A Weekend with Mr. Darcy (24 page)

Katherine wasn't sure what she was going to do. Her mind was whirring wildly and everything around her seemed to have taken on a dream-like quality, as if this couldn't really be happening to her. Only one thing was certain—she had to get as far away from Warwick as she could. The thought of facing him was too much for her. She couldn't bear it—not after the time they'd shared together.

She shook her head, trying to dispel the images of the nights they spent together. How could she have been so stupid? She never gave herself to a man so easily, and yet she walked right into his trap. She'd never felt as betrayed in her life. Even her relationship with David hadn't ended as badly as this. At least he'd only been hiding a wife and not another complete identity!

Katherine entered the main hallway, the music of the Great Hall fading behind her, and slowed her pace a little. How had everything changed so quickly? The whole evening felt as if it were crashing down around her, and the joy that she'd felt earlier at the ball had vanished, as if it had never existed. Now she felt as if the pretty white and silver dress she was wearing was mocking her, and she determined to get out of it as soon as she could.

She made it as far as the foot of the stairs when Warwick caught up with her.

‘Katherine—wait!'

She heard his voice and froze and then slowly—very slowly—she turned around to face him. ‘Don't come any closer to me,' she said, holding up a hand to stop him. Her voice didn't sound as if it belonged to her. It was icily cold and strangely distant.

‘Look,' Warwick said, raking a hand through his hair which was looking somewhat dishevelled, ‘I don't know what Nadia's been saying to you, but—'

‘Really? You have
no
idea what we've been talking about?' Katherine said, her voice threaded through with sarcasm.

‘I didn't mean that. I mean I think I know what she's told you.'

Katherine nodded. ‘Oh, you do? So you don't think I was smart enough to work it out for myself? You think you could have just kept up this charade for as long as you liked and I would never have guessed? Is that what you think?' Her eyes narrowed as she looked down at him from her position on the stairs. She saw him swallow hard. ‘You lied to me,' she said, and she could feel her heart racing madly. ‘Why did you lie to me?'

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

‘All those things you said to me.'

‘I
meant
them! It was all true.'

She shook her head. ‘Why don't I believe you? How do I know what the truth is from you? Was this some game of yours? Were you using me to research some plot line of a new book?'

‘No!'

‘Because that's what it feels like! Right now I'm thinking you've just been using me for some warped writer's experiment. Did you enjoy sounding me out about my opinions when you already knew what my answers would be? Did you get some perverse pleasure from that?'

‘No! Katherine, I—'

‘I can't believe you abused me like that. How could you? How could you break that trust? All those letters we shared!' Her eyes flashed with tears as she remembered them. ‘All those things I told you. I
trusted
you! I told you things I've never told anyone else in my life because I thought you were my friend.'

‘But I am your friend—
listen
to me!'

Katherine wouldn't be interrupted. ‘I thought you were Lorna.'

‘But I
am
Lorna,' Warwick said.

Katherine shook her head. ‘I bet you were laughing at me behind my back. “There goes Katherine the Gullible.”
God!
What a fool I've been! I can't believe I didn't see what was going on. It was so blindingly obvious! I mean, you kept talking about your own books, didn't you? Trying to get me to praise them, for heaven's sake! There were so many things I should've picked up on. I even found your notebook.'

‘What?'

‘Yes—you were stupid enough to leave it out in your room, and I flipped through it. I shouldn't have, I know that, and I don't know what made me do it, but I thought it was something to do with your antiquarian business.' She gave a laugh that was as far away from being amused as it was possible to get and then she fixed him with dark eyes that were brimful of hurt. ‘Do you know what the worst thing about all this is, the thing that hurts the most? You quoted me from my letters, didn't you? I remember it now. You quoted something I wrote to you. And here I was thinking that we were so alike, that we had the same thoughts.' A rebellious tear spilled down her cheek before she had time to stop it. ‘And I fell in love with you!'

‘Katherine!' he said, his voice filled with anguish. He took a step towards her up the stairs, but she held up her hand again as if she were trying to ward off something inherently evil.

‘Why didn't you tell me you were Lorna Warwick? You should have told me. I had a right to know, didn't I?'

He looked at her and for a moment she thought she could see tears in his eyes too.

‘I didn't know how,' he said. ‘I really wanted to, but nobody knows about it. When you started writing to me, it was fun. I had no idea the letters would continue and that we'd become such good friends. It was a wonderful surprise to me—it really was. But it also made things difficult because I began to fall in love with you, Katherine, and I didn't know what to do.'

‘Don't lie to me! I don't want any more lies!'

‘I'm not lying. You've
got
to believe me.'

‘Why?'

‘Because it's the truth. I fell in love with you months ago, and I didn't know what to do about this weekend. Remember you asked me if I was coming? But you were asking Lorna. You weren't expecting
me
. And when I arrived, I tried to talk to you, but you kept brushing me off. I had to get to know you as
me
.'

‘And that's why you started using my letters? Bowling me over with how much we had in common?'

‘But it's all true. We do have all those things in common; you know we do.'

