her past him.
The temperature had dropped while they were in the restaurant, the cold air rousing her a bit from her food coma. When they reached the boardwalk, Az turned to her.
“I should get going,” he said. “Gabriel’s probably hungry.” He held up the dinner he’d ordered to go, but didn’t move, almost seemed to hesitate.
She nodded, shifting to lean against the railing, struggling to think of something to say, an excuse to keep him there. “Thank you, for convincing me to come,” she said finally. “I was having kind of a shitty night.”
“Me too.” Az tapped the heel of his hand against the bag he held. “It’s been a while since I had one this good.” Something in his gaze stopped her from calling him out for how cheerful he’d been on the beach, made her take him at his word. She wondered how he managed to hide it so well. “You know, I’m gonna be in town for a while.” He
pulled his phone from his pocket. Eden took it from him, entered her number.
“There,” she said handing it back. “Maybe sometime we can go for the least expensive thing on the menu.”
He laughed, tucking the phone away. “You buying that round?” She rolled her eyes.
He reached for her, his hand cupping around the back of her neck, easing her toward him. Eden’s heart jumped at the sudden touch of his fingers. She closed her eyes, her body rocking forward, anticipating the kiss.
It never came. She opened her eyes, and he pulled back another inch, face lit up with his smile. “I’ll call you soon, okay?” he said, and turned away without another word.
Eden stepped back, the railing hitting her spine. She tried to find a snappy comeback but nothing came quick enough as he retreated into the crowd.
Who pays for dinner and then just bolts?
She couldn’t figure it out. And then pulling out of a kiss
he
initiated? Who the hell was this guy?
Her cell phone rang. She yanked it from her pocket, taking a second to check the caller ID before she put it to her ear. The number wasn’t one in her call list.
“Just wanted to make sure the number wasn’t a fake,” Az said.
She couldn’t help her bitter laugh. “Well, you can go
ahead and erase it. A bit of advice? Either kiss a girl or don’t. Never stop halfway through.” She pulled the phone away, her finger already heading for the End button when his voice came through the speaker.
“Didn’t want to risk it.”
She lifted the phone again. “Risk kissing me? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”
“Had to leave you wanting more. That way you’ll say yes when I ask you out again.”
A thrill passed through her, the same she’d felt on the beach. But she kept a flicker of sarcasm in her voice. “You’re kind of an asshole, you know that, right?”
He laughed before his voice grew serious. “You do something to me.” She heard his pause as he struggled for words. “It kinda freaks me out a bit. But I like it.”
Her breath seemed to stall before she found it again. “Me too.”
“Plus, if you see me again? I can almost
guarantee
I’ll kiss you,” he added.
“If I let you,” she teased.
“Hey now,” he said, sounding hurt. “Be fair. I earned it. That was an expensive lobster.”
She burst out laughing. “My kisses don’t come cheap, lover boy, but they are very worth it.” She snapped the phone shut.
Always leave them wanting more
, she thought smiling. She’d have to thank him for the advice.
H
e’s
kissing a dead girl.
Gabriel dove again as a wave crashed against his back, letting the momentum carry him a few feet closer to the shore. On the beach, Eden and Az were on a blanket, tangled around each other.
You have to tell him
, Gabriel thought.
“But she’s not dead yet,” he grated out in a harsh whisper.
Even now her laughter mixed with the crash of the ocean. He twisted sideways as another swell pounded past and she waved at him as if she’d never been happier to be alive. Gabriel forced his hand up, rocked it once before letting it drop back to the water, and waded to shore.
Where is she hiding it?
he thought. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Would she fade into skin and bones, die from the inside first? He had no clue what a girl was supposed to look like before she killed herself. She was going to sooner or later, of that much Gabriel was certain.
He dropped onto the blanket and toweled off. He should have told Az the second he’d gotten back from Upstairs. He’d put off checking her path too long anyway. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Az so happy, not having to struggle against the Fall. He couldn’t deny it had to do with Eden. And now it was all going to end.
Eden grinned. Her skin glistened with sunscreen, tan and healthier than she’d looked two weeks ago. Summer was almost gone.
“Gonna come with us?” she asked. “We’re getting something to eat.”
Gabriel shook his head.
She leaned toward him, her voice falling to a conspiratorial whisper. “We can check out the hot boys in the arcade?”
He couldn’t meet her eyes. Scoping out boys on the boardwalk, after Az had fallen asleep, even the stupid judge shows they hated to love. Everything would eventually be labeled “the last time.” He couldn’t bring himself to start counting down yet. Telling Az would be terrible enough. “I’m suffering from a lack of awesome today. Think I’ll sit out this time.”
Eden groaned in mock frustration, scooting away. “Ugh! You’re killing me, Gabe!” He startled before he could stop himself.
“Everything okay?” Az asked.
Gabriel forced himself to meet Az’s eyes.
“Can you give us a minute? I’ll text you when I’m on my way, okay?” He wasn’t sure what Az saw, what he gave away, but it was enough.
Az reached for her hand, led her a few steps away. From behind him, Gabriel heard the soft sound of their kiss, broken fragments of her concern for him.
Gabriel kept his head hung when Az dropped onto the blanket next to him, face hidden behind his blond curls. For once he was glad he’d let them shag out, though he’d spent the last month bitching about the lack of New York–quality stylists.
