A World Apart (The Hands of Time: Book 3) (22 page)

“How long will you be gone?” Abbie asked, sitting on the stile next to Finn.  She snuggled closer to him as much for affection as for warmth.  “I’ll miss you.”

Ever since the incident in the woods
, Abbie had become more open in her affection for Finn, not caring if her parents noticed.  Nothing had been said, but there was an understanding between them, that their lives were now bound together, and they were both happy with that.  Mr. Mallory hadn’t said anything to anyone about his conversation with Finn, but the look of approval in his eyes was unmistakable.  Finn had proven himself to be a worthy candidate for his daughter’s hand, despite his lack of family and means. 

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Abbie, and I’ll be thinking of you the whole time I’m gone.  Your father has entrusted me with an important task
, and I can’t let him down.  I thought he would send me packing for sure, and instead I’ve been recruited to help the Revolution.”  Finn pulled Abbie closer to him, warming her against the cold night air. 

“I thought you didn’t believe in the Revolution,” she
said quietly, but Finn could hear the hope in her voice.  “Have you changed your mind?”

“I’m beginning to.  What will the Fletchers do now that their farm has been
torched by the British?  They didn’t even have anything to do with the murders.  It’s so unjust.”  He still burned with guilt every time he thought of it.  He was the one they were looking for, yet an innocent family paid the price simply for being closest to the scene of the slaughter.

News of the burning came on Sunday evening, shortly after the Mallorys had finished their Sunday dinner.  The British had set fire to the farm while the family was at church, therefore effectively preventing them from salvaging anything of value.  The Fletchers returned to find their home burned to the ground, black smoke rising into the sky as flames still licked the charred beams sticking out of the ground. 
The only thing that remained of their home was the stone hearth, which was now a soot-covered monument to the life they’d known. Even the apple orchard was put to the torch.  It was a forest of black stumps, smoking in the wind. 

Thankfully, the animals hadn’t burned with the barn.  Mr. Fletcher had left them grazing in the field, unwittingly saving something of their
possessions. 

“
Pa said they’re going to go live with Mrs. Fletcher’s brother in North Carolina.  The British couldn’t accuse Mr. Fletcher of the murder outright since there was no evidence, but they needed to make an example of someone, and the Fletchers happened to be the only people in the area.  Thank God Pa is on good terms with the British.  He walks a fine line.  He doesn’t tell us his business, but we all know what he does.  He must remain above suspicion to carry on with his activities.”  Abbie leaned against Finn, taking his hand in hers.  He chose not to remind her that the two British soldiers had made a remark about her father’s patriotism.  Maybe they just assumed that all the locals were rebels.

“It seems to be a family business.  I’ve met your uncle Alfred in Williamsburg.”

“Yes, Uncle Alfred is the one who brought my father into it.  There’s a whole network in place, but no one knows who the members are.  It’s safer that way.” 

“Did Sam not want to be a part of it?”  Finn asked.  He was curious about Sam, especially since he would be meeting him soon.

“Sam is young and idealistic.  He thinks fighting muzzle to muzzle in an open field is the honorable way to win a war.  My Pa knows better than that.  He believes that wars are won by cunning and strategy.  He learned that from his father.” 

“I’m surprised you know all this, Abbie.  Your father doesn’t seem like the type to give away information easily.” 
Finn had never actually heard Mr. Mallory talking politics in front of his children.  The odd remark was made here and there, especially by Jonah, but for the most part, the talk in the house was very neutral.

“He doesn’t.  My bed is just
on the other side of their wall, so I hear him talking to Ma when he thinks we’re all asleep.  I don’t mean to eavesdrop, but I like to know what goes on.  I haven’t told anyone, not even Martha.  She might tell Gil, and who knows whom he might share the information with.  People’s lives depend on secrecy.  Speaking of lives, Finn, you will be careful, won’t you?”  She was looking up at him in the darkness with those beautiful dark eyes, her face full of concern for him.  He would be careful, if only to come back to her. 

“I promise to be very careful, Abbie.  Will you give me a parting gift?”  He lifted her chin with his finger, kissing her tenderly.  She returned his kiss,
wrapping her arms around his neck, her heart beating fast. 

