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Authors: Rachel Thompson

Tags: #Humour, #Contemporary, #Non-Fiction

A Walk in the Snark

BOOK: A Walk in the Snark
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A WALK IN THE SNARK

 

THE BEST OF @RachelintheOC

 


Sometimes I think I’m too jaded. But then I think no, it’s just the lighting.”

 

 

 

by Rachel Thompson

 

***

 

Early praise for A Walk In The Snark

 

 

 


The author's wicked sense of humor sprinkles everyday stories of relationship angst with spicy hot pepper with keeping it real adventure.”

 

Bonnie Jean Adams
Chicago Culture and Events Examiner

 

 

 

 

 


I love the Mancode and Chickspeak; and the D-List (serious) portions create a very intense and tender balance between the light and dark of life. I loved it.”

 

Amber Scott
Author of
Love Lust
Contributing Editor at 1st Turning Point

 

 

 

 

 


A WALK IN THE SNARK" - a collection of Rachel's best stuff, should be at the top of your ‘recommended readin' list for you and your guymanperson. Maybe it should even be a required reading "manual" for marriage. I'm pretty sure it could solve ALL the problems couples face, stop global warming and result in a true and lasting world peace. If nothing else it'll make you think, laugh, think, and laugh some more.”

 

Daniel Audet
Author,
The Writer’s Road

 

 

 

 

 


The first time I came across her blog I found myself reading post after post and laughing the whole time. This book is no different. Read this book.”

 

Shelly Aucoin, Reviewer
A Girl And Her Blog

 

 

 

 

 


Crisp, cutting and caffeinated. A gem of a read.”

 

Rebecca Tsaros Dickson
Author of
I Could Tell You Stories
Editor-in-Chief of Indie Ink

 

 

 

 

 


Rachel lends her trademark sardonic wit in full ebook format. A Walk In The Snark is her don’t miss look at the relationship between men and women.”

 

Liz Borino
Author of
Expectations
and
What Money Can’t Buy

 

 

 

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A Walk in the Snark
hit #1 on the Kindle Motherhood list, in competition with other well known books by Jenny McCarthy, Tori Spelling and Sarah, the Duchess of York. It has also hit #3 under Humor/Parenting and Families, #11 on Humor/Essays and #51 on Humor Overall. It has also been #1 on Smashwords under Humor and Satire.

 

 

 

 

 

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Table of Contents

 

More Books by Rachel

 

Contact Information

 

Copyright Information

 

 

 

***

 


When you become a mom, you instantly become a bitch.
It’s the fatigue, of course. But also the crumbs. #mygodthecrumbs”

 

Introduction to Rachel in the OC

 

I’m a chick who writes stuff that makes you laugh. My blog has been nominated for Funniest Blog this year. I’ve also been nominated for 2010 Top 50 Twitter Moms (@Babble) which I don’t know, kinda seems like a contradiction in terms to me (was kind of glad I didn’t win that one, to be honest). And I recently won Top Twitter Person of 2010 on the @Top10Blog, which is totally cool—thanks to all five who voted for me.

 

I’ve been told I write in the style of that Dickens guy. Kidding.

 

I’m a mom, a wife, and a recovering pharmaceuticals rep. It’s been a long process but I’m doing okay, thanks.

 

I also used to sell Trojan brand condoms. Yeah, it’s hilarious, I know. I did it for three years way back when, and I was their top salesperson in the Western Region, a dubious honor at best. My number-one customer was the Mustang Ranch. No, seriously.
The
Mustang Ranch. I couldn’t make stuff like that up.

 

The experience definitely gave me insights into the… er… ins and outs of men.

 

So it should come as no great surprise that I write about how men (The Mancode) and women (Chickspeak) approach most things differently. And since I did, in fact, grow past my Trojan days (in more ways than one or—insert your own joke here), I’ve thrown in a few tidbits about marriage, kids, being a mom, living in the OC (ya know–being a pale redhead living in a sea of blondes), coffee, and vodka. Not necessarily in that order depending on the day.

 

Don’t read this book to find advice about how to be sweet or nice. I’m pretty much allergic to both of those words. Actually don’t read this book for advice on anything. (My lawyer made me put that in just in case, you know, you thought I could save your marriage or something – not).

 

Or if you are looking for some light, heartfelt humor in everyday life (Erma Bombeck-style), well, I’m really not your girl, either. Mostly I just laugh at stuff and make up words (See “Refrigeratoritis and Manesia.”) Yet somehow it all seems to work.

 

And don’t call me cute. (Hint: Babies and puppies are cute. Grown women are soooo not.)

 

Special note to men: I write frequently about “The Mancode”—like how you guys do goofy stuff and we women try, and often fail, to understand. (Um, change the toilet paper roll much? Yeah, that’s what I thought.) If that offends your sensibilities, this may not be the book for you. Yeah, I’m crushed.

 

Like everyone, I’ve also had some rough times. I share those with you, too. Life can’t always be martinis and beaches. Wait, this is the OC (Orange County, CA, for those of you from Canada, or people on the East Coast who don’t know California). Naw, not even here.

 

So, welcome to RachelintheOC.

 

Now go read an essay or two and find something to laugh at, would ya?

 

I have to go help my husband find the butter.
Again.

 

***

 


The Bait & Switch technique is illegal. Hmm. Correct me if I’m wrong…
but isn’t that called...marriage?”

 

Introduction to “Men vs. Women, Deconstructed”

 

When I started writing the Mancode pieces, it was pretty easy, to be honest.

 

In my mind, it was about the goofy stuff guys do and how we chicks interpret them, and that interplay. Hard drives vs. sex drives. Our need for more shoes vs. their need for well, geek stuff from thinkgeek.com. Straightforward, right?

 

Turns out, not so much.

 

People talk about the Mancode in a lot of different ways.

 

There’s the
Maxim
mag Mancode, the single guy’s “if you date your best friend’s ex-wife, don’t tell him about it, you idiot,” kind of thing; or “never sit right next to your best male friend in a movie theater” nonsense. Highbrow stuff.

 

Then there are a few very serious Mancode tomes out. And I mean, very serious. Like I was not aware it was an insult to my femininity if a guy walked on my right side. You know that gentlemen must always open doors for their ladies (which brings up a whole other problem… um… what if I’m a not a lady), and watch girlie movies without complaint (so
that’s
what guys are supposed to do—read the manual!). Duh!

 

Needless to say, my posts and tweets about men’s—let’s say “odd”—behavior, sparked quite a bit of debate, which rocked. I also received a lot of terrific feedback from men on my Twitter stream and blog, who asked me for some interpretation—why do chicks not say what we mean?

 

Men were confused. Is there a special code? Was there an AP class in high school they should have taken in order to understand women better? (Yeah, probably.) Why do women set their watches differently than men? Why do we speak in shoes?

 

So, I branched out into my series of Chickspeak pieces and “Deconstructed” articles, in the hopes that readers of all types—single, married, male, or female—could have further insights into our foreign-girl species.

 

That’s about when the attorney cautioned me that people might use my book as legal advice; I figure that if someone rearranges the days of the week (See “Days of the Week, Deconstructed”) after reading that section of the book, well, they probably need more help than I do, buddy. Please prove me right!

 

***

 

SECTION 1
MEN VS. WOMEN, DECONSTRUCTED

 

MEN ARE FROM
SEINFELD
, WOMEN ARE FROM
FRIENDS
:
AN INTRODUCTION TO THE MANCODE

 

I get asked all the time about the genesis of The Mancode. Really, it’s simple: I just got tired of having to change the toilet paper roll—for eighteen freakin’ years.

 

 

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