‘I don't know anything anymore!' Katherine said. ‘I don't even know what to call you.'

‘Warwick. I'm Warwick.'

They stared at each other for a moment in silence, the sound of laughter and music faint in the background from the Great Hall. Everyone else was enjoying themselves.

‘You're Warwick,' Katherine said. ‘But where's Lorna? Where's the woman I was writing to?'

‘She's right here,' Warwick said, his hand on his heart. ‘I'm here.'

Katherine shook her head. ‘I told her all my secrets.'

‘And they're safe with me.'

‘I trusted you. I trusted the person I was writing to.'

‘I know,' Warwick said. ‘And I'm so sorry if I betrayed that trust.'

‘If?
If?'

Warwick hung his head in shame. ‘I didn't know what to do so I just kept writing to you. I had no idea this would happen. You've got to believe me.'

She stared at him and then slowly shook her head before turning around. ‘I don't want to hear any more.'

‘Katherine! Listen to me. This is crazy.
Katherine!
Don't walk away from me. We're best friends, for God's sake! You can't throw that away.'

‘I didn't throw it all away!' she said, stopping for a moment to face him. ‘
You
did!'

‘There was nothing else I could've done. Tell me what I should've done.'

‘You should have told the truth!'

‘When? At what point would you have listened? When we first met here? You would have thought I was a mad man! When I was in bed with you? Would you have stayed? Tell me that! Because I don't think you would have.'

‘And when were you planning on telling me? How long could this have gone on for?'

‘I don't know,' Warwick said. ‘All I know is that we're good together. I've never met anyone like you. You've changed everything for me, Katherine. Before I met you, I was just a writer with a string of hopeless relationships that never went anywhere. But then you wrote to me and I swear, my life changed gears. It sounds corny, and I'm not putting this very well—I'm a better writer than I am a speaker—but you gave me something to look forward to. Your letters became my whole life. I couldn't write in the mornings before the postman had called, and then I'd have to answer your letters straightaway. I've never had that experience before in my life, and I know you feel the same way too. I
know
you do.'

Katherine, who had been racing up the stairs, suddenly stopped. She turned to face him and almost crashed into him. ‘Don't! I can't listen to any more of this.'

‘Please—' he reached out to touch her arm, but she pulled away from him.

‘No,' she said, and there were tears in her eyes again. ‘Leave me. Just leave me.'

Robyn had danced herself dizzy, and her complexion was the colour of deep red roses. Still the music continued, and Dan spun her around until she felt featherlight and in danger of floating away.

‘You okay?' he asked her.

‘I think I need one of those fans,' Robyn gasped. ‘I've overheated.'

‘How about a turn around the gardens?' Dan suggested.

‘You sound just like a Jane Austen character,' Robyn said with a giggle, and the two of them left the room together.

It felt good to be out in the garden. The cool October night air felt wonderfully refreshing on Robyn's bare arms, and she breathed deeply, something she'd forgotten to do when she was spinning around the dance floor.

‘I've never danced so much in my life,' Robyn said.

‘Me either,' Dan said.

‘Did you dance much in London?'

‘Are you kidding?'

‘You didn't go clubbing?' Robyn asked.

‘Do I look like the sort who goes clubbing?'

‘Well, not here when you're mucking out the horses,' she said.

‘And not there either. I was the workaholic, remember? I'd stay in the office until the cleaners threw me out and then grab some awful takeaway on the way home. It wasn't much of a life, really.'

‘And you're not bored here in the middle of Hampshire after London?'

Dan laughed. ‘No way! There isn't a moment to be bored with all the horses and dogs to take care of and even if there were, I'd fill it with walking and riding. There's so much to see around here. It's so beautiful.' He smiled. ‘People don't talk about Hampshire much. It's not in the same league as the Lake District or the Cornish coast, is it? You don't hear people saying they're going to Hampshire for their holidays but it's a beautiful county. I love the gentleness of the hills and the long, wide rivers. I don't think I could live anywhere else now.'

Robyn smiled. She liked listening to him talk about Hampshire. It was the birthplace and resting place of her dear Jane Austen, after all. But her smile soon faded as she remembered that she'd have to leave it all behind the next day.

They walked around the house until they were in the gardens at the back of Purley. Robyn could smell the scent of late roses on the night air.

‘Tomorrow's your last day,' Dan said, making Robyn flinch. It was as if he had read her mind.

‘Don't!' she said. ‘I don't want to think about that.'

They walked for a few moments, neither talking. An owl hooted in the distance, a long mellow sound, and a little breeze played with Robyn's curls.

‘Robyn,' Dan said at last. ‘I need to know.'

‘What?'

‘Are you really going?'

She stopped walking and turned to look at him. ‘I've got to. My home—'

‘Don't go.'

‘Dan!'

‘Stay. Stay with me.'

‘What? In the stable block? With your dogs and my chickens?'

‘
Why not?'
he said, taking her hands in his and squeezing the very life out of them.

‘You're crazy!' she said.

‘Crazy about you,' he replied.

