A Wedding In the Family (13 page)

“I don’t know,” she stated honestly. With a quick turn, she put distance between them and stepped out of the narrow bathroom. “Why did Patty have to show up now?” Tears burned her eyes, but not in sadness. She was angry. At Patty, at Dan, at Adam, at men and their stupid rescue attempts. “I think you should go,” she added quickly, thoughtlessly, as she
walked back toward the living room. Her heart was thundering and the undeniable bond between them still threatened to overwhelm her. “Go—before this turns into something more than I can handle.”

“Like what? A loving relationship with a man who wants you?” he asked, his voice deadly quiet. He’d thought this before, but hadn’t wanted to say it to her so plainly. Now it seemed to be the one thing that needed to be said. “Are you still so affected by the fact that Dan left you for another woman?”

“No!” she replied, surprised at his remark.

“I’m sorry that he’s dead, Angela, or at least, God help me, I’m trying to be. But he’s not here for you to win back and redeem your self-worth.”

Angela laughed, stunned by his comment. “Win him back? Do you think that’s what I’d want to do?” Adam had no idea how off-course his thinking was. How could she explain to him how little she and Dan had come to mean to each other?

“Yes,” Adam answered, “that’s exactly what I think. And if Dan Sanders was too big a fool to realize what he had waiting for him at home, that was his own loss. I can’t fix that for you. I’m not the guy who left” He paused. “At least, I wasn’t until tonight.”

“You’re not leaving me,” Angela reminded in quick response. “I’m the one who asked
you
to go. Remember?”

“Does it really matter so much?” he asked in a voice that was cold and distant. “The loss is the same for both of us, no matter who moves first.” His angry
gaze burned through her before he turned to walk out He’d said all the wrong things, he knew. Anger had a way of doing that to him. He’d have turned around in a second if she’d called his name. She was all he wanted. Now. Always. But the door closed with a quiet click behind him, and he walked through the night air to his truck with his hands jammed into the pockets of his jacket

Then an old thought crossed his mind. No. Angela wasn’t all he wanted. Not at this particular moment He got into the vehicle and slammed the door shut Maybe it really was better, easier at least, to walk away now while there was still some dignity in it. Later would be worse. Adam closed his eyes momentarily against the cold, stinging temperature. More painful than right now? He doubted anything could top this.

Back inside the stillness of her apartment, Adam’s name was called, but not for his hearing. The sound was muffled by the palm of Angela’s hand as she covered her mouth to hold back the accompanying sob. She hadn’t wanted it to end. She hadn’t meant to be so hurtful, to send him away—probably to Patty and Brandon. She’d only meant to protect her own heart But now, for the first time, she saw clearly that it was no longer hers to protect. It belonged to the man who’d just walked out that door.

“Mom, it’s me.” Angela spoke softly into the telephone receiver.

“Hello, dear. I didn’t expect to hear from you quite so soon. Is everything all right?”

Angela hesitated. “Not exactly,” she replied with a heartsick laugh. “Mom, Adam and I—Adam is gone.”

“Gone,” Grace Granston repeated. “Gone? I don’t understand—”

“We had a huge argument. He left here incredibly angry with me,” Angela said.

“Why? What happened?”

“I don’t know. I guess he’s just not quite as perfect as he seems.”

“No one ever is,” Grace commented.

“No, I suppose not” Angela sighed. “How are the kids?”

“Fine. David just got here a short time ago. John’s family kept him with them for dinner, and then brought him here.” Grace waited a moment before speaking again. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“Maybe later, Mom. Not right now.” Angela paused. “Does Nathan seem okay? I had a really difficult discussion with him today.”

“He’s been quieter than usual. He and Grandpa are downstairs playing video games, as you might have guessed.”

“Okay. I’ll be over to get them soon.”

“Angela, if you need some time—to be alone or to speak with Adam—they could stay longer.”

“No, Mom, but thanks for asking. I can’t work this out with Adam. Not now. We’re both too upset. I’m going to change clothes, and I’ll see you soon.”

“All right We’ll be watching for you, but take a little time for yourself first. Drink a cup of tea or take a long, hot shower…something soothing.”

“Thanks, Mom. Maybe I will.” But as Angela said goodbye, she wondered if she would ever again be able to shower without thinking of a partially dry, partially dressed Patty standing in Adam’s doorway.

“Mom!” Heather exclaimed when Angela quietly entered the family room of the Granston home about an hour later. “We didn’t hear you at the door.”

“I used my key so no one would need to come running upstairs to let me in.” She hugged her daughter just as one of Grace’s cats ran up to her and rubbed its back against Angela’s ankles. Then she looked across the room at the boys, where they sat engrossed in a video game. “Hey, guys. We gotta go. It’s getting late.”