“What’s up?” Az asked, pulling up his knees, throwing an arm out behind him for balance.
Gabriel raised his head, staring off into the water, eyes focused far past the horizon. The knot of dread tightened in his stomach.
“I went Upstairs last night.” He turned toward Az as he spoke, watching for the reaction. A shiver passed across Az’s shoulders.
Az forced his face into a mask of nonchalance. “You didn’t mention you were going Upstairs.”
“Because it bothers you,” Gabriel said quietly.
Az scoffed. “You’re Bound. I’m not. I hardly think of that place at all.” His voice stayed casual, but the rest of
him failed miserably. He blinked hard, as if it would be enough to hide the rusted tinge to his irises, the anger turning their color. His shoulders were rigid, his hands clenched into fists.
Gabriel turned back to the water. “Az, it’s about Eden.”
“No!” Az jumped to his feet. “This time is different! I can feel it, Gabriel. I don’t care what she was
supposed
to be doing.” People were staring, Frisbees falling forgotten. Gabriel felt sick. Az had never shown up on a mortal’s path. Every relationship he’d been in, he’d been crushed when the girl left him, going back to the path she was meant to be traveling. Only twice had they not. Luke had gotten to them first.
Gabriel bit his lip, hoping the pain would keep the tears unshed. He wouldn’t let that happen. “Az, it’s worse.” His vision blurred. “She’s…”
“What do you mean ‘worse’?”
“She has no path.” Gabriel said quietly. The words crackled in the air between them. Out on the water a gull screamed. The color drained from Az’s face, his shoulders dropping.
“You made a mistake, then,” Az said. “Just because she doesn’t have a path doesn’t mean—”
Gabriel cut him off with a shake of his head. “You know what it means.” He stayed silent as anguish flooded Az’s face.
“Eden’s not one of them. She’s not a Sider.” Az glared, no longer repressing the red flare in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” It was all Gabriel could think of to say. He focused on the corner of the blanket, peeling it back. Underneath, the sand was cool and damp against his fingers.
“You knew,” Az spat. Gabriel looked up in surprise.
“No, Az. I swear.”
“So, what? We came all the way to fucking Jersey to get away from your obsession with the Suiciders and you just
happened
to stumble on her?” He drew a breath, choked the words out between clenched teeth. “You pointed her out to me. Did you set me up?”
“I didn’t know. She was so sad. I thought you would cheer her up, but then…” His mouth dropped open as the realization hit him. “Oh, God. She was planning it out.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The night we met her, I caught her thoughts.” He swallowed hard. “It was like she was screaming for help. I figured she was just depressed but, Az, I think she was deciding to do it. To kill herself.”
“Maybe we just changed what was supposed to happen? So she was suicidal. She’s not now. We saved her.”
“If she was killing herself she’d still have a path. That’s a mortal death.” Gabriel glanced up. “Without a path, there’s nothing to change. Maybe we’ve delayed it, but it’s
her fate, Az.”
Gabriel caught the change in Az’s eyes even before his breathing went shallow, was on his feet when the color of his eyes shifted to bruised purple. Only half Fallen, Az struggled to keep from going full. The prospect of losing Eden had tipped him, darkened his thoughts.
“Did I do this? Did I mess up her path?” Az stopped dead, his sudden stillness disconcerting.
Gabriel softened his voice. “Of course not. This isn’t your fault.” Az knew a Bound angel couldn’t lie, but when he looked up his eyes hadn’t lightened.
“What if me being with her took her off?”
“You can’t affect paths that way. It’s impossible.”
“A Sider.” Gabriel heard the change in Az’s voice. “She has no path.” He paused. “So I’m not taking her away from anything. That’s why she hasn’t left me. Right?”
Gabriel winced.
“And when she becomes a Sider, we can be together.”
Gabriel forced a deep breath, wishing the salty air would dry him out inside, make this hurt less. “This isn’t a good thing, Az.”
“Why not?” The ache in his voice was painful to hear. “I think I love her, Gabriel. I didn’t mean to. I know it puts her in danger, but I can’t lose her. She makes me happy.”
Gabriel managed a smile. “I know.” He hesitated, not wanting to set Az off again.
“Isn’t this what
you’ve
wanted?” Az asked. “To find a Sider that hadn’t gone through the change yet?”
Gabriel followed his lead, changing the subject. “Well, yes. But not Eden. I don’t want her to be a Sider at all.” He yanked his hand through his hair, the blond curls springing back into place. “They’re cursed.”
“You’re sure there’s no way to stop it?” Az asked. He turned, searching the boardwalk above for Eden.
“I don’t think so.” Gabriel rubbed his temples. The throbbing there was getting worse by the second. “What are we gonna do? We can’t do this by ourselves. The Bound don’t know about the Siders, so I can’t consult Upstairs.”
“Kristen?”
Gabriel’s mouth opened, a dozen protests clustering before he closed it. The idea wasn’t entirely bad. Still, Az’s reply had been more question than answer, and with good reason. Kristen was one of the first Suiciders. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t help; she owed him more favors than Az would ever know. The problem was, well, it was Kristen. Worse, she was the best option.
“I’ll head to the Bronx tomorrow. See what she says.”