A Woman's Place (37 page)
She would call him Joseph, the name Dirk had picked out. Rosa never imagined that she could love someone as much as she loved Dirk, but her love for little Joseph welled up inside her until it overflowed in tears. He hadn’t done a single thing to make her love him yet and had caused her ten long hours of pain. But she loved him. This must be what Jean meant when she said God loved His children enough to die for them.
Joseph was so fragile and vulnerable. He needed Rosa in order to live. And they both needed Dirk. She closed her eyes in exhaustion and prayed.
“God, I have nothing to offer you. But if you take care of Dirk for me, I’ll take care of this little baby for you the best way I know how.”
1944
“Courage is the first of human qualities because
it is the quality which guarantees all others.”
W
INSTON
C
HURCHILL
April 1944
“Allied airplanes have been methodically strafing and bombing
the coast of northern France in preparation for the expected invasion.
Some two thousand planes have taken part.”
* Jean *
The town of Stockton seemed like a beautiful place to Jean as she walked to work on a warm spring day in April. But her mood darkened when she opened her locker and found yet another threatening letter calling her a “Nigger lover.” She quickly changed into her work clothes, then brought the letter to Earl, as he’d asked her to do. As she neared his cubicle, she saw that it had been vandalized once again.
“Not again,” she moaned. The vandalism had happened so often in the four months since Thelma joined Jean’s crew that Earl might as well give up cleaning it.
“Here’s another letter,” Jean said, handing it to him. “I found it in my locker this morning. Is it my imagination or is the racial tension here at the shipyard going from bad to worse?”
Earl gestured for Jean to sit in the chair in front of his desk. “It’s not your imagination. The pressure to get rid of Thelma has escalated almost daily. First she found threatening letters stuck to her time card or stuffed among her tools, saying
Whites only
and
Quit or else
. Then she said that people started jostling her and elbowing her and tripping her whenever she stood in line at the punch clock, or headed to the lunchroom, or moved through the exit doors when the shifts changed. I warned her never to be alone in the factory or outside on the grounds. I’ve started meeting her at the door before every shift and escorting her out at the end of the day.”
“I don’t understand what these troublemakers want,” Jean said as she gazed at the black paint splattered on Earl’s walls.
“Me either. Integrated washrooms are the big issue in other factories, but ours are still segregated—and we’re breaking the law by keeping them segregated, I might add. No one is being forced to work with Thelma, so why all this hatred and venom?”
“I guess it’s the only thing some people know,” Jean sighed. “I never saw such prejudice back home. Maybe I’ve been sheltered.”
“What about the other two women on your crew—Ginny and Helen? Is this unrest bothering them?”
“If it is, they haven’t said anything. Should I go ask them?”
“Better yet, let’s have a meeting about it right now, here in my office.”
Jean quickly found Helen and Ginny, and the three of them squeezed into Earl’s cubicle. “I see someone has redecorated your office again,” Helen said, gazing around at the mess.
Earl nodded. “This problem seems to be growing, and I’m getting worried. I’m sure you are, too. I want you to know that if you would like to change shifts or transfer to another crew, everyone will understand.”
“I’m not abandoning Thelma,” Helen said. “I’m standing beside her. I’ll admit that I’m getting tired of looking over my shoulder all the time, but if we quit now, then the racists win. And at least there’s one small victory to celebrate. Did you read about the Supreme Court decision in
Smith v. Allwright
? They declared that all-white election primaries are against the law. Negroes must be allowed to vote in them.”
“That’s great,” Earl said, “but why has progress been so slow? Negroes won the right to vote after the Civil War. Why are they still being prevented from voting in 1944?”
“I don’t know,” Helen said, “but it’s outrageous.”
“How about you, Ginny?” Earl asked. “We’ll all understand if you’ve had enough.”
“I’m not quitting,” she said softly.
Her answer surprised Jean. It usually didn’t take much to frighten timid Ginny. She barely had the courage to stand up to her husband. “Are you sure?” Jean asked her. “I know you’ve found threatening letters in your locker, too.”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“What about you, Jean?” Earl continued. “Are you certain that you want all this pressure? I know that some of the men were pretty hard on you even before Thelma joined us. And this racial tension is getting serious.”
“I’ve made up my mind not to let them scare me,” Jean said. “My twin brother, Johnny, is a gunner on a B-26, flying bombing raids over Germany. He’s standing up to a far more powerful adversary than I am.”