“Let’s go into the barn, Finn,” she whispered, taking him by the hand. Finn just nodded,
unsure of what her intentions were.  Abbie climbed the ladder to the loft, beckoning for him to follow.  Finn’s heart was beating so wildly he could barely breathe.  What did she have in mind? 

Abbie was already lying on the straw, waiting for him. 
Silvery beams of moonlight shone between the slats of the loft, illuminating parts of Abbie’s face.  She looked nervous and shy, but her intentions were clear. 

“Abbie, are you sure
this is what you want?  I will wait for you as long as it takes.  We don’t need to rush.”  Finn had dreamed of being with Abbie, but was suddenly nervous and unsure.  Waiting for their wedding night would be the honorable thing, and he wanted to do right by her more than anything.

“I want to, Finn. 
I’ve given it a lot of thought, and it feels right.  I want it to be you, and I want it to be now, before you go.  Now, stop talking and come here.”  Her voice was shaking a little, but she sounded determined, her eyes never leaving his, begging him not to refuse.

Finn lay down next to Abbie, pulling her to him and kissing her hard.  He could sense her nervousness, but she kissed him back, guiding his hand to her breast. 
It was so soft and round in his hand.  He’d never done more than hold her and kiss her, so this was new territory for both of them.  Finn caressed her breast through the fabric, watching her face.  She seemed to be enjoying it.  Her eyes were closed, mouth slightly open, her breath ragged in the silence of the barn. 

Finn closed his eyes, trying to remember what Charles had told him about pleasing a woman.  Finn
hadn’t really been listening, embarrassed by the images Charlie was bringing to mind, but he’d need to remember now.  He wanted to do it right, and make sure that Abbie liked it.  Abbie suddenly opened her eyes, looking at Finn.  Her pupils were dilated in the darkness, but the expression on her face made Finn want to devour her.  Abbie unlaced her bodice with trembling fingers and pulled down her chemise.  Her white breasts were glowing in the moonlight, just begging to be kissed. 

Finn bent his head, kissing the velvety skin and running his tongue over her nipple.  She moaned with pleasure, exciting him. 
His cock was straining against his breeches, pushing against Abbie’s belly.  He gasped in shock as Abbie pressed her palm against it, rubbing slowly.  No one had ever touched him before, and the sensation was unbelievable.  Finn took Abbie’s hand and moved it away.  If she continued, he wouldn’t be able to hold back.  Instead, he slid his hand under her skirt.  She was wearing hose today, but the flesh above them was bare and warm.  Finn’s heart raced as he pushed his hand between her legs, exploring her.  Abbie seemed to hold her breath, her back arching as he probed her.  He wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but she seemed to like it, so he continued, enjoying the sounds she made.  She gasped in shock as he slid his finger inside her.

“I’m sorry.  I’ll stop,” he said quickly, pulling out his hand. 

“Don’t,” Abbie breathed. “I don’t want you to stop.”  She reached down and began to unlace his breeches, her hands brushing against his cock.  Finn felt as if he was going to explode.  His mind was screaming for him to stop and take Abbie back home, but his body wasn’t listening.  Finn positioned himself between Abbie’s legs and followed his instincts.  It took a few tries to finally penetrate her, but he felt her maidenhead tear as Abbie cried out in pain.

 
              “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.”  He wasn’t sure what to do, but his body was already moving, instinct taking over as he began to move his hips, sliding in and out of her resistant body.  Abbie looked tense and uncomfortable, but began to relax after a few moments, sighing as he spilled himself inside her. 

“Was that all right, then?” he asked, terrified she’d tell him he’d done it all wrong
, and she never wanted him to touch her again.  She nodded, looking up at him, her eyes full of wonder.

“So, that’s what all the fuss is about,” she said smiling.  Her breasts were still exposed, her nipples taut and dark in the dim light of the barn.  Finn looked at her bare legs and the dark triangle barely hidden by her bunched up skirt.  His cock grew hard again, throbbing and wanting.  Abbie saw his predicament and smiled at him, spreading her legs
in silent invitation. 