“Five minutes? Please, Mom?” David begged. “Just let me move up one more level.”

“Five minutes. Then out to the van.” She responded to David’s pleas, but studied Nathan’s profile as he concentrated on the screen in front of him. Her eldest child didn’t acknowledge her presence.

Ed Granston looked over at his daughter. “Sweatpants and a T-shirt? Where did you and Adam go tonight? Out to pick pumpkins?”

“Grandpa! I’m the one who picked pumpkins today. On the field trip. Remember?” reminded Heather.

Angela patted her little girl’s dark curls. “I
changed before I came to pick up the kids. Adam and I didn’t go anywhere tonight,” she answered, hoping she didn’t seem noticeably evasive. That would bring more questions from the father who didn’t miss much of what was happening in his children’s lives. “Heather, hon, get your sweater and whatever you brought with you. I’m going to the kitchen with Grandma for a few minutes.”

Grace followed Angela’s cue and headed toward what limited privacy they would have in a house with six people.

“Adam’s ex-wife came to town today,” Angela explained quietly when they entered the room decorated with attractive baskets and strawberry designs.

“The one with the child?” Grace’s eyebrows raised in obvious concern.

“Yes. The boy is about Nathan’s age, and Patty…well, she’s so pretty and young looking—let’s just say she’s gorgeous. The drop-dead kind, if you know what I mean.”

“Did Adam introduce you?” Grace asked as she sat down at the table.

“No. She was at his house when I went over there for dinner. He’d given me a key so I could let myself in if I arrived before he did. So the front door opened, and there she stood, fresh from a shower and wrapped in a big robe—probably Adam’s.” Angela sank onto a kitchen chair and ran her fingers around the edge of a placemat the color of strawberries. “Just seeing her was…” Angela searched for the right word.

“Was…what? Enough to destroy what little self-confidence you’ve acquired recently?”

“You know me too well,” Angela replied.

“I know you well enough to realize you think practically every woman you encounter is better looking than you. And usually smarter, too, and more spiritual and a better mother—”

“Okay, okay. I get your point, Mom,” she answered. “But with Patty, it’s not something I’m imagining. Give me some credit here. I do have good eyesight, you know.”

“Good enough to notice whether Adam was there, too? At home, with Patty and his robe?”

“As it turned out, Adam wasn’t there. Patty and Brandon had let themselves in with an extra key she’d found in the garage. They were there, unannounced, waiting on him when he returned home from the center this evening.” Angela shook her head, thinking how ridiculous the situation sounded. “So after my encounter with her, I went home. It wasn’t long until Adam came to my apartment to explain.”

“I should hope so!” Grace exclaimed. “He certainly had some explaining to do.”

“But he did just that. Explained away her unexpected appearance, his brother giving her Adam’s address, the key in the garage, her recent divorce and unemployment…he had an explanation for everything.”

“Is she still there? Staying with him?”

Angela shook her head. “No. He gave them money
for a hotel room and necessities. They’re on their way to her family’s home, wherever that is.”

“So, Patty and her son are gone. How did Adam react to seeing the boy again?” Grace asked.

“I think it was difficult. He knows the child needs a father, but he said it couldn’t be him.”

Grace smiled. “So he had the answers you needed to hear. She’s gone. Nothing happened. And you’re still mad at Adam?” She looked thoughtful. “Why? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Because now, all of a sudden, Adam wants me. He thinks I’m beautiful and lovely and—”

“And that made you angry?” Grace asked, a dark frown on her face.

“Yes!” Angela exclaimed, then lowered her voice. “It all has to do with Patty.
She’s
the one who’s beautiful and lovely.”

Grace’s frown deepened. “But he said those things to you, Angela, not to Patty. Right?”

“Yes. He couldn’t have Patty, so he came to me.”

“Couldn’t have Patty? I think he could have had Patty any way he wanted her. I’m sure Adam knows that, too. But he sent her away. How can you be mad at him?”

“He sent her away because she’d hurt him once, and he knew it could happen again. So suddenly, I look pretty good to him, when all I really am is a safer bet.”

“You’ve been dating him for weeks. You obviously ’looked pretty good’ to him long before tonight.”

“Well, apparently I looked especially good tonight because tonight it was me he wanted,” Angela replied, trying to keep her voice down to a level that the children couldn’t hear.

“Mom, we’re ready. We’re goin’ on out,” David called from the hallway where the three were putting on their jackets.

