A Woman's Wisdom: How the Book of Proverbs Speaks to Everything (22 page)

1. What important part do our words play in our role as helpers? Keeping in mind the examples we considered from Scripture (Esther and Delilah), describe a time when your words swayed a situation for good or ill. Is there a particular teaching from Proverbs that your experience
proved true?

2. Proverbs offers a good bit of insight into the destructive nature of lying. Where have you seen those truths worked out in your own life? (You might want to review specific proverbs using the appendix).

3. In what ways is the term
false witness
much broader than just telling the truth in court?

4. Of the particular speech follies we covered in chapter 3, are there any that you have always viewed as no big deal? If so, how has your view about them changed as a result of studying Proverbs?

5. Some types of talk, while not outright sinful, are nevertheless foolish. What, according to Proverbs, is included in this category?

6. Is gossip a struggle for you, whether with tongue or ear? What truths from Proverbs about gossip most directly impact you and why? Select one proverb about gossip to memorize.

7. Is there something in your life at present that might make you susceptible to flattery? How will you guard against it specifically?

8. What are some characteristics of wise words?

9. How are our ears linked to our tongues when it comes to wisdom?

10. Read the following verses about wise and foolish talk from James, the New Testament book of wisdom. What do you find here that reinforces or builds on what you learned from Proverbs?

• James 1:19–20
  

• James 1:26
  

• James 2:8–12
  

• James 2:14–17
  

• James 3:2–12
  

• James 4:11–12
  

• James 4:13–16
  

1. With whom do you spend the most time? How did these friendships come about and develop?

2. What tends to draw you to particular friendships? Consider both the pitfalls and the godly qualities we looked at in
chapter 4.

3. Are any of your friendships characterized by chaos? If so, what proverbs address that,
and how?

4. Proverbs cautions us against giving our hearts to angry people. Why? Consider developing a fuller biblical picture of anger by studying the following passages:

5. Why must we be cautious in deepening a bond with someone given to sensual indulgence? What sorts of indulgences might this include beyond just food and drink?

6. What are some of the biblical principles for choosing wisely in friendships? In keeping with that, do you have an “iron” friend (Prov. 27:17)? What about that relationship causes mutual sharpening?

7. Do you find it difficult to speak up when you see your friend straying from godly paths? What is the perceived risk you fear? What is the difference between speaking truth in love and judgmental criticism? How do you think we can distinguish between
the two?

8. Have you ever been caught in an idolatrous relationship? If so, what bad fruits of idolatry were evidenced? How did the relationship end? If it hasn’t yet ended, describe how the steps of repentance in Hosea 14 can
help you.

9. What does Scripture say about friendships with professing believers who live in unrepentant sin? How do we determine when to move closer to the sinning one and when to
move away?

10. Jesus, of course, is the ultimate friend. What do these verses teach about this aspect of our relationship
with him:

• Exodus 33:9–11
  

• Psalm 25:14
  

• Luke 7:33–35
  

• John 15:13–15
  

1. In what area do you find self-control to be a perpetual struggle?

2. What is gluttony? Why can those who eat too little be considered gluttons?

3. How can we eat to the glory of God? Use the following passages to provide an answer.

• Psalm 104:14–15
  

• Psalm 104:24–26
  

• Proverbs 23:20–21
  

• Proverbs 25:16, 27
  

• Proverbs 27:7
  

• Matthew 6:25–33
  

• Romans 14:13–21
  

• 1 Corinthians 8:8–13
  

• 1 Corinthians 10:23–33
  

• 2 Thessalonians 3:10–12
  

• 1 Timothy 6:17
  

4. How does Proverbs 25:28 describe self-control? From where does the analogy of broken-down walls come, and why is it a fitting analogy?

5. Read Romans 1:18–32. Describe the downward spiral of sin. Based on this passage, what causes someone to get stuck in a destructive sin pattern, in what today is called “addiction”? How does Galatians 5:17–26 show us the
way out?

6. Which of the five hindrances that we considered in chapter 5 might best describe your personal struggle with self-control?

7. How does James 4:2–3 factor into the struggle with self-control?

8. How do Colossians 1:29 and Philippians 2:12–13 speak to our efforts at self-control?

9. What place does alcohol hold in your convictions? Does that differ from what you practice? Meditate on the following passages and those in the appendix that mention the consumption of alcohol:

• Numbers 6:1–21
  

• Psalm 104:14–15
  

• Luke 2:1–12
  

• Romans 13:10–14
  

• Romans 14:13–23
  

• Ephesians 5:15–21
  

• 1 Thessalonians 5:5–8
  

• 1
  Timothy 3:8
  

• Titus 2:1–4
  

• 1 Peter 4:1–3
  

10. Ultimately, what four factors lead to self-control?

1. Discuss or describe the ways in which our thoughts, feelings, and desires can shape our lives. Provide some concrete examples.

2. Why is it wise to give greater weight to thoughts than to feelings?

3. What is the link between humility and wise thinking?

4. Read the following passages about thoughts:

• Romans 8:5–7; 12:1–2
  

• 2 Corinthians 10:4–6
  

• Ephesians 4:17–24
  

• Philippians 2:3–8
  

• Colossians 3:1–3
  

• 1 Peter 1:10–16
  

What imperatives (commands) do you see that pertain to our thought life? Why, according to these verses, is our thought life so vital to our faith?

5. Contrast single-mindedness and double-mindedness. You might first want to read Psalm 119:113 and James 1:5–8; 4:1–8.

6. Discuss or describe what it means to be obsessed with something or someone. How can obsessions impact us spiritually? Why is it wise to guard ourselves against obsessive thoughts?

7. Review what Proverbs teaches about anger (see, e.g., Prov. 10:11; 14:29; 15:18; 16:32). What can we learn about anger from the life of Jesus? Ephesians 4:26 warns us, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” What are some ways we can handle anger
without sin?

8. In what way was David’s grief excessive? (Read 2 Sam. 18:1–19:8.) How can we handle grief with godliness?

9. What turns a good desire into a sinful one? What does Proverbs teach about desires that are aligned with God’s truth? (See Prov. 10:24; 11:23.)

10. According to Proverbs, how can we handle our desires in a godly manner?