The second time was better.  He lasted longer, finding a natural rhythm as he made love to her.  Abbie was more relaxed this time.  She just lay there at first, but then began to move her hips with him, drawing him in deeper,
heightening his pleasure.  He cried out as he collapsed on top of her, satisfied.  God, he’d never expected it to be like this.  No words could have described what he was feeling, their bodies still joined.  Was it like this for everyone, or just for them?

“I love you, Abbie,” he breathed into her hair.  “I love you
so much.”

“I know, Finn.  I love you too
, and now I know that we’ll never be parted.”  Abbie got to her feet, looking around for her cap.  It had come off and her hair tumbled around her shoulders, released from its pins.  Finn had never seen her with her hair down.  It was so beautiful, cascading down her back and framing her face.  He wished he could see it in the daylight, lit up by the bright rays of the sun.  It must look like spun gold.

“
We best go back now before we’re missed,” said Abbie, as she felt in the straw for her pins.  She found a few and quickly put her hair up again before replacing the cap on her head.  Finn couldn’t see her face clearly in the darkness, but he thought she was smiling.  He smiled back.  Now he was truly a man.  He’d bedded a woman, and was going on a secret assignment come morning.  How things had changed in only a couple of weeks.

After nearly a week, Louisa was totally frantic.  There was less milk with each day, Evie cried pitifully, kicking her legs and flailing her arms in frustration.  Louisa was drinking a cup of ale per hour, but it wasn’t helping.  If anything, her stress only made things worse.  She alternated between bouts of crippling depression and anger.  She raged at Kit for having sex with her, at herself for causing them to leave Virginia, and at Bridget for failing to do something to help.  Her baby was going hungry, and there was nothing she could do. 

By the
seventh day, Evie stopped crying.  She just lay there, lethargic and limp, her skin almost translucent.  Louisa cried silently as she put the baby to her breast, praying that something would come out.  Her heart was hammering with fear, her womb contracting painfully as Evie sucked desperately, starving for nourishment. 

“We
’re going to lose her, aren’t we?” Kit whispered, watching the baby’s struggle.  He was deathly pale, his eyes full of fear.  “There must be something we can do.  We can’t just let her die, Louisa.”

Louisa felt something snap within her.  She glared at Kit, her face hot with fury.  “We are in the middle of the bloody ocean, in case you haven’t noticed.  What am I supposed to do?  There isn’t a lactating woman in sight.  If it
weren’t for you, this wouldn’t be happening.”  She froze at the sight of his face.  She hadn’t meant to lash out at him, especially since he didn’t know about the possible pregnancy.  Kit rose slowly, his face a mask of disbelief as he stared at her.

“What do you mean, if it
weren’t for me?” he asked quietly.

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it, Kit.  I’m just so scared.”  Louisa looked away from his expression of pure shock.  He looked as if he was about to burst into tears
, making her feel awful.  It was all her fault.  If she hadn’t had that little outburst in Jamestown, they would be at home right now, possibly with Valerie, Alec, and Finn.

“What did you mean when you said it was all because of me?” he asked again.  Louisa could see the tension coursing through his body, his fists clenched at his side.  There was no way he would just let this go.  She sighed and faced him.

“Bridget thinks that the milk is drying up because I’m pregnant.”  There, she said it.  It was out there, although there was no way to verify if it was true.  She hadn’t had her period and with no pregnancy test, only time would confirm Bridget’s suspicions. 

Kit sank back onto the berth, the agony in his eyes painful to behold.  She shouldn’t have said anything, but now he would blame himself for the situation.  Kit looked away
, unable to face her.

“Kit,” Louisa called out to him.  “Kit, look at me.”  He just shook his head, lost in his misery.  Then he rose and walked out of the cabin,
the door slamming behind him.  If there was ever a moment when Louisa wanted to die, this was it.  Her baby was starving, her husband was heartbroken, and she was possibly carrying a baby who was pickled in ale thanks to her attempts to get the milk to come back.  Louisa’s face contorted in agony as she began to wail, rocking back and forth with the silent baby in her arms.

Louisa cried until there were no tears left in her.  Evie fell asleep lulled by the rocking, but her little face was pale and sickly looking.  How much longer would she last?