Angela stood up, looking in the direction of their voices. “Anyway, he was very angry when he left my apartment, and I was, too.” She turned to leave the kitchen.

Grace reached out and caught Angela’s arm before she could walk through the doorway. “Are you telling me you don’t have similar feelings toward him?” she asked quietly, as the front door opened and the children headed outside.

Angela stopped and looked into her mother’s inquisitive brown eyes. “No, Mom. I have those same feelings, but I want him forever, and I want him to want me for whom I am—not because I’m more trustworthy than Patty.”

Grace nodded. “I understand, and I agree with your view entirely, but it might be helpful if you told him how you feel. Don’t make him guess. Tell him what you want”

Angela laughed softly. “Right, Mom. What do you think I should do? Tell him I want to marry him?”

“It would be a good place to start.” Grace patted Angela’s arm before releasing her. “And when you discuss this with Adam, remember it’s Adam you’re talking to. Not Dan.”

Dan.
Angela suddenly recalled that that was exactly who she had thought of before and during their argument. Maybe she hadn’t been fair to Adam. “Thanks, Mom.” She gave her mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “See you later.”

Then Angela and the children headed home. The kids all fell asleep during the ride to the apartment, allowing Angela freedom to run over and over in her mind the argument she’d had with Adam that evening. Could she have misunderstood? Had Patty reminded her too much about Dan and the past for her to have been objective where Adam was concerned? Should she call him? Tell him her feelings? Wait for an apology, or offer one of her own? She needed time to sort through her thoughts. Angela sighed as she made the last turn toward home. Had Adam asked for less than she had assumed? Or more?

H
e picked up the ringing phone. “Rec Center. Adam Dalton speaking.”

“Adam,” she started, then stopped.

He could hardly believe it was her. “Angela?” It seemed as if it had been such a long time since he’d spoken with her. And their last words had been so harsh.

“I was wondering…could you get away for lunch? With me?” she asked.

“Hold on a minute.” There was silence while he apparently checked his schedule. “I could get out of here around 12:30.”

“That would be good,” she responded and closed her eyes momentarily in relief. This wouldn’t be easy, but she’d made up her mind. Now she could get it over with—soon.

Adam interrupted her thoughts. “I’ll pick you up at—”

“No, I’ll pick
you
up,” she corrected. “I’ll be by to get you at 12:30. See you then.” She hung up without waiting for his goodbye.

“Hi,” she said, smiling a little as he reached to open the door of her van and slide into the passenger seat. But there was no smile waiting for her in return.

“You haven’t answered my calls for a week,” he stated rather matter-of-factly. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

The gray eyes that viewed her seemed cautious. Unfamiliar. Angela cleared her throat nervously as she nodded her head and returned her attention to driving.

“I thought we might go to the park, if that sounds okay. I stopped at a restaurant and picked up a couple of chicken sandwiches and two iced teas.”

“The park would be fine if it’s private. We have plenty to talk about.” Adam had even more to discuss than Angela suspected. He was determined to tell her about his past, and his present and future—the future he hoped she might still want to share.

Within ten awkward minutes, they arrived at the spot Angela remembered from her last picnic with the children. Feeling the not-quite-warm breeze of autumn, she reached for a sweater on the seat behind her, and Adam picked up the lunch she had brought. “See that spot right there?” She nodded toward a huge oak tree offering leaves in deep fall hues. “I have this old tablecloth the kids and I sit on when we come here.” She gathered it up from the rear of the
van and joined Adam by the place she’d suggested to spread the cloth on the ground. Then they sat down. But no one reached for the sandwiches.

“Do you need to be back at the office soon?” Adam asked in what Angela took as an attempt at casual conversation rather than any real interest in her schedule.

“No, actually, I don’t. I have a couple of hours of comp time I’m using to run errands, eat lunch…and talk with you.”

Adam turned his head slightly, studying her expression. And all Angela could think of was how much she’d missed him during the long, miserable week she’d endured. How was she going to tell him all she had to say?

But Adam spoke first. “Angela, about what I said the other night—”

“Don’t.” She raised her hand to silence him. “Don’t apologize for feeling the very same things for me that I feel for you.” She looked fully into his eyes and knew from his immediate frown that he had not been certain of her feelings for him; she hadn’t let him be certain because she hadn’t been sure of those feelings, either. Until Patty showed up. “You seem to be quicker than I am to say what you think and how you feel. It was no different the other night”

Adam shook his head. “You say more than you realize with those eyes,” he commented. “I’d never apologize for the way I feel about you, but I am sorry for the way I expressed it. ‘Want’ was not the word to use in telling you that I hope for a future with you.
I just didn’t think about how it might have sounded at that time, especially after the incident with Patty.”