Robyn didn't know what to say. It was all too much for her. She'd looked forward to this weekend, and it had exceeded all her expectations; it really had, but then there'd been the stress of having Jace there and the terrible proposal and breakup and the unexpected confusion of falling in love with Dan, she thought.

‘We'll find a way,' Dan continued. ‘Pammy's got more land than she can shake a script at. There's room for you and a thousand chickens.'

She looked up at him. His face was gentle and earnest. ‘But my home's in Yorkshire, not here.'

‘Like mine was in London, but it's here now, and I want you here with me.'

‘But you hardly know me!'

Dan frowned. ‘But I
do
know you. Okay, I might not have known you long, but does that really matter? I only know that it feels right with you.'

Robyn sighed. ‘It's just—this is all so unexpected. I mean, I came here with Jace.'

‘And you were going to break up with him, which you did,' Dan pointed out.

‘I know.' They started walking again, across the grass towards the lake. ‘I've not had time to come to terms with all this yet,' she said as she gazed up at the moon. There were a few shreds of thin cloud scudding across the sky and its light wasn't as bright as the prior night.

‘What do you need to come to terms with?' Dan asked.

‘Everything!' she said. ‘You. Me. Jace. I've never been single, you see. I've been with Jace since school, and it's going to be strange being on my own when I get home. I know I've been unhappy with him and we didn't really spend that much time together, but he was always there.'

‘And now
I
always want to be there,' Dan said, catching up her hands and spinning her around. ‘Always. Always.
Always
!'

Robyn felt like Marianne being spun by Willoughby in the film version of
Sense and Sensibility
as she completed circles before crashing into Dan. They were both laughing.

Finally, once some semblance of normality had settled, Robyn sighed. ‘I have to go home,' she said. ‘I have to be me for a while. I have to think.'

Dan swallowed and then nodded. ‘I don't want you to go, but I know you have to.' He reached out a hand and stroked her hair. ‘I'll drop you at the station.'

Robyn shook her head. ‘It's okay. I'll get a taxi with the others.'

‘You don't want a lift? I can take you on Perseus if you'd prefer.'

Robyn smiled. ‘Can we say good-bye tonight? I think it would be easier.'

Dan took a moment before answering her. ‘Easier for you, perhaps.'

She took his hands in hers. They were warm, and she knew she never wanted to let go of them.

But I must
, she told herself.

‘I'm sorry,' she said, ‘but I've got to have some time to myself.'

‘I know,' he said. ‘Can I at least kiss you good-bye?'

She nodded and closed her eyes as his lips met hers.

It was the sweetest kiss she'd ever had, and it took all her courage and resolve to leave him, to walk back to the house without looking around to where she'd left him standing in the shadowy moonlit garden.

***

Alone in her room, Katherine held her head in her hands. Her breaths were shallow and frequent, but she was managing to keep the tears at bay. Had everything really happened or had she had one cocktail too many and imagined it? Warwick Lawton was Lorna Warwick. Lorna Warwick was Warwick Lawton. How had she not seen it? She'd even made a comment about his unusual name and how it was like Lorna Warwick's. For goodness sake, how had she not guessed? She even started writing a letter to Lorna when she'd—or rather
he'd
—been sleeping in her bed!

She flopped down on the edge of her bed and kicked off her shoes and then stood up to take her dress off. How happy she'd been just a couple of hours before when she was getting ready for the ball! How happy and how naïve, she thought.

How could Warwick have done that to her? Had he no heart? How could he have flirted with her so mercilessly and made her fall in love with him?

Katherine closed her eyes. She couldn't believe it. She'd let it happen again—she'd given her heart to a man only to be deceived.

Her mind spiralled back over the previous few days and she remembered opening Warwick's notebook and half recognising the handwriting. Of course! It was the same writing as Lorna Warwick's letters, except a little more rushed and scrawled. Why hadn't she seen it? All the clues had been screaming at her. Had she deliberately chosen to ignore them?

What hurt her more than anything was the fact that she believed him so absolutely. They'd only been together for such a short time but she sincerely believed that there'd been a connection between them. She felt safe with him and she felt loved. Had that all been an act? Was she just part of some warped writer's experiment? And when exactly had it all started, with her first letter or at some point after that? Had Warwick come to Purley with the express purpose of deceiving her? The thought was too awful to bear.

Suddenly there was a knocking on her door.

‘Katherine?' Warwick's voice called from the landing. ‘Katherine? Let me in! We need to talk.' He knocked again and when there was no reply, tried the handle, only to find it locked. ‘
Please!
You've got to give me a chance to explain.'

Explain? What did he want to explain? That he used her? She
knew
that!

‘Go away, Warwick,' she said quietly, too quietly for him to hear, and then she sat perfectly still, closing her eyes and her mind to his knocking and his words until—finally—he left her.

Still she remained sitting on the bed, not quite knowing what to do, but then she got up and found her mobile and placed a quick call to the local taxi firm. She felt rude to be leaving without saying good-bye to everyone, especially Dame Pamela and Robyn, but it was the only thing she could do.