“And it looks like we’re winning over there, too,” Earl said. “The invasion of Europe can’t be too far off. It’s what the soldiers are all preparing for. In the meantime, let’s hope we win this racial battle, too. Okay, ladies. I guess you can go back to work.”
Jean noticed how quiet Ginny had been during the meeting and drew her aside when they were alone at the tool station. “Are you okay, Ginny? You don’t need to stay on my crew just because Helen does. If you feel threatened at all, please let me know.”
“No, I meant it when I said I wanted to stand beside Thelma. She’s been so brave through all of this.” Ginny paused, staring down at her feet. “But these cowards who are harassing us don’t even have the courage to confront us face-to-face, and they made me realize what a coward I am. I still haven’t confronted Harold about his
philandering
.”
“Do you know for certain that he is?”
“No, I haven’t found any more evidence, but I never did ask him about the receipt for the flowers.” She lifted her chin and drew a deep breath as if summoning her courage. “If Thelma and our soldiers overseas can be courageous, then it’s high time I faced things head on, too.”
Jean knew that Ginny was doing the right thing, but she couldn’t help worrying about how she would ever recover if her husband did leave her for another woman. “Once you know the truth, there will be no turning back, you know.”
“I know,” Ginny said softly. “So I need to decide what I’m going to do in the event that … that he is
philandering
.”
Jean squeezed her shoulder. “Good luck, Ginny. You’re stronger than you think you are. And you can always turn to your friends.”
Jean was still thinking about Ginny’s dilemma at the end of the workday when Earl stopped her on her way out the door. “A little birdie told me that you have a birthday coming up next week, Miss Erickson. I was wondering if you would you like to go out dancing again to celebrate?”
Jean wanted to accept his invitation, but she hesitated. “Can I think about it and let you know?”
“Sure.” Earl’s grin wavered. She had hurt his feelings. He couldn’t seem to help wearing his heart on his sleeve, as Jean’s mother used to say, where it was plain to see.
“It’s not like I’m waiting to see if I get a better offer,” she explained. “It’s just that you caught me by surprise, that’s all.”
He laid his hand on her arm. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Jean. Let me know when you decide, okay?”
She pondered Earl’s offer on the long walk home. The spring day was still magnificent with new buds on the trees and forsythia in bloom. She passed daffodils and tulips in people’s yards and was tempted to pick them. What was it about springtime that made her feel like dancing?
Jean had been out dancing with Earl two times, first for the War Bond rally and then on New Year’s Eve. Both times, Earl had shown her a good time. On New Year’s Eve, as midnight approached, they had stood together on the dance floor, counting down with the rest of the crowd: “Five … four … three … two … one! Happy New Year!” Earl had pulled Jean into his arms and kissed her. It had felt so natural—and so exciting—that she’d wanted him to kiss her again. Her reaction had stunned her. What about Russ? She wouldn’t like it if he kissed another girl, whether it was New Year’s Eve or not. Now she didn’t know if she should go out with Earl again.
She longed to confide in someone who could help her sort out her feelings, but she wasn’t sure who it should be. Her sister Patty wouldn’t be objective because she didn’t like Russ. And it would be too awkward to ask Ginny or Helen, since Earl was their boss. She decided to wait and see what Russ had to say in his birthday card. But the week passed without a letter or a card from Russ.
On Sunday—another gorgeous spring day—Jean ran into Rosa at church. Her baby was four months old already and growing fast. Joseph had a head of wild, dark curly hair like Rosa’s and chubby, rosy cheeks.
“Look at him!” Jean gushed as she lifted him into her arms. “I’ve always been fairly immune to cute babies, having grown up with seven younger brothers, but this little guy is special. Even Helen says so—and think of all the children she’s seen in her lifetime.”
Rosa beamed at the praise. “I know. Helen gave me a camera for a present so I could send pictures of him to Dirk. Hey, want to walk home with us? I’ve been taking Joey to and from church in your sister’s baby carriage now that the weather’s nice.”
“Yeah, sure. That’ll give us time to talk.”
Rosa settled Joey in the carriage, tucking a blanket around him, and they started on their way. “You have to tell me all about the gang at work—and about Mr. Seaborn, too.”
Jean felt a stab of guilt. She had left Earl’s offer dangling all week and knew she needed to give him an answer soon.
“Can I tell you something, Rosa? And can you promise not to tell anyone—not even Ginny or Helen?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I went out dancing a couple of times with Earl Seaborn.”