“Oh, Adam, I was so upset that day,” she responded in a gush of words and feelings. “I’d had such a horrible afternoon with Nathan, and I needed to talk to you about it. Then at your front door I encountered Patty, of whom I am still insanely jealous.”

“Don’t be. You’re the woman I’m in love with.”

“But you hadn’t mentioned love until
she
showed up,” Angela reminded, glancing down at her skirt rather than meeting his gaze. “I didn’t want your reaction to Patty sending you into my arms.”

“Why would you even think such a thing?” he asked. “Don’t you know how I feel about you?”

She nodded her head and looked up at him. “I think I do now,” she answered, touching his jawline with her fingertips.

Adam reached up, covering Angela’s slender hand with his own. The lines etched at the corners of his eyes deepened a little as the beginning of a smile teased his mouth. “Now and always. I love you, Angie.”

She sighed softly. “I wish you had said it so plainly that night. Adam, how could things get so mixed up?”

“I don’t know, but sometimes they do.” He paused for a moment, remembering something she’d said earlier. “What about you and Nathan? Did you get things worked out with him?” He watched her pull away from him to reach for an iced tea.

“I think so. As much as possible,” she answered, thinking back to that afternoon. “I had to tell him some things about his dad…and me…and our marriage.” She paused, remembering her son’s angry response and the tears and self-doubt that followed. “Dealing with Nathan’s questions, seeing Patty in your home, then the things that happened between us that night—all of it made me think of parts of my life you know nothing about.”

“Then tell me,” he pleaded. “I want you, Angie…everything about you, everything that comes with you.”

“I want that, too,” she answered, thankful for tender words that eased the tension. “After Dan left me, I didn’t think I would want another man in my life.
Ever.
Then you came along and made me ‘feel’ again.” She sighed. “I’d learned how to not do that, you know. And I was pretty good at it. But now, I’m not even sure how I’m supposed to act anymore. I’ve never
felt
this way until now…until you.” She lowered her gaze to the ground. “I’ve never really been in love.”

Adam’s hand touched her chin, gently bringing her gaze up to meet his questioning eyes. “But,” he began quietly, “how can that be—”

“I was pregnant when I married Dan,” Angela stated bluntly, cutting off Adam’s words and clearly surprising him with her candidness. “I’ll bet you wouldn’t have guessed that about me, would you?” She raised a hand to shield her eyes from a temporary glare of the sun as she looked away from him. “My
mother has already asked me if I’m sleeping with you. Never mind the fact that I’m thirty-two years old, a mother of three and a school principal. She still felt the need to inquire.” She set down the iced tea.

“I would have thought your mom might show more respect for you than to ask something so personal.”

Angela shook her head. “It’s not lack of respect as much as it is a parent frightened of what lies ahead of her child. You know what I mean? It’s as though she’s still trying to be a good parent to the kid I was then in hopes of keeping me from making ‘shipwreck’ of my life again, as she called it.”

“Did you remind her that your values are different from what they used to be? That you’re trying to live a Christian life-style?”

“That’s part of the problem,” she admitted reluctantly. “Back then, I’d been a Christian for years. I was in a Christian college, attending church regularly, living life the way I think it should be lived. I started drifting away from all of that after something happened that changed everything.”

Adam waited as she searched for the right words. She’d run through this a hundred times in her mind, thinking it would make the discussion easier. It didn’t.

“You see, back then my brother Rob had been a Christian longer than I had, and we went to the same school, Trinity College. But he was a couple of years ahead of me. His best friend, Nick Alsmore, was his roommate and Nicky was a Christian, too—and a very good friend of our family. He and Rob were
ready to graduate when Nick was killed in a car accident. After that, Rob basically gave up on God.”

“Rob? Your brother, the pastor?” Adam asked.

“Yes, that’s him. He was a long time coming back to the Lord after Nick’s death. About ten years, actually. We had been very close until the accident. Then suddenly, it was as though he was a different person. He didn’t have anything to do with church anymore, and I think he knew I didn’t belong with his new friends or his new life-style. I guess he protected me from that by leaving me out. But I felt very alone. Loving God…even just being a Christian…it suddenly seemed difficult to continue on with things Rob no longer valued. His opinion had always meant more to me than probably anyone else’s ever had.” She glanced at Adam and saw understanding in his eyes.

“Angela, I’m sure that was a difficult time in your life,” Adam offered, all the while thinking of how much harder
his
admission would be for her to accept than anything she had to say to him today. “You don’t need to explain.”

“Yes, I do.” She smiled as she looked at the man who listened patiently to her words. “It’s part of who I am.”

“Who you
were,
” he corrected.

“True,” she laughed lightly, lowering her gaze to the warm hand resting close by hers and wishing he would touch her again. “I’m not a kid anymore, not a college student.” Then a new seriousness entered
her voice, “…not lonely, needy, frightened…or stupid.”

“Of the many things you may be, stupid is not among them,” Adam said quietly.

She shrugged. “Not anymore, at least. So, as the story goes, I met Dan, who had no interest whatsoever in God. He was at a Christian college because his parents had made it clear to him that he could go to any college he chose, but that if he wanted
them
to pay for it, he would go to Trinity, his father’s alma mater.” Angela took another drink. “I’m talking so much my throat is getting dry.”

Adam smiled. “Do you want to eat your sandwich and finish talking later?”

“No. I’d rather get this over with.” She held the foam cup in her hand and fiddled nervously with the straw. “So I started dating Dan. That was my decision,
my
mistake. But Rob, even to this day, blames himself for that relationship.”

“Because if he’d been watching out for you, he wouldn’t have let you get involved with Dan?”

Angela frowned. “How’d you know?”

“I’ve seen your boys watch over Heather. I think that’s how they’d feel about it, too, if something like that happened to her.”

“Oh, no,” Angela moaned softly. “I can’t even think about Heather in that situation. I want her to have what I’ve found with—” she stopped, suddenly feeling almost shy “—with you,” she finished.

Adam nodded. “I want
us
to have what you’ve found with me, too, Angela.”

“So do I,” she agreed with a smile. “But I need to tell you more.”

“I know, go ahead.”

She paused momentarily, wishing she had taken two aspirin before she’d left home. This was every bit as difficult as she’d suspected it would be. Maybe more so. “Dan had recently broken up with a longtime girlfriend after she met someone new. And there
I
was…so he took an interest in me. Then, I don’t know what happened exactly. He said he loved me, and wanted to marry me. I guess I believed him. Maybe I thought I loved him, too. It doesn’t matter now. It was still no excuse for what happened. We hadn’t been seeing each other any time at all when I became pregnant. And there I was, still practically a kid my self…going to have a baby with some guy I barely knew.”

“And your parents? They probably took the news badly.” Adam could only imagine what that news must have done to Grace and Ed Granston.

Angela grimaced. “Badly, but differently,” she explained. “Dad, more or less, wanted to kill Dan if he wouldn’t marry me, and Mom didn’t want me to get married. She thought I should live at home, have the baby and finish school.”

“She must have been perceptive enough to know Dan wouldn’t make you happy. Not for a lifetime.”

“That’s it, basically,” Angela replied with a sad smile. “Mom knows me pretty well. She knew I’d stay with him regardless of how I felt. She said I was stubborn and determined enough that if I committed
my life to Dan in marriage, I’d be stuck there forever. Unhappily ever after.”

Adam looked away.
“Unhappily ever after.” Lord, don’t let me do that to her, too.
“So that’s pretty much what happened?”

Angela nodded. “Almost. We got married because I wanted to try to somehow make things right, and he knew his parents would cut off the college money if he refused to live up to his responsibilities. So we married in the spring, had Nathan at the end of the summer, and tried to make something of a normal life for ourselves.” She stopped talking for a moment, trying to recall what else she had wanted to explain. “I had the distinction of being the first woman in our family to ‘have to get married’ for as far back as anyone can recall, and, believe me, I tried very hard to ‘recall’ such an incident. But I couldn’t. And I was determined not to be the first divorce, too. That was more distinction than I wanted. So I finished school with Mom and Dad’s help, got a teaching job, made more money than Dan, looked after practically everything you can imagine on the home front, including car repairs, maintaining health insurance, paying bills—everything.”

“And Dan?”

“He did mostly what he wanted—drank too much, had his friends to hang around with.”

Drank too much?
Had he heard her correctly? For Adam, it seemed like time stood still as he considered her words—what they meant, what they’d mean in
the days to come. “You’ve never mentioned the drinking.”

Angela shrugged. “It’s not something I talk about much, now or even during our marriage. I suppose it was the typical ‘family secret’ kind of thing. The only people I’ve really opened up to have been the women in a support group I used to belong to for families of alcoholics. When Dan left us to start divorce proceedings, I stopped being part of that group.” She smiled. “It felt so good, Adam, to be away from it all, to actually put it behind me and go on. You can’t imagine how that felt.”

Yes, Adam could imagine that. Especially Angela’s newfound sense of freedom. And he was about to take that feeling away from her.
Oh, Lord, should I tell her this now? Now?
“Angela—”