“No kidding? Is he a pretty good dancer?”
“Yeah, he’s great—and he’s a lot of fun to be with, too. He even—” She paused. Rosa looked like she was about to burst into laughter or song, or maybe dance a jitterbug. “What’s going on, Rosa? Why do you have that look on your face?”
“Me? What look?”
“I don’t know—like you’re up to something.”
“I’m just glad to hear you’re going dancing. You used to tell me all the time how much you love to dance.” Rosa still looked like she had a secret she was dying to share, but Jean went on.
“Well, Earl asked me to go out dancing next week for my birthday, but I’m feeling a little guilty. I have a boyfriend, you know. Russ and I have been together for almost four years and I like him a lot.”
“What do you like about him?”
“Well …” Jean paused, listening to the carriage wheels thumping on the cracks in the sidewalk. Rosa’s question stumped her. Why couldn’t she think of a dozen things she liked about him? “He’s very good-looking …” she began, then realized how shallow that made her sound. She searched for something better. “He’s part of me, I guess, part of my past. We’ve shared a lot of good times together—Russ and Johnny and Sue and me.”
Her answer sounded so feeble. Was that the best she could do? Maybe it was because she and Russ had been apart for so long that she’d forgotten what she liked about him. And he wasn’t very good at writing regularly. Jean and Rosa stopped at an intersection and waited for the traffic to clear. When they’d crossed to the other side, Jean changed the subject.
“Earl and I are just good friends,” she insisted, “and I want to keep it that way. But both times when he took me home I started imagining how it would feel to kiss him good-night. I didn’t kiss him, of course, but the thought made me feel so guilty. Like I was cheating on Russ. Have you ever gone out with two different guys at the same time?”
“Oh, sure. Most girls do.”
“Is it wrong to be a two-timer like that?”
“Mr. Seaborn knows all about Russ, right? So you’re not twotiming him. Did you ever promise Russ that you wouldn’t go out dancing with a friend?”
“Not in so many words … But Russ never takes me dancing, so does that mean I have to sit home for the rest of my life and never dance again?”
“Of course not! You’re too young to give up dancing! These should be the best years of your life. You deserve to have a little fun, be a little independent before you settle down and get married. You’re not engaged to Russ, are you?”
“No, but I don’t want to do anything to lose him.”
Rosa stopped walking and faced Jean, her hands on her hips. “Listen, if he gets sore because you went dancing with a friend—when he won’t even take you himself—then I say good riddance.”
“But my life would be so empty without him.”
The baby had kicked off the blanket, so Rosa tucked it around him again before they resumed walking.
“Russ would be very jealous if he knew about Earl,” Jean continued. “But jealousy is a good quality, isn’t it?”
“I guess so.” They walked a little way in silence before Rosa said, “Can I ask you a question about church?”
“Yeah, sure.” Jean was relieved to change the subject, even though she was still unsure if she should accept Earl’s offer.
“Mr. Voorhees says I need to have Joey baptized. I’ve seen them baptizing other babies at church, and the daddy always holds him. I don’t think it’s right to do it until Dirk comes home, but when I told Mr. Voorhees that I wanted to wait, he got real upset. He says it’s important to do it now and I shouldn’t wait. Is that true?”
“Gosh, I don’t know what to tell you. Joey is your son, so it seems like it should be your decision. What does Dirk say?”
“I don’t know. I wrote and asked him, but I haven’t gotten any letters from him since the end of February.”
A chill shuddered through Jean. “February? That’s more than a month ago.”
“Yeah, I know.” Rosa’s voice shook with emotion. “They said in the news that they’ve been fighting some terrible battles on Iwo Jima and all those other islands. They said the marines are taking all the heat. And Dirk is out there with them … somewhere.”
Jean groped for words to reassure her. “He probably has so many patients to treat that he doesn’t have time to write. And it’s probably hard for the ships to get in and out of those war zones with the mail. And who knows? Maybe Dirk’s letters were on a ship that got damaged or sunk.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve been telling myself the same things, but it’s so hard not to worry. I’ve never gone this long without hearing from him before. And in the meantime, Mr. Voorhees keeps nagging me about getting Joey baptized.”
“Did you explain to him how you feel?”
“He won’t listen. But if I go ahead and baptize him, it’d be like admitting that Dirk might never come home. He
will
come home! He promised me! And I want to wait for him, even if Joey is old enough to walk up the aisle and dump the water on himself. His daddy should be there!”